25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers
It seems to me that most of the real-life examples listed below are by 20-something singles.
I would hope to god that nobody over the age of 35 is behaving in the manner that some of these women are describing. Though I personally have seen men on dating sites, age 40 and up, guilty of a few of these (below this list, I’ll paste in and comment about a few of the over age 35 morons I ran into on dating sites).
….In a recent AskReddit thread, women shared examples of the biggest dating profile dealbreakers that they’ve come across, and their responses are super enlightening for anyone who’s nervous that their bio is scaring off potential matches.
But remember: even the most seasoned online dating vets make mistakes and experience rejection sometimes, so there’s no point in beating yourself up over a failed relationship attempt.
All you can do is make sure you’re putting your best virtual foot forward, and wait patiently until you meet someone you really connect with.
Here are 25 examples of things some women don’t want to see in dating profiles.
….Gross Sexual Usernames
Having usernames like “big dick” or “likes to lick”
Badmouthing Your Exes
If your entire profile is a rant about how much you loathe your ex, we’re going to assume you’re not really over them.
Insulting Women on the Site
Anything that insults women or implies they see themselves as the majority of women on there. That might be the case (doubtful) but just don’t swipe away if you’re not interested.
“Where are the nice girls on here”
“Duck faces and posers need not apply”
“Sick of girls on here who aren’t genuine”
On a similar note, insulting your potential matches by making assumptions about them (as if all women on dating apps are the same) is a huge red flag.
Laying Out All Your Baggage
“I’m not trying to get hurt anymore. Seems like all the good guys get treated like shit. My last girlfriend was cheating on me so I’m a little insecure right now. Please don’t be one of these fake girls who’s just gonna hurt me and fuck my friends behind my back.”
Uhhhhhhh, your baggage is way too heavy. I can just picture getting back to back text messages round the clock if I don’t respond immediately and getting called out of my name if I want to go out with friends
Calling All Women “Crazy”
Putting a quote in their bio about how most women are crazy and how he’s looking for a woman who isn’t crazy.
It’s pretty rude to boldly proclaim that “all women are crazy,” and it definitely won’t endear you to us.
Describing Yourself as “Alpha”
“I’m an alpha”
When I see the phrase “alpha male” in your profile, I don’t assume you’re ~manly and tough~ — I assume you have an ego problem.
Listing What You *Don’t* Want
Really any list of people you don’t want to date. It just makes you look like an asshole… just filter out who you don’t want.
Writing out a list of all the traits you don’t want in a partner will make you seem super negative; instead, focus on the traits you do want.
Posting Only Shirtless or Group Pictures
The shirtless pic of you in your bathroom mirror.
The group picture with no indication of who you are – I’ll assume you are the least attractive person in that picture and you are trying to use your more attractive friends to get me to click on your profile (frequently that seems to be the case). That irritates me since it feels like you are trying to pull a bait and switch.
I don’t want to date a set of faceless abs, or you and 12 of your closest friends.
Listing Physical Traits You Want
Claiming to be looking for someone who isn’t shallow or superficial, then listing all the physical traits you have to have (e.g., no fatties, must have at least a C cup breasts)
EDITED: My biggest beef with this one is not listing a physical trait that you desire/ don’t desire; it’s the hypocrisy of expecting others to overlook your shortcomings while refusing to overlook theirs.
Obviously, everyone has preferences for potential partners, but listing out all the physical traits you want comes across as super shallow.
Saying You Want Someone “Real”
Anything along the lines of “just tired of games” or “looking for someone who is real” You sound like a whiny person who has some serious baggage.
Talking About Spoiling A Woman
“Looking for a woman to spoil”
If you’re on a site specifically for sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships, then that may make sense. But mentioning in a Tinder bio that you want to “spoil” a woman seems condescending — we can make our own money, thanks very much.
Referring to Yourself as a “Nice Guy”
“I’m a nice guy. I don’t understand why women don’t like nice guys.”
Ditto about guys claiming that they are intelligent and then saying women don’t like intelligent guys
If you’re really a “nice guy,” your actions will show that, so you don’t need to tell us. And yes, women do like nice guys — just not the kind that (Link): expect romantic or sexual attention in return for their “nice” actions.
Writing A Sexual Resume’
Their sexual resume’. I had one guy say he had a ten inch cock, was down for cuffs, and loved to eat ass. Next.
Even if you’re only looking for hookups, have the decency to wait until all parties have expressed consent/interest before sharing the nitty-gritty details of your sexual fantasies.
Acting Like “Intelligent Conversation” is So Rare
“I just want someone who can hold an intelligent conversation”
Every single guy I’ve come across that says this usually means “I want to talk about things I’m interested in and nothing else”
Everyone can hold an intelligent conversation about something, and it’s pretty demeaning to assume someone is unintelligent just because they don’t share the same interests or outlooks as you.
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As far as my personal experience on dating sites, which ran roughly from my mid-30s to my late- 30s (I still have a dating profile or two but don’t really check in all that often as I did before).
I personally ran into men, and I am including men who state on their profiles they are Bible believing Christians, say and do some of the following (and these men were over the age of 40, sadly- mature enough to know better):
- Writing A Sexual Resume’
Yep. Some Christian men will state on their profiles (even on dating sites considered “Christian”) kinky, raunchy sex jokes, their sexual habits, sexual desires, or, else do this early on in the dating site contact stages (where the site guides your interaction).
I’ve had Christian guys (again, over the age of 40) let me know upfront that they really like sex, want a woman with “sexual experience” (I’m now over age of 40 and still a virgin, so I guess this means you’d want to dump me just for that? How shallow of you).
And I had a Christian guy or two state their sexual preferences early on in the communication process – we had not even talked by phone or met for a cup of coffee!
My response: hey asshole, I prefer a gentleman. I don’t want or need to hear about your sexual habits, prefs, or proclivities. Keep it to yourself.
It’s highly presumptuous and disgusting of you to just assume so early on it’s okay to talk sex stuff with me, or assume I’d want to have sex with you.
The only time bringing up your “must have or want” sex list should ever arise would be after you’re in a serious, steady relationship with a woman – not on your dating site profile, not the first few times you’ve chatted her up online.
It’s disgusting. It would be like approaching a woman you’ve just spotted at the grocery store, marching up to her and blurting out “I’d like to bone you and have you suck my dick,” or some other sexual comment.
If you would not say such things to a woman you’ve just met in person, why oh why do so many of you men feel this is acceptable behavior on a dating site or dating app?
Would you want a man behaving that way towards your single female relatives, like your widowed or divorced mother, your sister, an aunt? Then why do you do this to other men’s mothers, sisters, aunts?
If you’re that keen on sex, go masturbate. Keep it off dating sites.
- Posting Only Shirtless or Group Pictures
Yes, this is one I kept running into on dating sites, even from mature (as in over age 35) Christian men.
I finally updated my profile to say to any men reading it that I refuse to respond to men who do not post a photo of themselves alone, well-lit.
A lot of men post no photos at all, or photos too dark to make out, or group photos.
- Gross Sexual Usernames
Yep, ran into this one too in my time on dating sites, though not from any Christian men, not that I can remember
Other ones I personally ran into on dating sites, including from Christian men:
- Calling All Women “Crazy”
- Saying You Want Someone “Real”
- Referring to Yourself as a “Nice Guy”
- Listing What You *Don’t* Want
- Insulting Women on the Site
- Laying Out All Your Baggage
And not mentioned on that list but what happened to me constantly:
Men who private message you or who wink at you on these sites, who, if you do not reply in two seconds, immediately flood your in-box with 34 messages asking you why you didn’t reply yet.
Some of them are rude about it and get into name-calling, too.
I had guys call me stupid, whore, ugly, etc, just because I didn’t log in until two days later to see that they had messaged me two days prior. They were expecting me to log in to the site every three seconds and respond immediately to any and all messages I received.
If you don’t have the self confidence and patience and cannot handle rejection well (whether it’s actual rejection or perceived), you have no business being on a dating site or app – just get off and stay off.
Women do not owe you dates, calls, smiles, responses.
I don’t believe men on dating sites owe me dates, calls, smiles, replies.