I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

(Link): I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

Excerpts:

“Bachelor” contestant Ashley Iaconetti on why a girl can act sexy without, you know, having sex.

Apparently I can’t be a virgin because I have my belly-button pierced. Or because I live in New Jersey. Or because I kissed Chris Soules “like that” during my appearance on The Bachelor. During my time on the show, social media was flooded with absurd judgements and arguments as to why I couldn’t possibly be a virgin.

It’s been odd and frustrating to see people debate the status of my hymen (!) on Twitter — seriously, people, that’s what you’re using your time tweeting about? And many people don’t just doubt my claim, but flat-out declare I’m a liar.

….I believe a girl can be sexy without having sex.

It’s difficult dating in today’s hookup culture as a virgin. Women fought for this type of sexual freedom, and I think it’s awesome women can be a Samantha or a Charlotte. I respect both types of sexual expression.

However, because of it, there aren’t many Gen-Y guys who are willing to give up casual sex or date a girl who will make them hold out. While some men find it a respectable quality in a woman, sure, it’s not exactly the most alluring feature for many others.

In my experience, it either intrigues men and taps into their competitive nature, or it will completely repel them — they see virginity as something to chase and conquer, or they see your sexless company pointless.

…I’m not preaching virginity, nor am I obsessed with it. However, I expected to be perceived as a good role model for my choices, not a slutty liar.

Sadly, in today’s society, not only is there slut-shaming, but there is also virgin-shaming. And I’ve dealt with both!

One of the many lessons I’ve learned from my Bachelor experience is that people will try to simplify you. They’ll judge and stereotype you because it requires less work than getting you know you as an individual.

The best thing you can do in response is to be unapologetically yourself and never fit into one of society’s boring boxes.


Related Posts:

(Link): ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem? by L. Bonos / Lily News

(Link): ‘Bachelorette’ Star Shamed For His Virginity Defends Himself

(Link):  I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link): Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession –  by K. Jullian – via The Atlantic

(Link): Study (from 2016) Claims Pre-Marital Virginity is Now ‘Antiquated’ – Is Virginity No Longer Virtuous?
(Link): Living Myths About Virginity (via The Atlantic)(Link): On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)
(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)

(Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)

(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link): An Open Letter to Male Virgins by A. Broadway

(Link): People Were Asked to Guess A Virgin From A Group Of Strangers. The Results Were Unexpected

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Link): Annie Murphy’s Sex and Relationship Column Gives Some Fantastic Advice About “Losing Your Virginity” by Princess Weekes

(Link): CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

(Link): An Example of Mocking Adult Virginity Via Twitter (Virginity Used As Insult)

(Link):  The Many Reasons That People Are Having Less Sex (2017 article via BBC News)

(Link): (Article) Young People in Japan Have Stopped Having Sex – sekkusu shinai shokogun – Celibacy Syndrome

(Link): Why Aren’t Millennials Having Sex Anymore? via Relevant Magazine

(Link):   More Than 40 Per Cent of Japan’s Adult Singles are Virgins, Says Study

(Link):   Young, Attractive, and Totally Not Into Having Sex by K McGowan

(Link):  Teens Too Busy Playing Video Games to Have Sex

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