Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical

Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical

It’s more and more difficult for me to want to stick with the Christian faith at all when I see so few people who claim to be Christians actually consistently live out a Christian lifestyle, or who commit such obviously anti-biblical actions.

Also let this serve as yet another example of how “hyper pro marriage, hyper pro Nuclear Family” views put out by Christians simply is not true: Christian marriage didn’t make this couple more godly, mature, loving, or ethical, nor did this marriage improve society.

Further, Gender Complementarian teaching (which includes “male headship” teaching) is clearly false, since so many self professing Christian men are unethical dirt balls.

(Link): Pastor Who Used Homeless as Forced Labor, Three Others Plead Guilty to Benefits Fraud 

(Link): California pastor gets jail time for using homeless in benefits fraud scheme: ‘Appalling abuse of power’

Victor Gonzalez and wife were part of church labor trafficking scheme, according to prosecutors

by Jon Brown

A California pastor and his wife were sentenced to prison time earlier this month after pleading guilty to a charge related to what federal prosecutors described as a church labor trafficking scheme that victimized the homeless.

Victor Gonzalez, the head pastor of California-based Imperial Valley Ministries (IVM), was sentenced to six months in prison and another six months of house confinement after pleading guilty in a San Diego federal court to conspiracy to commit benefits fraud, according to the San Diego Union-Tribune.

His wife, Susan Gonzalez, who pleaded guilty to the same charge, received a time-served sentence.

Continue reading “Church Pastor, Wife Sentenced After Using Homeless for Forced Labor, Stealing Benefits – Christian Marriage Doesn’t Improve Society or Make People More Ethical”

Massachusetts Woman Gets Two Life Sentences for Stabbing Her Two Children to Death in a ‘VooDoo Ritual’

Massachusetts Woman Gets Two Life Sentences for Stabbing Her Two Children to Death in a ‘VooDoo Ritual’

Contra parenthood-worshipping, nuclear-family worshipping, and marriage-worshipping  conservatives, parenthood (and marriage, etc) doesn’t make a person more godly, mature, ethical, responsible or loving. Here’s yet another example of that on my blog:

(Link): Latarsha Sanders found guilty of ritual ‘voodoo’ stabbing deaths of 2 sons

A Plymouth Superior Court jury found Brockton resident Latarsha Sanders guilty on Tuesday of killing her two sons in 2018, Plymouth District Attorney Timothy J. Cruz tweeted.

(Link) : Brockton mother Latarsha Sanders sentenced to life in prison for murdering 2 sons

(Link): Massachusetts woman gets 2 life sentences for stabbing her 2 children to death in a ‘voodoo ritual’

by C. Garcia
Dec 28, 2022

A Massachusetts woman was given two life sentences for stabbing her two children to death in what she said was a “voodoo ritual.”

Latarsha Sanders stabbed to death Edson Brito, her 8-year-old son, and La’Son Brito, her 5-year-old son, in February 2018 and then mopped up the floor, placed them in their beds, and covered them with bedsheets.

She later asked her neighbor to call for an ambulance — but not for them, for herself. That neighbor, who was a first responder, discovered the gruesome scene and called the police.

Continue reading “Massachusetts Woman Gets Two Life Sentences for Stabbing Her Two Children to Death in a ‘VooDoo Ritual’”

Man Attacks His 70 Year Old Father While Visiting to “Reconnect,” Breaks the Dad’s Ribs and Some Teeth

Man Attacks His 70 Year Old Father While Visiting to “Reconnect,” Breaks the Dad’s Ribs and Some Teeth

I believe this took place in the UK (it’s from a British paper).

Does the Nuclear Family, or being in one, make a person more godly, ethical, mature, or responsible? Nope.

Does being a Father protect this man from getting his ribs broken – nope, they were broken by his own son.

I am fine with parenthood and the Nuclear Family, but not with the nauseating non-stop push by other conservatives to keep making more out of it than warranted. The Nuclear Family, marriage, parenthood will not “save” a nation, nor does the Bible teach that they will, any verses about children being a blessing included.

Children being a blessing doesn’t convey that natalism will “fix” immorality in a rotting culture, or that every single child will turn out to be a loving, responsible citizen.

The Bible makes no such promises.

Not all children ‘trained up’ (Proverbs 22:6) will turn out okay, as that one Bible verse states. Such bits of wisdom in the Old Testament are not meant to be applicable to each and every person and situation; we’ve all seen exceptions.

A lot of parents “train up” their children in the wrong way, by abusing or neglecting them, and in some such cases, those children, due to the mistreatment, later develop abusive natures or personality disorders or styles (such as BPD or pathological narcissism) that results in them abusing other adults in their lives.

(Link):  Son attacked elderly dad with casserole dish breaking his ribs and knocking out teeth

Dec 27, 2022
by Brooke Davies

A man attacked his dad, 70, with a casserole dish whilst visiting him to ‘reconnect’.

Peter Taylor, 43, from Leicester, was drunk on whisky as the two men had discussed money.

His father had previously lent him £100 and, after discussing the cash, then asked his son to leave.

But Taylor, a playground supervisor, then flung a small dining table across the flat and launched an attack on the pensioner sat in his chair.

Leicester Crown Court heard how his dad was knocked to the floor.

Taylor then continued to punch the older man and picked up a casserole dish to use as a weapon.

Continue reading “Man Attacks His 70 Year Old Father While Visiting to “Reconnect,” Breaks the Dad’s Ribs and Some Teeth”

Priest Close to Pope Francis Accused of Inviting Two Nuns to Take Part in a ‘Holy Trinity’ Threesome

Priest Close to Pope Francis Accused of Inviting Two Nuns to Take Part in a ‘Holy Trinity’ Threesome

(Link): Priest close to Pope Francis accused of inviting two nuns to take part in a ‘Holy Trinity’ threesome 

(Link): Priest accused of inviting nun to join ‘Holy Trinity’ threesome

Dec 20, 2022
by Tom Kington, Rome

A Jesuit priest at the centre of a sex scandal at the Vatican tried to arrange a ménage à trois with two nuns, likening the tryst to the Holy Trinity, one of the nuns has said.

The allegation against Marko Ivan Rupnik adds to revelations of sexual antics dating back decades, all of which could be an embarrassment for the Pope, who is said to be close to the priest. Rupnik, 68, has produced mosaics that feature biblical scenes for a papal chapel at the Vatican.

(Link): Priest ‘close to the Pope’ is accused of inviting two nuns to take part in a ‘Holy Trinity’ threesome

Dec 20, 2022

A Slovenian priest who is said to be close to the Pope has been accused of inviting two nuns to take part in a ‘Holy Trinity’ threesome.

Marko Ivan Rupnik, 68, was accused by a former nun of using his ‘psycho-spiritual’ control over her some three decades ago to have sex, including group sex, and watch pornographic films.

At the time of the allegations, Rupnik, who is known in the church for his artwork, was a spiritual director of a convent in Slovenia and the former nun, now 58, has described how her complaints against the priest were ignored.

…The former nun told the Italian investigative newspaper Domani on Sunday in an explosive testimony: ‘Father Marko started slowly and sweetly getting inside my psychological and spiritual world, exploiting my uncertainties and fragility and using my relationship with God to push me into sexual experiences with him.’

The nun claimed Rupnik had groomed her, had sex with her and bullied her into silence during her time in the Slovenian convent between 1987 and 1994.

She claimed Rupnik had asked her and another nun to have sex with him, saying they would replicate the three-way relationship between God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

She said she believed Rupnik had abused as many as 20 women.

(Link): Jesuits ask victims to come forward in artist abuse case

Pope Francis’ Jesuit order is asking any victims to come forward with complaints against a famous Jesuit artist

By NICOLE WINFIELD Associated Press
December 18, 2022

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis’ Jesuit order on Sunday asked any more victims to come forward with complaints against a famous Jesuit artist who was essentially let off the hook by the Vatican twice despite devastating testimony by women who said he sexually and spiritually abused them.

Continue reading “Priest Close to Pope Francis Accused of Inviting Two Nuns to Take Part in a ‘Holy Trinity’ Threesome”

US Couple Face Death Penalty in Uganda as They Are Hit with New Child Trafficking Charge

US Couple Face Death Penalty in Uganda as They Are Hit with New Child Trafficking Charge

If these accusations are true… always remember and never forget: contrary to what American conservatives go on about, marriage and parenthood do NOT make people more godly, mature, and ethical, nor do Nuclear Families rescue societies.

Based on what I’m seeing here, though, I don’t think this couple did anything to support receiving the death penalty. Maybe some fines or a bit of jail time, but the death penalty is extreme for these accusations.

(Link): Married U.S. aid workers face execution in Uganda for allegedly torturing their 10-year-old foster son

(Link): US couple face the death penalty in Uganda as they are hit with new child trafficking charge: Aid workers ‘tortured their HIV+ foster son, 10, by keeping him naked and feeding him only cold food’

Dec 21, 2022
by Neirin Gray

A US couple is facing the death penalty in Uganda after they were hit with an aggravated child trafficking charge – on top of a child torture charge they are already battling.

Nicholas Spencer and his wife Mackenzie Leigh Mathias Spencer, both 32, have been in custody in Uganda since December 9 after they were charged with the aggravated torture of a 10-year-old child.

The boy, who is HIV positive, was living under their care in a suburb of Kampala.

Police said that the couple would force the boy to spend the day barefoot and naked, would often make him squat in awkward positions – with his head facing the floor or his hands spread widely – and that he was only served cold meals from a fridge.

Continue reading “US Couple Face Death Penalty in Uganda as They Are Hit with New Child Trafficking Charge”

Woman Claims Married Minister, Spiritual Counselor Suggested They Get Naked For Therapy: Lawsuit

Woman Claims Married Minister, Spiritual Counselor Suggested They Get Naked For Therapy: Lawsuit

Complementarian “male headship,” as taught by Complementarians is false, as many Christ-professing men are perverts, and God would not ask women to submit to perverts.

Secondly, note that this guy is married – marriage, contra “Focus On the Family,” Al Mohler, and other marriage- promoting Christian groups and persons – does not make a person godly, ethical, responsible, or mature.

Also: contra most old school Christian “how to get married” advice, God is not demanding that a person achieve a level of godliness or perfection before he will allow them a spouse. If God with-held spouses from people for being flawed, abusive, or perverted, this guy below would not have gotten married.

(Link): Woman claims minister, spiritual counselor suggested they get naked for therapy: lawsuit

Excerpts:

by Leonardo Blair
Dec 21, 2022

An Iowa woman has filed a lawsuit seeking compensation for emotional distress and negligence after a former minister at Lutheran Church of Hope in West Des Moines, who was also serving as her spiritual counselor, allegedly suggested they get naked in bed as a part of her counseling.

The woman, who The Christian Post has chosen not to identify at this time because of her claims that she is a victim of sexual misconduct, alleges in the lawsuit filed in Polk County District Court earlier this month that the actions of her former counselor, Asa Crow, went “beyond all possible bounds of decency.”

According to the lawsuit (Link): cited by the Des Moines Register, the woman claims she met with Crow for counseling several times in 2021 for “spiritual direction.”

During those meetings, she alleges that Crow, who got married in 2016, made escalating remarks about sexual health. She further claims that he eventually suggested her spiritual direction “may include sexual acts” after proposing that they undress and sit in each other’s laps in a bed.

Continue reading “Woman Claims Married Minister, Spiritual Counselor Suggested They Get Naked For Therapy: Lawsuit”

‘He Was the Punching Bag for His Sister and Her Wife'” Lesbian Couple Accused of Murdering and Torturing a 10-Year-Old Boy Admit They Dislocated His Vertebrae and Jaw

‘He Was the Punching Bag for His Sister and Her Wife'” Lesbian Couple Accused of Murdering and Torturing a 10-Year-Old Boy Admit They Dislocated His Vertebrae and Jaw

(Link): ‘He was the punching bag for his sister and her wife’: Lesbian couple accused of murdering and torturing a 10-year-old boy admit they dislocated his vertebrae and jaw

by Joseph MacKinnon
November 23, 2022

A 28-year-old lesbian in northwest Indiana pled guilty on Nov. 15 to felony neglect resulting in a 10-year-old boy’s gruesome death.

Prosecutors indicated that the abuse of the child, which 28-year-old April Wright admitted to participating in with her “wife” over a prolonged period of time, was tantamount to torture.

What are the details?
April Wright admitted in her plea agreement that she and her “wife” Rachel Wright, 28, dislocated two of Leviticus Kuchta’s cervical vertebrae and his jaw, resulting in his death.

Cervical vertebrae are the spinal bones stacked on top of each other in the neck to protect the spinal cord immediately below the skull.

Prosecutors noted in court filings that the child had been “repeatedly isolated and tortured” by the lesbian couple who, per a report from the (Northwest Indiana) Times, had been entrusted with his care.

The Times reported that a forensic pathologist for the Lake County coroner’s office concluded that the child had died from a dislocation of his cervical vertebrae caused by blunt force trauma.

Continue reading “‘He Was the Punching Bag for His Sister and Her Wife’” Lesbian Couple Accused of Murdering and Torturing a 10-Year-Old Boy Admit They Dislocated His Vertebrae and Jaw”

To Forgive Or Not To Forgive Your Abuser – The Unintended Fallout: Possible Emotional Abuse or Exploitation Of Your Codependent Friend or Family Member

To Forgive Or Not To Forgive Your Abuser – The Unintended Fallout: Possible Emotional Abuse or Exploitation Of Your Codependent Friend or Family Member

I was watching a video today by psychologist Dr. Ramani, who I like very much, and I agree with her most of the time.

I even agree with most of her comments in this particular recent video she made that I will be discussing in this post, but it brought to mind one over-looked aspect pertaining to volatile or abusive relationships.

In the video (link to that video here, and I will embed it below, the title is, “Is there virtue in forgiving a narcissist who doesn’t apologize?”), Dr. Ramani expressed that she pretty much disagrees with the concept that people should have to forgive others, or that forgiving others makes a person stronger, etc.

Dr. Ramani rightly points out in that video that continually forgiving pathologically narcissistic persons is a waste of your time, for various reasons I shall not explain here (you can watch her video for explanations). I do agree with her on that.

If someone in your life keeps hurting, abusing, or mistreating you, no matter how many times you’ve forgiven them and given them a second, third, etc, chance,
you need to accept the fact this person is more than likely NEVER going to change and that they merely view your willingness to always forgive him or her as a weakness to repeatedly exploit.
So cut that person from your life, or limit time around them.

It’s not that I disagree with Dr. Ramani’s comments in the video on the face of things, but, I am concerned for Codependents.

On a similar note, in years past, I’ve also read books or seen videos about how people can help their abused friends.

I’ve seen videos by women who divorced their abusive husbands who reel off a list of tips on how you, the friend, can be supportive towards the friend in the abusive marriage.

These videos, books, and online articles, contain lists of things to say or to avoid saying when trying to help someone who is currently in an abusive relationship or someone who was abused in childhood.

Many of these books, videos, and web pages (most by therapists, psychologists or recovered abusive victims) often stress that you, the friend, should just sit and listen to the friend – just validate the friend, do not give advice, judge, or criticize.

I am a recovered Codependent (I wrote a very, very long post about that here).

I am also an Introvert. Introverts naturally make better attentive listeners than Extroverts.

So, as someone who is an Introvert and a one-time Codependent, I was very adept at giving the sort of emotional support a lot of troubled people seek out and find comforting.

For over 35 years, due to the parenting of my mother and the guilt tripping-, sexist-, Codependent- pushing- teachings under “gender complementarianism” of the Southern Baptist church I was brought up in, I had no boundaries, I was not assertive, and it was implied it is my job or responsibility in life to rescue or help other people, whatever format that came in.

All of that was taught to me as I grew up under the false, gender complementarian assumption (and my mother and father bought into some of this thinking too) that God created women to be more caring than men, it would be un-feminine or selfish for a woman to have boundaries, and I was taught that it was women’s “duty” to be care-takers for the hurting.

For me, most often, the support and care-taking my Mom and church taught me to engage in came in the form of “Emotional Labor,” and it made my already bad mental health in years past even worse.

(I was diagnosed at a very young age with clinical depression, I also had anxiety disorders and had low self esteem for many years. I no longer have depression or low self esteem.)

If you are an abuse victim, or if you’ve been bullied at a job, or you were abused in a marriage, or you were sexually or physically abused as a child by a family member (or by a neighbor, or by whomever),
I know it can be helpful, now, as an adult, to sit and talk to an empathetic listener about it, it can feel so good for that listener to sit quietly while you do most of the talking, and for that person to validate you and your experiences.

It can be very healing and feel like a tremendous relief for that listener to refrain from victim blaming you, offering advice or platitudes.

It can help in the healing process for another adult to believe you and just offer non-judgmental emotional support as you relate your trauma and pain to them.

I realize all that.

But have you ever considered that the caring, non-judgmental, empathetic person you keep turning to, whether it’s a friend or a family member, might be highly codependent and your repeated use of that person as your emotional support system may be damaging to THAT PERSON?

Because I was that person, for over 35 years.

I was the sweet, caring, understanding, supportive listener that many people – co-workers on jobs, family, neighbors, friends –
would call, e-mail, snail mail, or text with their problems, because they KNEW I would always listen to them rant (for hours on end, if need be, over months and years), I would NEVER put time limits on their rants, and I would ALWAYS respond in a timely fashion to ranting or sad e-mails or texts.

I spent over 35 years giving a lot of non-qualified, no-strings-attached emotional support to a lot of emotionally wounded or abused people over my life.

Some of these people called or e-mailed me over job stress, health problems, troubled marriages, financial issues, or, they were single and were lonely – they couldn’t get a boyfriend (or girlfriend).

None of these people who called or texted me to complain or sob to me ever once considered how their regular, negative phone calls (or letters or face to face chats) were impacting me. For the ones who considered it, I suppose they didn’t care.

If you choose not to forgive your abuser, that is your choice to make, but…

Be aware that if you choose to not forgive but to also hold on to your hurt and anger, and to choose to ruminate on the abuse,
and should you choose to deal with and vent that anger and hurt by regularly calling your Codependent friend to listen to your rants or sobbing – you are abusing your Codependent friend or family member, which is not acceptable.

In all the years I granted emotional support to hurting people (including but not limited to co-workers who’d stop by my cubicle during work hours to bend my ear for an hour or more about their divorce or health problems), I was never once thanked.

The non-stop support I gave was never acknowledged. And giving that non-stop support was exhausting and taxing for me, as I know it can be for other Codependent persons.

A “thank you” once in awhile from these people who came to me to dump their problems on me would’ve been appreciated. I never got one.

Reciprocation would’ve been appreciated and helpful too, but the people who were abuse survivors, or assorted chronic complainers who used me to vent to, very rarely to never asked about ME and MY struggles in life.

Continue reading “To Forgive Or Not To Forgive Your Abuser – The Unintended Fallout: Possible Emotional Abuse or Exploitation Of Your Codependent Friend or Family Member”

Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – The Danger of Victimhood Mentality

Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – The Dangers of Victimhood Mentality

I wanted to explain a few things before I paste in excerpts from the article about victimhood by Gunderman, so nobody will misunderstand my views upfront.

I do think there are actual victims out there in life, including in the Christian church context. I am not denying that.

I recognize that sometimes painful or unfair things happen to all of us in life, and sometimes those painful things are due to other people’s cruelty, incompetence, negligence, or sins against us, and not due to any personal moral failings or choices we make.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people through no fault of those people. One can be more sinned against than sinner.

A few years ago, there was a guy on Twitter with several accounts (he seemed to be a Christian), all of which were disgustingly used to mock victims of church abuse or of sexual abuse whose churches tried to cover up the abuse.

I think he later deleted these accounts, or his accounts received so many complaints from others that Twitter deleted them all.

One of his Twitter accounts used the name “Victim Princess,” as if to suggest that any and all women who spoke out against abuse they received by their churches or by Christians was nothing but entitled, petty whining with no merit. I was appalled by his account.

This guy would do things like actually tweet rude or nasty comments at Christian women on Twitter who discussed how their church covered up their abuse by other church members.

Politically, I am a conservative, and I do not agree with the vast majority of liberal or progressive “woke,” intersectional identity politics, which is largely based on victimhood mentality.

In progressive identity politics, different identity groups end up competing for “who is the most oppressed and biggest victim in life,” which creates (not solves) all sorts of problems.

However, while I do think that the “woke” go over-board with their grievance culture mentality, that does not mean that people who complain about having been hurt in life are always lying, exaggerating, or trying to get special accommodations.

Out of Knee Jerk Dislike of Wokeness, Among Other Factors, Sadly, Too Often, Too Many Conservatives Minimize Actual Abuse

While some progressives over-play the “victim card” to exploit and manipulate others, it is still wrong for conservatives to deny, minimize, or to reject altogether that churches do usually cover up sexual abuse in their midst or by their members.

It is wrong for conservatives to fail to acknowledge the reality that most pastors and churches do in fact fail domestic abuse victims and constantly enable abusers.

I do think that most churches are insensitive and incompetent at handling abuse among their members, and that should change.

There is such a thing as a victim. People can be exploited, hurt, and abused by other people – that is not something that “woke” liberals and progressives are making up.

I’m a conservative who has been taken advantage of and bullied through my life by school mates, my ex fiance, siblings, co-workers on jobs, etc., and this through no fault of my own.

Victims do actually exist.

Conservatives can and have been abused and mistreated on an individual and group level, whether by liberal and progressive persons and policies, or by their spouses or bosses on jobs.

At one time or another, we’ve all been bullied, abused, harassed, exploited, or on the receiving end of rude or cutting comments, regardless of our identity or political beliefs.

It is therefore unrealistic and cruel for conservatives to act like any and every person who claims victim status is a sensitive snowflake or is lying about it.

Flip Side of Coin: People Who Choose to Stay in Victimhood Status (yes, it’s ultimately a choice), Refuse to Move Forward

However, I have seen people, and groups of people, who – whether they are actual victims or not – wallow in victimhood status and victimhood mentality, and this is not acceptable, either.

Some of those still participating in the “exvangelical” (ex-evangelical) tag over on Twitter in 2022, which has been going on for several years now, are one example of this.

I’ve seen so many people, under that “exvangelical” tag,  as well as non-ex-evangelical people I once befriended online,
or people (including family members I’ve had, real life friends and co-workers) who may have been honestly victimized and wounded in childhood or adulthood, but they remain “stuck” in their rage, anger, and hurt – they still think of themselves as victims, and they want to be viewed as victims.

They want to be endlessly coddled and validated.

These are people who are very resistant to, or who refuse to take, the only avenue out of the pain, regret, anger, and disappointment and into joy, peace, and happiness – which includes, after a period of grieving and anger (that comes to an end and does not go on indefinitely),

  • accepting, once for all, what happened to them,
    realizing that remaining focused on external causes and other people (ie, their abuser or abusive church) is keeping them “stuck,”
  • to make a deliberate decision at some point to move forward, whether they “feel like it” or not
    (i.e., to no longer stew in anger, to ruminate, stew in past wrongs done against them, to dwell on how life is unfair, to dwell upon the idea they are a good person who didn’t deserve the abuse, etc),
  • to realize in order to change their life for the better, they will have to look inwards,
    which will allow them to get to the next healing point…
  • take personal responsibility for their life, healing,
    and realize if you want your life to change,
    you will have to get active and make changes yourself
    – sitting around all day doing things like watching TV or complaining to people on social media about how life, your former church, God, or your abuser, treated you so unfairly
    (even if any and all those things are in fact true, ie, you WERE treated horribly and unfairly)
    – won’t ultimately help you in the long run, it won’t make the necessary changes;
    complaining frequently, and receiving validation that, yes, what happened to you was horrible and wrong, and yes, you were a victim who didn’t deserve abuse, will only offer temporary emotional relief but will not produce long lasting inner peace and happiness

Stewing in anger, hurt, and regret and enjoying or wanting to receive validation that one did not deserve to be abused, is all but a step in the overall journey of healing.
It is the first step… but too many victims want to stay in Step One forever and ever, rather than moving through the rest of the steps.

Yes, there should be time limits on how long you are angry, ruminating, and upset and wanting to receive validation – a lot of therapists and victims (and former victims) get upset when this view point is stated, but it’s true.

Maybe that time limit is different for each victim and should not be rushed – which is fine.

HOWEVER, I do not support any person staying mired in “victimhood land” perpetually.

Staying in step one – never getting over or past the anger and hurt, refusing to let go or from even considering to do so, being addicted to external validation like it’s a drug one craves and needs – is one huge component of what keeps people trapped in depression, anger, pain, and from enjoying the rest of their life.

If you feel perpetually wounded, hurt, or angry, as long as you keep shifting blame towards those outside you (even if yes, those others deserve that blame), as long as you continue to dwell on being angry at your abuser, at God, life circumstances, or former churches that treated you like trash, you’ll never be able to move on and enjoy life again.

You have to look inwards in order to move forward, and that is a choice one has to make, because it won’t instantaneously happen.

Furthermore, your emotions will never magically change on their own; you will never “feel” like getting up, making changes, and moving forward. It’s a matter or choice and self discipline.

So if your mindset is, “I will make changes and move on when I feel like it, when my emotions change,” that is never going to happen.

Moving on is more a matter of will.

While I do think there are actual victims out there (and anti-woke conservatives need to be sensitive to these persons),
I’m also aware of legitimate victims who cannot or who refuse to move on,

-and there are persons with Covert or Vulnerable Narcissism (a personality disorder – more about that on this blog (Link): here and (Link): here), a hallmark of which is holding a life-long self-pitying, victimhood mentality – these people, of their own accord, are mired in depression and misery of their own making, because they refuse to look inwards and take personal responsibility.

Covert Narcissists, for one, prefer to point the finger of blame for their misery at their family of origin, God, and / or their former church, ex-spouses, and so on. They never want to look at how their attitudes or actions keep them in a limited, unhappy situation.

Sorry for that very long intro, but I didn’t want anyone to get to the following link and excerpts and think by posting it that I am in denial that yes, at times in life, sometimes people have legitimate pain and grievances and can be honest to goodness victims.

I do believe there are honest- to- goodness victims out there and that these victims deserve compassion, empathy, and justice,
but – however –
I am also aware that, unfortunately, some people, whether legitimate victim or not, will milk and exploit a “victim” label to lash out at others, to demand special treatment (at the expense of others), and that  clinging to a “victim” identity and view of themselves will cause them to remain stuck in unhappiness.

I have more commentary below this link with excerpts:

Pathologies of Victimhood – the Essay

(Link): Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – Victimhood Mentality

Excerpts:

by Richard Gunderman
November 13, 2022

[Piece opens by discussing the late Sacheen Littlefeather, who claimed to be a Native American but who was actually of Mexican descent. She wanted to be viewed as a Native American to depict herself as an undertrodden member of a victim class.
As someone who actually is part Native American, I don’t view myself as a victim, so I find her ploy strange]

…Everyone has experienced genuine victimization at some point in their lives. Some have been the victims of political persecution and violent assault, while others have suffered lesser slights, such as bullying, verbal insults, and interruptions when speaking.

Most of us have also experienced situations where presumed victimhood stemmed from a mistaken assumption—for example, a driver who “cut off” a fellow motorist by abruptly changing lanes might appear to harbor malicious intent, but it might turn out that he was merely attempting to get to the hospital as quickly as possible to be with an ailing loved one.

Some among us, however, have a habit of adopting a posture of victimhood too easily and too often, a tendency that can damage communities, interpersonal relationships, and supposed victims themselves.

Continue reading “Pathologies of Victimhood by R. Gunderman – The Danger of Victimhood Mentality”

Mom Forced Twins to Drink Bleach and Poured it on Their Genitals, Made Them Eat and Drink Their Own Urine and Feces

Mom Forced Twins to Drink Bleach and Poured it on Their Genitals, Made Them Eat and Drink Their Own Urine and Feces

Parenthood does not make people more godly, ethical, giving, loving, or responsible. More anecdotal evidence…

(Link): Mom forced twins to drink BLEACH and poured it on their genitals, made them eat and drink their own urine and feces

by Harriet Alexander
Oct 20, 2022

Seven children who were rescued from their abusive mother have detailed the years of torture she inflicted on them – including forcing them to drink bleach and pouring it over their genitals.

The alarm was raised on Tuesday, when two of the children – 16-year-old twins, a boy and a girl – managed to escape from the family home in Houston, Texas and convince a neighbor to help.

The mother, Zaikiya Duncan, 40, and her boyfriend Jova Terrell, 27, left the house on learning the twins had escaped and were arrested later that day in Baton Rouge – a four hour drive, across Texas into neighboring Louisiana.

The pair were kept naked and handcuffed to a removal dolly in the laundry room, and their feet were often zip-tied. Photos of the twins showed deep cuts, bruises and scars on their wrists and ankles, along with other parts of their bodies.

Continue reading “Mom Forced Twins to Drink Bleach and Poured it on Their Genitals, Made Them Eat and Drink Their Own Urine and Feces”

Pennsylvania Man Beat His 6-Year-Old Daughter, Buried Her Alive: Cops

Pennsylvania Man Beat His 6-Year-Old Daughter, Buried Her Alive: Cops

Fatherhood does not make any and every man more loving, ethical, mature, godly, or responsible – as so many conservatives keep framing it (and I am not a progressive; I am a conservative, but I do not hold any delusions about parenthood or marriage as many other conservatives do).

Another example of how fatherhood doesn’t make men more godly or ethical this post….

The police should take the father in this news story and shove him alive, feet first, into a wood chipper. And I am not kidding.

(Link): Pennsylvania man beat his 6-year-old daughter, buried her alive: cops

Oct 27, 2022
By Yaron Steinbuch

A Pennsylvania man faces felony charges in a “barbaric” child abuse case for allegedly beating, choking and burying his 6-year-old daughter in the yard because he thought she was lying, police said.

The girl told investigators her dad, John Kraft, 50, often hit her with a belt and with his arm, which has a metal rod from a surgery, KDKA reported, citing a police report.

She said he buried her in a hole in the yard and left her there overnight.

“The allegations are that this child was beaten brutally, that the child had bruises all over her body, that she was choked to the point that she had passed out,” Greene County District Attorney David Russo said, the news outlet reported.

Continue reading “Pennsylvania Man Beat His 6-Year-Old Daughter, Buried Her Alive: Cops”

No Red Flags: Woman Discusses Discovering Her Seemingly Normal, Loving Husband was a Sexual Manipulator who Committed Adultery Many Times (podcast)

No Red Flags: Woman Discusses Discovering Her Seemingly Normal, Loving Husband was a Sexual Manipulator who Committed Adultery Many Times (podcast)

I listened to part one of this podcast (I guess there is a part two), and the woman interviewed (Jennifer) says she knew her husband (Spencer) for a few years and dated him for one before marrying him.

She said both before and after she married him, he seemed like a genuinely loving, caring person. She never had a clue that the guy was online or manipulating 20-something college students at his job for sex, but that is what he did.

Part one of this podcast is about 35 minutes long. I will see if I can find part two, and if so, I will link to that one as well.

Even though there may not always be red flags in a dating relationship (or in co-workers at jobs you have, or in friendships), it still pays to study these personality disorders and learn what the red flags are, because a lot of these warped or selfish individuals do in fact exhibit red flags.

You can still avoid a lot of jerks, emotional vampires, and abusers because a lot of them do exhibit red flags. Certainly not all, but quite a few do.

I want to emphasize that you can run across toxic people in ALL areas of life, NOT JUST IN DATING OR MARRIAGE!

You can suffer almost as much as, or the same amount, of stress and damage from a toxic boss or toxic friend or toxic sibling or toxic parent as you can from a toxic boyfriend or toxic husband or toxic wife.

My one pet peeve with 99% of discussion online among abuse survivors or psychologists about toxic people is that they regularly feature discussion of dating or romance.

Well, I have never been married (though I was engaged to a selfish guy and broke up with him), but I have had issues over the course of my life with being swindled or bullied by toxic co-workers in workplaces or with verbally abusive, toxic siblings, etc etc.

People who discuss abuse online need to expand beyond discussing unhealthy people only in the parameters of dating and marriage. Believe me, you can (and will) be hosed, abused, and used by non-romantic partners in life, not just boyfriends or wives or husbands.

If I accidentally linked to the incorrect episodes below, you can search for the correct links on the (Link): main podcast title page, “Navigating Narcissism,” on iHeart.

(Link – to podcast, via iHeart (also available on Apple and other platforms)): Secrets of a Narcissist w/ Betrayal Podcast hosts Jenifer Faison and Andrea Gunning Pt. 1 – approx 35 minutes long

October 5, 2022 (description of episode):

Jenifer Faison and Andrea Gunning of Betrayal Podcast join Dr. Ramani to discuss Jen’s marriage to her college sweetheart. What she thought was rekindled romance, led to the most shocking discovery when her husband’s dark secrets were revealed by the police.

Listen to Part 1 of 2 episodes, to learn how Jenifer and Andrea came to collaborate and create their podcast, Betrayal  and how Jen overcame this incredibly difficult moment in her life.

Part 2:

(Link – to podcast on iHeart): Secrets of a Narcissist w/ Betrayal Podcast hosts Jenifer Faison and Andrea Gunning Pt. 2 – 46 minutes long

Oct 13, 2022

Jenifer Faison and Andrea Gunning of Betrayal Podcast continue to share their story in part 2 of their episode. Dr. Ramani, Jenifer and Andrea dive deeper into how Jen dealt with Spencer’s lovers.

Continue reading “No Red Flags: Woman Discusses Discovering Her Seemingly Normal, Loving Husband was a Sexual Manipulator who Committed Adultery Many Times (podcast)”