Dear Abby: Friends Push Overweight Woman To Date But Offer No Help
I’m 37 and still single. I have never been able to keep a guy around very long. They have all given me different reasons, but the main theme is that I’m “too independent and better as a friend.”
I’ve kept some of my exes as friends, so there haven’t been hard feelings. I have accepted that I’m going to always be alone.
I have come to terms with it and made a fairly decent life for myself.
My issue is, everyone keeps insisting there’s someone out there for me.
But when I’ve asked them to help set me up on dates or introduce me to a friend, they haven’t been willing, even though they’ve done it for others many times.
I “get” that I’m fat and not attractive, so maybe they don’t think I’m worthy of dating their guy friends. But how do I get them to stop pushing me to date, especially when they won’t help?
I also hate it when they ask me why I’m not a mom yet when I would be such a good one. Uh, hello! It takes two to make a baby!
I have lost friends over this since it’s tough to hang around with people who pity me for being solo and can’t accept me for who I am. What do I do?
Your “friends” sound like a-holes. Abby’s take:
Tell these friends you know they think they are trying to help when they say these things, but the truth is it makes you feel terrible and to please stop.
Next, recognize that the time has come to enlarge your circle of friends. While it’s true there may be a special someone out there for you, the chances are slim to none that he’ll find you hanging out with this group.
You are by far not the only overweight individual in this great nation of ours, and many of them are happily coupled up. Nobody has everything. People who focus on their positive qualities and make an effort to develop them are attractive.
If you stop dwelling on your perceived flaws and work to develop the things you have to offer, the results may surprise you. (This goes for both sexes.)