Help! Can I Use My Dead Wife’s Vibrator With My New Girlfriend?
I can’t believe I didn’t stumble across this bizarre perversion when it was first published back in 2013 (this is a re-print).
A lot of Americans spend a lot of time shaming adults over the age of 25 or so for still being virgins as being freaks or odd-balls, but the real odd-balls and freaks are people having sex who do gross, weird things like think it may be okay to pawn off their dead wife’s vibrator on their new girlfriend, I mean, WTF?
(Link): Help! Can I Use My Dead Wife’s Vibrator With My New Girlfriend?
Is This Creepy?
August 7, 2022 (originally printed in 2013)
by Slate Staff
Dear Prudence,
In the summer of 2011 my wife and I purchased a top-of-the-line Jopen vibrator. We used it a few times and were just beginning to really integrate it into our sex lives when my wife died suddenly of a heart attack. (The vibrator had nothing to do with that.)
Now, more than a year later, I’ve begun to date again. I’ve met a woman with an open mind, and I’m thinking she might be interested in using the vibrator.
But I’m not sure how, or whether, to suggest it.
Is it creepy to offer a dead woman’s vibrator to someone else?
And if so what else can I do with it? Sell it on Craigslist?
It’s an expensive piece of equipment, barely used, and it should be employed (and loved) once again.
All of my wife’s other major possessions found wonderful new homes with dear friends of hers.
But then again, a vibrator’s got a different—well, vibe about it. Sell it, toss it, or share it?
(Response):
Talk about a buzz kill. I can’t even imagine raising the idea of asking your new squeeze to party with a vibrator “loved” by your late wife. Even if you’ve cleaned it off with antibacterial toy cleaning spray, this suggestion is going to cause unnecessary friction.
I understand there is a piece of equipment, one permanently attached to you, that has been washed and used again with your new love. But paradoxically, intimate inanimate objects can feel more personal, and sharing certain ones would likely make anyone shudder.
If just before her death your wife had bought a $140 Philips Sonicare HX6932/10 electric toothbrush, offering it to your girlfriend would make her gag.
The Vanity by Jopen is also $140, comes in magenta, and its motor is apparently so powerful that when the user comes she’s probably magenta herself.
But imagine trying to explain to your girlfriend that your wife only had a short time to enjoy her Jopen before her heart gave out—unrelated to the use of this equipment.
There’s the rub: you don’t actually want to have that conversation.
As for selling it on Craigslist, yes it’s possible that could find the vibrator a new home. But I would not want to meet the kind of person who would ring my bell in order to get a used vibrator.
I understand you consider your Jopen investment-grade, but sometimes expenses just can’t be recouped. —Emily Yoffe [Originally published in March 2013]
Related:
(Link): Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh
(Link): The Next Security Risk May Be Your Vibrator by A. Rizer
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