Sex and the Suburbs: How to Know If Your Neighbor is a Swinger

Sex and the Suburbs: How to Know If Your Neighbor is a Swinger

This is one of the dumbest articles I’ve ever read.

Who’s to say that a plastic flamingo is always a sign that someone is a swinger? Maybe a plastic flamingo is just a plastic flamingo.

flamingoYardThe article also claims that other items are signs that someone is a swinger, including pineapple imagery and garden gnomes. So stupid.

The article also claims that a woman wearing an anklet or toe ring may be a swinger – what a bunch of horseshit! I’m a celibate woman who has worn anklets or toe rings in summer at times (when I’m in sandals).

Just because someone is wearing a toe ring, black ring, anklet, has a plastic flamingo or a garden gnome or two in their yard, or a pineapple image on their property (upside down or no), doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a “swinger,” give me a break!

(Link): Sex and the suburbs: How to know if your neighbor is a swinger

June 8, 2022
By Andrew Court

Do you have naughty neighbors?

Swinging is reported to be on the rise, with as many as 15 million Americans habitually swapping partners to spice up their sex lives.

And research has revealed swingers in the US are “mostly white, middle-aged and middle income,” meaning there’s no shortage of stimulated suburbanites secretly getting down and dirty behind the white picket fence.

While most keep their bedroom behavior a secret, swingers use certain signs to indicate their interest in unorthodox sexual practices.

So, if you’re a nosy neighbor wondering whether the people on your streets are freaks in the sheets, these are some innocuous objects to watch out for.

According to the Sun, flamingos symbolize swinging, with partner swappers placing plastic replicas of the bird in their front yards to let others know they’re up for a good time.

It’s unclear how the pink creature came to symbolize swinging, but a Reddit user said the general population is still oblivious to the kinky coding of the lawn displays, which are often seen in front of churches.

On TikTok, there are hundreds of videos linking plastic flamingos to swinging, but some said they were also unaware of the connection — including a woman who was left mortified after she put a pink flamingo in front of her home after getting it as a gift from her sister.

Meanwhile, garden gnomes have also become another domestic decoration that secretly signifies swinging.

One San Diego real estate agent wrote online there is a “huge swinger community” in one part of the city, and she is often on the lookout for the lawn ornaments.

The agent revealed that one potential buyer was turned off to a property after spotting several gnomes in a front yard of a home in the swinging hot spot.

Elsewhere, the Sun states that hot tubs could also indicate you have a naughty neighbor.

However, given the commonality of garden gnomes and hot tubs, it may not be safe to assume your neighbor is a swinger simply based on those items alone.

However, there are a number of more obvious objects you can use to identify a swinging suburbanite.

Pampas grass planted in a person’s front yard is one telltale sign you’ve got a neighbor with a busy bedroom.

“There is that connotation,” Nick Coslett, marketing manager for Palmstead Nurseries, told the Sun, saying that many non-swingers have even clocked on to the code.

The Guardian spoke with nursery sellers who said sales of the plant have plummeted by about 50% in the past five years as horrified gardeners realized they may be sending out the wrong message with their horticulture.

Meanwhile, upside-down pineapples have joined pampas grass as a swinger symbol.

Many brazen swingers are placing the upturned fruits outside their homes, while other suburbanites are using the symbol in subtler ways.

According to the Sun, some partner swappers have a door knocker in the shape of a pineapple in front of their homes, while others have the frisky fruit printed onto their doormats.

… Cooper Beckett, host of the “Life on the Swingset” podcast, said it’s an obvious symbol for other swingers to pick up on.

“If someone wearing a black ring on their right hand approaches you, start a conversation with them,” he said. “Say ‘I see you’re wearing a black ring on your right hand. Maybe we are in the same club.’ “

Additionally, if a woman is wearing an anklet or a toe ring, she may be advertising that she is into an alternative sexual lifestyle, the website Bigger Love proclaims.


Related:

(Link): Perverted Christian Couple Wants to “Wife Swap” (For Sex) With Other Christian Couple – Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

(Link): New ‘Christian Swingers’ Dating Site Offers Faithful Couples Chance to ‘Hookup’

(Link):  Christian Swingers: Body-building Christian Couple Advocates and Practices Wife Swapping – and the wife calls this lifestyle “pure”

(Link):  Married Virgin Asexual Woman Allows Her Husband To Have Sex with Other Women – Why Christians Need to Emphasize Sexual Self Control For Everyone, Not Just Teen Girls

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link):  Christians Are Now Being Asked to Accept Polyamory by John Ellis

(Link):  New York Times: Respect Your Daughter’s Choice To Be A Married Man’s Mistress by T. Justice

(Link): ‘It’s like living with adultery on a daily basis and having the woman come home’: Former sister wife exposes oppressive realities of polygamy

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