Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier
As to the part of this article that talks about how to be happy as a single adult (which I did NOT excerpt on my blog, but which does appear in the article): please take the section that talks about meeting other people’s needs with a grain of salt.
Christian women in particular are already subjected, quite frequently, to deeply codependent messages passed off as “biblical” from churches, Christian blogs, books, and pastors (Link): that neglecting one’s own needs to meet the needs of others is godly, wonderful, loving, meaningful, and will bring one joy.
However, this is not always the case.
You can actually suffer burn out, resentment, and exhaustion if you never get your own needs met – even while you may be running around doing charity work, helping your neighbor, and meeting other people’s needs.
So where this article advises you to volunteer, help other people, etc, to keep your happiness levels up, take that advice with a grain of salt and only practice it in moderation, if at all.
(Link): Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier
Excerpts:
July 29, 2020
New research into happiness and well-being reveals what really matters.
…The upshot of the study [from Michigan State University] was that “…staking your happiness on being married isn’t a sure bet,” as co-author William Chopik reported.
That is, the lifelong singles and those who had varied relationship histories didn’t differ in their level of happiness.
Moreover, the lifelong married individuals showed only marginally higher levels of happiness. The research was published in the Journal of Positive Psychology.
What to make of this? The empirical data confirms the obvious: Lifelong happiness – a sense of well-being and fulfillment – is more rooted in your overall life, not just whether you’re in a relationship or not.
And even for those in long-term “one marriage” relationships – which is less representative of current demographics – one always finds couples who stay married despite a sense of deadness, flatness, or outright anger toward each other.
Clinically, we often see this in the lives of couples who seek therapy.
(Link): As Chopik pointed out, “People can certainly be in unhappy relationships, and single people derive enjoyment from all sorts of other parts of their lives. If the goal is to find happiness, it seems a little silly that people put so much stock in being partnered.”
No kidding: If you’re not living a life that generates happiness and fulfillment to begin with, then being in a relationship in itself won’t change that. It could even make things worse.
Read the rest of that article (Link): here
Related Posts:
(Link): Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims
(Link): Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest
(Link): Codependence Is Not Oneness: What Christians Get Wrong About Relationships
(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf
(Link): Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone
(Link): Adult Singles Do Not Need A Marital Partner to Be Whole or Complete
(Link): The “Parenting Happiness Gap” Is Real, New Research Confirms
(Link): Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo
(Link): Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It
(Link): Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment by N. Brooke
(Link): Bride Battling Cancer Dies 18 Hours After Exchanging Vows
(Link): Christian Couple Dies in Helicopter Crash Hours After ‘Fairytale’ Wedding
(Link): When You’re Married and Lonely by J. Slattery
(Link): The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links
(Link): When You Are Lonely In Your Marriage by K. Parsons
(Link): My Marriage Broke Down Around Age 30 — And So Did Most of My Friends’ Relationships by E. Woods
(Link): You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies
(Link): Asking Too Much Of Marriage – Married People are Lonely
