My Experience as a Dating App Virgin
by Ariana Yaptangco
FEB 11, 2019
…. So I had decided to do the unthinkable: I, a dating app virgin, joined all the major dating apps with the goal of going on one date per app to help me get over my dating fears. I agreed to go out with anyone who asked and asked out anyone I was interested in.
Over the course of 4 weeks, I matched with 206 men, texted 21 of them, and made plans with 15 of them.
Here’s what happened. Spoiler alert: I’m still single.
The App: Coffee Meets Bagel
CMB relies on a system of “coffee beans” in exchange for matches and “flowers,” sent by admirers referred to as “bagels.” The concept is cute, albeit unnecessary and kind of confusing. You can see which bagels like you in a scroll-down list of profiles labeled, “he likes you, he likes you, he likes you.” The first time I use it I feel flattered, and also slightly attacked.
Date #1: Sam*
A handsome dental student from LA, Sam chooses a bar in the East Village for our date, but it turns out to be too crowded, so we’re forced to relocate. I settle in with a glass of wine and find out he’s driven, smart, and wants to be a dental influencer (!!!) on Instagram (in hindsight, this explains a lot.) As he continues to extol on the business potential of social media to me, a social media editor, he suddenly gets up from his side of the table and plops down next to me. Awkward! He asks how tall I am and it leads to a conversation on average heights in America.
“Do you know the average penis size?” he asks casually.
“I don’t. Do you?” I fire back.
“No, I don’t.”
Moments later, he starts talking politics. “It doesn’t matter to me if Obama is president or Trump is president,” he declares. I decline his subsequent invitation to go to another “dancing bar” a couple blocks away.
I don’t hear from Sam in the days after our date and I’m relieved. I recount the whole experience to ELLE.com’s senior editor Estelle Tang, who relishes in my bad date story. “At least it can’t get any worse,” I tell her. Her eyes widen. “Oh, Ariana. It can get get so, so much worse.”
Over a week later, he messages me and I pull my first ghost.
You can read the rest of that (Link): here