Hax Column: 30-Something Guy Refuses to Marry Anyone Who’s Already Been Married

You have to like these guys who sound like awful people but who are very demanding and picky about who they want to date and marry.

Like the guy described in this letter.

DEAR CAROLYN (Hax):

My brother has been dating a woman for about a year, and my entire immediate family does not like her. Even my super easygoing husband thinks she is terrible. I am serious. She is manipulative, passive-aggressive, immature, and has a self-righteous streak that goes for miles.

My mom is just crushed that this girl will likely marry my brother. I think if he thinks she is so great then let him make this HUGE mistake.

He is 34 and complains that there are so few women out there who have never married and have no kids (requirements for him), so I think he is feeling a bit desperate.

What does a family do?

Hax’s partial reply:

DEAR COMMON: A family embraces futility. It’s a common problem, yes, and intractable, and heartbreaking.

That’s because attempting terrible-mate-extraction surgery not only rarely succeeds, but the complications also can kill the family. You can’t get rid of the whole problem unless you cut out the sibling as well.

In layman’s terms: Your brother’s girlfriend may be a jerk, but it, um, takes one to love one.

I know, I’m a jerk for calling your brother one, but — he has requirements.

Requirements.

You huff that the girlfriend is controlling, immature and “has a self-righteous streak.” Yoo hoo. There’s a call for you on the big red phone: Your brother dismisses all widows, divorcees and mothers as unworthy of his attention. How would you describe that?

Our loves reflect ourselves. There’s something in your brother, something you can’t (or would rather not) see, that makes this woman attractive to him.

If you want, you can read the rest of Hax’s reply (Link):  here.


Related Posts:

(Link):  Middle Aged, Single Christian Guy’s Long, Picky Girlfriend Wanted Ad on Craig’s List

(Link):  A Critique of – 10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry by J. Lee Grady / And on Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians

(Link):  The Reason Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others by D. Brennan

(Link):  Male Entitlement In Dating and In Marriage  – Single Christian Men Who Feel Entitled – Part 1
 (I’ve been meaning to write a Part 2 to this for the longest time)

(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear

(Link):  The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness

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