Secular Sex Ed Failures, Secular Sexual and Biological Ignorance
Are you counting on secular sources to educate you properly on sex, biology, anatomy, or puberty? Are you counting on secular sources to even address a possible (negative) psychological and emotional consequence of having sex when you’re not truly ready, or don’t want to do it, but feel shamed or guilted by a date or culture, into having sex? Ha ha, well, good luck with that!
Not only do some Non-Christians hold false or weird ideas about sex themselves, but some Non-Christians like to portray all or most Christians as having false, shaming, or weird ideas about sex.
As someone who has followed a lot of Non-Christian, feminist social media accounts or who has dropped by their magazine sites to read their articles about sex, men, and sexism in the last several years, one recurrent theme that shows up is how ignorant teen boys and men in their 20s (and sometimes older men) are about sex.
I should maybe do a post about that later.
But the fact is, a lot of Non-Christian men, who are being raised in secular culture, some of whom have who even been exposed to secular sex education teachings in public school, have NO IDEA how a woman’s body works.
A lot of these Non-Christian men hold all sorts of false, bonkers ideas of how menstrual periods work, or how a woman can get pregnant, for example, which shocks the secular, feminist women writers.
There are secular, liberal feminists who mock this secular, male ignorance all the time on their sites.
You can probably google to find examples of it. Maybe I will make a post about it later. I’ve seen a lot of it over the years.
Sexual Abstinence is, in fact, one way to totally avoid contracting STIs, sorry to inform the critics of Christian sexual ethics, or the high school kids in some of the quotes below on the BuzzFeed site, who lament that their sex ed teachings advised them (accurately!) that sexual abstinence is the safest bet.
There is no form of artificial birth control that is 100% effective. Condoms are cited as being 98% effective, but what if you’re in on that two percent failure rate?
Some forms of sexual acts, such as anal sex (which (Link): some secular teen magazines have been promoting in the last few years), are more liable to cause or spread disease and create physical issues.
See, for example, this SECULAR (Non-Christian) page about anal sex at WebMD, which confirms that:
(Link): Anal Sex Safety: What to Know
The lining of the anus is thinner than the vagina, and it lacks natural lubrication. That makes it much more vulnerable to tearing. Tears can allow viruses and bacteria to enter the bloodstream. This can include sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV.
Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure.
Anal intercourse can also boost the risk of getting the human papillomavirus (HPV).
HPV may also lead to the development of anal warts and anal cancer. Using lubricants can help, but it doesn’t completely prevent tearing.
The tissue inside the anus is not as well-protected as the skin outside the anus. Our external tissue has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection. The tissue inside the anus doesn’t have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection.
The anus was designed to hold in feces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens after we have a bowel movement. When the muscle is tight, anal penetration can be painful and difficult.
Repetitive anal sex may weaken the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet. Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter may help prevent this problem or correct it.
The anus is full of bacteria. Bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Having vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections.
— end excerpts —
I don’t think all the samples on the pages below are all Christian –
(I am not going to copy the entire pages; if you’d like to see all the examples, please use the links below to visit the pages to view them all if you want to):
(Link): One Man Believes Women With Large Boobs Scientifically Can’t Be Smart And 49 Other Jaw-dropping Misconceptions Men Actually Believe About Women (some of the examples on the page involve inaccurate ideas men have about female anatomy, biology, etc)
I think it’s time for us to have an adult sex-ed class because WHEW, child.
…5. “I’m a female student who’s taking sex ed now.
The funniest thing to me is how often they refer to penises and male anatomy, but rarely discuss vaginas and female anatomy. It’s kinda disgusting how little the guys have to learn about vaginas and periods, yet, I know pretty much everything about males now.”
“My male sex education teacher told our entire classroom that period cramps do not exist and that he would not accept them as an excuse to get out of gym class.”
January 8, 2022
by Maya Ogolini – BuzzFeed Staff
Let’s face it: Sex can sometimes be an uncomfortable conversation topic when you’re young. Whether your school had a teacher attempt to explain things in health class or your parents sat you down for a “birds and the bees” talk, chances are you spent a majority of the time learning about sex wishing that you were anywhere else.
But sometimes trying your best to avoid an awkward situation can actually result in a much more awkward, embarrassing situation.
Recently, Reddit user u/wilson-volleyball77 asked,
“What is one sex education fail you’ve heard/experienced?”
Here are some of the best:
1. “If you use a tampon before sex, then you’re no longer a virgin. The number of people that believe this is unbelievable.”
“When I was a freshman in high school, my dad heard me tell my mom that I needed tampons from the store, and he freaked out. He thought that you had to have sex first before being able to use them. I was only 14, and I understood all that a lot better than him.
…6. “A guy once told me he thought periods lasted a whole month.”
7. “I was asked this question, ‘How will you be able to pee when you have your hysterectomy?’
“I had to tell my first girlfriend she didn’t pee out of her vagina. She didn’t know she had a urethra.”
…9. “Copying positions in porn. Porn positions are meant for the camera view, not comfort or pleasure.”
“This is so widespread that I genuinely thought for the longest time something was wrong with me. I was assaulted more than once, and I thought it ‘ruined me’ and that’s why I didn’t look like a porn star.
I wouldn’t have sex with the lights on or let anyone see me until my most recent ex because I thought I would be seen as damaged goods.
Past boyfriends would make comments so it really wrecked my self-esteem.
My ex and I broke up due to mental health issues but I seriously am so grateful for that guy for really being the one to drill in my head that nothing is wrong with me.”
…12. “Not exactly the same, but I somehow thought (I can’t pinpoint exactly where I got it from) that being a virgin makes me attractive and kind of holy. I’m really not religious but somehow I believed my virginity is something to be protected and that it made me special.”
13. “My ex thought having your period only lasted one day. He was mortified to hear the truth. He also thought only girls can give guys STDs, not the other way around.”
15. “The number of people who don’t know about birth control, how to use it properly, and the side effects of it. A guy at my work was telling us that his girlfriend was pregnant and she must have lied about being on birth control and baby trapped him.
I asked if she had been sick or changed pills recently, and he said she had gastro about a week before she got pregnant. I told him that she probably wasn’t lying about being on birth control, but because she was sick, it didn’t get absorbed properly and therefore a baby happened.”
“Everyone else in the office (made up of mostly adult women) were shocked and didn’t believe me until they Googled it.”
18. “I work in sex ed, and I find it appalling how many people are still clueless about the clit and its importance. It is mystifying to me that so many men act like clitoral stimulation is optional and then get confused when their partners don’t enjoy or want sex as much as they do.” …
19. “My sister sincerely asked if you can get pregnant if you found the condom up there when you peed the day after. The answer is obviously yes, immediately followed by, ‘I’m taking you to get emergency contraceptives.’ I ended up regularly advising my sister on her sexual health years before I became sexually active myself. The real kicker is I know she got excellent sex-ed.”
“I know because we attended the same school, (which had a really thorough and judgment-free program) and our parents got pregnant as teens so they also took great care to make sure we got the talk young and without sugar coating. Realizing she had actively ignored all of it was both eye-opening and horrifying, and I am glad I had good enough sex ed to help her avoid repeating our parents’ mistakes.”
…22. “My male sex education teacher told our entire classroom that period cramps do not exist and that he would not accept them as an excuse to get out of gym class. No one protested as it was grade nine and the girls were too embarrassed to say otherwise.”
23. “We were in med school, and one of my female classmates refused to use the swimming pool because she ‘didn’t want to get pregnant.'””We were in med school. MED SCHOOL.”
24. “My sex ed teacher told me women cannot orgasm, and I felt so sad for his wife.”
27. “A guy said, ‘I won’t get HIV because I’m not gay.’ This was a 28-year-old man with a master’s degree.”
…39. “Comparing porn to real-life sex. One of my best friends broke up with her boyfriend because he wanted to copy everything that was in porn, the sounds, moans, etc. He was disgusted when she was on her period, and he even cheated on her.”
…42. “I learned nothing about safe sex — basically only about how babies are made and nothing else at all. It wasn’t abstinence-only, but they just said condoms exist and left it at that. Nothing about health. I had to learn about health on my own.”
“Sex ed taught me that asexuality doesn’t exist, nothing about breast health (we were told the symptoms of breast cancer but not what was normal, which gave me a breast cancer scare), and nothing about what was normal for people with vaginas, such as discharge. They also implied periods aren’t that bad.”
This next one, number 52, is actually true ((Link): this page (PDF format) at the CDC, especially starting at page 14, touches on this issue
– if you are sexually active, and you may have an STI, doctors ask about your sexual history, not just about your current sex partner, because you can contract STIs via your current partner who may have contracted one from one of his or her FORMER partner(s)):
52. “Our school nurse told us, a class of 13-year-olds, ‘If a boy has sex with a girl who’s had sex with five different boys before, then he’s also having sex with those fives boys.’ That’s word for word.”
“I distinctly remember a lot of us looking at each other thinking, ‘Um…what?'”
…60. “A few years ago in my 20s, I had to explain to a grown-ass man (in his 40s) that you can get STDs from oral sex. He tried to argue with, ‘But I have nice teeth, no cavities.’ He went silent after I sent him a few links explaining oral STDs and how you get cavities in your teeth.”
— end excerpts —
Okay. That page did contain about 3 or 4 specific examples of readers who said they heard ridiculous or bogus sex advice from self-identifying Christians (which I did NOT copy here in my blog post), but by and large, most reader submissions seem to be referring to Non-Christian (secular) sources.
It’s not just religious folks who have, at times, weird or inaccurate beliefs about sex, but the non-religious, the secular, too.
Keep that in mind before you go and make a You Tube video, blog post, or Tweet mocking some weird idea some Christians may have about sex. And maybe the Christian idea you are mocking isn’t even weird, but you just happen to disagree with it.
You disagreeing with a particular Christian ideal about sexual mores or beliefs doesn’t necessarily make that sexual more wrong, scientifically inaccurate, or bad.
And not all Christian views about sex are weird, wrong, or bad, such as staying a virgin until marriage; that notion is just hated by hedonistic Non-Christians and progressive Christians who are loathe to be held to any standard, or judged, for their sexual choices in life.
Any time you have sex with another person, there is in fact risk involved.
Mocking or hating Christians who may promote staying abstinent until marriage does not change the reality of that – if you are a woman who has sex with a man, you can become pregnant, even if you use some form of birth control.
If you are a man or a woman who engages in sex with either other men or women (hetero or homo) sex acts (see also: (Link): CDC Reports Rare Lesbian HIV Transmission Case), you stand a risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, or being emotionally damaged if you were not truly ready and willing to engage in sex.
For the few numbers of Christians who even bother to defend or advocate for celibacy or remaining a virgin until marriage (there aren’t many of them now), hating or mocking those Christians believing in, practicing, or for adhering to these positions, does not change scientific, biological, or psychological facts, which is, yes, sex can have negative ramifications, no matter if one uses birth control, condoms, or has attended secular sex ed courses.
(Link): The Myth of Safe Sex by D. Foley
(Link): I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti
(Link): Secular Liberal Feminist Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity