The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men & That Women Are Oblivious To, or Don’t Care About, What Men Look Like
I am an ex-complementarian (yes, I am, read more about that (Link): here if you so choose).
I’m very aware of what complementarians teach and believe on many topics.
Many complementarians wrongly believe that women lack sexual drive, an interest in sex, and that women don’t care about what men look like.
Complementarians operate in this very strange worldview that only men are “visual.” The Bible does not teach that God created men to be visual or to have more of a sex drive than women, but Complementarians act as though it does. These views permeate their blogs, pod casts, books, sermons, and so on.
So, under complementarian teachings, women are often shamed and scolded about their physical appearance.
I’ve seldom heard complementarians tell male listeners or male readers to join a gym, work out, and get in shape so that they will be physically and visually appealing to women.
(Edit, Side Note:
Complementarians seem to assume that all single women are only interested in a man’s bank account. No, we’re not.
But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry a guy who has a steady job, steady pay check, who is financially responsible.
I was engaged to a man who took financial advantage of me for years. Most women I know were dating or married to men who refused to get jobs, so the women had to earn a pay check.
These women’s husbands would sit about the house all day in their underpants playing Playstation video games or watching sports.
I’ve never personally run across too many female gold diggers in my time, only one – the rest of the gold diggers I’ve met or known personally have been MEN who were leeching off their wives or girlfriends.
At any rate, complementarians wrongly assume that all women are obsessed with looking for a husband or boyfriend with a very large income or expensive sports car, so they are always telling us women to “stop judging a man by his income or what kind of car he drives, and instead, focus on how much he loves Jesus.”
Well, I hate to break it to you complementarians, but some us ladies are busy checking out if the guy has great abs and muscular arms or not – we aren’t as obsessed with his credit score, car, or savings and investments as you may assume.)
No, the sexist complementarians reserve that rhetoric for women.
But women do notice and care about what men look like, as I’ve blogged about years ago in a series of posts, such as (Link): this one or (Link): this one.
(Even the (Link): Bible mentions women noticing hot looking men and getting turned on by them, but per usual, complementarians ignore or do not mention parts of the Bible that don’t fit their backwards views.)
All of that brings me to this…
The other day, I was scrolling down my Twitter page and saw this headline from The Daily Mail:
Here are some excerpts:
A 500lb OnlyFans influencer who found a lucrative niche within the fat fetish community has revealed he has to eat around 10,000 calories a day to maintain his ‘ball gut’ and keep his followers entertained.
Bryan, who goes by the name Gainer Bull, began gaining weight more than 20 years ago and started ‘bulking up’ his stomach.
The 44-year-old, from Palm Beach, Florida, explained his weight gain turned sexual as a teenager as he began to realize being bigger added to his arousal.
…He also has a significant following on Instragram, where he shares regular updates on the progress of his ever-growing stomach to more than 7,700 followers.
—- end —-
The Daily Mail provided a few photographs of this guy, such as (Link): this one or (Link): this one.
You can see, on bottom left a photo – a screen cap I took from the Daily Mail’s site – of this guy (if that photo is ever removed, for whatever the reason, again, you can view it (Link): here).
There he is with all the hair and the nasty underwear.
There might be a minority of women out there who are into weird fetishes and so on who would squeal in delight that this guy turns them on.
But I feel safe saying for the rest – majority of – the hetero lady population this guy looks repulsive and disgusting.
It’s not even just the body fat (though that is a problem), it’s the hair every where. It’s that he’s posing (Link): in one shot in underwear that appears to have some stains on it.
To reiterate, other than perhaps a tiny fringe group of sicko, idiot freaks out there with their weirdo fetishes, nobody is going to find this guy physically attractive and want to date him.
So, in light of examples of men like hairy, lardo underwear Erotic Eater, may I just suggest at this point that the complementarians – usually it’s men, but occasionally I see their lady accomplices, such as the Lori Alexanders of the complementarian world – stop lecturing girls and women to spend a lot of time and energy on their appearance, to stop telling women or girls to only look at a man’s spirituality or character – and NOT consider other things, like his earning potential?
These complementarians keep telling us ladies out of one side of their mouths that God cares about our hearts and inner character, so that we shouldn’t fret so much over dieting, staying thin, or looking eternally 25 years old, but, then…
On the other hand, the Christian gender complementarians turn around and lecture us women and girls that God supposedly designed all men to be “visually oriented” (in spite of the fact this is not taught in the Bible), and, so, if we want dates or a husband, we need to start starving ourselves immediately, and always fix our hair up fancy and always wear make-up.
And to the complementarians: looks do matter to women too.
Most of us women don’t want to date or marry a schlubby, gross, hirsute guy whose belly looks like a huge basketball has been stuck under the skin, who sits about naked except for a pair of stained underwear.
You complementarians either need to stop issuing dating and marriage advice, or, if you insist on giving it, be sure to tell men to hit the gym, count calories, stay in shape, and don’t just give that sort of advice to women – because most women don’t want to date or marry uglies or fatties, either.
No amount of inner beauty and devotion to Jesus can compensate or excuse a lardo belly that overhangs a belt (and vice versa: I’ve known people who are physically attractive but who are jerks; a pretty exterior does not make up for lousy character).
Look at those photos of that male “erotic eater,” complementarians, and tell me with a straight face that you think that is acceptable, that it’s okay for a man, or men generally, to look that way – and to look that way intentionally.
Would any of you male complementarians, if you were an unmarried, hetero woman, want to date obese, hairy, stain-on-his-underpants “Erotic Eaters” who posts semi- nude photos of themselves to social media? No, you would not.
Would you male complementarians want any of your daughters, sisters, or nieces to date this guy, or ones like him? No, most of you would not.
Yet, you have the audacity to shame or pressure women, ones whom you are not related to, who’d like to date or marry, to give a freak show like that a chance at romance.
This guy is intentionally trying to look fat. He is eating 10,000 calories or more a day to get obese on purpose.
Tell me with a straight face, complementarians, that you sincerely, honest-to-God think any and all women who’d like to have a boyfriend or to get married should over-look, deny, or ignore this man’s too-much- body fat, grotesquely shaped stomach, and his schlubby, unkempt appearance, to be willing to date or marry him.
Tell me with a straight face, complementarians, after you have viewed photos of this guy, that you think women should look past the grossness of this guy’s appearance to only consider his inner qualities and his devotion to Jesus?
If you complementarian Christians think any and all women should be just fine and dandy trying to ignore his looks to date or marry him anyway, you are living in a deluded and naive fantasy world.
(By the same token: single women out there who complain they’re 40, 60 or more pounds overweight, and they are single but desire to date or to marry: you need to lose the weight.
Most men are not likely to want to date or marry someone that large. And it’s not because God designed men to “be more visual,” it’s just how most men and women are.
I accepted this fact of life years ago, which is why I regularly watch my caloric intake, and I go on runs and bike rides five times a week.
Of course, I also exercise for the mental health benefits as well, and I don’t want to develop diabetes or heart problems.)
But women DO CARE about what men look like, complementarians.
The complementarians who dole out dating or marriage advice live in a very naive world when they only lecture women to stay sexy looking.
Complementarians need to be teaching the men to stay sexy looking.
Or, ideally, complementarians would cease and desist with dispensing ANY dating or marriage advice.
After seeing really repulsive looking men like the one featured here in my post, complementarians are in NO POSITION to lecture women (or girls), or to pressure women and girls, to expend a lot of time and energy on their appearance, or to argue that God created men to be “visually oriented.”
Most women have eye-sight. Most of us are not and cannot over-look a lot of hair all over a man’s body (so disgusting), and we cannot help but notice that the man’s gut is over-hanging his belt buckle, and it’s a turn-off for most of us.
Women are also “visual.”
Women are also visual and notice fat, baldness, and so on.
This Erotic Eater guy is proof enough that complementarians are out of place, sexist, and unfair to neglect teaching men to stay trim, but are routinely lecturing women to stay thin.
(this post has been edited several times to add more comments)
Related Posts:
(Link): Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom
(Link): Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1
(Link): Portly pastors make up more than a third of American clergy
(Link): Christians Who Marry Non-Believers Must Be Ex-Communicated, Says John Piper
(Link): Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein
(Link): Ask Amy: Wife Says She Is Turned Off By Husband’s Fat Body and Muffin Top
(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality
(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]
(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”
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