Annie Murphy’s Sex and Relationship Column Gives Some Fantastic Advice About “Losing Your Virginity” by Princess Weekes

Annie Murphy’s Sex and Relationship Column Gives Some Fantastic Advice About “Losing Your Virginity” by Princess Weekes

In my several years of blogging here about sexually related topics – celibacy and virginity included – this is only about the third or fourth article I’ve seen by liberals (this site I quote below, The Mary Sue, leans left) discouraging “virgin shaming,” and encouraging women to remain virgins if they want to.

Respecting virginity is very rare these days – virginity usually gets mocked – and this is especially true of liberal feminists, but even right wingers and conservative Christians are pretty bad about this subject.

I’ve never understood how “sex positive” feminists can hold such a double standard – they run about insisting that culture respects any and all female decisions regarding sex, but they always make an exception regarding virginity. Like (Link): this, for example. Many “sex positive” feminists are just fine with ridiculing women who are virgins by choice.

(Link):  Annie Murphy’s Sex and Relationship Column Gives Some Fantastic Advice About “Losing Your Virginity”

by Princess Weekes

Feelings about sex and virginity are very individualized. Everyone matures at a different level, and even though we claim to live in a sex-positive era, there is still a level of judgment when it comes to people who are virgins.

In her amazing sex/relationship column, Ask AnnieThing, actress Annie Murphy of Schitt’s Creek answers a question from a reader who is 22, a virgin, and feels behind because of it.

Q: I’m 22 years old and—yikes!—still a super virgin. I’ve tried dating through apps and have had no success because everyone seems to be looking for an “instant gratification” that I can’t give them. I feel so behind the curve.
How do I date when everyone I meet expects to have sex right away? Should I feel badly for being a virgin when my peers are sexually active?

Murphy’s answer, which you should definitely check out in (Link): full, is amazing and hilarious, but here are some of my favorite bits from  the response:

“Here is my short answer: No, no, NO. You should absolutely, positively not feel badly for being a virgin at ANY age.

 … There are lots of fun, sexy things to do that don’t have to involve losing your virginity. Laser tag and handjobs, for example.

“[…] Be honest about your virginity. Let things happen on your own terms. Losing your virginity doesn’t have to be “special” in the sense that you should spend 10 years crocheting a blanket upon which you shall be deflowered, but it certainly should be special in the sense that you are in control of, and comfortable with the situation when it happens. Go forth!!”

What I enjoy so much about Murphy’s response is that it makes it very clear that a person’s virginity should mean whatever they want it to mean. Bring sex-positive doesn’t just mean ending slut-shaming, it also means not treating people who don’t want to have sex, for whatever reason, as if they are prudish or cold.

Regardless of whether someone is asexual, waiting for marriage, or just waiting for the right time/date/location, virginity does not define someone’s worth, sexually or otherwise. It’s not something anybody should be ashamed of.

—(end article)—


Related Posts:

(Link):  Study (from 2016) Claims Pre-Marital Virginity is Now ‘Antiquated’ – Is Virginity No Longer Virtuous?

(Link):  People Were Asked to Guess A Virgin From A Group Of Strangers. The Results Were Unexpected

(Link): A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

(Link):  Craigslist confessional: I’m in my 40s, never married, and a virgin—but I’m happy by Abigail

(Link):  CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

(Link): Living Myths About Virginity (via The Atlantic)

(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)

(Link):  Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait

(Link):  (Liberal Feminist) Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

(Link):  Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)

(Link):  Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler

(Link):  Self Control – everyone has it, is capable of it, but most choose not to use it (New Study Says Conservatives Have Better Self Control Than Liberals)

(Link):  CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

(Link): Who Are “Incels”? Behind the Misogynistic Ideology That Inspired The Toronto Suspect

(Link):   Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

(Link):  Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull

(Link):  I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link):  Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass

(Link):  When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link):  Are You Ashamed of Biblical [Sexual] Purity? by J. Slattery

(Link): Sometimes Shame Guilt and Hurt Feelings Over Sexual Sins Is a Good Thing – but – Emergents, Liberals Who Are Into Virgin and Celibate Shaming

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link):  Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker

(Link): Slut-Shaming Is Bad—But The Overreaction Against It Also Hurts Women by J. Doverspike

(Link):  Stop Pretending Sex Never Hurts, By D.C. McAllister

(Link):  How Pre-Martial Sex Negatively Impacts People: The Incest Letter

(Link):  Christians Assume All Adult Singles Are Porn Addicted Fornicating Horn Dogs

(Link): Fornication or Previous Marriages Can Negatively Impact Other Relationships Later – Another Example or Two (via Ask Amy, Hax)

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