Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier

Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier

As to the part of this article that talks about how to be happy as a single adult (which I did NOT excerpt on my blog, but which does appear in the article): please take the section that talks about meeting other people’s needs with a grain of salt.

Christian women in particular are already subjected, quite frequently, to deeply codependent messages passed off as “biblical” from churches, Christian blogs, books, and pastors (Link): that neglecting one’s own needs to meet the needs of others is godly, wonderful, loving, meaningful, and will bring one joy.

However, this is not always the case.

You can actually suffer burn out, resentment, and exhaustion if you never get your own needs met – even while you may be running around doing charity work, helping your neighbor, and meeting other people’s needs.

So where this article advises you to volunteer, help other people, etc, to keep your happiness levels up, take that advice with a grain of salt and only practice it in moderation, if at all.

(Link): Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier

Excerpts:

July 29, 2020

New research into happiness and well-being reveals what really matters.

…The upshot of the study [from Michigan State University] was that “…staking your happiness on being married isn’t a sure bet,” as co-author William Chopik reported.

That is, the lifelong singles and those who had varied relationship histories didn’t differ in their level of happiness.

Moreover, the lifelong married individuals showed only marginally higher levels of happiness. The research was published in the Journal of Positive Psychology.

What to make of this? The empirical data confirms the obvious: Lifelong happiness – a sense of well-being and fulfillment – is more rooted in your overall life, not just whether you’re in a relationship or not.

And even for those in long-term “one marriage” relationships – which is less representative of current demographics – one always finds couples who stay married despite a sense of deadness, flatness, or outright anger toward each other.

Clinically, we often see this in the lives of couples who seek therapy.

(Link): As Chopik pointed out, “People can certainly be in unhappy relationships, and single people derive enjoyment from all sorts of other parts of their lives. If the goal is to find happiness, it seems a little silly that people put so much stock in being partnered.”

No kidding: If you’re not living a life that generates happiness and fulfillment to begin with, then being in a relationship in itself won’t change that. It could even make things worse.

Read the rest of that article (Link): here

"If you’re not living a life that generates happiness and fulfillment to begin with, then being in a relationship in itself won’t change that. It could even make things worse," declares @douglaslabier https://t.co/aLicx6CRll

— Psychology Today (@PsychToday) August 2, 2020

---

Related Posts:

(Link): Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims

(Link): Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest

(Link): Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change

(Link):  Convicted Sex Offender on the Run for 20 Years Found Living New Life as Pastor in Alabama

(Link): Oh geeze. Another married Christian condescendingly patting single Christians on the head, reassuring them they are dandy as-is, and to remember they have the fictional Gift of Singleness

(Link):  Codependence Is Not Oneness: What Christians Get Wrong About Relationships

(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf

(Link): Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone

(Link):  Adult Singles Do Not Need A Marital Partner to Be Whole or Complete

(Link): Research: Being Single [or Fear of Being Single] is a Meaningful Predictor of Settling for Less in Relationships 

(Link): Self-Serving Editorial at CT: Married With Kids Lady Says ‘Why Christians Need to Embrace a Changing Definition of Family’ – But She Wants Free Baby Sitting

(Link): The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms

(Link):   Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

(Link): Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely

(Link): Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It

(Link):  Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment by N. Brooke

(Link): No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals

(Link): Widower to Advice Columnist Talks about Being Stereotyped by Married Couples or Ignored by Other Marrieds Since His Wife has Died

(Link): Widows and Childless and Childfree Have Better Well Being Than Married Couples and Parents says new study

(Link): Bride Battling Cancer Dies 18 Hours After Exchanging Vows

(Link): Christian Couple Dies in Helicopter Crash Hours After ‘Fairytale’ Wedding

(Link): What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse – What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron 

(Link): When You’re Married and Lonely by J. Slattery

(Link): Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

(Link): Critique of: Why Single Men May Not Be Having the Most Fun by W. B. Wilcox (who tends to be a marriage idolater and anti-singles bigot)

(Link): The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links

(Link): Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

(Link):  When You Are Lonely In Your Marriage by K. Parsons

(Link):  The Selfish, Lazy Husband Who Kept Blowing Off His Stressed Wife to Go on World War 2 Reenactments – Male Entitlement in Relationships: Why Women Divorce Men – and Churches and Culture Support This Male Entitlement

(Link): My Marriage Broke Down Around Age 30 — And So Did Most of My Friends’ Relationships by E. Woods

(Link): Another Christianity Today Magazine Editorial Expects Single Women To Meet the Needs of Married Women – Christians Never Ask the Reverse

(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by P. Chin

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): Southern Baptist Al Mohler Intimates That Childless And Childfree Adults Are  Not Human (2019) – and He Thinks This is a Good and Biblical Worldview

(Link):  Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link):  You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies

(Link):  Widower to Advice Columnist Talks about Being Stereotyped by Married Couples or Ignored by Other Marrieds Since His Wife has Died

(Link):  Asking Too Much Of Marriage – Married People are Lonely