Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

I believe that the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is stupid and acts as a hindrance to Christian single women who’d like to marry.

Also, (Link):  a lot of self professing Christian men are abusive or pigs, so if you’re a Christian woman, you should marry a guy on the basis of how he treats you – not if he claims to believe in Jesus or not.

By the way, I am a little confused by the heading which says that the letter write is an atheist – in her letter, she seems to say that she does believe in God but is not “as religious” as her boyfriend is.

(Link): Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

(Link) Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

DEAR ABBY:

For the first time in my life, I am in love. We met about a month ago. I know he’s the man I have waited my entire life to meet. I am 33, so I know what I feel isn’t just lust.

We have one huge hurdle, though: religion. He’s actively religious, while I am not, and he doesn’t believe our relationship can survive this difference.

On every other level, we are wonderful. We want the same things in life and share similar values. Our difference isn’t that I don’t believe in God. I do. But that isn’t enough for him.

I told him I would go to church with him, and raise our children (his and mine) in a Christian home, but when they are old enough we should allow them to make their own decisions. He says that would be “just going through the motions” and I’d eventually resent him for it.

Must I let him walk away? Or should I fight for what could be (next to my kids) the best thing that’s ever happened to me?

— HEARTBROKEN IN TEXAS

DEAR HEARTBROKEN:

In what way do you plan to “fight”? Do you plan to convert to his religion and devote the kind of time to it that he does? Think carefully about what that would mean.

While his fervent religiosity is laudable, what this man doesn’t realize is that regardless of the example he wants to set for his children, eventually they are going to make up their own minds and live their lives the way they wish.

This “one difference” is a deal-breaker. He is looking for a spiritual clone. You’re not it, so let him go.

---

Related:

(Link):  I’m a Christian Married to an Atheist — Here’s How We Make It Work by S. Allen

(Link): The One Thing Evangelical Leaders Don’t Want Christians to Know about Mixed-Faith Marriages (two links). by C. Cassidy

(Link):  She Married a Christian Psychopath She Met Via a Dating Site

(Link):   Maryland Pastor Pushes Equally Yoked Doctrine – Which Only Promotes Unwanted Protracted Singleness

(Link):  ‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid

(Link):   Cheating Christian Man Tells Wife He is Not Built for Marriage – Take Carrie’s Advice On Cheating Jerks – Equally Yoked Is A Stupid Teaching

(Link):  Christian Husband Raped, Beat His Wife, Made Her Sign “Slave Contract” – Why Christian Single Women Should Not Date or Marry Christian Men

(Link):  Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

(Link): Critique of Matt Chandler Sermon ‘Compromising a Godly Spouse Just to Get Married Yields ‘Heartbreak”  

(Link):  Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband

(Link):  Churches Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

(Link):  Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker

(Link):   The Selfish, Lazy Husband Who Kept Blowing Off His Stressed Wife to Go on World War 2 Reenactments – Male Entitlement in Relationships: Why Women Divorce Men – and Churches and Culture Support This Male Entitlement

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single 

(Link):   Update on Christian Rapist Man Who Used Christian Mingle Site To Pick His Victims (he liked to discuss Jesus and the Bible with them before raping them – other details in update) Equally Yoked Teaching IS A FARCE 

(Link):   Man Suspected Of Using Bible Study To Molest Children In His Home

(Link):  Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist – Adult Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

(Link): Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says – Single Xtian Ladies: Kick that Be Equally Yoked Teaching to the Curb! Also: Marriage and Parenthood do not make people more godly or mature or loving or ethical

(Link): Preacher Found Guilty of Murdering His Second Wife, Probably Killed The First One, He Had Affair With Vulnerable, Grieving Woman at His Church

(Link):  Should Christian Women Marry Non Christian Men? (discussed at another blog) Be Not Unequally Yoked Dangerous Teaching to Single Christian Women

(Link): Devout Christian studies student allegedly kills fiancée, makes it look like suicide

(Link): Wife of Preacher Shoots, Kills Him, Recounts Years of Physical and Sexual Abuse – So Much for the Equally Yoked Teaching and the Notion that Christian married sex is Mind Blowing

(Link): Married Christian Expert on Child Spirituality Pleads Guilty To Possessing Child Porn