Retired Wartime Nurse Aged 105 Says Secret to Long Life is to “Avoid Men As They’re Not Worth the Hassle”
Sep 2018
When asked for tips to live longer, Brenda Osborne said that men ‘aren’t worth the hassle’
A 105-year-old woman who lived through both World Wars says her secret to longevity was to stay single.
Brenda Osborne, born in Mansfield, Nottingham, in 1913, shared her tips with carers at her retirement home during her 105 birthday party.
She told them that she got to her old age by steering clear of men, working hard and getting out in the fresh air.
Related Post:
(Link): The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener
i agree with most of what you say, i would never encourage someone to settle per say just to be married, but to be honest, their is no ideal partner. Whoever you end up marrying is not going to be perfect and will NOT meet all of your needs and nor will YOU meet all the needs of your spouse either.
You will still need friendship and family and other ways of meeting needs, your spouse cannot be end all of your needs.
Now if you have a lousy marriage, you can always divorce, it happens all the time, and some people re-marry and find themselves happier in a 2nd marriage.
Their is no formula, being single is not better then being married or vice versa, but their is a reason that people seek marriage, it is one of the most satisfying relationships you will ever have , even if you end up divorced or single again, it is totally worth it.
I say it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved. If you don’t take the risk, their is no reward, that is how i view love and relationships.
@ Gladys Wisener
OMG, you were quite obnoxious in your response to me, and you made some unwarranted assumptions about me and what you assume I believe.
You tell me you are a 40-something grown woman in your first post on here, but the way you write about relationships, you sound like a very naive, girlish, 15 year old teeny-bopper with a crush on some boy in your sophomore math class.
Lemme guess: you dot the letter “i” in your husband’s name with a heart shape still, don’t you?
You wrote:
I’m sorry my dear, but where did I say a spouse will meet ALL of anyone’s needs?
I did not. I never said any such thing, that is not my view at all, so kindly do not put words into my mouth.
You seem to feel that because you are married, you must know way more than me about relationships, and you are here to lecture me – it’s quite condescending. I don’t need any advice or lectures from you.
I was engaged to a man for several years.
The man I was engaged to was a self-absorbed, financially irresponsible jackass.
He did not attempt to meet even my most basic of needs, but expected me to meet his.
I have written about him and my relationship with him in previous blog posts. I guess you ignored those posts.
I actually have blog posts on this blog where I advise married women who make their husband the center of their universe to make friends outside their marriage.
I explain in older posts that married women who look to their husband to get all their needs met are making a grave error, because when and if their spouse dies before them, divorces them, is simply a selfish man, or if their spouse develops dementia, they will find themselves single again.
So I advise them to branch out and make friends and do not rely only on a husband to get their needs met.
Did you even bother to read the rest of my blog? I don’t think you have.
You said,
That is your opinion.
The most satisfying relationships I have ever had have been with my mother, pet cats I had, and some female friends.
And it will be interesting if you still feel that way about marriage being the most satisfying thing even after you discover your husband has been (Link): looking at child porn,
visiting an (Link): Ashley Madison adultery site,
or when he (Link): develops dementia and doesn’t even remember who you are,
or when he dies before you do, due to old age or a heart attack.
It sounds like you have way, way too much wrapped up in your marriage – your emotional needs, your identity, your ego.
You said:
I already did the “love” thing in regards to romantic relationships.
The guy I was engaged to was a selfish bastard.
I’d rather be single than in a relationship with a dead beet and a user.
I talked to a woman online over a year ago who was married twice. Both her husbands were abusive.
She now says she is single, she prefers being single, and has zero desire to re-marry.
Everyone is different and has different preferences in areas of life such as this, and that is okay.
Not everyone has to be identical to you and view relationships as you do.
Not everyone has to want and desire the same things that you do.
You said,
That again is merely your opinion.
I know women who have been married to, or have lived with boyfriends, who were serial cheaters, abusive, etc, and these women would not say it was “totally worth it” to be with those men.
If you are happy being married, great, I don’t care.
It’s almost as though you think you have something to prove to me. Very weird.
You can get off my blog now.
Or we can do this the hard way, and I can block your screen name, e-mail address, and IP number.
It was not my intent to offend you, i was just stating my opinion on marriage. You can take it or leave it.
I actually have read some of your blogs, but not all of them, just so you know I actually AGREE with you A LOT more then disagree.
(by the way i don’t put a heart on my husband last name, when i dot the eye),
Both of our views on relationships are based on our experiences, i am sorry you had a bad experience. i am sorry that your guy was a selfish bastard, but their are people out there that have happy and satisfying relationships.
I am not trying to prove anything.
No reason for you to lash out at me in anger, you sound bitter to me
response to Gladys Wisener
Gladys, you sound bitter to me – I guess that marriage of yours isn’t keeping you quite as happy and fulfilled as you first let on?
I also get that vibe because you enjoy needling single women on their blogs about singleness. That’s pretty sad.
You gave me plenty of reason to “lash out at you” in anger. Even in this last post of yours.
Oh gawd, the “bitter” thing.
That’s yet another stereotype of single women (and sometimes single men) that gets thrown out at us quite often if we don’t act absolutely perky and happy to be insulted in person or on our own blogs, especially if the topic of singleness or marriage comes up.
I don’t sound “bitter” – I sound angry.
Understandably angry because you assumed some shit about me that is not true, and you sounded like a “know it all,” very dismissive, and presumptuous.
Post on my blog:
(Link): Unmarried / Single People Are Supposedly Bitter & Have Too Much Baggage – and that’s why you’re still single they say
While you’re at it, also wrongly assume that I own 63 cats and never shave my arm pits and legs, too.
Please make more yet even insulting assumptions about me (and based on my marital status, too) and then accuse me of being “bitter” for being offended by your assumptions (that was sarcasm).
You said,
And I never said otherwise.
You seem to hold some very odd assumptions about me… like you start out wrongly attributing motives to me that I blogged about this happily single 105 year old woman because it’s supposedly my way of feeling better about singleness? (Which is not why I posted a copy of the article.)
By the way – there are some single adults who are happy being single.
Sometimes such singles call themselves “single by choice.”
Bella DePaulo blogs over at Psychology Today about Adult Singleness, and she never, ever wanted to be married – she prefers being single.
There are Christian single adults who have zero desire to marry.
Not everyone wants to get married – and that’s fine.
You have women who have tried marriage, then divorced, and feel happier single and don’t want to re-marry, and that’s great, too.
Then you have others who’d like to get married, but not everyone gets a fantastic, great relationship.
Great, compatible partners do not fall off trees or magically appear on one’s doorstep.
A person can join many dating web sites, attend many singles functions at churches, and it’s not easy meeting quality, normal single adults past one’s 20s.
That’s just a fact of life.
And if you want to marry and it does not happen for you, you eventually learn to get by and do okay without it.
You seem to be operating under the very false illusion that being single past the age of 40 is the WORST thing that can happen to a woman and/or that marriage is THE BEST thing and can cure anyone of everything and any thing, which are both falsehoods.
If your husband drops dead tomorrow of a heart attack, I don’t get the impression you will cope well with the loss. You sound too wrapped up in your marriage, as though you invest far too much emotionally into it.
And…
There are plenty of married women in marriages who feel unloved by their husbands, and they feel lonely.
Plenty of wives are in sexless marriages, too, and that bothers them, because they would like to be having sex with a spouse.
I have many blog posts about both those topics, with links to articles with interviews by married women who talk about how lonely or terrible their marriages are for whatever reasons.
It’s better to be single than in a relationship with a selfish or abusive person.
I’d rather be single than married to a guy with dementia, a guy who has affairs, or still engaged to my selfish, financially irresponsible, idiot of an ex.
The secular and Christian culture push the false notion that people are not “whole’ unless they marry, that one needs a romantic partner to “complete” them or make them happy, which is all a bunch of bull shit.
I’m really not interested in conversing with you further and hope you leave no more posts to this blog. Thanks.
I have a question for you, i hope you don’t take it the wrong way. I think if i was still single ( i am 42) i would be quiet upset and unhappy about it.
For the record i am married and very happily married for 21 years, it is not perfect all the time, but it is much better then being single, i will not lie to you. Being with someone you love and loves you back is one of the greatest experiences of this life, i am being honest, i would not trade it for anything.
Having said that, i see you posted about a 105 year old virgen. Are you trying to comfort yourself in being single and not having sex , by posting this?
I know that sometimes when we desire something and it gets denied to us, we can go into sour grapes mode and try to convince ourselves that what we want is really not worth it.
Again i hope you are not offended, i think that if i were you, i probably would be doing the same thing.
@ Gladys Wisener.
You said,
Huh. Well that is a very odd assumption.
No, that is not why I posted the link to the article.
I posted the article because it pertains to virginity / singleness, a topic(s) which I regularly post about on this blog, and I also found it amusing that the woman feels life is better lived without men because they are, she said, a “hassle.”
My view on this subject:
It’s better to be single than marry someone just to avoid being single or to marry any guy who comes along (settling)…
Because you end up resenting your partner, you don’t get your needs met, it makes for a lousy marriage, and you end up divorcing.
If you’re married, you or your spouse will die eventually, leaving one of you single once more.
Some marriages end in divorce, leaving the married individual single once more.
See also:
(Link): World’s Oldest Woman Said Secret to Long Life is Staying Single
(Link): Don’t Give Up On Your Dreams
(Link): Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely
(Link): Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife – Married People Will Be Single Again
(Link): 105-year-old virgin says no sex the key to long life
(Link): My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, and It Led to Our Divorce by Jane Doe
(Link): Widower to Advice Columnist Talks about Being Stereotyped by Married Couples or Ignored by Other Marrieds Since His Wife has Died
(Link): Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh
(Link): Joanne The Widow Lady Wants to Know Why God Didn’t Answer Her Prayer to Keep her Husband With Her
(Link): Widow Lived With Husband’s Corpse For 9 Months, Says He Wanted To Be Eaten By Birds
(Link): Grieving widow doesn’t need to start dating in order to heal
(Link): Husband-Hunting is the Worst Part of a Christian Upbringing – Christianity Made Me Obsessed with Finding a Husband – by B. Ramos
(Link):