Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson
For a Christian-penned essay, this is pretty good (the link, with excerpts, is below).
I usually find most Christian- authored material about singleness to be off mark, but this was pretty good.
A word from me about Valentine’s Day, that echoes what the author below says:
If you’re single, want to be married, but still find yourself single into your 30s, 40s, or older, Valentine’s Day can be a painful and/or frustrating holiday.
With the passage of time, though, as I came to accept my singleness (I had wanted to be married for years, but it never came to pass), as more and more time went by, Valentine’s Day stopped bothering me.
Maybe the same will be true for you, if you’re single, don’t want to be single, and find Valentine’s to be a difficult holiday.
I initially found Valentine’s Day sad, then after a few years (as I was still single), I was annoyed or angered by it – then after a few more years (still single), it just stopped bothering me – I’d say this was some time around my mid or late 40s, age-wise.
I was kind of apathetic about this holiday by around my late 40s. These days, I actually kind of enjoy Valentine’s Day.
In my family, when I was growing up, Valentine’s Day was not just about romantic love; my Mom used to give us (my siblings and myself) Valentine’s (cards and candy), and as I got older, my Dad usually gives me a Valentine’s card, I send them either via snail mail or on social media to my sister, she sends them to me, and I sometimes give my Dad a card.
You don’t have to have a boyfriend or a husband to celebrate the holiday. You can still send cards or candy to family or friends.
My point being, as time goes by, the holiday loses its sting – at least it did for me. You may even come to enjoy it, the more you accept the fact that marriage hasn’t happened for you. I’ve actually come to enjoy Valentine’s.
This year, I bought a couple of bags of chocolate candy on sale prior to the holiday; they are heart-shaped chocolates in red- colored wrappers, and I had a handful on Valentine’s Day. I treated myself, and it felt good.
I don’t know where you are in acceptance of your singles status, but if you’re still struggling, know that with the passage of time, it will probably get easier for you.
….I chose long ago to face February 14th without fear. If you’re single with no romantic prospects in sight, here are a few ideas for how to do the same.
It’s OK to be sad. Valentine’s Day is marketed for couples, and if you don’t have a plus-one, it’s easy to feel left out. Whether you’ve been overlooked in love, you’ve recently walked through a breakup or divorce, or perhaps the love of your life has died, love lost is something to be grieved.
Don’t be ashamed to give yourself the time and space you need.
The Bible even invites us to pour out our complaint to God himself. After all, he’s the one who not only cares about our sadness, but also has the power to do something about it.
Get some perspective. If you think everyone is celebrating without you, think again. In fact, I know very few couples who get excited about Valentine’s Day. When asked, many admit to me their dread.
Whether the pressure or the expense or the blatant commercialism attached to the day, most people approach February 14th with an overwhelming sense of meh.
This is an especially good time to remember that your relationship status isn’t the biggest thing about you, nor does it define you — and changing that status won’t fix anything about you or fill any void inside you.
There are plenty of lonely married people, just as there are many singles living purposeful, relationally-rich lives.
God is the only person who can meet your deepest needs, married or single. If you’re looking for another human to do that, you’ll forever be disappointed.
Of course, it’s still nice to get candy and flowers, but Valentine’s Day is just a day — a snapshot in time. You’re much more than a square on a calendar, and only God knows what that square will hold next year.
You can read that entire page (Link): here
❤ (Link): Valentine’s Day, the Church and Single Awareness Day? by J. Storment