No Red Flags: Woman Discusses Discovering Her Seemingly Normal, Loving Husband was a Sexual Manipulator who Committed Adultery Many Times (podcast)
I listened to part one of this podcast (I guess there is a part two), and the woman interviewed (Jennifer) says she knew her husband (Spencer) for a few years and dated him for one before marrying him.
She said both before and after she married him, he seemed like a genuinely loving, caring person. She never had a clue that the guy was online or manipulating 20-something college students at his job for sex, but that is what he did.
Part one of this podcast is about 35 minutes long. I will see if I can find part two, and if so, I will link to that one as well.
Even though there may not always be red flags in a dating relationship (or in co-workers at jobs you have, or in friendships), it still pays to study these personality disorders and learn what the red flags are, because a lot of these warped or selfish individuals do in fact exhibit red flags.
You can still avoid a lot of jerks, emotional vampires, and abusers because a lot of them do exhibit red flags. Certainly not all, but quite a few do.
I want to emphasize that you can run across toxic people in ALL areas of life, NOT JUST IN DATING OR MARRIAGE!
You can suffer almost as much as, or the same amount, of stress and damage from a toxic boss or toxic friend or toxic sibling or toxic parent as you can from a toxic boyfriend or toxic husband or toxic wife.
My one pet peeve with 99% of discussion online among abuse survivors or psychologists about toxic people is that they regularly feature discussion of dating or romance.
Well, I have never been married (though I was engaged to a selfish guy and broke up with him), but I have had issues over the course of my life with being swindled or bullied by toxic co-workers in workplaces or with verbally abusive, toxic siblings, etc etc.
People who discuss abuse online need to expand beyond discussing unhealthy people only in the parameters of dating and marriage. Believe me, you can (and will) be hosed, abused, and used by non-romantic partners in life, not just boyfriends or wives or husbands.
If I accidentally linked to the incorrect episodes below, you can search for the correct links on the (Link): main podcast title page, “Navigating Narcissism,” on iHeart.
(Link – to podcast, via iHeart (also available on Apple and other platforms)): Secrets of a Narcissist w/ Betrayal Podcast hosts Jenifer Faison and Andrea Gunning Pt. 1 – approx 35 minutes long
October 5, 2022 (description of episode):
Jenifer Faison and Andrea Gunning of Betrayal Podcast join Dr. Ramani to discuss Jen’s marriage to her college sweetheart. What she thought was rekindled romance, led to the most shocking discovery when her husband’s dark secrets were revealed by the police.
Listen to Part 1 of 2 episodes, to learn how Jenifer and Andrea came to collaborate and create their podcast, Betrayal and how Jen overcame this incredibly difficult moment in her life.
(Link – to podcast on iHeart): Secrets of a Narcissist w/ Betrayal Podcast hosts Jenifer Faison and Andrea Gunning Pt. 2 – 46 minutes long
Oct 13, 2022
Jenifer Faison and Andrea Gunning of Betrayal Podcast continue to share their story in part 2 of their episode. Dr. Ramani, Jenifer and Andrea dive deeper into how Jen dealt with Spencer’s lovers.
While it is common for victims of infidelity to blame both parties, Jenifer explains what she thinks about Spencer’s relationships with teenagers vs. adult women, and how he didn’t seem like a villain – at first.
They wrap the episode speaking on their thoughts on love, and whether after an experience like this there still can be hope for future relationships.
Jenifer Faison is the host of the podcast Betrayal, which shot up to number one and remained there for several weeks in the US and beyond.
In addition to podcasting, Jen is an Emmy nominated television producer, with credits such as Judge Judy and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and most recently Netflix Instant Dream Home. After building her career in LA for 17 years, Jenifer now resides in Acworth, GA with her cat, California Berry.
So… you won’t always see Red Flags in a dangerous or toxic person you’re dating (or befriending), but some troublesome people do give off Red Flags, so in my view, it is still worth the effort to study up on Red Flags.
(Link): Lundy Bancroft on Narcissists vs Abusers for The Audacious Life podcast
(Link): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast
(Link): Female Social Worker Accused of Making Sexual Advances on Over 40 Moms, Removing Their Children When Rejected
(Link): When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc
(Link): An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful
(Link): They Put Their Faith in a God-Fearing Man Selling Them Tiny Homes. Now They’re Suing Him For Fraud – Christians: Please Learn the Red Flags, Research Cluster B Personality Disorders
(Link): Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)
(Link): Life Lessons After Recovering from Codependency – I Can’t Save You, and I No Longer Want To
(Link): People Using Fake Sickness or Hardship To Con People Out Of Their Money, Attention, or Empathy
(Link): Report on Southern Baptist Churches: the SBC Covered Up Cases of Abuse and Mistreated Abuse Victims for Years
(Link): Dear Prudence: “Help! My Sister Thinks I Should Give Up a Promotion to Continue Being Her Free Babysitter.”
(Link): When You’re in Imbalanced, Unfair Relationships – You’re the Free Therapist, The Supportive, Sounding Board Who Listens to Other People’s Non-Stop Complaining, But They Don’t Listen to You – re: The Toilet Function of Friendship
(Link): Thoughts Regarding the Essay “Married or single, everyone is greedy,” by Esther Wickham, An Essay Which Misrepresents Adult Singles
(Link): More Thoughts About ‘The Toilet Function of Friendship’ – Avoid or Minimize Contact with the Rachels and Fletchers of the World
(Link): How to Recognize and Respond to Energy Vampires at Home, Work, and More
(Link): Why Women Are Tired: The Price of Unpaid Emotional Labor by C. Hutchison
(Link): The ‘Paralyzed in a Wheelchair’ Analogy – Regarding: Clinical Depression – Also: The Cynical or Victimhood Filter
(Link): Not all Narcissists are Grandiose – the ‘Vulnerable’ Type can be Just as Dangerous
(Link): Avoid Getting Entangled with Covert Narcissists – You Can Waste Your Time, Effort, Money or Giving that Exhausting Emotional Support and It Won’t Make A Difference to the Recipient
(Link): Chronic Pain and the Self Pity, Depression Trap
(Link): How To Deal With Chronic Complainers, by Guy Winch, Ph.D.
(Link): Emma the Ex Friend, Part 2 (I Won’t Play the Codependent or Rescuer Anymore – Some Life Lessons Learned)
(Link): Sick of the Chronic Complainer? Here’s How to Fix Their Behavior By Sophie Deutsch
(Link): Offering Unconditional, Indefinite Emotional Support to Anyone and Everyone, or to the Same Person for Years, in Whatever Situations – It’s a Trap!
(Link): An Alarming Trend in Psychotherapy by Christine Sefein – (Woke Therapists Want You To Stay In a Victim Mindset and Miserable)
(Link): Clinical Depression Doesn’t Make People Incapable of Making Choices or Changes
(Link): Mental Illness Doesn’t Make You Special by F. Deboer
(Link): Chronic Pain and the Self Pity, Depression Trap
(Link): Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change
(Link): Addendum – Mental Health and Treatment and the Goals of Mental Health Professionals
(Link): Alpha Females Part 4 – From Psychiatrists and Counselors: How and Why Being a Beta Female is Harmful and Damaging to Women
(Link): Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages
(Link): Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin
(Link): No, Focus On the Family, I Do Not Want to Civilize a Barbarian – via Biblical Personhood Blog
(Link): She Married a Christian Psychopath She Met Via a Dating Site
(Link): ‘She Was A Sex Slave’: Wife of Preacher Reveals Horrific Torture At Hands Of Her Husband by L. Little
(Link): Contractor Finds Child Pornography Stash in Psychologist’s Secret Room
(Link): Prominent, Married Neurologist Who Was Found Guilty of Sexually Assaulting Six Women While Treating Chronic Pain Hangs Himself in Riker’s Island Jail
(Link): Married Christian Expert on Child Spirituality Pleads Guilty To Possessing Child Porn