Loud Sex is Ruining Hundreds of New Yorker’s Lives, 311 Reports Show
See, if all to most of your neighbors were chaste / celibate, this wouldn’t be an issue, LOL.
March 1, 2022
By Ben Kesslen
….New Yorkers made more than 270 sex complaints over the past year to the non-emergency hotline, with reports of everything from backyard orgies, to the sounds of “loud ruthless sex,” to the grunts of what one caller described as a “sexual-tyrannosaurus,” according to records reviewed by the Post.
“Listen i am a christian woman, help this girl stop having loud sex before God does,” one desperate Bronx woman told 311 in a 6 a.m. complaint this January.
The calls and online submissions, which came in between Feb. 19, 2021 to Feb. 9 2022, were from all five boroughs and involved people describing all manner of carnal depravity going on in the apartments next door, in their building’s stairways and even right outside their window.
“Orgy going on in the backyard, boobs and penis’ being flashed on the street,” a Queens resident carped at 1 a.m. in June.
“There is an obese gay man splashing his Latino lovers cheeks with his man syrup,” a wordsmith from Brooklyn complained in August well past midnight.
One Bronx local said his neighbors were having “loud and ruthless sex” in the middle of the afternoon, while a Manhattan resident complained of a “sex T party” next door — referencing gay slang for crystal meth “T” or “Tina.”
The records, first obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request made by Patch and then provided to the Post, are full of grumpy New Yorkers who say their neighbors are taking the “city that never sleep” expression too literally.
“This apartment always have loud moaning from the female occupant while having intercourses. Hard for a lonely neighbor to get a good night sleep,” a downtrodden Queens man wrote in at almost 4 a.m.
One Brooklyn resident told 311 that carnal moans kept him up well into the night and he lost his job because of oversleeping. Another Brooklynite said it was once impossible to access their apartment without walking through eight to nine people having an orgy in the staircase.
“I’ve slept through earthquakes and fires in my life but I couldn’t sleep through this,” a different resident said.
A person in Queens said a neighbor was “shouting loudly that he is a sexual-tyrannosaurus.”
“Please make him stop,” they begged.
…A series of grievances lodged by an anonymous person online said the location hosts massive sex parties, with “j— slapping my window,” “gangbangs” and people dressed as “Jason X, Freddy, Pennywise, and Mike Myers” — all while the Velveteen Dream’s theme song plays.
“O to the R to the G to the Y. Put it all together and you get a orgy party,” a complaint reads. “Come on down they are letting the booties hit the floor and watching broke back mountain. They are screaming cowabunga and orgy! I guess they got horny during hibernation. Stop these sex feens!”