‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’
I’m not exactly anti-marriage or anti-family, but.
However. I am tired of how other conservatives or how 99% of Christians “hype” marriage, children, and “the family” to the point they act as though everyone should get married and have a kid, and if you do not, they suggest or state point blank, that you have failed culture and society, and you’re a big Loser. Christians especially behave as though getting married and having a kid is a commandment from God (it is not).
Being married and being a mother did not bring happiness to this lady.
And notice how this lady says that she and her husband didn’t have sex for a year.
I bring that up, because one teaching I heard or saw a lot in Christian sermons or books when I was a kid growing up is that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that God will reward you and your spouse with regular, “mind blowing” sex. The reality is, a person can remain chaste but then end up having lousy sex in marriage, or none at all.
(Link): BABY BLUES – We rowed [argued] and hadn’t had sex for a year due to the strain of starting a family… I almost drove my car off a bridge
Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter’s life
By Hayley Richardson
HAVING a baby can feel like the icing on the cake for some couples but for others the strain of starting a family can push them to breaking point.
Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter Autumn’s life and didn’t have sex for a year.
During one heated row, Aimee threw her wedding ring at Davin, calling him a useless husband, and Davin admitted things got so bad he considered driving off a bridge.
Fabulous Digital has teamed up with Relate, which provides relationships counselling nationwide, to help ordinary couples overcome some of the most common marriage problems, including infidelity, excessive arguing, an unfulfilling sex life and having kids.
More couples filed for divorce yesterday – now dubbed D-Day – than at any other time of year.
Here Aimee and Davin, from Hampshire, reveal how they went from being on the verge of splitting up to getting their marriage back on track…
“There were many moments in the first three years of our daughter’s life when the tension was so awful between us that I considered taking the car keys and driving off a bridge,” says Davin, an electrical engineer for the NHS.
“Our daughter didn’t sleep and had colic and reflux, and Aimee’s hormones were all over the place. I felt pushed out and all we did was get nasty with one another.
“During one blazing row, Aimee threw her wedding and engagement rings at me and told me I was a useless husband and dad, which I really took to heart because I didn’t fully understand the issues at the time.”
Aimee, who’s currently on maternity leave from her insurance job looking after their three-month-old son, Ashton, says: “I wasn’t ready for the exhaustion, the trauma, the hormones, or how I felt about myself after giving birth.
“Suddenly I was a mummy, but Davin still wanted a wife too. But I didn’t have the desire or inclination for intimacy.
“For three years all we did was row. We couldn’t afford to live apart but we didn’t want to live together either.
…Davin and Aimee married in May 2011 after dating for three years and were blissfully happy. They had Autumn in January 2013 – and almost immediately their marriage imploded.
They’d been so unprepared for the massive impact that having a baby would have that they reached a stage where they couldn’t stand being near each other.
But they’re not alone. According to research by Relate, half of couples with young kids argue “frequently” with their partner, compared to just 39 per cent of those without kids.
(Link): ‘It’s a break from the kids’: Why parents cheat more than childless couples
(Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)
(Link): The Case Against ‘Saving’ Marriage – Married Nuclear Families Are the Gold Standard Against Which We Are All Judged. by N. Rodgers
(Link): Singles Advocate DePaulo Responds to Right Wing, Conservative Critics of Singlehood, Who Blame Singles For Breakdown of The Family
(Link): Time to End ‘Nuclear Family Privilege’ – Let’s Overcome Irrational Nostalgia for a Version of Family Long Since Transformed
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible
(Link): Creepy: ‘Barna: [Christian] Women Value Family Over Faith’
(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin
(Link): Hey, Justice Kennedy: You don’t need to shame singles to uphold marriage by L. Bonos
(Link): The Changing American Family (article)
(Link): Christianity Should Be Able To Work Regardless of Culture, Childed or Marital Status / Article: Unlike in the 1950s, there is no ‘typical’ U.S. family today by B. Shulte
(Link): Where have all the TV dogs gone? – indication of the decline of the nuclear family
(Link): Do Married Couples Slight Their Family Members as Well as Their Friends? / “Greedy Marriages”
(Link): Placing One’s Marriage Ahead of The Church – Preacher Used Prioritizing and Rebuilding His Marriage as Rationale for Bullying His Church Members