Feminist Author: Stay-At-Home Moms Breed ‘Worse, More Sexist’ Men By Samantha Ibrahim
From what I recall reading years ago, there is a grain of truth of some of what this feminist woman wrote – I have read studies that men who have daughters tend to be less sexist than men who don’t, and that men brought up with sisters where all household chores were equally divided (the boys weren’t let off the hook for domestic chores) grow up to have more egalitarian gender attitudes than men who grow up in families where they see their parents expect or force the female children to take on more domestic duties.
I’ve also read studies saying that never-married women are happier than married women. There are studies saying people who are parents are not as happy as childless couples. (Some of these studies are linked to below under “Related Posts.”)
Having said that: while I do believe that too many conservatives (I myself am a conservative) have turned marriage and parenthood into idols, and that they do cling to some sexist stereotypes, I do not have an issue with women who knowingly walk into marriage and motherhood.
That is, I do not think that feminists should shame women who want to marry and have children any more than I think that it’s acceptable for conservatives or Christians to pressure women into thinking their only life goal should be marriage and motherhood.
(Link): Feminist author: Stay-at-home moms breed ‘worse, more sexist’ men
By Samantha Ibrahim
April 13, 2022
Controversial feminist author Jill Filipovic is preaching the “overwhelmingly negative consequences” of stay-at-home moms — and social media watchdogs are coming for her.
Filipovic, 38, detailed her stance that these mothers create “worse, more sexist” men — and women who are “psychologically and emotionally worse off” — in a now-viral (Link): Twitter thread published on Tuesday.
Expanding on her latest Substack essay — “It’s a bad idea to pay women to stay home” — the Brooklyn-based writer-lawyer tweeted her thoughts on the subject in response to a recent New York Times guest column espousing the merits of paying parents to stay home.
“The problem with paying people to stay home with kids, though, is that (1) we’re overwhelmingly not talking about ‘people,’ we’re talking about mothers; and (2) pushing women out of work comes with overwhelmingly negative consequences,” begins the thread by the outspoken author of the 2020 book “OK, Boomer, Let’s Talk: How My Generation Got Left Behind.”
Filipovic noted that families that are set up in a more traditional sense — a k a, per her thread, the “carer/earner nuclear family model” — is a historical oddity “that is tremendously isolating and often financially devastating for the carer (almost always a woman).”
“It also reinforces the gendered division of labor, which ripples out to all women,” she continued. She then recommended a “robust social welfare state” instead of “paying mothers a small stipend.’”
“More mothers at home makes for worse, more sexist men who see women as mommies. Men with stay-at-home wives are more sexist than men with working wives,” the lawyer said, declaring her views on gender relations to the Twitter-verse. “[Men] don’t assess women’s workplace contributions [fairly]; and they are less likely to hire and promote women.”
Filipovic claimed that “stay-at-home mothers are psychologically and emotionally worse off than working mothers by just about every measure.” She alleged that these moms suffer from anger, depression and anxiety.
She also suggested “a better model” is to have a paid parental leave policy that “heavily incentivizes men to take significant time off of work, too.”
…Some commenters on the social media platform agreed with the author’s point of view — while many others dove into hardcore defenses of a woman’s right to choose stay-at-home motherhood over a career.
“Why not just let women choose? Not everyone wants to sit in a windowless cubicle all day. Some women love the freedom and fresh air. Not everyone is wired for the rat-race,” contended one social media commenter.
(Link): ‘It’s a break from the kids’: Why parents cheat more than childless couples
(Link): Christian Complementarian Owen Strachan Pushing “the Nuclear Family” Narrative – Unfortunately. (The Bible Does Not Prescribe The Family or Marriage as Cures for Individual or Societal Sin)
(Link): American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop
(Link): The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links
(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Is Not
(Link): Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims
(Link): Time to End ‘Nuclear Family Privilege’ – Let’s Overcome Irrational Nostalgia for a Version of Family Long Since Transformed
(Link): The Way We Never Were: American Families And The Nostalgia Trap by Stephanie Coontz (Author)
(Link): Widows Have Better Well Being Than Married Couples says new study
(Link): Fewer Americans See Their Romantic Partners As a Source of Life’s Meaning
(Link): Christianity Should Be Able To Work Regardless of Culture, Childed or Marital Status / Article: Unlike in the 1950s, there is no ‘typical’ U.S. family today by B. Shulte
(Link): It Goes In Cycles: Push For “Early Marriage” Makes the Rounds AGAIN Lately, Because of Marriage-Idolater, Singleness Shaming Brad Wilcox (Feb 2022)
(Link): Southern Baptist Al Mohler Intimates That Childless And Childfree Adults Are Not Human (2019) – and He Thinks This is a Good and Biblical Worldview
(Link): Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy”
(Link): How Can Conservatives and Christians Keep Teaching Family is Backbone of Society when there are so many dysfunctional or abusive familes
(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings
(Link): Stop Telling Adult Singles and Adult Virgins That Their Virginity and Singleness is “For God’s Glory” – just stop it already
(Link): Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay
(Link): Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest
(Link): Gender Complementarianism – A General Response – from a Former Gender Complementarian Who Is Still A Conservative
(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin
(Link): Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990
(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother
(Link): Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal – Why the ingrained expectation that women should desire to become parents is unhealthy by J. Valenti
(Link): People Who Get Divorced Are More Likely To Die Early Than Those … Who Never Got Married In the First Place, Study Shows (2020)
Link): Stop putting pressure on women to have kids before they’re 30 by A Chandler
(Link): A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates
(Link): Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)
(Link): 270 Reasons Women Choose Not To Have Children
(Link): Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – On Not Wanting to Date Single Parents
(Link): Childless and happy: The new tribe of women?
(Link): Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian
(Link): Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner By B. Luscombe
(Link): “Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought – His Ex Wife Calls Constantly” (She Needs To Dump This Guy)
(Link): Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages
(Link): Typical Conservative Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough (or at all), Mr. Right will magically appear
(Link): Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence”
(Link): Never-Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers To Send Him A Wife
(Link): Craigslist confessional: I’m in my 40s, never married, and a virgin—but I’m happy by Abigail
(Link): Seven Reasons Not To Get Married, According to Science
(Link): Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.
(Link): Dear Prudence: Help! I’m Glad My Awful Husband Is Dead.
(Link): Society Has It Wrong: Married People Shouldn’t Get Benefits That Single People do Not by V. Larson
(Link): Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts
(Link): Is Singleness A Sin? by Camerin Courtney
(Link): Focus on the Family Members Practice Infidelity or Homosexuality and Get Divorced and Remarry – links to exposes
(Link): Are Single Women – and specifically Never Married Women – More Likely To Be Victims of Abuse? Rebuttals to this view (advanced by W B Wilcox)
(Link): Pro-Life, Christian Sites that Flirt With Denigrating Singleness and Childlessness In Their Quest to Argue Against Abortion / Re Eric Metaxas etc