They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together
by Jamie Rogers
Journey to Purity creates a community for minority women abstaining from sex
Shunning premarital sex may seem old-fashioned to some, but Erica Willams says nowadays celibacy is somewhat of a movement, especially among some minority women.
Williams, 30, is the founder of Journey to Purity, a nonprofit in Virginia that aims to promote celibacy in women through education and community building efforts.
The Journey to Purity Meetup group has 102 members, and is limited to women. Williams says the majority of the women are black or Latina.
For these women, celibacy is a conscience and often faith-driven choice.
Black celebrities like Tamera Mowry-Housley, Meagan Good-Franklin and Ciaraspeaking openly about waiting to have sex inspires others to try, Williams says.
No topic is off limits for the women in the group.
…Williams says Journey to Purity started in 2016, four years after she shared her first “celiversary,” as she calls it, on Facebook. She continued to use social media as a platform for abstinence on her celiversary.
Women in several states started to reach out to her and say they are on the same journey and needed encouragement.
“When you do have sex with people it goes beyond that interaction, it’s spiritual, soul ties. It goes deeper,” Bunton says.
…Dating while celibate
This begs the question: How does one date when sex is a no-go?
There seems to be, Williams says, three types of guys a celibate women will most likely encounter while dating:
1. The guy who says, “I don’t want nothing to do with that” and immediately ghost you
2. The guy who says, “Oh, I can change her mind,” then makes it his mission to score
3. And the rarest of birds: The guy who says, “Oh, okay ,that’s cool.”
In his twenties, author Ryan Whitfield says he definitely fell into the first category.
Today, he’s in favor of celibacy, and is celibate himself.
“Being celibate does not mean you aren’t horny or turned on,” he says. “But you are willing to subdue those hormonal feelings and emotions or wants, to zone in on something a little bit bigger than just a sexual moment.”
“No sex doesn’t necessarily mean no intimacy,” Whitfield and Harris, who have co-authored a book and host a podcast together, say.
Intimacy is defined as an ongoing connection between two people. Sex is just a key component of physical intimacy, the duo explains in their podcast.
Williams says she remains hopeful that celibate women will find love.
“I believe there is one out there — I haven’t met him yet — who is already on the journey.”