Women Feel More Sexual Desire When Their Partners Do Chores
This study will deeply disappoint any of the sexist incel, mra (“men’s rights advocates”), and mgtow (“men going their own way”) idiots online, but also the Christian sexists who promote Christian sexism under Christian patriarchy and Christian complementarianism.
By Simone Buzwell & Eva johansen
When a comic about “mental load” went viral in 2017, it sparked conversations about the invisible workload women carry. Even when women are in paid employment, they remember their mother-in-law’s birthday, know what’s in the pantry and organise the plumber. This mental load often goes unnoticed.
Women also continue to do more housework and childcare than their male partners.
This burden has been exacerbated over the recent pandemic (homeschooling anyone?), leaving women feeling exhausted, anxious and resentful.
As sexuality researchers, we wondered, with all this extra work, do women have any energy left for sex?
Our study, published in the Journal of Sex Research, shows women in equal relationships (in terms of housework and the mental load) are more satisfied with their relationships and, in turn, feel more sexual desire than those in unequal relationships.
…Relationships are especially important to female desire: relationship dissatisfaction is a top risk factor for low desire in women, even more than the physiological impacts of age and menopause. Clearly, relationship factors are critical to understanding female sexual desire.
… The findings were stark. Women who rated their relationships as equal also reported greater relationship satisfaction and higher dyadic desire (intertwined with the dynamics of the relationship) than other women in the study.
…Other relationship factors are involved. We found children increased the workload for women, leading to lower relationship equity and consequently, lower sexual desire.
Relationship length also played a role. Research shows long-term relationships are associated with decreasing desire for women, and this is often attributed to the tedium of over-familiarity (think of the bored, sexless wives in 90s sitcoms).
However our research indicates relationship boredom is not the reason, with the increasing inequity over the course of a relationship often the cause of women’s disinterest in sex.
The longer some relationships continue, the more unfair they become, lowering women’s desire. This may be because women take on managing their partner’s relationships, as well as their own (“It’s time we had your best friend over for dinner”).
And while domestic housework may start as equally shared, over time, women tend to do more household tasks.
…What happens next?
Our findings suggest one response to low desire in women could be to address the amount of work women have to take on in relationships.
The link between relationship satisfaction and female sexual desire has been firmly established in previous research but our findings explain how this dynamic works: women’s sense of fairness within a relationship forecasts their contentment, which has repercussions on their desire for their partner.