Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese – Yes, Complementarians, Women Are Visually Oriented Too!

Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese – Yes, Complementarians, Women Are Visually Oriented Too!

Not only will many people find too much excess weight horrible to look at, but being overweight can result in life-shortening medical conditions.

The thinner spouse may end up being the “care taker” to the fat spouse – that is not a role I would want for myself.

A lot of women are visually oriented and care about what a man looks like, but Christian Gender Complementarians have un-biblical, incorrect teachings and assumptions that God “wired” men to be visual, that women only care about “emotional connection” and not what a guy looks like – FALSE!

Women DO CARE about what their male partner looks like.

The woman in the following example says she “doesn’t care” about what her husband looks like, but she isn’t quite clear on this point, because she says when they first met, her spouse lifted weights regularly and stayed in shape – I am not clear if she means she was okay with the way he looked initially, but now she’s not, or what.

(Link): Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese

by Jurgita Dominauskaitė and Saulė Tolstych
Dec 2022

The traditional vow the bride and the groom give one another goes something like this: “I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.”

But what if you are really annoyed that your spouse is getting sick and they aren’t doing anything to prevent it when they can?

Is that enough of a reason to leave them? This woman online asks the internet if she would be unreasonable to threaten to divorce her husband if he became morbidly obese.

More info: Mumsnet [I want to tell my husband I will divorce him if he gains a lot more weight]

Woman noticed her husband has been gaining weight and wants to tell him that if he ends up like his dad, she will leave him

The Original Poster (OP) has a father-in-law who is morbidly obese and has so much excess weight that he finds it hard to walk. This concept is hard for the woman to wrap her head around as she likes to be active and couldn’t imagine doing that to one’s body.

She thinks that she couldn’t stay with a person who does that to themselves and is worried that her husband is actually going in that direction because of his unhealthy eating habits.

The husband’s dad is morbidly obese and has a lot of issues related to that, including difficulty to walk

(From the Mumsnet page):

(post by) LongStoryShorty · 18/11/2022 20:55

My father in law is morbidly overweight, struggles to walk, etc and I have nothing against him but dread the thought of my husband being like that.

I’m sorry but I couldn’t stay, I want to be active and do things and to be doing that to your own body…

He’s quickly heading to that direction though. Him and I never share a meal, he doesn’t eat the healthy food I cook he would just order a takeaway instead.

He says he loves my cooking but can’t see him eating it?? I batch cook things so there’s always healthy food in the freezer but he won’t eat it. I eat my dinner earlier as I don’t want to put on weight, I will only eat in the evenings if there’s a special occasion.

As well if we go for a day out I will eat and the kids will eat before so we don’t get hungry and he says he’s not hungry and as soon as we get there he will buy something unhealthy. This is exactly what his father would do.

I just reminded him there’s some really delicious risotto in the freezer as he said he was going to get a takeaway, he says he hasn’t eaten all day. He’s not taking the hint! Would I be unreasonable to just tell him if you get as big as your dad I will want a divorce..?
— end Mumsnet direct quote —

It’s a guess, but the wife believes the man’s BMI is about 34 and he carries his weight in his mid waist.

The woman wanted to specify that she doesn’t have a problem with how her husband looks, and she never comments on it, because she knows her husband must feel self-conscious about it as when they first met, the man was in good shape because of weightlifting. She actually tries to compliment him whenever she can.

The woman, on the other hand, likes to lead an active life and can’t imagine her husband turning into his dad

…What the wife has a problem with is that her husband will eat unhealthy food and won’t eat the food that she prepared. His excuse is that he feels a lot of pressure at work, so unhealthy food and alcohol help him relieve stress.

It may be a temporary solution, but in the long run, the OP believes her husband will ruin his health and she wouldn’t be able to bear it. Besides the problems that his weight will cause, the husband has other health concerns that he is ignoring and doesn’t listen when the OP tells him to take care of them.

…Regarding the divorce over being obese, people had varying opinions. Some of them believed that seeing someone ruin their health is not easy and if she can’t handle it, she can divorce her husband. They added that it’s not the OP’s job to make her husband healthy and questioned whether wanting someone to change still means you love them for who they are.

Others believed that the couple should try to work it out and encouraging your spouse to take care of their health is a good thing. They also suggested that husband’s overeating may be a psychological problem that needs to be acknowledged and treated.

Not only does the husband return home later, but his job is pretty stressful and he wants to relax by eating comfort food and drinking alcohol

…Whether the OP is concerned about her husband’s health or looks or is offended that he doesn’t eat her cooked meals, obesity is a real health concern that can lead to a bunch of problems. Not even obesity, but just being overweight can have a big effect on your longevity and quality of life.

The CDC defines being overweight when a person’s BMI is 25 or higher and an obese person has a BMI of 30 and higher. The risks of having excess weight include high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes,  a stroke, breathing problems, certain types of cancer, body pain and others.

His weight is not the only health concern as the woman revealed that the man has other issues but won’t take care of it.

…All of these problems lower one’s quality of life, so in turn, it affects your mental health and can lead to mental disorders. According to bariatric surgeon Dr Manish Motwani, 70-80% of obese patients have mental health issues. But the cause and effect can be the opposite and mental illness may be the reason why a person is overweight.

…But on the flip side, she can’t bear the thought of living with someone that is morbidly obese

[The woman says she watches her weight and believes if she were to get as heavy as her husband, that he’d have a problem with her weight gain – a lot of men are sexist ass hats with sexist double standards like this one, I’m not surprised.]

But there you have it, a wife who is not happy with her husband being a Fattie McFat Fat.

Women do not want to date, or be married to, most bald, fat, and/or ugly men. Too bad society, especially complementarians, want to remain in denial about this. 

Men, you aren’t as beautiful as you think,  no matter how much Jordan Peterson, Tucker Carlson, “MGTOW” and “Men’s Rights” Groups and complementarian pastors, keep telling you otherwise:


(Link): Ask Amy: Wife Says She Is Turned Off By Husband’s Fat Body and Muffin Top

(Link): Portly pastors make up more than a third of American clergy

(Link): Real Every Day, Average Men Ain’t All That Attractive – and yes, male looks matter to Christian women / Ageism and Desirablity

(Link):  Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

(Link): The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men & That Women Are Oblivious To, or Don’t Care About, What Men Look Like

(Link):  Men, This Woke Lady Wants You to know You’re “Fatphobic” If You Refuse To Go Out With Her – by NTB Staff

(Link): Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom

(Link): After 30 Years of Great Sex, My Husband’s New Look is a Total Turn-Off – Advice Column by P. Connolly 

(Link): New study: Average American man is ugly and fat – And yes, men, you should panic because American women DO judge you based on your looks

(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): Conservative Christian Sexist Immature Imbecilic Pressure on Women to Look Pretty and Skinny and to Put Out Sexually

(Link):  Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner) By T. Parker-Pope

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

(Link): Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage 

(Link): ‘My 600-lb Life’ Participants Not Only Lose Pounds, They Also Lose Their Husbands 

(Link):  Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show

(Link):  Continue Being a Butthole Wife: Death is Not a Justification for Husbands To Be Entitled, Selfish, or Abusive Buttholes

(Link):  Why Don’t Some Men Realize A Relationship Is Over Until It’s Too Late? by N. Reilly

(Link):  Male Entitlement In Dating and In Marriage  – Single Christian Men Who Feel Entitled – Part 1

(Link):  Gender Complementarianism – A General Response – from a Former Gender Complementarian Who Is Still A Conservative

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