These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

(Link): These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon

Excerpts:

June 14, 2021
by Michael Blackmon

…In choosing to be single and child-free, [49-year-old author and educator]  Turner’s relationship with herself has blossomed. “All my time is for me. I don’t have to dress up for anyone but me. I don’t have to shave. It’s so freeing to go out and not worry about how I look, will someone find me attractive or not,” she said. “I find that I have more confidence and security within myself. I am not looking to [a partner] for validation.”

Turner is just one of hundreds of singles who responded to a BuzzFeed News callout asking the unattached if they were happy.

The submissions were varied, from people who had been single for just a few months to those who had been going solo for much of their lives.

Continue reading “These People Have Chosen The Single Life — And They Are Thriving by Michael Blackmon”

Eugene, the 56 Year Old Man, Tells Christian Show Host He’s Tired of Being Single

Eugene, the 56 Year Old Man, Tells Christian Show Host He’s Tired of Being Single

On today’s “The 700 Club,” host Pat Robertson got a question from a guy who says he’s 56 year old and tired of being alone. (The guy is single and would like a girlfriend, or to marry.)

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – single adults of America (but especially women!) please (Link): stop asking Pat Robertson for relationship advice.

I’ve watched his “700 Club” show for many years, and Robertson always gives the same 3 to 4 answers to single adults who write him asking him why hasn’t God sent them a spouse, or how do they get a spouse?

And Pat Robertson always tells lovelorn single adults to “go fishing where the fish are,” (i.e, visit locales where you are sure to find single adults), and, he will tell you that “God puts the lonely in families,” which is a load of sh*t – no, God does not always put single adults who may be lonely “into families.”

For women who write in, especially if they are age 40 or older and single and want a spouse, Pat will insultingly tell them that they “sound desperate.” (Seriously; he has done this in the past, see the links below under “Related Posts” for links to examples of this atrocious behavior.)

(I’ve noticed that Robertson never tells the older single MEN who write in saying they are lonely and want a spouse that the MEN “sound desperate.” Robertson only tosses that sexist, insulting comment at single WOMEN.)

Pat Robertson also wrongly believes (and many Christians are like this as well, not just him), that (Link): if you want a spouse and pray for one, that God will of course send you one – which also a bunch of garbage.

So, here is what Eugene wrote in to Pat:

What do I have to do to find that special woman in my life? I’m tired of living alone in life. It’s been 56 years. Please help me, Pat. I read the Bible, but it never seems to help. I love all you guys and enjoy your show.

[Signed] Eugene

You can view / listen to Eugene’s question in this video on You Tube, and it’s around 44.25 into the video.

You can also listen to Pat Robertson’s unhelpful advice in that video to Eugene.

But… Eugene… should you read this, I have this to say to you:

Continue reading “Eugene, the 56 Year Old Man, Tells Christian Show Host He’s Tired of Being Single”

Why Older Singles Aren’t Looking To Couple Up by Janet Siroto

Why Older Singles Aren’t Looking To Couple Up by Janet Siroto

(Link): Why Older Singles Aren’t Looking To Couple Up

Excerpts:

October 2020

For generations, if you were older and single, the assumption was that you weren’t happy about it.

Older women, especially, who were alone for any reason — widowhood, divorce, or simply not meeting the right person — were the recipients of sympathetic clucks and dating suggestions from well-meaning friends, and they often felt shy about attending events usually frequented by couples.

But increasingly, men and women in their 50s and 60s are thumbing their noses at the notion of couple-hood as an expectation — or even a desire.

“Dating? Absolutely not. I have zero interest,” says Janice (last name withheld), a divorced 59-year-old who lives in the San Francisco Bay area.

Why single is the new normal
Whether or not people are choosing to stay single for good, statistics show that it’s become far more common, across all ages.

Continue reading “Why Older Singles Aren’t Looking To Couple Up by Janet Siroto”

The ‘Gray Divorce’ Trend: As The Gates Split Shows, More Older Couples Are Getting Divorced. Here’s Why.

The ‘Gray Divorce’ Trend: As The Gates Split Shows, More Older Couples Are Getting Divorced. Here’s Why. by J. Duffy

These news items seem cyclical. I just blogged on this a few years ago – there were headlines out about how Baby Boomers (people then in their what, mid to late 50s – they’d be older now) were divorcing in record numbers, and other articles said they were not re-marrying, nor were they interested in getting remarried

(Link): The ‘Gray Divorce’ Trend: As The Gates Split Shows, More Older Couples Are Getting Divorced. Here’s Why.

by John Duffy

….One might think that, if any of these issues suggested incompatibility, a marriage would end long before a couple was in their 50s or 60s.
That’s not the case anymore.

In my current work with couples, I have noticed a discernible difference in older couples in long-standing marriages.

Years ago, the vast majority of my client couples who weren’t happy in their relationship chose to remain married out of convenience or routine, or even a sense of familiarity.

Over the past few years, many are deliberately choosing to part ways. My client base mirrors the divorce rate for Americans 50 and over, which has doubled since 1990.

Continue reading “The ‘Gray Divorce’ Trend: As The Gates Split Shows, More Older Couples Are Getting Divorced. Here’s Why.”

For Richer Or Poorer? Romance Scams Are Leaving More Online Daters Broke by S. Simmons

For Richer Or Poorer? Romance Scams Are Leaving More Online Daters Broke by Sasha Ann Simmons

There are actually several posts on this blog about online dating scams, check under “Related Posts” below – this isn’t my first or only post on this topic.

(Link): For Richer Or Poorer? Romance Scams Are Leaving More Online Daters Broke by S. Simmons

Excerpts:

… Being scammed by a romantic interest met online is now the most common type of consumer fraud in the United States, according to the (Link): Federal Trade Commission (FTC).

In 2018, nearly 40 D.C. residents reported falling for online dating scams, for a combined loss of more than $92,000. And the criminal acts go beyond city and state borders, involving networks of accomplices overseas.

“These victims are invested in that relationship and they’re emotional when that person does ask for money,” says Kevin Luebke, a supervisory special agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). “Usually they’re told that something sudden happened where [the offender] needs money now and that [victim] doesn’t have time to reason or ask friends.”

Continue reading “For Richer Or Poorer? Romance Scams Are Leaving More Online Daters Broke by S. Simmons”

I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson

I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson

Before I paste in excerpts from the article (see farther below), I wanted to say, yes, it’s unfortunately common for family and friends to shame you about being single; it’s common for them to poke fun or ask questions about “why aren’t you married yet?” or “why don’t you have a boyfriend?,” and so forth.

Now, I’m not sure of the author’s (Thompson’s) age of this piece I am excerpting below, but if you are a single adult reading this, and you find yourself nodding along in empathy and solidarity, because you too know what it feels like to be pressured or shamed by friends and family for being single, I wanted to point out that this shaming, guilt tripping, mockery and so on, doesn’t last forever.

I am now in my late forties; most people will stop questioning you and mocking you about “why aren’t you married or dating anyone yet” at some stage of your life, probably in your mid-40s.

You will have to endure a lot of the annoying, at times hurtful, mocking, innuendo, shaming, teasing, pressure, and so on and so forth, in your younger years.

The mid 30s seem to be the height of this singles shaming and ridicule for most people (based on anecdotes I’ve seen from other single adults over the years).

Continue reading “I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson”

A Table For One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)

A Table For One: Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)

The author was also offering a free (yes, free – and it’s totally legal) download or copy of her book about singleness (a book which I have not read; I may do so later).

I did listen to the interview she gave for the podcast linked to here:

(Link): A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time
^ Podcast on that Page

Why are you still single?

This question is often asked of single women, especially those who are deemed by loved ones or friends to be too old to be single.

In her newest book, A Table for One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time(Manchester University Press, 2017), Kinneret Lahad analyzes this undertheorized aspect of the gendered experience.

Singlehood is inextricably linked to a post-structural analysis of time: not only are single women judged on their single status based on how old they are, but Lahad argues that being single often ages women at a faster rate in the eyes of others.

Continue reading “A Table For One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)”

Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

I have been blogging about this topic, and ones pertaining to it, for several years now. It’s no mystery to me why women have been leaving the church in droves the last ten or more years.

(If you’d like to see just a few of my posts explaining why the Christian faith, or more specifically, churches, are a huge turn-off to single women, please see some of the links to my other blog posts below in this post, under the “Related Posts” heading.)

However, most Christians only obsess over smaller numbers of MEN leaving church; they don’t seem to either notice or to care that single women have been dropping out as well.

One of the few things this article highlights is that the “equally yoked” rule is a waste of time for women of faith who’d like to be married.

If you are a Christian woman, and you’d like to marry, it is vital you give up a hope or strict rule of marrying only a Christian man – otherwise, you are more than likely to remain single.

Secondly, and obviously, too many churches have made marriage and parenthood into idols and benchmarks of adulthood, so that any woman who doesn’t marry or have kids is ignored or viewed and treated like a child. That needs to change. Single women should be valued and recognized in their singleness. 

I can also see how gender complementarianism (traditional gender roles) are also keeping these Christian women from getting married: they have internalized the idea that being anything other than the Christian gender complementarian woman (i.e., a passive doormat) hinders them from getting a husband, and worse yet, some of the men they’ve met in church actually do feel that way.

Christians need to toss out the regressive stereotypes (which are snuck into Christian teaching under heretical gender complementarian teachings) if they are truly concerned about declining marriage rates and would like to actually help marriage-minded single women to get married.

Not all women naturally fit into the gender complementarian ideal, which means they may not get married, if everyone insists all women must be gender comp to merit marriage. (The Bible does not hold up women being passive or being gender complementarian to merit a husband; it is church members who promote this false view.)

(Link): Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

Excerpts:

…. It turns out that in both countries, single Christian women are leaving churches at increasingly high rates. In the UK, one study showed that single women are the most likely group to leave Christianity.

In the US, the numbers tell a similar story.

Of course, there is a distinction between leaving church and leaving Christianity, and these studies do not make the difference clear.

Regardless, leaving – whether it be your congregation or your faith — is a difficult decision. Women stand to lose their friends, their sense of identity, their community and, in some cases, even their family. And yet, many are doing it anyway.

What or who is driving them out?

Continue reading “Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini”

Let’s Stop Praising Men Who Deign To Date Women Almost Their Own Age by B. Ellen

Let’s Stop Praising Men Who Deign To Date Women Almost Their Own Age by B. Ellen

(Link): Let’s Stop Praising Men Who Deign To Date Women Almost Their Own Age by B. Ellen

Excerpts:

Nov 9, 2019

Sexual politics hasn’t really evolved much if Keanu Reeves is hailed as a feminist

Keanu Reeves comes across as a sweetheart, but I’m not sure he actually deserves a sainthood for dating artist Alexandra Grant, who, at 46, is still nine years younger than him.

Nevertheless, their recent appearance on the red carpet (Grant, elegant with natural grey hair) was hailed as refreshing, even groundbreaking.

So it goes with the twisted maths of male-female age-appropriateness, especially in Hollywood – a man seen with anyone who isn’t half his age is hailed as a feminist god walking among us.

But why wouldn’t Reeves date Grant? She appears to be smart, talented, fun, a catch. But this is beyond one couple – this is about the gender politics of success and how society tells successful men that they “deserve” not only a beautiful, but also a much younger woman.

…Then there’s that other kind of age gap, with the freaky gendered socioeconomic dimension – where snagging a much younger woman becomes as much a signifier of male success as a mansion or a Porsche.

Here, the younger woman is less a human being than a male acquisition or achievement. I always wondered why some men were forever moaning nastily about gold-diggers.

…For women, the rules are different. Helena Bonham Carter has just been in the news with a much younger partnerand you’d have thought that witchcraft (bubbling cauldrons, the lot) must have been involved for this 53-year-old to lure this younger man into her aged lair. It barely matters that Bonham Carter is beautiful, talented and successful. That, these days, she’d be called a cougar rather than a crone. Still, society decrees that a woman’s status is rarely improved by her having a much younger male partner; if anything, it’s sacrificed.


Related:

(Link):  Study:  Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years

(Link): Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. – But That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf (2018 Article)

(Link): Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

(Link): “Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought – His Ex Wife Calls Constantly” (She Needs To Dump This Guy)

(Link):  Stop Telling Women Their Most Valuable Asset Is Their Youth

(Link):  Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

(Link): Girlfriend, 26, Chops Off Her 40 Year Old Boyfriend’s Penis With Garden Shears

(Link): Woman Burned To Death For Refusing Marriage Proposal To A Man Over Half Her Age

(Link): What Is The #HusbandNotDad (hash tag)? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag by P. Frank

(Link):  Dear Abby: I Gave Up Dating, and 30 Years Later, I’m Lonely – letter from self-professing 70 year old guy who is overweight, says he prefers younger women and does not want to date women his own age

(Link):  Wife’s Shock As Husband, 26, Is Caught Cheating With a 72-Year-Old Lover at Premier Inn

(Link):  ‘I Want My 2.3 Bonus Years’ – A.K.A., ‘Where do 50-year-old men get the strange impression that they could date a 23-year-old?’ by Mona Chalabi

(Link): What It’s Really Like to Be a Guy Who Only Dates Much Older Women by L. Moore 

(Link): French Author Yann Moix, 50, Says Women Over 50 Are ‘Invisible’ To Him

(Link): Men Become ‘Invisible’ And Lose Sex Appeal At 39 – Article from Daily Caller

(Link): A 69 Year Old Man Wants to Self Identify as a 40-Something to Increase His Chances on Dating Sites

(Link):  How Dating In Your 40s Is Nothing Like Dating In Your 20s – via NY Post – A Secular Editorial Grasps what Married Christian Relationship Advice Givers Do Not

(Link): Ageism Vs. Age Preferences and Creepy Older Men (critique of post at another blog) 

(Link): The Bigger the Age Gap The Shorter The Marriage  / Divorce Rates Predicted By Age Differences

(Link): Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

(Link): Obnoxious, Condescending, Sexist, Pervy Esquire Editorial by 50-Something Year Old Man: “In Praise of 42 Year Old Women” – Condescendingly Reassures 40 Something Women He’d Sex Them Up

(Link): Follow Up – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

(Link): Follow Up Part 2 – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

(Link): Christian Males Blaming their Unwanted Protracted Singleness on Feminism – They have the wrong target

(Link): Couple Says 30-Year Age Gap Means Hotter Sex (*Barf*)

(Link): Creepizoids Weirdos and Perverts on Dating Sites

French Author Yann Moix, 50, Says Women Over 50 Are ‘Invisible’ To Him

French Author Yann Moix, 50, Says Women Over 50 Are ‘Invisible’ To Him

Before I get to the article about this person, here are a couple of related ones:

(Link): Men Become ‘Invisible’ And Lose Sex Appeal At 39 – Article from Daily Caller

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

I’m not 50 years old – the big 5-0 is a few years away for me – but – I have no desire to date people such as this Moix guy, who is, I think over age 50 himself. I’ve seen his photo on sites – he is not attractive.

When I was in my 20s, I was creeped out by any guy more than five years my senior who took a fancy to me. And I sometimes, yes, had guys older than me hit on me. It was gross.

I wonder if this guy actually gets any dates with anyone?

Here’s the article:

(Link): French Author Yann Moix, 50, Says Women Over 50 Are ‘Invisible’ To Him

Yann Moix’s comments about being “incapable” of loving women over his own age has sparked furious backlash online.

A prize-winning French author faced backlash online after he reportedly declared he was “incapable” of loving women over the age of 50 because they are “too old” and “invisible” to him.

Yann Moix, who is 50 himself, told Marie Claire magazine’s French edition that he preferred the bodies of younger women, according to multiple media reports.

Continue reading “French Author Yann Moix, 50, Says Women Over 50 Are ‘Invisible’ To Him”

Tips For Defensive Dating, Including Warning Signs that You Could Be The Target Of An Online Romance Scam – From the WSJ

Tips For Defensive Dating, Including Warning Signs that You Could Be The Target Of An Online Romance Scam – From the WSJ

(Link):  Tips For Defensive Dating, Including Warning Signs that You Could Be The Target Of An Online Romance Scam

Excerpts:

Here are tips for defensive dating, including warning signs that you could be the target of an online romance scam

ByKatherine Bindley

March 15, 2018 11:55 a.m. ET14 COMMENTS

More and more people are looking for love online. A large chunk are those age 50 to 64, and dating services aimed at baby boomers are expected to grow the most over the next five years.

You know who else is prowling around websites and apps, looking to score? Scammers.

Last year, more than 15,000 victims lost some $210 million in “confidence frauds” and romance scams, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Know Where Scammers Lurk
Scammers don’t limit their hunting grounds to old-school dating sites like Match.com. They’re trolling for victims on any number of apps, even ones that aren’t associated with dating, such as the Scrabble-like online social game Words With Friends, according to the Better Business Bureau’s Scam Tracker.

Continue reading “Tips For Defensive Dating, Including Warning Signs that You Could Be The Target Of An Online Romance Scam – From the WSJ”

Dating in Your 40s (Advice Columnist M. Goldstein)

Dating in Your 40s (Advice Columnist M. Goldstein)

(Link): Dating in Your 40s (Advice Columnist M. Goldstein)

Q. Where is a single woman in her 40s supposed to look for love?

Though I had some decent luck in my 20s, it doesn’t seem that online dating is a viable option when you are midlife and not interested in hookups, and I tend to see the same people on all the different sites.

Once upon a time it was fresh and attracted a lot of different people, but it seems that online dating has run its course as a legitimate way to meet people, based on my experiences.

Continue reading “Dating in Your 40s (Advice Columnist M. Goldstein)”