Liberal Author Says the Family Unit is ‘A Terrible Way to Satisfy … Love and Care,’ Calls to Abolish It – The Pros and Cons of Her View
Well, I am a conservative, and I am not “anti Nuclear Family,” so I cannot say I agree with the idea of abolishing The Nuclear Family.
On the other hand, as I’ve stated numerous times on this blog, married couples have been shown in studies to be too self-absorbed (they meet all the needs of their spouse and kids while not extending help or care to those outside their nuclear family, and the Bible itself notes in 1 Corinthians 7 that married people are more concerned with meeting the needs of their spouse than in doing God’s work).
Too many conservatives place too much emphasis on the Nuclear Family, especially religious persons. The Bible simply does not command people to marry – sorry, but the one call to widows to re-marry does not establish that marriage for the never-married is a requirement, or that the command is timeless for all people – and the Bible does not say that marriage or The Family Unit will save or rescue a society.
The Bible says the problem with a nation is that each individual is a sinner before God, and the only solution to that is for the individual to put saving faith in Jesus. The Bible does not prescribe marriage and establishing the Nuclear Family as a solution.
An un-due emphasis on the “family” unnecessarily marginalizes single adults, widows, the divorced, the infertile among us – the Bible says the purest religion is to help the widow and the orphan (see James 1:27), not to minister to The Nuclear Family.
There are problems with the Nuclear Family, with conservatives turning it into a deity that they worship and place an unhealthy fixation upon (among other issues), but I also do not support communism, marxism, or eliminating the Nuclear Family.
I do not support abortion – that topic is raised below. The woman discussed below who is arguing against the Nuclear Family supports abortion; I do not.
(Link): Author Sophie Lewis’ forthcoming book is titled ‘Abolish the Family’
In a forthcoming book titled “Abolish the Family,” the author “makes the case for family abolition,” according to a book description that calls author Sophie Lewis a “leading feminist critic.”
I have additional commentary and resources below this link and report:
(Link): Liberal author says the family unit is ‘a terrible way to satisfy… love & care,’ calls to abolish it
Sophie Lewis previously called for women to embrace abortion as justified killing
Sept 25, 2022
By Lindsay Kornick | Fox News
Feminist theorist and author Sophie Lewis was the subject of an article on Friday in the UK’s The New Statesman website publication following her new book “Abolish the Family.”
Historian Erin Magalaque discussed Lewis’ book which described the family unit as “a terrible way to satisfy all of our desires for love, care, nourishment” and was highly critical of suggestions otherwise.
“The family isn’t actually any good at creating intimacy, Lewis argues; the family creates, in fact, a dearth of care, with shreds and scraps of intimacy fought out between overworked parents and totally dependent kids, hidden behind the locked doors of private property,” Magalaque wrote.
Magalaque complimented Lewis’ efforts to mock what she called “inevitable knee-jerk” reactions to calls to abolish the family unit.
“Lewis is clear-eyed and witty about the inevitable knee-jerk reaction to calls for family abolition. (‘So! The left is trying to take grandma away, now, and confiscate the kids, and this is supposed to be progressive? What the f**k?’) And it’s true that family abolition, like other abolitionist movements, presents certain discomforts. Maybe you love your family! Or maybe you just like cooking in your own kitchen. Lewis acknowledges these discomforts, and asks us to imagine beyond them,” Magalaque wrote.
Magalaque noted the feminists like Lewis also frame the family unit through a communistic lens, referring to families as the “narrowly bourgeois love of biological parenthood” and communal relationships as a red love, a social love.
“The family, Lewis and other abolitionists and feminists argue, privatises care. The legal and economic structure of the nuclear household warps love and intimacy into abuse, ownership, scarcity. Children are private property, legally owned and fully economically dependent on their parents. The hard work of care – looking after children, cooking and cleaning – is hidden away and devalued, performed for free by women or for scandalously low pay by domestic workers,” she said.
Although the article had some criticisms against Lewis’ arguments, Magalaque suggested that the “revolutionary” ideas she posed could be necessary following the economic issues today.
“Burned out from pandemic parenting, facing immense childcare shortages and costs, women are leaving the workforce in record numbers, and in the U.S., forced birth and baby formula shortages are making crisis-parenting the rule, not the exception. The call for a revolutionary way of reconfiguring how we care for each other is more essential than ever, and Lewis’s manifesto is an irrepressible spark to our very tired imaginations,” Magalaque described.
The New Statesman promoted this article on its Twitter account on Saturday, leading to backlash from social media users.
Conservative columnist Chad Felix Greene tweeted, “They tell you exactly what they believe.”
…Lewis previously published an article on The Nation following the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade that women should embrace the fact that abortion is the justified killing of an unborn life.
— end excerpts —
To re-state my position, I am not “anti-family,” so I do not support progressive views and arguments that seek to totally abolish the family unit, or liberals or progressives that try to argue women out of marrying and having children.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I also do NOT support secular or religious conservatives who go the opposite route, who have the tendency to turn The Family Unit into an idol, who shame single, childless adults for being single and childless and try to shame, pressure, guilt, or fear monger adults into marrying and/or having children if they don’t truly want to do one or the other.
Allow adults to make up their own minds on these issues! It’s not the place of either political side or any think tank or religion to pressure or shame an adult into major life choices like marriage vs. singleness, etc.
Both the left and the right are in error on these subjects.
I have more material on my blog by others pointing out the problems with The Nuclear Family or with how Christians “worship” the Nuclear Family under “Related” below.
(Link): The Nuclear Family Has Failed – by Yoram Hazony – Re: How the Formerly Extended, “Traditional” Family Was Better for Individuals and Societies
(Link): Do Married Couples Slight Their Family Members as Well as Their Friends? / “Greedy Marriages”
(Link): The Nuclear Family Was A Mistake – by David Brooks – and Related Links
(Link): Fox News Channel Guest Encourages Female Host To Quit, Get Married, Have Babies – Look, I’m Right Wing, But Also A Never-Married Woman, and I Find This Obnoxious
(Link): Pregnant Wife, 21, Left Fighting for Life with Full Body Burns After Enraged Husband Set Fire to Her ‘Because She Refused to Have an Abortion’
(Link): Billboards by Leftists Imploring that Everyone Should Stop Having Kids Start Popping Up
(Link): A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates
(Link): Time to End ‘Nuclear Family Privilege’ – Let’s Overcome Irrational Nostalgia for a Version of Family Long Since Transformed
(Link): Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?
(Link): Why Christians Need To Stress Spiritual Family Over the Nuclear Family – People with no flesh and blood relations including Muslims who Convert to Christianity
(Link): Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer
(Link): Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay
(Link): BreakPoint Unfortunately Pushing the False and Un-Biblical “Society Needs Marriage and the Nuclear Family” Rhetoric (and I say this as a Conservative)
(Link): Christian Complementarian Owen Strachan Pushing “the Nuclear Family” Narrative – Unfortunately. (The Bible Does Not Prescribe The Family or Marriage as Cures for Individual or Societal Sin)
(Link): If the Family Is Central, Christ Is Not
(Link): “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site
(Link): Southern Baptist Al Mohler Intimates That Childless And Childfree Adults Are Not Human (2019) – and He Thinks This is a Good and Biblical Worldview
(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf
(Link): Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest
(Link): Christmas Morning House Fire Leaves Father and Two Children Dead, Wife and Oldest Child Injured
(Link): Mother Kills Her Three Children, Self After Husband Commits Suicide – Being a Part of a Nuclear Family Isn’t a Guarantee of Happiness
(Link): Florida Family Fight Over Estate of Ailing Mother Leaves Two Dead, One Injured – The Nuclear Family Does Not Make Society More Loving or Ethical
(Link): Sexual Abusers Vote Democrat and Some Child Abuse Victims Grow Up To Vote Republican: Jeri Massi = Huge Hypocrite
(Link): Sex Education Book Instructs Parents To Let Their Young Children Watch Them Have Sex
(Link): ‘It’s a break from the kids’: Why parents cheat more than childless couples
(Link): Focus on the Family Members Practice Infidelity or Homosexuality and Get Divorced and Remarry – links to exposes
(Link): Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah
(Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article)
(Link): Placing One’s Marriage Ahead of The Church – Preacher Used Prioritizing and Rebuilding His Marriage as Rationale for Bullying His Church Members
(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear
(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)
(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage
(Link): The Changing American Family (article)
(Link): The Case Against ‘Saving’ Marriage – Married Nuclear Families Are the Gold Standard Against Which We Are All Judged. by N. Rodgers
(Link): Christianity Should Be Able To Work Regardless of Culture, Childed or Marital Status / Article: Unlike in the 1950s, there is no ‘typical’ U.S. family today by B. Shulte
(Link): Conservative Christianity Stuck in 1950s Leave it To Beaver-ville
(Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States
(Link): Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin
(Link): Are Single Women – and specifically Never Married Women – More Likely To Be Victims of Abuse? Rebuttals to this view (advanced by W B Wilcox)
(Link): Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage
(Link): Married People Who Find Themselves Single Again – Spouses With Dementia / Married People Who Are Lonely
(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible
(Link): Cultural Discrimination Against Childless and Childfree Women – and link to an editorial by a Childless Woman
(Link): On Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
(Link): Study: Couples Without Children Have Happier Marriages / Study: Having Kids Ruins Your Life
(Link): Motherhood Does Not Make Women More Godly or Mature (Mother Suffocates New Born and Shoves It In Toilet)
(Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)
(Link): Critique of: Why Single Men May Not Be Having the Most Fun by W. B. Wilcox (who tends to be a marriage idolater and anti-singles bigot)
(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists
(Link): The Holy Spirit Sanctifies a Person Not A Spouse – Weekly Christian Marriage Advice Column Pokes Holes in Christian Stereotype that Marriage Automatically Sanctifies People
(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single
(Link): How the Dating Scene Became Stacked Against Women
(Link): Christian Patriarchalists and Gender Complementarians Sexualizing the Trinity and Insisting Sexual Activity is Necessary to Fully Know God (via Under Much Grace blog)
(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40
(Link): The Stupid Advice We Give To Single Women Over 40 (from the Current Conscience Blog)
(Link): How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers
(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother
(Link): Singles Advocate DePaulo Responds to Right Wing, Conservative Critics of Singlehood, Who Blame Singles For Breakdown of The Family (reminder: I myself am right wing)
(Link): Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless
(Link): More Anti-Singleness Bias From Southern Baptist Al Mohler – Despite the Bible Says It Is Better Not To Marry
(Link): It’s Not Your Imagination, Single Women: There Literally Aren’t Enough Men Out There – Re: Man Shortage – Follow Up Interview
(Link): What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway
(Link): 60 Year Old, Never- Married Woman Asks Christian TV Host Pat Robertson If Some Are Just Not Meant to Marry
(Link): Gender Complementarian Advice to Single Women Who Desire Marriage Will Keep Them Single Forever / Re: Choosing A Spiritual Leader
(Link): Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)
(Link): Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even Celebrities Have A Hard Time
(Link): Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”
(Link): Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages
(Link): Five Things Single Women Hate to Hear
(Link): List of Christian Singlehood Annoyances, Part 1
(Link): How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days
(Link): Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey
(Link): Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman
(Link): What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue)
(Link): Christian Teachings on Relationships: One Reasons Singles Are Remaining Single (even if they want to get married)
(Link): Christian Double Standard – Pray Earnestly For Anything & Everything – Except Marriage?
(Link): James the Single 40-Something Guy Asks 700 Club’s Pat Robertson Why Churches Don’t Help Singles
(Link): Pat Robertson Feigns Ignorance At Allegations He’s Been Insensitive Towards Older Single Christian Women Who Cannot Find Marriage Partners
(Link): Never-Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers To Send Him A Wife
(Link): America’s Lost Boys by S. D. James (Why Men Are Not Marrying)
(Link): Why A Quarter of Millennials Will Never Get Married (from TIME magazine)
(Link): Why Are So Many Professional Millennial Women Unable To Find Dateable Men?
(Link): Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women
(Link): Study: Porn Use by Men Could Be Reason For Declining Marriage Rates / Double Standard by Many Single Men: Single Men Too Entitled, Picky About Dating Criteria
(Link): Over 10 Million Men of Prime Working Age Are Unemployed in the US and Experts Think It’s Causing Declining Marriage Rates
(Link): Why Are Marriage Rates Down? Study Blames Lack Of ‘Economically-Attractive’ Men
(Link): Should Churches Aid (In) Matchmaking For Lonely Singles? by John Stonestreet
(Link): Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles
(Link): American Christian Divorce Rates Vs Atheists and Other Groups – throws a pall over Christian Fairy Tale Teachings about Marriage
(Link): Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts
(Link): Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?
(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings
(Link): Book About Intersex Individuals Also Critiques How Conservative Christianity Idolizes the Nuclear Family, Sex, and Marriage to the Detriment of Singles and Others
(Link): Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo
(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon!” line
(Link): Another Christian Pro-Nuclear Family Marriage Idolator Married Father Caught By Ashley Madison Hack
(Link): ‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’
(Link): One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims
(Link): A Preacher Who Actually Reminds His Congregation that “Family” in the New Testament is Not Referring to Nuclear Family, Encourages Them to Include Non Relatives
(Link): When You’re Married and Lonely by J. Slattery
(Link): Woman Commits Suicide After Boyfriend Forced Her to Have 14 Abortions in 8 Years
(Link): The Religion of Woke (video) – Liberals / Leftists Have Exchanged Christian Fundamentalism or Evangelicalism for Leftist Politics
(Link): Supreme Court Overturns Roe Vs. Wade, Returns Abortion to the States