Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist
If any of the usual conservative commentators, male or female, get wind of this article by this psychologist, they will somehow try to pin the blame for more men going single longer – on all women, or on feminism.
I’m a conservative who doesn’t agree with progressive woke ideology, but I’ve noticed that other conservatives, despite claiming to believe in the concept of ‘personal responsibility’ never- the- less do not want to hold men accountable for the failures of men, whether on the individual level or men as a group.
Then, these same conservatives, who bemoan the “victimhood” mentality of progressivism, go on to depict all men as being poor, put upon victims.
If men of today are finding it more difficult to get dates, they need to take personal responsibility and work on improving themselves, rather than go the usual “blame feminism” or “blame all women” route, which is what they normally do.
I can see secular and Christian conservatives blaming women for this phenomenon – they are going to blame and shame women, and yell at women to lower their standards.
I find it absolutely refreshing to learn from these articles that women are now vastly out-numbered on dating sites.
I think I read the figure is 62%; that is, 62% of the participants on dating sites are male, the rest are female, so that women have the pick of the litter, LOL. This is a nice turn around.
This is the total opposite of churches.
Most churches have gender imbalances that favor single men – most churches have way more single women than single men. If you’re a single, practicing Christian woman that wants marriage, you need to dump the “equally yoked” rule and perhaps giving dating sites a second look.
Not that dating sites and apps are a god-send, because there are weirdos, rapists, and wackos on there, but you have more single men to choose from on dating sites than in many churches.
Dating apps and a drastically changing relationship landscape.
- Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.
- Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users, lowering their chances for matches.
- Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations.
(Link): Number of ‘lonely, single’ men is on the rise as women with higher dating standards look for partners who are are ’emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’, says psychologist
August 15, 2022
by Jessica Green
Men are lonelier than ever as they struggle to meet the higher dating standards of modern women, according to a psychologist.
American psychologist Greg Matos wrote in a recent Psychology Today article that the current state of young and middle-aged men’s love lives shows they need to ‘address a skills deficit’.
He said: ‘I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’.
Yet, he claimed he’s found that modern men’s biggest problem is communication, which is ‘the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love’.
It comes as data shows dating apps are overrun with men – who represent 62 per cent of users – and figures collected in the US in 2019 showed more men than women were single.
Dr Matos said society fails to teach young boys the importance of communication, which has resulted in growing numbers of unintentionally single men.
‘Over the last 30 years, men have become a larger portion of that growing group of long-term single people,’ explained the psychologist.
‘And while you don’t actually need to be in a relationship to be happy, men typically are happier and healthier when partnered.’
He also said the overwhelming number of online dating options has led to both men and women becoming ‘increasingly selective’, and competition is fierce.
Single men are statistically less happy, more likely to be unemployed and financially unstable.
Data points to societal changes that have taken place even in just the past few decades which allows lots more women to make informed choices about their relationships.
— end —
According to Psychology Today, “dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as healthy relationship standards increase.” Oh.
By Kylie Cheung
We often hear from men about this “once great” country—a country where women were handed off from father to husband not unlike a football, where we couldn’t open a bank account or see a doctor without the express permission of our husband.
Well, it’s increasingly clear why the “good old days” hold such a romantic appeal to men today: A new Psychology Today article posits that modern dating’s higher standards for straight men have created more “lonely, single men” than ever—and the psychologist writing the column pretty much says that men need to fix everything about themselves or die alone, which sounds like a fun little choice.
According to author Greg Matos, because men comprise approximately 62% of dating app users, their chances for matches—let alone successful in-person meet-ups and eventual relationships—are dramatically lower out of the gate.
Further, he writes, “dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as healthy relationship standards increase.” Ouch! The article also cites a recent Pew Research study that (Link): found men are now “more likely than women to be unpartnered, which wasn’t the case 30 years ago.”
Matos says he regularly holds roundtable-like discussions with women ages 25 to 45, and hears that they “prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.”
Somehow, these aren’t exactly fitting descriptors for many single straight men out there. But unless they work on themselves, perhaps seeking out “some individual therapy,” straight women are increasingly better positioned to have their pick of other suitors who actually meet their standards.
None of this is meant for us to wear rose-tinted glasses when appraising modern dating, which is very often still garbage for women who date men (though marital rape being recognized as a crime is certainly a relatively new perk!).
… The knowledge that single straight men are running out of options unless they acquire the skills to be in healthy and supportive relationships is validating—but it also comes with its own set of concerns.
Growing numbers of “lonely, single men” absolutely sounds like a recipe for more self-victimizing incels, more anti-feminist backlash, and more heated discussions on internet message boards that all too often breed violence.
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Again, if conservatives bother to comment on this guy’s findings, they will BLAME women or feminism for the failings of men, and they will demand that women date men they don’t want to date
– Jordan Peterson, sexist slob he is, actually suggested something similar (Google “Jordan Peterson enforced monogamy” and you’ll find articles like this one)
Conservatives, who have turned marriage into an idol they worship and who always pity men, will insist that women lower their standards to give those poor, poor victim men a chance (Christians have already been doing this for years now), and secular sources also occasionally like to claim that women are “too picky” and should just date any guy with a pulse.
Our culture, both secular and religious, always favors males across many issues, over and above females. It’s unfair to women. I mean natal women, not the obnoxious ass clown males who say they “identify” as women – the world is on their side too, at the expense of actual, biological women.
(Link): Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage
(Link): Men Are Actually Blaming All Women for The Misogynic Progressive ‘Transwoman’ Lunacy – and not crediting feminists who’ve been speaking out on the issue for years – Men Like Rufo and Walsh Don’t Seem to Want to Share the Credit with Women
(Link): Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?
(Link): The Federalist Writers Continue to Disregard That Some of Their Readers Are Conservative, Single, and Childless – Re: “Childless Chris Evans’ Inspiring Condemnation Of Anti-LGBT Bigots: ‘Those People Die Off Like Dinosaurs’”
(Link): “I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)
(Link): “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site
(Link): What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue)