How Treating Dating Like a Job Interview Can Land You ‘The One’ by C. Gollayan
A few years ago, I was reading an article that interviewed several never-married guys who were over the age of 40, and I believe all of them had wanted to be married but never found a match.
One of the guys said he gave up on dating, because dating came to feel like job interviews, so he gave up on it and just sits at home when he’s done with his job for the day.
So there may or may not be something to the advice in this article.
By Christian Gollayan
Forget simply falling in love. According to some headhunters, the secret to finding “the one” in NYC is to treat it like a numbers game.
“The pure volume of daters [in the city means] you have to sift through them similar to interviewing a ton of candidates for a job,” says Dandan Zhu, 30, the owner of recruitment firm DG Recruit in Midtown.
So to efficiently find the best possible romantic match, Zhu says to act like a headhunter when looking for love. Below she shares six ways to date like a recruiter.
Write down your dating goals
Just like when you’re mapping out your career, Zhu advises you to write down a list of things you’re looking for in a partner. “This lets you know whether or not your date fits your profile,” she says.
Scroll through their social media
An easy way to start filtering out your prospective matches is to comb through their social media: Instagram and LinkedIn.
“When it comes to dating, we tend to look for people similar to us,” she says.
Whether that means having similar socioeconomic backgrounds, career paths or hobbies, Zhu says that screening matches’ online footprints will give you a clue to whether or not that person is worth meeting in person.
Grab coffee, not dinner
Instead of investing in a multicourse meal or a round of drinks on a first date, meet your match for some coffee or matcha.
“As a hiring manager you don’t want to be sucked into a full-day screener [with a candidate],” Zhu says. Scheduling a 30-minute coffee date gives you enough time to get to know your match before deciding if he’s worth another meeting. “That leaves you time and saves you cost if you’d like to cut the date short,” Zhu adds.
…. Stick to the 90-day rebate policy
Just like most new hires have a 90-day probationary period, Zhu says it takes just as long to get to know the person that you’re with. Once you hit the 90-day mark, she advises that you sit down and reflect on that person’s pluses and minuses and what value he adds to your life. “That’s their trial period,” Zhu says. “After that you need to decide whether you want to continue dating this person seriously or not.”
End things amicably
When a candidate doesn’t get the job, it’s best to be as vague as possible when it comes to providing feedback to avoid liabilities.
That applies to breaking up with someone you’re dating as well. Zhu says to stick to a script, such as: “It’s not you, it’s me; we want different things.”
This way, it lets the jilted partner off without too many feelings hurt. “You don’t need to get into specifics of why it didn’t work out,” Zhu says. “It’s not your job to fix someone.”