Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard
This raises several points I’ve been pointing out here on this blog for years:
(Link): Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having
Excerpts:
by Mimi Haddard
June 4, 2019
Recently, my graduate students discussed how US culture sometimes idolizes sex. Citing a friend, one said, “the orgasm has replaced the cross as the place of transcendence in 21st century American culture.”
A recent study suggested that, though casual sex is more accepted than ever, loneliness is too.
Twenty-seven percent of Americans feel isolated, but loneliness is far worse among eighteen to twenty-two year-olds, followed by Millennials. The least lonely were Americans aged seventy-two and older—those having fewer sexual encounters.
Western culture often celebrates eros (romantic or sexual love) exclusively, but Scripture speaks of four distinct types of love: storge (love for those who are familiar, such as family, neighbors, coworkers, etc.), agape (God’s love), philia (love between kindred spirits), and eros.
….But just as culture elevates eros as the highest love and ignores philia, so does the church. As egalitarians, this narrow concept of love should greatly concern us, because eros feeds, in part, the church’s obsession with gender roles.
When eros love is treasured above any other kind of love, romantic relationships between men and women become our primary focus and we overlook the importance of philia.
Philia is about sharing vision and ideas, learning from one another, and discovering God’s purpose for our lives. This is the kind of love that fuels mutual submission and equal dignity in men and women. It also builds healthy professional relationships between men and women.
Gender roles separate men and women, limiting their opportunities for philia as colleagues and co-leaders and the deep joy we all derive from love that is not romantic.
Tragically, gender essentialism obscures the fullest purposes of women, because they are not free to discover and fan into flame the gifts God has given them.
Rather, men are given leadership roles and women are called only to “roles” of submission/support. The impact of gender roles, in the workplace or romantic relationships, is that women must be demure and submit, whereas men must be aggressive and bold.
In both cases, we limit our potential for philia—equal and passionate exchanges of ideas between men and women.
Read the remainder of that (Link): here.
Related:
(Link): Topics: Friendship is Possible / Sexualization By Culture Of All Relationships
(Link): Sex Regarded as Passage Into Adulthood
(Link): Paul, Singleness, And Mutuality: Three Proposals for The Church (from Junia Project)
(Link): The Sexualization of God and Jesus
(Link): Dudes, Stop Putting Women in the Girl-friend-zone
(Link): Hollywood Movies: Affirming that Friendship or Platonic Love is Just As Good As Marriage
(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link): Do Married Couples Slight Their Family Members as Well as Their Friends? / “Greedy Marriages”
(Link): The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links
(Link): Learning to See Your Single Neighbor by H. Stallcup
(Link): Study: Couples Without Children Have Happier Marriages / Study: Having Kids Ruins Your Life
(Link): Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article
(Link): Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’ s Response
(Link): Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment by N. Brooke’
(Link): Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier
(Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States
(Link): Single Workers Aren’t There to Pick Up the Slack For Their Married Bosses and Colleagues
(Link): Article by J. Watts: The Scandal of Singleness
(Link): ‘Why Are You Single’ Lists That Do Not Pathologize Singles by Bella DePaulo
(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf
(Link): Husband Dies of Covid-19 Only 48 Hours After Wife Gives Birth to Premature Baby
(Link): I’m 45, Single And Childless. No, There’s Nothing ‘Wrong’ With Me. by M Notkin
(Link): Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time
(Link): Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”
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