American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

(Link): American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

Priorities for couples on Valentine’s Day have also shifted, while some people who are single say the holiday brings too much pressure

By Maria Pasquini
February 14, 2022

Although American adults are having less sex and exchanging less rings than they once did, romance isn’t dead — and neither is relationship satisfaction.

Yellow Smiling Heart ImageIn 2021 findings reported by (Link): CNN, nearly 26% of adults said they (Link): didn’t have sex once over the past 12 months, according to the General Social Survey.

The results were up from 23.3% in 2018 and 22.5% in 2016, which were the last two times the recurring survey had been completed.

In contrast, when the survey was conducted 20 years earlier, only 18.7% of adults reported not having any sex.

The Washington Post previously reported that the change has been most pronounced in younger adults. Between 2008 and 2018, the percentage of Americans between the ages of 18 to 29 not having sex doubled. (Meanwhile, numbers for adults over the age of 50 have (Link): stayed largely consistent since 1989.)

As a possible explanation behind the data, Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, told the newspaper at the time that “there are more people in their twenties who don’t have a live-in partner…so under those circumstances I think less sex is going to happen.”

In their most recent survey, GSS also reported that the number of adults with a live-in partner has continued to decrease.

Although 70% of respondents said they were living in the same house as their spouse in 1989, only 48% of American adults reported being in the same situation in 2021.

The number of adults who said they did not have a steady partner has also increased in that time period, reaching 30% last year.

However, the good news is that the majority of adults who are in relationships report feeling romantically satisfied with their partner.

….However, whether you’re single or in a relationship, recent surveys all show that people are less into celebrating Valentine’s Day the traditional way.  

“The pandemic has shifted how we think of romantic Valentine’s Day activities,” Lewandowski explained. “While many couples may prefer a night on the town if Covid wasn’t a factor, it appears that they are adjusting their expectations in light of the new reality.”

Now, just one in four adults say their perfect celebration would include a big night out, while 37% of respondents said they’d prefer to spend time with their loved one at home.

Another recent survey found that almost 50% of people who don’t have romantic partners find Valentine’s Day to be particularly stressful — a number which is particularly high among millennials and Gen Z.

“Interestingly, the biggest pressures come from external sources tied to societal expectations (58%), commercialization and non-stop advertising of the big day (57%), and social media hype (48%),” a press release from dating app Plenty of Fish states.

According to their research, 43% of singles report feeling pressured to be in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, while 41% say they feel like they’re supposed to act like the holiday is more meaningful than they feel it is. Additionally, 37% say they feel pressured to spend more money on gifts than they want to.

“[Singles] are flat out tired of the unrealistic expectations that society and social media place on them — especially during this time of year,” Plenty of Fish marketing executive Stefan Harvalias said in a statement.


(Link): Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

❤ (Link): Brands Let Customers Opt Out of Valentine’s Day Deluge

❤ (Link): Instagram is Making Valentine’s Day Even Lonelier by Margaret Renkl

(Link): Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?

❤ (Link): Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day

(Link): People Have Been Having Less Sex—whether They’re Teenagers or 40-Somethings

(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin 

❤ (Link):  Valentine’s Day is Used to Push ‘Kinks’ and ‘Polyamory’ on America’s College Campuses

(Link): Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps by S. Hendricks

❤ (Link): Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by G.  Stearns

❤ (Link): Valentine’s Day: The Unromantic Origins of the Holiday by S. Barr

❤ (Link): Valentine’s Day / Singles Appreciation Day For Never Married People and Other Singles 2014

❤ (Link): Dating App Horror Stories That Will Make You Feel Thankful You Are Single on Valentine’s Day by D. Cho

❤ (Link): A Valentine’s Ode to Friendship by P. Jane

❤ (Link):  Galentine’s Day – Because Nobody Likes Valentine’s Day Anymore

❤ (Link): Single and Already Over Valentine’s Day? This Tweet Round Up Is For You by B. Wong

❤ (Link):  Valentine’s Day, the Church and Single Awareness Day? by J. Storment

❤ (Link): Some Lady Tells Singles Not To Feel Sad on Valentine’s Day

❤ (Link):  Preacher Matthew Hagee Insults Singles on Valentine’s Day

❤ (Link):   Happy Valentine’s Day to all the Unmarried People out there!

❤ (Link):  Meet the Most Vitriolic Valentine’s Day Haters Around the World

❤ (Link): Insensitive Valentine Meme – you can’t feel sad about being single if your parents are still living

(Link): BreakPoint Unfortunately Pushing the False and Un-Biblical “Society Needs Marriage and the Nuclear Family” Rhetoric (and I say this as a Conservative)

(Link): Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?

❤ (Link): Chinese Singles Buy Movie Tickets So Couples Can’t Sit Together on Valentine’s Day

❤ (Link):  A Valentine for the Single Christian by K L Bishop

(Link): Love Does Not Have to Be Romantic or Erotic: Maleficent Movie

(Link): Love Couldn’t Save Me From Loneliness By M. Puniewska

(Link): Is It Just Me, Or Is Making Friends in Middle Age Hard for Everyone? (Letter to Ask Amy)

(Link): Lonely Woman Wonders How to Make Friends (letter to Ask Amy)

(Link): Why is it So Hard For Women to Make New Friends? by G. Kovanis

(Link): Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

(Link):  Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession –  by K. Jullian – via The Atlantic

(Link): More Young Adult Americans Living Sexless Lives, Especially the Religiously Devout: Study – by Leonardo Blair

(Link): Single Men Just Don’t Care About Sex Anymore, Study Says 

(Link): Young Adults Are Having Less Casual Sex. A New Study Found 3 Reasons Why by Ross Pomeroy

(Link):  Americans Having Less Sex Now, Says 2017 Study

(Link):  Study: Americans Having Less Sex; Video Streaming May Be To Blame

(Link):  The Many Reasons That People Are Having Less Sex (2017 article via BBC News)

(Link):  When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link): Living Myths About Virginity (via The Atlantic)

(Link): (Article) Young People in Japan Have Stopped Having Sex – sekkusu shinai shokogun – Celibacy Syndrome

(Link):  ‘Stop Nagging!’: Why China’s Young Adults Are Resisting Marriage and Babies

(Link): Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990

(Link): How Can Conservatives and Christians Keep Teaching Family is Backbone of Society when there are so many dysfunctional or abusive familes

(Link): Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

(Link): What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse – What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron

(Link): It’s Better To Be Single, According To Science by Erin Brodwin

(Link): The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo

(Link):  Craigslist confessional: I’m in my 40s, never married, and a virgin—but I’m happy by Abigail

(Link): Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims (2019 Study)

(Link):  Never-Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers To Send Him A Wife

(Link):  Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

(Link):  The Case Against ‘Saving’ Marriage – Married Nuclear Families Are the Gold Standard Against Which We Are All Judged. by N. Rodgers

(Link): Husband-Hunting is the Worst Part of a Christian Upbringing – Christianity Made Me Obsessed with Finding a Husband – by B. Ramos

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): “God’s gifting of singleness is rare”

(Link): Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest

(Link): Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier

(Link): Instone-Brewer: Ancient Jews Expected All to Marry, Was Illegal to Remain Single in Ancient Rome

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