Family Are Furious With Daughter After She Sues Them For Stealing Her College Fund So Their Son Could Have A Grand Wedding
Another example of how Nuclear Families do not save culture or a nation, they don’t improve people’s character or make them more happy – it also shows that being a parent, being married, doesn’t make a person more ethical, happier, or loving.
I don’t think it’s okay that this family prioritized the dippy son’s wedding over the daughter’s college future. That money was not theirs to take.
Excerpts:
“My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother’s wedding.”
by Alexa Lisitza
Recently, a Reddit user who goes by the username u/Accomplished_Bar5656 (who we’ll call Accomplished for short) shared (Link): a post about why she had to take out student loans despite her great-aunt setting up a fund for her, and it’s quite the ride.
The post was originally shared in the Am I the Asshole subreddit, where people present sticky situations to readers and allow them to decide who was wrong in the given situation.
Here’s what happened, according to Accomplished: “My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives,” they said. “In our culture, education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullshit.”
Unlike other women in her family, her great-aunt lived in London and received a college education. She went on to become a doctor, marry a British man, and move to practice in the US.
“She funded the education of as many of her nieces and grand-nieces as she could,” Accomplished said. “When she passed away, she left money for every girl relative she could.”
This led Accomplished to believe her future access to education was secure. However, “My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother’s wedding. My sister didn’t care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college. [But] when I graduated, I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.”
…”I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money. [And when] I finally found out where the money went, I got furious,” Accomplished said. “I got student loans and moved out. I am a great source of shame to them and I don’t give two fucks. I am currently suing them for the money that was left for me.”
“My entire family is against me. They all think I am a complete asshole for airing private family business in public, and that I am putting money ahead of family. My friends are all on my side but they are all Americans and don’t really get my culture.”
“My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being an asshole for not trusting him. I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding. It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community,” they said.
…any money in that fund was not her parents’ money to use. It was her great-aunt’s money, and it was meant for her.
“Not the asshole,” user u/Timely-Ask-1327 said. “Your parents didn’t borrow your money. They stole it. I hope you have all the documents to show that money was yours. … If you have a chance to start life without student debt, you do whatever you can to do that.”
Recently, a woman went on the AITA community for a moral judgement regarding the drama in her family.
“My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives,” the Redditor explained. She was one of them, ready to have her future college covered.
But when the author was ready to enroll in college, she found out that the great-aunt’s fund was almost all gone.
A woman wonders if she was wrong to sue her parents for spending her college money without asking
[The page goes on to include screen shots of the story. The young lady says she comes from a culture where education for women is not valued, but one of her aunts managed to make a great living and leave all her funds after her death towards sending all her future nieces off to college. She says her parents got ahold of her and her sister’s accounts and used them to pay off he brother’s wedding]
…“It’s important that we don’t allow others – even if it’s our own family – to take away that which rightfully belongs to us,” an expert says
To find out an expert’s take on this case, we reached out to Susan DeCou, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
“Sometimes the culture we’re raised in makes this type of behavior an acceptable thing. She doesn’t say which culture her family is part of, but I’m guessing it’s one that still puts an emphasis on the boys of the family before the girls. Her aunt had become ‘Americanized,’ and her parents apparently felt that it wasn’t necessary to provide an education for their daughters,” Susan commented.
However, Susan argues that if the relationship is already that damaged, then she would have no problem advising her to sue her parents. “It’s important that we don’t allow others – even if it’s our own family – to take away that which rightfully belongs to us.”
“She can still have a ‘relationship’ that includes keeping them at arm’s length”
The good news is that it’s still possible to repair the relationship with her parents. “There needs to be some open and clear communication between this woman and her parents if she wants to reconcile. However, her parents may not feel like they’ve done anything wrong, based on the culture they were raised in and still follow,” Susan explained.
Moreover, Susan argues that if that’s the case, “the author can still have a ‘relationship’ that includes keeping them at arm’s length, especially in situations where their value systems will be at odds with each other.”
Otherwise, she may decide to cut all ties. “That would be even more sad if she decides to have children someday. That kind of decision is up to each individual to make, based on their own situation; there is no ‘right’ answer.”
Related:
(Link): The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage
(Link): Evangelical CEO Dave Ramsey’s Company Fired Employees Who Had Premarital Sex by Leonardo Blair
(Link): I’m Child-Free by Choice So No, I Don’t Want to Look After Your Kids by Jana Hocking
(Link): “I’m a Divorce Lawyer. Here Are The 5 Most Common Marriage Problems I See”
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