“I’m a Divorce Lawyer. Here Are The 5 Most Common Marriage Problems I See”
by Raiford Dalton Palmer
March 1, 2022
The advice I always give people about divorce is this: don’t get one. The best divorce is the one you never have, if you can avoid it.
… Here are some of the most common problems that I’ve seen in my law practice.
It seems like the most straightforward reason for a divorce: someone cheated.
But in my experience, infidelity is most often a symptom, not the disease. Apart from pathological cheaters who are in it for the thrill of sneaking around, in my experience with clients, most people cheat on their spouses because intimacy is lacking in their relationship. …
[Visit their site to read the portion under “Different Values” subsection. It boils down to: the couples in question stop spending time with each other, or stopped investing time in to the marriage]
[Visit their site to read the portion under “Different Values” subsection]
I have seen problems with mental health affect not just the person suffering, but also their spouse, which can lead them to consulting with a divorce lawyer like myself.
In some cases, people with spouses with depression, bipolar disorder or more serious mental health issues can decide they just don’t want to deal with it anymore—I often see this happening in situations where they feel their spouse is not taking enough responsibility for their own issues.
I’ve also seen cases involving a spouse with what appears to be narcissistic or borderline personality disorder, usually not diagnosed by a doctor, but evident in their behavior and treatment of their partner.
In one case, I worked with a wife whose husband had been verbally abusive for years; calling his wife names, demonizing her family, and controlling the family finances with an iron fist.
While outwardly it appeared that they had a perfect marriage, his behavior when they were alone drove her to the point where she simply could not take it anymore.
I had a client in his late 50s whose wife had blown through their entire retirement savings going to the casinos in the area to play high limit slots. …
…I have personally seen more so-called “gray divorces” in recent years; those involving older couples. I believe these are typically a result of cumulative damage, whether neglect, lack of attention, or the negative impact of mental illness or addictions.
The ongoing challenges in the marriage become unbearable after a while. And, when people start looking at how they want to spend the remaining years of their lives, they aren’t willing to continue putting up with it.
(Link): Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner by B. Luscombe