I Went on a Girls’ Holiday for My 40th and Realized I Didn’t Miss My Husband So I Divorced Him
I remember saying in a much older post on this blog (maybe the one about idiot dating advice givers who say, “you have too much baggage” to single women), that most people change as they age. As I said in some older blog post, I’m not the same person now as I was when I was 20, 30, or even 40.
I’ve grown, I’ve learned. In some ways, yes, I’m the same, but I’ve dealt with my baggage and chucked it away, so in some regards, I’ve changed (for the better) – contrary to all the sexist morons who say they won’t date women over the age of 35 because, supposedly, all women at age 35+ “have too much baggage.”
I’d argue that many people below the age of 40 have more baggage than those over 40, since they’ve probably not done the work on themselves to deal with it yet, as an older person likely has.
I’ve read of this same thing before, where women who turn 35, 40, or 50, realize they’re not the same person that they were when they married at age 25 or 28, what they want out of life isn’t what their husband wants, their husband and them are not on the same page, so they decide to divorce and move on. Sometimes people do grow apart over time.
I don’t know if I’d expect someone to stay in a marriage where that occurs. Getting a divorce might be the best option.
I know if you’re a single adult, especially if you’re under the age of 45, and you want to be married, yet you’re still single, it can be difficult to deal with.
It does get easier with age – and you start seeing articles like the one below and realize you can get married and still end up being miserable, and decide you’d rather break things off with your spouse.
Staying and being single indefinitely may not be so bad, especially by comparison of the abuse, emotional neglect, or unfulfillment that married people go through. Getting married is not a guarantee of lasting happiness.
(Link): I went on vacation and didn’t miss my husband — so I divorced him
(Link): I went on a girls’ holiday for my 40th and realised I didn’t miss my husband so I divorced him
March 16, 2023
by Siofra Brennan
A mum divorced her husband after realising on holiday she didn’t miss him.
Stephanie Hanson, 41, from Liverpool, was in Greece with friends last year when she made the life-changing decision.
On her return, she informed her husband of ten years that she was leaving him.
Six months later, Stephanie had lost five stone, and met David Baldwin 43.
Now, the mum-of-four says ‘she couldn’t be happier’.
Stephanie said: ‘I remember thinking while I was away about how I really missed the kids, but I didn’t miss my husband.
‘I was in the worst shape of my life, and it dawned on me, at home, I was miserable – so I did something about it.’
Stephanie enjoyed a ten day trip to Kefalonia with two friends in May 2022, to celebrate her 40th birthday.
She says she had a wonderful time away from the stresses and strains of everyday life – but as the holiday went on, she had a sudden realisation.
While relaxing by the pool, chatting with her friends, Stephanie came to the conclusion she no longer loved her husband.
So, she made the difficult decision to end her ten-year marriage the day she returned home.
Stephanie said: ‘I was having the best time with the girls, and the thought of going back home to my husband was awful.
‘I had a moment of clarity at the hotel that I I’d been miserable in my marriage for as long as I could remember.
‘So when I flew back, I ended it there and then – and I knew I’d made the right decision when I saw his reaction.’
After getting the photos developed from her holiday, Stephanie realised she was unhappy with another aspect of her life.
She weighed 17 stone, and decided that the start of her new era as a single woman was the perfect time to change her appearance.
Stephanie began exercising at home using a hula hoop and drastically changed her diet.
She swapped chocolate, take away meals and cream and butter based dishes for lean meat, fish, salad and soup.
After a few months, she incorporated running into her fitness regime, and slowly but surely, she started to shed the weight she’d been carrying for a decade.
And, after meeting her now boyfriend, David, in July, and introducing him to her kids, Stephanie says she ‘can’t wait’ for the future.
Stephanie, who works as a phlebotomist, said: ‘After leaving my ex-husband, the next thing I needed to do was lose weight.
‘The photos from the holiday made me see what horrible shape I was in, so I started working out at home and changed my diet.
‘It was hard at first, but the motivation of being freshly single carried me through.
‘In July, I met David on Facebook’s dating website and we hit it off straight away.
‘I met him around halfway through my fitness journey, but he didn’t care about that, he loved me as I was.
‘I now weigh 12 stone, but I’m quite tall, so I think if I lose one more stone, that will be perfect.
‘If I hadn’t of gone on that holiday, I’d still be stuck in a marriage with a man I no longer loved, so to be where I am now, I couldn’t be happier.’
(Link): Unmarried / Single People Are Supposedly Bitter & Have Too Much Baggage – and that’s why you’re still single they say
(Link): I Gave My Husband a Threesome – and Then I Left Him For A Woman by Asia Grace
(Link): Dear Abby – She Wants A Divorce From the Husband Who Hid His Vulnerable Narcissism (Emotional Abuse, Extreme Pessimism, Victim Mentality, etc) While They Were Dating
(Link): Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.
(Link): Middle-Aged Transgender Abandons Wife, Kids to Become a Little Girl