A Valentine’s Ode to Friendship by P. Jane
Hunh. This article did not turn out to be as good as I was expecting it to be.
Marriage does not bring meaning or happiness to people’s lives.
If you are counting on a spouse to meet all your needs (emotional and otherwise) think again, because I have plenty of examples on my blog of women who divorced abusive, insensitive, or controlling men, or women who are in lonely marriages, where their husband puts watching football or his job before spending time with his wife.
I have an article on my blog about a woman whose husband developed early dementia in his early 40s, which she said left her feeling like a widow, because his mental faculties degraded to the point he was like a big slobbering baby. She became lonely in her marriage.
That is why married people need to stop fixating so much on their spouse and try to make platonic friends outside the marriage.
(Link): A Valentine’s Ode to Friendship
I wasn’t ready to date after my husband died suddenly a year ago. I felt heartsick. But I also felt lonely. I had spent the previous 30 years writing alone in a room, which was great when I had a family who magically materialized at the end of the day.
But now, with my husband gone and my daughter off to college, writing alone in a room all day no longer seemed appealing. I needed someone to talk and laugh with, face to face.
Or F2F, as they say on the dating sites.
Online dating sites were offering Valentine’s specials:
“Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love and friendship. Join now and get two months free!”
….That sounded good, so I signed up, choosing “female seeking male” from the dropdown menu. I added that I was looking only for friendship.
Shortly after I filled out my profile, I got an alert, “Robert flirted with you! Flirt back!”
The flirt-alert, I discovered, is a button. It provides no opportunity for nuances or fine-tuning. You either flirt or you don’t.
…At this point, it finally got through to me that men on dating sites are looking for romance, especially around Valentine’s Day.
…I didn’t break any rules either, and I found two new women friends who are happy just to be friends, just in time for Valentine’s Day.