Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)

Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships by A. Kumar (2020)

I am not surprised. This is actually similar to another survey I saw a few years ago, and I may have covered it here on this blog (I don’t remember).

It’s disappointing, frustrating and bewildering how so many Christians are not only living in sexual sin – and sex prior to marriage is in fact sin – but that they think it’s just fine. 

The Bible does speak against fornication, and even if it is not or was not mentioned specifically (as some like to argue), it was still the societal expectation – it didn’t need to be stated specifically in the Bible, since it was already understood in the culture the Bible came from, that God was not okay with people having sex outside of marriage.

There are not, that I can recall, any Bible verses specifically condemning infanticide, child molesting, or bank robbing, but that does not mean that the Bible is okay with any of those behaviors.

I think a case can be made against those behaviors – and against fornication – by pointing to other biblical principles.

In light of the fact that Christians (Link): don’t even make a pretense at living by sexual ethics as taught in the Bible, or in defending them these days, I really do not need to see another Christian woman on another blog or on social media saying how harmful “purity culture” teachings were to women (depending on the context of their arguments. Are some facets of Christian purity culture sexist against women? Yes – but that does not negate that fornication remains a sin).

The pendulum regarding sexual behavior and attitudes held by Christians has now swung too far in the other direction – to pure hedonism and “don’t judge me, I’ll have sex with whomever and whenever I want to.”

And folks like me who actually “walked the walk” and did not have sex outside of marriage are shamed for it, or insulted for it, by Christians and conservative groups (see more about that under “Related Posts” at the bottom of this page).

(Link): Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)

Excerpts:

by A. Kumar
September 2020

Half of Christians say sex between consenting adults who are in a committed dating relationship is sometimes or always acceptable, and over half — with the exception of evangelical Protestants — say casual sex is OK, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center.

Some 62% of Catholics, 56% of Protestants in the historically black tradition, 54% of mainline Protestants, and 36% of evangelical Protestants say casual sex between consenting adults is sometimes or always acceptable, according to the survey.

Among those who are religiously unaffiliated, as many as 84% say

casual sex is sometimes or always acceptable, Pew adds. And the percentage increases to 94% among atheists and 95% among agnostics.

Pew clarifies that the survey “did not ask respondents if they themselves would engage in any of these practices. Instead, the questions asked if they found the practices acceptable ‘regardless of whether you would do it yourself.’”

The study notes that the gap between Christians and the unaffiliated is not very big when it comes to sex between unmarried adults who are in a committed relationship.

Fifty-seven percent of Christians say it’s sometimes or always acceptable. “That includes 67% of mainline Protestants, 64% of Catholics, 57% of Protestants in the historically black tradition, and 46% of evangelical Protestants.”

In comparison, nearly 80% of religiously unaffiliated Americans say sex between unmarried adults in a committed relationship is sometimes or always acceptable.


Related Posts:

(Link): Is Premarital Sex a Sin? Bible Scholars Respond

(Link): Poster Chapmaned24 Blocked On This Blog: He’s a Celibacy-Shaming Apologist of Pastoral Sexual Predators

(Link): Christian Preacher Admits He Won’t Preach About Sexuality For Fear It May Offend Sexual Sinners

(Link): Pastor Quits Church To Become a Stripper and Now Sells X-Rated Pics and Videos Online

(Link):  Some Researchers Argue that Shame Should Be Used to Treat Sexual Compulsions

(Link): After Pastor’s Son Comes Out as Homosexual, Southern Baptist Church Breaks With Denomination on Homosexuality – Once More Christians Allow Their Feelings To Cancel Out What God Says In The Bible on Sexual Morality – Christians worship feelings now, not God

(Link): Annie Murphy’s Sex and Relationship Column Gives Some Fantastic Advice About “Losing Your Virginity” by Princess Weekes

(Link): Slut Shaming and Virgin Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?

(Link):  The Christian, Liberal, and Feminist Tendency to Intellectualize Away the Meaningfulness of Female Virginity; Also: Are Engagement Rings Sexist? Liberal Vs Conservatives Sound Off

(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link): Slut-Shaming Is Bad—But The Overreaction Against It Also Hurts Women by J. Doverspike

(Link):   Stop Pretending Sex Never Hurts, By D.C. McAllister

(Link):   Sex, God, and a Generation That Can’t Tell the Difference –  Millennials Are the “Judge the Prude” Generation on Sexual Morality (from the Millennial Evangelical blog)

(Link):  Sometimes Fornication Can Impact Another Relationship Later – One Example

(Link): Why Are Christian Guys Silent About Abstinence? by C. Hill

(Link):   9 Reasons ‘Hookup Culture’ Hurts Boys Too

(Link):  On Tinder, Off Sex – One Woman’s Story About Secondary Abstinence

(Link): Single Christian Women Feel Pressured to Fornicate In Dating / other topics (Link Dump)

(Link): Marcotte (secular, leftwing feminist) on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

(Link): The itchy truth about Tinder: 750,000 people on the dating app are infested with pubic lice, scientist warns

(Link): Young Men Turning to Viagra, Cialis Due to Porn-Induced Impotence; 26-Y-O Talks of Porn Addiction That Started at 12

(Link): The Myth of Safe Sex by D. Foley

(Link):  Abstinence Groups: New Sex-Ed Study Misses Point of Urging Teens to Wait

(Link): A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

(Link):  Teenagers Given Condoms at School Likelier to Become Pregnant and Get STDs / STIs: 2016 Study

(Link):  CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

(Link): Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

(Link): Living Myths About Virginity (via The Atlantic)

(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)

(Link): On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)

(Link):   Why are young feminists so clueless about sex? by M. Wente

(Link): We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman

(Link):  Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait

(Link): ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem?

(Link):  Abortion Widens the Gender Gap and Exploits Women – editorial via the Public Discourse Site

(Link): Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

(Link):  Some Researchers Argue that Shame Should Be Used to Treat Sexual Compulsions

(Link): Annie Murphy’s Sex and Relationship Column Gives Some Fantastic Advice About “Losing Your Virginity” by Princess Weekes

(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link): Slut-Shaming Is Bad—But The Overreaction Against It Also Hurts Women by J. Doverspike

(Link):  Abstinence Groups: New Sex-Ed Study Misses Point of Urging Teens to Wait

(Link): A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

(Link):  Teenagers Given Condoms at School Likelier to Become Pregnant and Get STDs / STIs: 2016 Study

3 thoughts on “Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)”

  1. Yes, some churches certainly are very judgemental – and so are some cultures. I have lived in countries, where a divorced Christian was not considered an eligible partner for marriage, or for ministry leadership.

    My own Dad was married before he met my Mom, and now, they are very happy together.. but he has suffered from th stigma of unwanted divorce.
    Today, I am the one with a stigma.. we have often spoken about it. No matter how much I dislike being single, it still is better than being married to someone who’s not compatible or even slightly attractive.
    I do adore and appreciate my male friends… there is value in platonic friendships, which has been so forgotten by protestant churches.

  2. The famous pendulum has swung to the other extreme in other areas as well..
    Back in the day I was young (let alone when my parents got married), divorce used to be something shameful. It came with a stigma. It certainly was not broadcast t the whole wide world, or worn as a medal of honour.
    Decades ago, it was debated whether a divorced person can be Biblically remarried… or is it fornication… and whole theological discussions were held around that topic.
    Now, the pendulums is in the other extreme. Whole treatises have been written about the divorced folks’ right to re-marry. Everywhere one goes, there are divorced folks.. and they are supported, understood, celebrated and validated… no one questions as to why they got divorced, and whether their reasons were valid. (I am not condemning anyone here… am sure everyone has their reasons…)
    Divorced folks are the majority at every dating website, or singles’ group… They are encouraged to heal, to find new love, to go on their life… and usually, they can easily find someone, even fro the third, or fourth, or fifth time..
    However.. when it comes to single never married persons – we are seen as the oddballs, the misfits. I have had folks tell me they prefer someone who already was married, because obviously, someone who was married, knows everything about life, love, and the bedroom… !
    never mind I have a high libido, and also could easily have married a wrong man.. the days are gone when one was rewarded for avoiding an abusive marriage.
    Now, I am the unwanted one, condemned to life of loneliness.. not by God, but by other Christians.
    It is so, so twisted.

    1. Yes. Those attitudes also pop up in secular culture.

      I was engaged to a guy when I was in my early 30s, and I dumped him. So I do have some “serious” relationship experience.

      But…
      I don’t understand the mindset of people who’d rather date a divorced person than a never-married person.

      I know this may rub some divorced people the wrong way… but…
      I often wonder, why did this person fail at marriage – especially if they have been divorced more than once.

      I don’t know if I’d feel comfortable dating or marrying a divorced person, especially if they’ve been divorced more than once. There is something in the back of my head that makes me wonder why spouses keep wanting to leave them?

      I don’t understand the mindset that a person would rather date someone with marital experience who’s been divorced rather than the person who’s not been married yet.

      I actually did a blog post about that subject years ago but cannot recall the title of that post.

      And you know, getting married is not easy – not if you’re looking for a truly compatible life partner.

      I have no control over it. Sometimes people are too busy with job commitments or other issues and do not have the time or energy to date around.

      Some people do lower their standards to marry the first prospect to come along, because they’re afraid too many years will go by – but marriages like that won’t last long.

      I’d have to say I’m not in agreement with the extremes in much of Christian culture on various topics.

      Regarding divorce, fornication, etc – I think some churches and denominations are either too judgmental about it or too lax.

      IMO, the sweet spot is somewhere in the middle, where the church reminds people that certain actions are morally wrong, not ideal, and to be avoided, but also to extend grace and forgiveness to people who make mistakes. Many Christians veer into one side or the other.

      Some related stuff on this blog:

      (Link): Advice Letter – 41 Year Old Never Married Woman To Marry Twice Divorced Guy, Her Mom Worried

      (Link): Divorced 50-Something Lady Named Andy Says Her Ex Husband Gave Her an STD

      (Link): How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

      (Link): New Preacher At Church Says Divorced People Cannot Be Members, Those Already Divorced Will Be Removed

      (Link): People Who Get Divorced Are More Likely To Die Early Than Those … Who Never Got Married In the First Place, Study Shows

      (Link): “Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought – His Ex Wife Calls Constantly” (She Needs To Dump This Guy)

      (Link): Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work

      (Link): To Get Any Attention or Support from a Church These Days you Have To Be A Stripper, Prostitute

      (Link): Eleven Marriage Regrets From the Divorced (from H. Post) -Also the No Divorce Rule by Christians is a Symptom of Holding Marriage as an Idol

      (Link): Divorce. Unpardonable sin? (from CWO) / How Churches Fail the Divorced (article)

      (Link): Stupid Things Naive Christians Say (About Adultery, Divorce) from Divorce Minister Blog

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