A response to ‘What Happened to Singles Ministry?’

A response to ‘What Happened to Singles Ministry?’

The original CT editorial:
(Link): What Happened to Singles Ministry? Today the best thing for singles is not a singles-only ministry. by Adam Stadtmiller

I think Stadmiller makes a few decent points in his editorial, such as:

    But ministries for singles over 30 are harder to find.

    The last 25 years have seen the church alter the way it relates to and reaches singles. The fervor to target singles directly is no longer front and center. On the contrary, ministry to singles is seen as a burden to many churches. What started out as a brilliant success has disintegrated into the realms of an epic fail.

    Singles ministry proved to be harder than the original pioneers expected. It took too much time, too many resources, and produced too few sustainable results. We are now living in the post-singles ministry era.

    Before writing this article, I contacted 16 churches about their singles ministries. Many of these churches you would know. I was looking for a thriving singles ministry.

Others have responded to this editorial. Such as:

(Link): What Happened to Singles Ministry? -[rebuttal by Barry N. Danylak, Ph.D.]

    A recent Leadership Journal article by Adam Stadtmiller entitled, “What Happened to Singles Ministry,” suggests that traditional singles ministry is best left behind in favour of new models that integrate singles with marrieds.

    … Regardless of the popular perception of singleness, the need to integrate singles in the life of today’s church is far greater now than it was in the swinging 70’s. In roughly one generation U.S. census figures show those living together as married have declined from around two-thirds of the adult population to now less half.

    George Barna meanwhile has documented that while more than 50 percent of marrieds attend church regularly, less than 30 percent of the never marrieds singles do so. Likewise only 29 percent of never marrieds meet Barna’s born-again criteria compared to 47 percent of marrieds.

    Churches simply cannot afford not to have a coherent strategy for reaching the growing segment of mostly non-Christian singles and drawing them into the life of the church.

    … Changing the mix by adding a percentage of married couples into the ministry does not in itself integrate singles into the life of the church, rather it requires intentionality in the approach of the ministry itself.

    The article asserts that singles don’t actually want to be part of a singles ministry, and “always”try to exit the group as soon as possible.

    This is apparently because the well adjusted routinely “graduate” out of the group, while the more dysfunctional remain eventually turning the group into a recovery ministry for the walking wounded.

    So Stadtmiller proposes balancing in enough marrieds to ensure that the group remains attractive for newcomers.

    But this approach only masks the problem of recovering individuals, it does not solve the problem. A better solution is to be intentional that singles ministry is not a recovery ministry and to direct recovering singles into a recovery ministry specific to their particular issue whether it be divorce, grief or an addition.

    The assertion that well adjusted singles do not want a singles ministry and are always looking for the exit as soon as possible does not square with reality. I have rarely found any single Christian who does not see value in organizing some type of community network of singles within the larger life of the church.

    Never marrieds are the fastest growing segment of the population and most find far greater acceptance of their status outside the walls of the church than they do inside.

    Every successful singles ministry I have been involved with has invariably had a core of well adjusted never marrieds that have had some sustained involvement in the ministry.

    Successful singles ministry focuses on the positive message of the New Testament that in Christ singles are fully blessed members of the body of Christ regardless of their marital state, and challenges them to use their season of life wisely for the sake of Christ and his kingdom.

    Pastoral vision and oversight is essential to maintain a positive focus for the group as a whole while also directing recovering individuals toward ministries that can more effectively assist them with their individual
    needs.

    Stadtmiller asserts that singles’ needs are best addressed in a mixed setting. This is doubtful on two accounts.

    Does a mixed setting provide an improved forum to address topics of specific interest to either marrieds or singles? It is true that relevant topics of interest to singles may get repetitive for the pastor.

    We also need to teach our five year olds things that we may find mindlessly repetitive, but are of crucial importance for their spiritual development.

    One of the precise benefits of having sub-communities within the church is to provide an appropriate forum for biblically addressing concerns specific to that sub-community. Blending singles and marrieds together only diminishes this capability.

    Are the social needs of singles better addressed by simply adding marrieds to the mix? Those who have been married for some time often underestimate what that marriage provides for them.

    Marrieds spend a significant portion of their social energy in exclusive contact with their spouse and immediate family.

    What some marrieds do not fully appreciate is that singles need significantly more social contact with other singles than marrieds need with other marrieds.

    To presume that mixing marrieds and singles together is a better way to meet the social needs of singles fails to acknowledge that their distinctive state of life merits greater social engagement within the life of the church.

    Stadtmiller has noticed that singles tend to want more events than marrieds and recommends, “Don’t over-program.” Yes, that approach works well for marrieds, but maybe it is also indicative that his prescription is more of a forced-fit than an effective solution for singles.

Here is another blog which comments on the Stadtmiller editorial (Link: Singles Ministries: Yea, Nay … or Somewhere in Between?)

    In general, I agree with Stadtmiller’s observations. That said, I think the key to meeting singles’ needs he identifies here is his significant qualifier regarding churches’ commitment to integrate singles into the broader life of the church.

    Too often, churches just aren’t sure what to do with adult singles — a dynamic most unmarried folks in their 20s and beyond are all too familiar with — which can leave them loitering on the perimeter of church life and longing for a place to call home.

    To the extent that churches invest in ministries that genuinely seek to involve singles and meet their needs, I think Stadtmiller’s right on the money.

    When that doesn’t happen, however, it shouldn’t be any surprise that many singles may still clamor for a ministry of their own, despite all the potentional problems that may come with it.

Link: Comment Section this page (The Problem with Singles Ministries)

Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men

Challenging more gender stereotypes….

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men

    Evidence shows more ladies are embracing their inner cougar.

    By Alexandra Sifferlin
    June 13, 2013

    When it comes to dating, there’s an unscientific, but prevailing opinion that older men want younger women and vice versa. Turns out, the opposite may be true for women on the online dating scene. Numbers culled from various dating sites have consistently shown both sexes prefer to date down the age spectrum rather than up.

    AYI (Are You Interested?), is one of the largest websites and apps designed to help users find their mates, but it works in an unconventional way.

    Users allow the app to access their Facebook profile, and people are then are paired based on interests. To sweeten the appeal, AYI also flags any mutual friends the prospective pair share. Users who like what they see ”fave” the profile. If not, they can click “skip.”

    AYI pulled data from its 68 million downloads and 20 million Facebook profiles to see which subscribers are making successful matches.

    It focused in on the 1 million recommended pairings in a specific population of 35,942 users ages 30 to 49. The surprising finding: a woman was five times more likely to show interest in a man was five years her junior that one who was five years older.

    If only the men would catch on. Among the 26,434 men ages 30 to 49, 42% wouldn’t even consider a woman if she was older than him.

    However, if contacted by an older woman, men wouldn’t necessarily turn her down. The data shows that a man is only 22% less likely to respond to an older woman than a younger woman if she initiates contact.

    What are some of the reasons for this? AYI analysts suspect that younger women are inundated by requests from older men and while that might once have had some appeal— in a marrying-for-wealth sort of way — it simply doesn’t anymore.

    A 2008 study published in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly found that women who are 10 or more years older than their partner report more satisfaction and relationship commitment compared to women who are the same age or younger than their partner.

    Continue reading “Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)”

Actress Pregnant With Second Baby At Age 41 (or 42)

Actress Pregnant With Second Baby At Age 41

The page identifies her as age 41, but another link or page that advertised this story says she is 42 years old.

Rachel Zoe, 41, ‘pregnant with her second child’

    Celebrity stylist and reality TV star Rachel Zoe is said to be pregnant with her second child.

    The 41-year-old and her husband of 17 years, Rodger Berman, are already parents to son Skyler, two.

    …However, Rachel, wary of the pregnancy challenges faced by women in their forties, always remained philosophical about growing her family.

    When asked if she wants more children in May, she told parenting website SheKnows: ‘The answer is that if it is meant to be it will be, and if we are lucky enough to have another one, we will have another one.

Related posts, this blog, and some links off-site:

(Link): Ladies Over 35 Years Of Age Having Babies

(Link): Ageism and Singlehood: Ask Amy Columnist

(Link): Infertility/ Kids/ The Male Biological Clock

(Link): Mothers Over 40 in Record Baby Boom

Southern Baptists – Still Majoring in the Minors and ignoring the never married (singles) – Why Church Membership is Down

Southern Baptists – Still Majoring in the Minors and ignoring the never married (singles) – Why Church Membership Is Down
also: Seeker Friendly Preachers Driving Members Away, Worship of Youth by Churches, other issues

It looks to me like a Christian’s top priorities, tied in at #1 place, are evangelizing the lost and caring for other Christians (Galatians 6:10).

Christian singles past the age of 30 have swelled in ranks the last couple of decades, but SBs (Southern Baptists) and other Christian churches and denominations continue to either ignore singles, or treat them like dirt when they do pay them attention.

Up to half of the American population over 18 years of age is single now, and there are many Christians in that figure.

Then your Southern Baptists lament, cry, and render their garments, or complain about a decline in SB membership and a rise in those who consider themselves “nones” (of no religious affiliation).

I’ve written about this before, but if you are a church who wants your attendance or membership numbers to go up, try ministering to 50% of the population that has been ignored: singles who are over 25 – 30 years old.

I was looking over a Southern Baptist publication recently, and in covering the recent SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) in Houston, where a bunch of resolutions were passed, I noticed that even this article chose to focus on homosexuals in the Boy Scouts (BSA), gender neutral Bibles, youth leadership programs, and seating at the front of the convention.

Some examples:

(Link): Southern Baptists approve resolution criticizing new Boy Scout policy allowing gay members

(Link): SBC critiques Scout policy but no call for mass exodus

This Southern Baptist article, from “The Baptist Messenger,” mentioned nothing about never-married adults, the divorced, or reaching and serving the widows and widowers.

The article also mentioned nothing about the child sex abuse resolution, which it should have. Southern Baptists have a terrible, inexcusable history of sweeping child sex abuse by Baptist preachers under the rug.

(Link): Southern Baptists urge [child sex] abuse reporting

Here is the coverage of the 2013 SBC from a Baptist publication – notice the fixation on cultural war crap including homosexuality and gender roles (vis a vis a Bible version using gender neutral terms)

>> (Link): Messengers ‘Round Up’ in Houston for SBC Annual Meeting, The Baptist Messenger

The article below references CBMW (Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood) as being “scholarly.” Oh please! CBMW is a sexist organization whose members keep trying to prop up ways to rationalize the repression of women in the SBC. A far better resource on the topic of gender and church/Christianity is (Link): CBE – Christians For Biblical Equality.

Excerpts (from “Messengers ‘Round Up’ in Houston for SBC Annual Meeting” by The Baptist Messenger); there are additional comments by me below this long excerpt:

    HOUSTON, Texas—
    More than 5,000 Messengers from throughout the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) gathered for the Annual Meeting, which met in Houston June 11-12. On more than one occasion, leaders and speakers pointed to Oklahoma as a shining example of how to give and serve.

    Several resolutions were referred to the Executive Committee (EC) for study to be reported back to the SBC in 2014. They were:

    That the Executive Committee publish a theological position paper on Southern Baptists’ use of gender-neutral Bibles, reconsidering the three SBC resolutions opposing the use of such translations, and consult the “scholarly work found in the CBMW (Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood) article, ‘An Evaluation of Gender Language in the 2011 Edition of the NIV Bible,’” offered by Tim Overton, Muncie, Ind., Halteman Village.

    That a special task force be appointed to explore youth programs to teach leadership skills and moral standards once offered by the Boy Scouts of America “seeing they have lost their way and lost their moral compass, the Bible,” submitted by Harold M. Phillips, messenger from Port Deposit, Md., Pleasant View.

    That the SBC reevaluate Article III of the Constitution, particularly subpoints 1 and 2 to update minimal standards used to define participating churches and messengers, offered by John Mark Yeats, pastor of Fort Worth, Texas, Normandale. Yeats noted that the base gift of $250 required to send each additional messenger to the SBC has not changed since 1888, “a sacrificial amount then, but a token amount today.”

    A motion by Paul Cunningham, a messenger from Oklahoma City, Northwest, asked that reserved seating at the front of the auditorium be open to all messengers and not reserved for groups other than the handicapped. The Committee on Order of Business reported that the motion “was well received” and will be implemented.

—– END ARTICLE EXCERPT —–

No mention in that coverage of child sex abuse in SBC churches, and nothing about helping never- married, over- the- age- of- 30 adults, or other types of singles.

Not only should the SBC focus on mature (as in post age 30) singles to get them in to the church (the SBC has made marriage, the nuclear family, children, and parenting into idols that are worshipped, and those who don’t fit any of those roles are shunned and excluded), but they need to stop obsessing over the culture wars.

Even I, who was staunchly a right wing social conservative since my teen years, am fed up with the never-ending complaining and pulpit-pounding about homosexuals, homosexuality, abortion, the Democrats, liberals, and the Obama administration.

The SBC seems to expect that, say, a shaven-headed butch lesbian who is a stalwart, far- left- wing liberal and pro-choicer, and a big fan of “womym’s lit,” is going to get on board with Christian values and begin opposing abortion or homosexual marriage. This is so unrealistic of the SBC that it borders on delusional.

You cannot argue the un-saved world into accepting Christian values, because… they are not Christian. The Scripture says something about non-believers being spiritually dead, and not fully capable of understanding or appreciating godly values.

Ergo, it’s a waste of time, energy, and resources to try to police the un-saved culture on matters or morality. (The cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, who are we to judge those outside the church should we not judge those who are in the church, etc, and so forth.)

I don’t recall the Apostle Paul spending all his time (or any of his time, actually) trying to topple all immorality around him in the secular cultures in which he lived; he simply told Christians living in those areas to resist from joining in the bawdy behavior around them being committed by the un-saved.

The Christians in the New Testament were instructed to stand out of the immoral culture by not adopting its practices. They were not told to fight whole-scale against the immortality of secular society by pounding lecterns and issuing condemning press releases and resolutions against homosexuality, adultery, or what have you.

This continual fixation on non-Gospel and non-helping-people topics by Southern Baptists is another factor pushing me away from any further SB church attendance.

If I start going to church again (even though I’m a bit of an agnostic now), I think I may try other denominations, even ones that may be more left- wing politically or theologically than I’d prefer, if they place caring for people first, and if they don’t opine about their left wing politics and social causes all the time.

I am also fed up with a church body in America that is captivated by youth. Not just the Southern Baptists, but a lot of Christian groups and churches are too narrowly focused on people under the age of 30 or 25.

Churches and Christian media keep publishing article after article crying, whining, or expressing bewilderment about how the 21 year olds of today aren’t married yet, or how they’re viewing porn, or, isn’t it a shame that 20- somethings support Darwinism and reject Creationism, and oh, gosh golly, ain’t it awful that 20 year olds drop out of church?

Meanwhile, you have people who have been Christians for years (decades, even), who, when they get to their 30s or 40s or older (and haven’t married yet), and they start realizing church bodies are not fair to all, that churches and denominations don’t support every one, but that churches typically only support married couples with kids, and the youth, they have no incentive to return to a church.

Most models of church services and church programs are about how to reach married- with- kids couples, and how to attract and tickle the ears of teens and 20 somethings, and in the case of “seeker friendly” churches, how to attract Non-Christian people ages 20 – 39.

The end result of all this is that anyone over the age of 40, especially the un-married genuine Christians, are shoved aside and forgotten, and church services consist of too-loud, obnoxious, lead- guitar- ripping, and playing of inane “Jesus rock and roll ditties,” with a dweeby preacher who wears skinny jeans, Hawaiian shirts, and flip flops on the platform, all to look “cool.”

As you grow older (I should say, as most people grow older- preacher Mark Driscoll, who is in his mid- or- late- 40s, appears to have arrested development), you stop caring about whether a church service is hip, cool, and totally entertaining.

As you grow older and you experience tragedy, say the death of a family member, you want compassion, help, encouragement, care, companionship, and maybe some theological answers to the pain of life in the sermons and in church groups. You could not care less if the preacher is “hip and trendy” and wearing a goatee and flip flops, and you do not care if there is a lead electric guitarist in the church “praise band.”

Not that I’m a fan of totally mind-numbing sermons myself, I hate boring sermons, but as you get older, you’re more interested in understanding life, how to make it through life, and where you fit in to the scheme of things, and why God isn’t answering your prayers, than you are in being entertained on a Sunday morning. I think that is what a lot of early 20 somethings (pre- age- 25) need too, but some of them are too dumb and inexperienced at life to realize it yet.

And why in the name of Frank would you want to dumb down your services to reach only, or primarily, some idiotic college frat guy who is 20 years old? Or some 35 year old agnostic hipster?

Some churches do this. Seriously. Listen to a podcast by Christian Pirate Radio (aka “Fighting For the Faith,” from about a week ago, see link in this blog’s side bar) where a preacher says in the broadcast of his sermon that church is for the lost – although the Bible says church is for the saved, not the lost.

Further, this same preacher says he wants church services to be like “Disneyland” (yes, that was his exact word) so that the un-saved people who show up to his church won’t find his church “boring” and will be apt to return.

News flash for seeker friendly preacher dweebs: Reaching the lost is one goal or task of the church, but church itself is for the saved, even Jesus said so.

That same preacher said if you are a mature believer in the faith, you should just skip his Sunday services altogether (!!!) since they will be dumbed down to appeal to ignorant agnostics and atheists who show up; he said if you are a knowledgeable Christian, you should join one of the church’s Wednesday night small Bible groups.

Amazing. The guy actually admits to not giving a damn about genuine Christians who need help and guidance from the body of Christ. He is willing to toss actual Christians under the bus to reach a 20 year old un-saved twit. Jesus Christ said, “Feed my sheep.” He did not say, “Ignore the sheep to reach the goats.”

(By the way, there are Christians in their 20s who are spiritually mature, maybe more so than some self professing believers who are in their 40s. When I use the word “mature” I am not always referring to age. I was a serious and very devout Christian in my 20s, and I know there are others in their 20s who are like that. I do think many 20- somethings do not take the faith seriously, and are immature about it, though.)

So, seeker- friendly preacher guy, you’re going to ignore 99% of the American population to reach these small, idiotic demographics? That, combined with one or two other reasons I mentioned above (such as churches ignoring singles) is why SBC, fundamentalist, and evangelical churches continue to lose members.

Ministry to Homosexuals, Exodus Int’l, Closes Shop, Some Christians Spaz out

Ministry to Homosexuals, Exodus International, Closes Shop, Some Christians Spaz out

A segment of American Christendom is spazzing out and pearl clutching over the demise of Exodus International (ministry to homosexuals). See links:

(Link): Hour 3- Former Exodus International board member John Warren talks about the closing of the organization. – Janet Mefferd radio show

(Link): Exodus International to Shut Down; Ministry President Apologizes to Gay Community

Mmm hmm. Spazzy spaz, hissy fit. The anger. The outrage. Boo, hiss. The homosexuals are winning the culture wars, oh no, oh no. Indignation. Etc and so forth.

On her radio program (linked to above), Mefferd depicts the Exod. Int. closure as being another blow in the apporaching defeat of traditional marriage and links that to an attack on God’s character, because, as she says, we are created in God’s image, male and female… I’m not quite seeing how all that fits together myself.

I will say if Ms. Mefferd means to suggest that maleness and femaleness can be reflected only within marriage, and only married couples can represent God in all his fullness, wrong wrong wrong wrong! What of Christians in their 40s and older, people who have never married?

The Bible does not say never-married, virginal Christians are not sexual beings, or that they do not reflect God as-is. (Some Christians really do teach that un-married Christians are not fully in God’s image, see this link and see this other link)

And for the millionth time, to avoid any confusion for anyone who is new to this blog who may be reading this: I do not support homosexuality. I am right wing and am a social conservative, but I am sick and tired of how some Christians make homosexuality (and abortion and a few other issues) into their hobby horses.

If you check out The Christian Post and a few other Christian publications today, there are yet more headlines on the home pages, not only about Exodus Int., but other topics pertaining to homosexuality (such as: “Five Questions and Answers About the Same-Sex Marriage Issue By Jim Daly” and “Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski Declares Support for Gay Marriage”), as well as the other pet favorite subject Christians like to harp on, abortion / reproductive issues (on The Christian Post today, on the home page: “Celebrated Christian Artist Launches ‘Before I Formed You’ Pro-Life Campaign,” and “The Government, the Pill, and Our Daughters By John Stonestreet”).

The only thing missing from today’s headlines on Christian news sites are the standard, panicked reports of, “Oh golly no, 20-somethings are leaving church because church is not lovey or pro- homosexual enough for them, and churches still reject Darwinism, they don’t think Creationism is science-y enough, and teens don’t go any more because church is not hip and trendy enough, what will the church ever do, oh me, oh my.”

That mainstream Christian media continue to pound away at homosexuality, abortion, and contraceptives, while about completely ignoring the absolute torrent, the avalanche of never-married Christian singles past 30, in particular hetero women, who want to be married (and some may want to have a kid or two of their own), but marriage is not happening for them (due in part to a Christian man shortage).

Do these Christians who bray, cry, gripe, and moan about homosexuals taking swipes at “traditional marriage,” or about teeny girls getting pregnant, or teens using birth control, not care that they could be helping traditional marriage rates (and maybe birth rates) increase, if they would direct their energies and attention to Christian women who do want to get married and maybe have a kid?

Instead of spending all your time complaining about homosexuals who want to get married, or that the government may allow teen girls access to “morning after” pills, or that Joe Cool College Kid thinks youth groups at church are boring or stupid for not accepting Darwinism, try taking steps to help post-age-30 Christian single ladies get married, hello.

Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities

Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities

I am a social conservative, and I don’t support homosexuality. I probably wouldn’t be too opinionated about homosexual marriage either way if not for the homosexuals who are absolutely militant about their lifestyles and try to sue the crud out of anyone who doesn’t agree with it, or bakers who, due to religious reasons, (Link): don’t want to provide cakes for homosexual marriage ceremonies.

I also realize that militant homosexual groups are very vocal and active in trying to cram their views down the throats of all Americans, which annoys me to no end. I don’t particularly care if people are homosexual, as long as they’d get off their soap boxes about it and stop forcing the matter.

However, many conservative Christians, and certainly the Southern Baptist Convention and series of churches, remains abnormally fixated on all things homosexual (and on other aspects of secular culture), as well as too keen to try to push Christian agendas via politics.

At the recent SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) held in Houston, Texas, here is one consensus they reached:

(Link): Southern Baptists condemn Boy Scouts over admission of gays

Excerpt (by the way, this article incorrectly refers to Southern Baptists as “Protestants”. Southern Baptists are not Protestants):

    The nation’s largest Protestant denomination stopped short of calling for its member churches to boycott the Boy Scouts, but voiced strong opposition to acceptance of gay scouts – with a top church leader predicting at the annual gathering of Southern Baptists that a “mass exodus” of youths from the program that has been a rite of passage for more than a century.

Instead of being preoccupied by those outside the church, Christians are supposed to help fellow Christians first and foremost ((Link): Galatians 6:10), and primarily judge those who are within the body of Christ, not obsessively focus on judging Non Christians in secular culture:

    What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? (1 Cor 5:12)

Southern Baptists and a lot of other Christians claim they are concerned about the inroads homosexuals are making in culture, not just with the BSA (Boy Scouts), but concerning the erosion of “traditional marriage.”

The deterioration of traditional marriage by homosexuals does not really matter all that much, when there is currently a sizable section of Americans, particularly unmarried Christian hetero-sexual women, who desire marriage, but there are no marriage partners (single Christian men of comparable age) for them to marry.

Continue reading “Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities”

Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist

Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist

Before I post about the serial rapist preacher, I do want to point out that some churches may be turning their noses up at singles for positions of leadership not always out of an outright bias against singles or singlenes, but that many churches, especially of the IFB bent apparently, are cheapskates: they want a married pastor because they get two slave laborers for the price of one, a husband and his wife.

Apparently, a preacher’s wife is expected to fulfill unpaid roles at many churches and in many denominations, such as providing free church child care; running and organizing church activities; and playing the piano during church services.

Some people at one forum were copying “Pastor Wanted” ads into one thread, and a few of the advertisments specifically required that the pastor applying have a wife, and the wife’s duties were spelled out, as “she must be a piano player,” etc.

The thing I find sad and funny is that these are not biblical standards in the first place, and some of the churches adhering to these standards claim to be “KJV Only” or to care deeply about “biblical standards.” The Bible does not say all preachers/ teachers have to be married, or have to have children, or that a pastor must have a wife who plays musical instruments.

Note also that a lot of this abuse against women (and young girls) by Christians are in churches that have a low view of the female gender, which they call “traditional gender roles” or “biblical gender complementarianism.” They adhere to very strict gender role perspectives. These types of churches/ Christians typically believe a woman is suitable for only being barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. The males have very sexist views of women and usually blame females for being raped -much like Islamic honor killing culture.

Now, the star attraction of this post, the biggest reason you clicked the link to read this post:

Ah yes, another married person, and a pastor no less, was revealed to be less than saintly. The guy was arrested for being a serial rapist. He worked as a preacher. He hanged himself while in jail.

Mr. Pervy Pastor had two or three children, so he was a father, too, not just a husband.

And we know that conservative Christians think that fatherhood (or motherhood) automatically make a Christian more responsible and godly. *Snicker*
(See previous post on this blog: (Link): “Fatherhood Not Quite the Producer of Manly, Mature, Godly Men Some Conservative Christians Make It Out To Be”)

News reports such as these do not fit in with the paradigm held by a lot of conservative Christians, particularly Baptists (IFB and SBC and others) and conservative evangelicals that married people are more sexually pure, more morally upright, or more mature than never-married adults (or the divorced) over the age of 25 – 30.

The truth is that married people are no more godly, mature, responsible, or sexually upright than singles.

Most “sexual purity” sermons, books, and blogs about sexual sin assume that all singles, or at least those under the age of 30, are “randy” all the time and having sex with hundreds of partners per week, even though that is not true for all singles, especially not all Christian singles. (Note the ageism, not just the single stereotype in play: most churches don’t even stop to consider that singles over 30, 40 have sexual desire, or they don’t care.)

Here are some links and excerpts about the pervy rapist IFB preacher (even in death, his pastor friends, who knew the truth about the guy – that he was reportedly a rapist – gave him a glowing eulogy in one of their publications. Link to that below):

(Link): “Spinning Scandals Redux” (Deceased Pervy Pastor Known To Be Pervy By All Gets Glowing Obit from IFB Church Publication) (via “Stuff Fundies Like” site)

(Link): Pastor’s arrest, suicide stun church

(Link – from a blog): Two Sides of Matthew Jarrell

(Link): Former York County pastor’s arrest, travels spark nationwide sex-assault search (story dates from 2011)

    By TED CZECH
    Daily Record/Sunday News

    York, PA – In May 2007, the Rev. Matthew Dwayne Jarrell picked up a woman in Texas. She said he flashed a gold badge at her and told her if she did not do what he wanted, he would arrest her.

    Instead, San Antonio Police arrested him and charged him with sexual assault. In his vehicle they found two knives, a stun gun, leather gloves, video equipment and a machete.

    Last week, Jarrell, 41 — who at one time served as pastor of Old Paths Baptist Church in North Codorus Township — was again arrested on a sexual assault charge, this time in West Virginia.

    Police there say he offered a woman a ride home, drove to a secluded area and raped her.

    Continue reading “Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist”

Critique of CT Article: The Real Value of Sex

Critique of CT Article: The Real Value of Sex

(Link): CT Article: The Real Value of Sex (by Caryn Rivadeneira)

The first problem I have with the editorial by Ms. Rivadeneira: the stock photo accompanying the editorial on the top of the page is a teenage girl kissing a teen-aged guy in her bedroom.

So, right away, this is setting the tone: the author is primarily concerned with people under the age of 25 having sex.

The opening paragraphs are not any better: they talk about college aged women (20 somethings) selling their bodies on websites to older guys (“sugar daddies”) who will pay off their college expenses.

Next up, the author gets into how sexual purity teachings in religious circles (she cites the case of a young Mormon rape victim) make the female fornicators or female sexual abuse victims feel like trash, since such lectures often compare a fornicator (not sexual abuse victims) to “chewed gum” and use other analogies that revolve around the idea of “being used” or “used merchandise.”

I’ve discussed this stealth attack against Christian sexual purity teachings a little bit before, such as (Link): here, (Link): here and (Link): especially here.

Supposedly, so the thinking goes among many liberal Christians, emergents, and feminists, no Christian can or should ever uphold sexual purity as biblical and the right thing to do, because God forbid it might hurt the tender feelings of some woman who had sex with her boyfriend 15 years ago, or that of a 50 year old woman was fondled by her Uncle Herb when she was ten.

The sexual abuse victim has my sympathy for the abuse, but I do not see sexual assault as valid reason to ignore or throw away the Bible’s standards of sexual purity or expectation about people being virgins until marriage, in regards to consensual sex.
(Please click the “read more” link to read the rest of this post, thanks)

Continue reading “Critique of CT Article: The Real Value of Sex”

What About Social Security Benefits for Singles and the Divorced?

What About Social Security Benefits for Singles and the Divorced?

Link: What About Social Security Benefits for Singles and the Divorced?

By Larry Kotlikoff

Fifty-two percent of women over 60 aren’t married and nearly 70 percent of those over 75. What Social Security benefits are they entitled to? And what about single or divorced men? Photo by Jim McGuire via Getty Images.

A. Price: One or two of us Americans are single or divorced [and we are also] eligible for Social Security benefits now or in the near future. Are you ever going to address the questions of this “fringe” population?

Larry Kotlikoff: Glad you asked. I’ve addressed Social Security’s treatment of singles, but you’re right. Questions about married couples have taken up most of the space.

Older America’s single population is, in fact, anything but “fringe.” Some 30 percent of males and 52 percent of females over 60 aren’t married. Past age 75, the number increases to almost 70 percent of females not married, the majority of them widowed.

These figures also tell us that many currently “non-fringe” married people, particularly women, are likely to end up on the fringe. Hence, it’s important for almost everyone to understand Social Security’s treatment of single people and how single people can take Social Security’s best deal.

If you were never married, the way to maximize your lifetime benefits is simple: Just wait until 70 to start taking benefits at their highest possible value. They will be as much as 76 percent higher than if you start taking benefits at age 62.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST, HOSTED ON PBS

Post by Sarah Bessey Re: Churches Ignore Never Married Older and/or Childless Christian Women, Discriminate Against Them

Post by Sarah Bessey Re: Churches Ignore Never Married Older and/or Childless Christian Women, Discriminate Against Them In which they are overlooked in a sea of hipsters”

(Link): In which they are overlooked in a sea of hipsters by Sarah Bessey

Excerpts:

    A few months ago, I requested stories or anecdotes about how it feels to be a woman in the church. I was more than a little overwhelmed by the responses, both the sheer number and the content, but I did my best to respond to each one. Women filled my inbox with stories – beautiful and horrible, hurtful and empowering – about their experiences within the institutions of Christianity.

    After all my research, I thought I knew what to expect. And sure enough, there were the stories about women feeling marginalized because they are not married or do not/ cannot have children; stories about women who had men turn their backs when they stood up to preach their first sermon; stories about women who stayed in abusive marriages because of their church teachings; a lot of affirming women who found their voice and healing within church.

    But one theme emerged that I hadn’t looked for, over and over: Women, in the middle of their lives, who felt invisible and ignored by the church, the same way they feel invisible or ignored in our culture.

    These are women of my mother’s generation perhaps, maybe ten or even twenty years on either side. And I heard their hurt and sorrow and stoicism.

    ..One woman told me about how she had led worship at her church for years. But when a new young pastor was hired, he wanted a cooler band to get more young people, and the first thing to go were the older women. “No one wanted to see old women on stage,” she wrote candidly without bitterness, and so she was replaced with young women in their late teens and early twenties. She misses leading worship.

    …Women told me about how hard it is to be middle-aged or to be considered unbeautiful in a church culture which values youth and energy and talent. In a sea of hipsters and motivated young people with self-promotion apparently engrained into their DNA, they feel invisible and over-looked, slow and ignored.

    ..I asked older women in my life and found the same was true. Once a woman reaches a certain age or if a woman is not considered beautiful or outgoing or charming, she often disappears in the eyes of her community. She still has a rich and meaningful life, don’t get me wrong, but they all said, sadly, that yes, they are well-educated or experienced or wise, and yet, they are never asked, they are never invited, they are rarely noticed.

    …It’s an idealist view, a dreamer’s dream, but if there is one place where women of a certain age or women who do not fit the cultural expectations of “beauty” should feel valued and affirmed, celebrated and acknowledged, honoured and even just seen, oh, my goodness, let it be within the Body of Christ!

((Click Here to Read the rest of her post))

Youth Fixation in Churches and how it alienates older Christians

Youth Fixation in Churches and how it alienates older Christians

See these post at Internet Monk:

Wanted: An Adult Faith in a Youth Culture

The Problem With Grandpa’s Church

Excerpts from “The Problem with Grandpa’s Church”

    After World War II, through the 1950′s and especially in the 60′s-70′s and since, America’s culture has been more and more dominated by youth and youth-oriented themes, fashions, preferences, and images. An entire “youth culture” was created and its energy has filled the land. Churches, especially those who have bought in to church growth philosophies, have capitalized on this, changing or throwing out longstanding traditional teachings and practices in order to provide religious settings that fit more comfortably with the lifestyles and preferences of the youth-dominated culture. The more traditional and historic church traditions declined dramatically as the culture of evangelicalism became more and more publicly dominant, energized by the youth ethos.

    That is a very broad description of the religious landscape in which I have lived, grown up, received my spiritual calling, and served as a pastor and chaplain. Having weathered this storm, many of us have now come to lament the destruction this tidal wave of change has wrought to the faith and the church. We’ve chosen to choose what Robert Webber called, “the Ancient-Future” path, hoping that we might find a way forward while recovering a more healthy appreciation and integration of tradition and historical perspective

From “Wanted: An Adult Faith in a Youth Culture”

    I’m done with an approach to the faith that flies by the seat of its pants and calls it “spiritual.” Gatherings that feel like pep rallies, youth conventions, or pop concerts hold no appeal. I need to be humbled, not enthused; to know my place in a diverse, multi-generational community of ordinary people who are learning to “walk and not faint,” nourished by spiritual leaders and institutions that have gravitas and maturity.

    Give me the neighborhood church on the corner, not the big box church on the suburban highway; the robed pastor in the pulpit, not the hipster who preaches from his iPad or the superstar on the video screen. Give me candles and altarware, you can keep the stage lights. Walk me through the Church Year, and help me teach my kids the Catechism. Keep things simple and meaningful. Don’t program us to death with something for everyone. Let us learn to love our neighbors by participating in the community through being involved in the schools, the sports and recreation leagues, the Scouts, the arts and in charitable causes. Give us time to have evening meals with our families and Sunday afternoons at the park or visiting with friends.

    … if you send me a postcard advertising your church as “not your grandfather’s church,” I’m here to tell you right now that is not a selling point. Grandpa’s church is the very one I’m trying to find.

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Related posts this blog

(Link): I Don’t Care That The Millennials Are Leaving Church

(Link): Refreshing: Christian Researcher Disputes that Youths Are Leaving Churches in Droves, Disagrees that Churches Should Be Family Focused

(Link) Pandering to the Youth – Parallel Between Politics and Contemporary Christianity

(Link): Christians and Ageism – Under Age 15 Favored / Declining Youth Church Memership

(Link): Churches Idolize Youth But Do Nothing to Protect Them

Older Single Males are Pedophiles says Ask Amy

Older Single Males are Pedophiles says Ask Amy

Well, well, well. At least Amy of the “Ask Amy” column is consistent across the genders when it comes to insult.

Previously, she’s suggested that women over 40 lack sex appeal (read this), and now, she’s agreeing with a mom of two college aged sons that older, single men are perverts who want to fondle and diddle children.

The letter:

Refreshing: Christian Researcher Disputes that Youths Are Leaving Churches in Droves, Disagrees that Churches Should Be Family Focused

Refreshing: Christian Researcher Disputes that Youths Are Leaving Churches in Droves, Disagrees that Churches Should Be Family Focused
————–
Intersting page. It says that all the hand-wringing over youth dropping out of church and attempts to re-tool churches into “family ministry” focus is ill-founded.

(Link): Family Ministry: Gut Feelings, the Gospel, and the Big Lie About Nine-Out-of-Ten by Timothy Paul Jones

Excerpts:

    Over the past couple of years, I’ve had conversations of this sort with hundreds of church leaders. The denominations have differed, the locations have spanned the globe, and the churches themselves have ranged from minute rural chapels to suburban mega-churches. Yet the script inevitably runs something like this: Eighty percent, maybe even ninety percent, of students are dropping out of church after high school! Can you help us launch a family ministry program to fix this problem?

    ….This shocking dropout statistic represents a starting point for all sorts of demands for modifications in ministry practices—including the launch of family ministry programs. The logic throughout most of these references runs something like this: The standard for youth ministry effectiveness is retention of students beyond high school, and an overwhelming percentage of students are dropping out after high school. Therefore, current strategies for youth and children’s ministries are clearly not successful. If only churches could come up with more effective ministry practices, they could fix the dropout rate and become more effective.

    …. As I have consulted with these congregations, here’s what I have found in many churches: Congregational leaders see family ministry as a quick counterbalance for dropout numbers that they’ve heard at a conference. They perceive partnering with parents as a fix for the problem of a faith that can’t seem to last past the freshman year of college.

    …Perhaps you’ve read about the crisis too. Maybe you heard a speaker mention the dropout statistic at a recent conference. Perhaps that’s even why you are reading this post: You’re convinced that better partnerships between your ministry and the parents might provide the perfect solution to dismal retention rates. If so, I want to make a suggestion that may seem a bit radical at first: The dropout rate is not a sufficient reason to reorient your ministry practices.

    Allow me to unpack why I’m making such a claim: First, it’s uncertain whether the rate of attrition that looms so large in our ecclesial anxiety closet even exists. And furthermore, even if a high dropout rate does exist, attrition rates represent an inadequate means for assessing ministry failure or success. To understand what I’m suggesting, let’s first take a closer look at the numbers behind the infamous evangelical dropout statistic.

    :: Gut Feelings Aren’t Good Statistics ::

    In the first place, when did conference speakers first begin to claim that the vast majority of youth were exiting the church before their sophomore year of college? And was their research reliable?

    The first references to the dropout statistic come from the late 1990s. That’s when a well-meaning speaker reported a post-youth group attrition rate of 90 percent.

    And how did he obtain this number?

    The speaker’s information was based on the “gut feelings” that he gathered and averaged from a roomful of youth ministers.

    Now, there’s nothing wrong with asking a few people how they feel about an issue. Yet the communal hunch of a single group rarely results in a reliable statistic. In this case, an informal averaging of personal recollections resulted in a wildly overstated percentage that received tremendous publicity. As a result, over the past couple of decades, many youth ministries have leaped from one bandwagon to another, driven by the unsubstantiated estimates of a few youth pastors. Another popular percentage—88 percent—has been traced back to the estimates of two youth ministry experts, based on their own experiences.

    Continue reading “Refreshing: Christian Researcher Disputes that Youths Are Leaving Churches in Droves, Disagrees that Churches Should Be Family Focused”

And That’s What Churches Get for Ignoring Unmarrieds from Ages 30 – 59

And That’s What Churches Get for Ignoring Unmarrieds from Ages 30 – 59

(Link): 60% of Congregations’ Giving Not Keeping Up with Inflation

Quotes:

    According to the report [report from the Indiana University School of Philanthropy], “only about 4 in 10 congregations had revenues that kept pace or were ahead of inflation between 2007 and 2011. Congregations with the oldest average age of attendees were more likely to report that revenue growth lagged behind inflation.” Philanthropic success appears tied not only to the age of congregants, but also to pastors’ attention to giving.

So, churches cannot attract or keep 20-somethings, yet spend all their time and resources trying to reel them in (many 20-somethings have little to no income anyhow), and they ignore the singles ages 30- 59 (many of whom are employed and earning pay checks, and who comprise up to about 50% of the American population), and are now filled with folks who are retired (ages 65 and up), and these older folks either don’t have much money to give, or are unwilling to give it to their churches.

If churches paid more attention to the unmarrieds from ages 30 – 59 and tried to meet their needs, they would not be driving them away, and therefore they’d probably be receiving larger tithes, or tithes more often, from that group. But no, they continue to brush off or ignore singles ages 30 – 59 – to their own folly.

And all I can say is ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

And then there’s this ((Link): source):

    The majority of churches say that finding enough funding and volunteers are the two biggest obstacles to doing outreach locally, nationally, and internationally.

Yeah, gee, maybe if churches stopped driving unmarrieds of age 30+ away with treating them like crud and only assisting marrieds and discussing parenting, they’d have more willing volunteers for their projects.

Author Michael DiMarco talks about his book True Purity (audio interview)

Author Michael DiMarco talks about his book True Purity. (audio interview)

There is a link below to an interview by Mefferd with an author, DiMarco, who wrote a book called “True Purity.” He discusses how to present celibacy / sexual purity to people, particularly teens (why is the focus always on TEENS and 20 somethings? First mistake right there).

It’s been a couple of weeks since I listened to the interview, so I don’t recall all the details. Based on what I do recall…

The author discusses how much teaching on abstinence fails because it does not center the teaching in who people are “in Christ.”

DiMarco seems to feel if only people remember they have a relationship with Jesus, that this will strengthen them or enable them to abstain from sex. That may be true in part for some Christians who remain virgins past the age of 30, but in some ways it’s a vague and ineffective response.

It is common for some Christian authors to intellectualize celibacy and sexual matters, and this author is no different. Intellecutalizing the issues doesn’t do anything to really solve the issue or tackle some of the core issues singles face, especially for unmarrieds over the age of 35, other than having unfulfilled sexual desires: one of their biggest obstacles is loneliness.

Continue reading “Author Michael DiMarco talks about his book True Purity (audio interview)”

Pandering to the Youth – Parallel Between Politics and Contemporary Christianity

Pandering to the Youth

I feel this commentary by Rush Limbaugh about political parties pandering to youth these days can just as easily apply to how American denominations and churches are forever chasing after and pandering to youth:

(Link): Pandering to Millennials Will Ruin the GOP

Excerpts:

I understand the desire and need for people of younger generations to be heard and acknowledged. I totally get that.

But the truth is that it is up to you to be heard, up to you to get noticed, up to you to stand out. You are not entitled to be respected just because of your age. The only exception is the Seasoned Citizen population, which is the greatest collection of wisdom in the country (I don’t expect you to believe that).

You can demand to be respected, recognized, and listened to all day long, but understand that no one has any obligation to listen to you. You are going to have to make them want to … by virtue of your achievements. By demonstrating potential. By being interesting. Yes, even by being provocative. Fearless.

Everyone has the right to speak, but we do not have a right to be listened to. No one has a constitutional right to be heard. In other words, don’t sit around and wait and hope or demand that somebody listen to you. Take action. Be heard, but above all, make something happen.

…. I think a political party that reaches out to groups and demographics with ideas that lack cohesion is a party destined to lose because it will fragment. A party has to be about a universal set of principles and ideas that attract all kinds of people from all walks of life. All ages, all genders, all orientations. It has been done recently. Ronald Reagan won two landslide elections in 1980 and 1984. You can tailor your message for individual groups, but not your principles.
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Regarding:

“A party has to be about a universal set of principles and ideas that attract all kinds of people from all walks of life. All ages, all genders, all orientations.”

I think that is one thing Jesus Christ set out to do with the church, but today’s American Christianity is focused exclusively on these types of people:
1. Youth (children/ teens/ single 20 somethings)
2. Married couples (of ages 20 something to about 50)
3. Parents
So that many people who don’t fit any one of those categories feels excluded, and they drift away from the faith, or stop attending church.

2008 Audio Interview with Julia Duin About Christian Singles

2008 Audio Interview with Julia Duin About Christian Singles

(Link): Interview About Christian Singles with Julia Duin, author of “Quitting Church”

The interview also covers the subjects of unanswered prayer, how single mothers are ignored and single women marginalized, Christian views on sex, and other topics are covered.

I recommend this interview a lot. If you are over 35 and never married, and were a Christian at any time (or still are one), you will totally relate to this discussion. I tried to embed the audio into this post two ways, but neither one worked.

Christians and Ageism – Under Age 15 Favored / Declining Youth Church Memership

Christians and Ageism

I’ve noted before how Christians tend to be very ageist, particularly when it comes to unmarried individuals. Most churches and Christian organizations expend the most time, money, effort and concern on singles under the age of 30. If you are unmarried over 30, to most churches, you don’t exist.

(Someone on another blog suggested one reason – the real reason – many churches are so reluctant to allow divorce or to minister to singles or divorced people, is that unmarried people likely do not contribute tithes as often.

Married couples who work have two incomes to tithe off, but when they divorce, one of them will leave that church, which makes one less tithe for that church. I thought this was an interesting idea and probably correct. Most preachers these days are more concerned with money (and control) than with the human beings sitting in their pews.)

I don’t understand why, but there is also a lot of concern by Christians of the fact that a lot of Christians drop out of church by the time they are age 18 to 20. So one will frequently see preachers having fits over this and forever plotting and scheming how to get the young folks back.

I saw a recent episode of Life Today where two hosts from a Christian group called “Teen Impact” were interviewed.

These guys explain that they send Christian athletes into grade schools to instill good values and so on.

The part that stood out to me was when the guy said people ask him why doesn’t his group visit high schools?

He said because it’s too late by then. They would rather focus on grade schoolers.

He went on to give an analogy to wet concrete. He says elementary age school kids are like “wet concrete,” very easy to influence and shape, middle school kids needed a stick to stir because they were beginning to dry, and the high school kids needed a jack hammer because they were already set.

I suppose if you are looking at things from strictly a pragmatic view, that makes sense, but it almost sounds like, “Screw the high school aged set because they are older and therefore harder to reach, so we will ignore them to go after the fourth graders.”

It is strange how the same group of Christians who claim to be concerned for youth (and who typically ignore older singles or their needs), can be discriminatory or lax towards even teenagers (those ages 15 to 19).

As for the Christians who make much hay out of the fact that teen children of Christian parents cease attending church by the time they are 18 or 20 years old:

Christ never said that the church body would be replenished by biological off spring of Christian parents.

In so far as churches can fix whatever is alienating to youth and driving them away from church, because the same factors may be alienating other groups from church attendance (such as unmarried adults over the age of 30, widowers, or homosexuals, or whomever else), fine.

But if this concern is motivated by the idea that the church can grow only, or primarily, by sons and daughters of Christian parents attending church services, this is not altogether a biblical view. The Bible says that Christians are to witness to un-saved non-family outside of the church, not to just flesh and blood family.

Churches should spend less time trying to re- evangelize the bored or put- off 20 year old son of Christian parents, and expend more energy meeting the needs of older church members, and reaching and evangelizing the Non-Christians in their community.
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Related posts this blog

(Link): Churches Idolize Youth But Do Nothing to Protect Them

(Link): Christians and Ageism – Under Age 15 Favored / Declining Youth Church Memership

(Link): Youth Fixation in Churches and how it alienates older Christians

(Link): Pandering to the Youth – Parallel Between Politics and Contemporary Christianity

(Link): Elder / Senior Abuse and Neglect – Christians need to stop worshipping youth – there are other needy groups out there

(Link): Getting People Back to Church / Christian Event Targeting ‘Apathetic’ Youth *BARF*

(Link): I Don’t Care That The Millennials Are Leaving Church – Churches Ignore Age 40 Forties 40+ Generation X Mid Life

(Link): Married Youth Pastor Father of Four Caught Raping and Molesting Several Little Boys claims the molesting kept the boys sexually pure and cures them of homosexuality

(Link): Ignatius the Ultimate Youth Pastor & Teaching Christian Singles About Sex

(Link): Response to the Hemingway Editorial ‘Fecundophobia’ – conservatives and Christians continue to idolize children, marriage – which is unbiblical

Never Married 38 Year Old Christian Guy Wants to Know Why Churches Treat Him Like a Freak

Click the “more” link below to read the rest of the post

I totally related to this guy’s question. A guy calling himself “John” wrote in to the Christian television show “The 700 Club” and asked the hosts a question about why, as a 38- year- old, never- married man, so many churches have rejected him (or left him feeling rejected).

I’m just a few years older than John is, though I am a woman. I have never been married, but I wanted to be. I don’t know why I’m not married.

I have to disagree with host Pat Robertson’s reply – Robertson tells the guy, John, that the rejection is all in his head and that churches do not “reject” older singles. WRONG!

The letter writer, John, may not be “rejected” per se by churches, but most churches, and many Christians, do treat single or never- married Christians over the age of 35 and 40 differently – and that in a negative fashion.

We older, never married (single) Christians are either ignored by churches, or most Christians and churches assume that everyone over 25 years old is married with kids, or, they assume if you’re 40, you have been divorced at some stage – (wrong again, I’ve never been married).

Some Christians (the married ones) let loose with the gossip and slander against the older singles…. they assume if you’re over 35 and never married, you are some how “flawed,” a weirdo, or homosexual (none of that is true, either).

Here is a partial transcript from today’s show:
Continue reading “Never Married 38 Year Old Christian Guy Wants to Know Why Churches Treat Him Like a Freak”