How To Deal With Chronic Complainers, by Guy Winch, Ph.D.

How To Deal With Chronic Complainers, by Guy Winch, Ph.D.

(Link): How to Deal with Chronic Complainers, by Guy Winch Ph.D.

Excerpts:

What they want and what they need are very different things.

….Understanding what Chronic Complainers Don’t Want

Most chronic complainers truly see their lives as full of hardship and challenge. (Some people’s lives are full of hardship or tragedy, but I refer here to people whose lives are actually not unusual in that regard).

Chronic complainers’ perceptions about their hardships are deeply embedded in their personality and sense of identity.

Therefore, although they tell others about their problems all the time, they are not really looking for advice or solutions.

 Even when your advice would actually resolve a problem, chronic complainers will not be especially happy to hear it: Anything that takes away some recognition of their “hardship” will be experienced as threatening to their identity and even their sense of self.

Therefore, they often respond to sound advice either by explaining why the suggestions won’t work or by becoming upset that the person offering it doesn’t understand how unsolvable their problem actually is.


Related:

(Link): How to Recognize and Respond to Energy Vampires at Home, Work, and More

(Link): Victim Syndrome (‘Are You A Victim of the Victim Syndrome’) – by Insead

(Link): Avoid Getting Entangled with Covert Narcissists – You Can Waste Your Time, Effort, Money or Giving that Exhausting Emotional Support and It Won’t Make A Difference to the Recipient

(Link): Five Tips to Help You Quiet the Chronic Complainer in You Life by Lisa Fields

(Link): Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change

(Link): When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc

(Link):  When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship

(Link): Clinical Depression Doesn’t Make People Incapable of Making Choices or Changes

(Link): Are You Stuck in the “I’ll Feel Better When” Cycle? by Diana Hill, phD

(Link): The ‘Paralyzed in a Wheelchair’ Analogy – Regarding: Clinical Depression – Also: The Cynical or Victimhood Filter

(Link): Choosing Sadness: The Irony of Depression – article from APS – by Wray Herbert

(Link): Being Bitter and Blaming Others Can Ruin Your Health by Elizabeth Cohen

(Link): An Alarming Trend in Psychotherapy by Christine Sefein – (Woke Therapists Want You To Stay In a Victim Mindset and Miserable)

(Link): Sick of the Chronic Complainer? Here’s How to Fix Their Behavior By Sophie Deutsch

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