It sounds to me as though this guy is stringing her along, and she’d be better off without him.
It’s the second letter on this page:
DEAR AMY: I am a single mom. I’m in love with my best friend. He means more to me than anything, but the one thing he can’t give up is his freedom of being single. He loves me, but wants his cake and to eat it, too.
When I try to move on and date other people, he pulls me back into thinking that he wants to be with me.
I love him so much that I keep letting him play with my heart.
I am having a hard time trying to be “friends with benefits” because I have such strong feelings for him. His family loves me, his daughter loves me and my kids love him and his family.
We’ve been doing this for almost two years. I practically live there when my kids are not with me. I am afraid of letting him go. I’m afraid I won’t find someone like him. What should I do?
(Signed), Confused Heart
When you start loving yourself as much as you claim to love this guy, you will find the strength to move on.
Your stark choice is to either accept this relationship as it is, or to leave the relationship because it is not what you want.
You’ve spent two years accepting a relationship that you claim is not good for you. You will never get those years back.
It might help if you imagined one of your children grown up and in a relationship like this. What would you tell them to do?
(Link): An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful