Dating Again as an Adult (article)
I usually do not care for dating tips sort of articles, but I thought anyone who visits this blog might find this helpful.
Dating Again as an Adult
- By Jason Ashley Wright
Zip-lining to love
The old standard singles events, like speed dating and singles mixers, can be overwhelming for many people, and most don’t want to use the bar scene as an outlet to meet their next serious date, said Chelsea McGuire, who hears these complaints daily.
“It can be scary to set out on the dating journey, but it doesn’t have to be,” said McGuire, president and founder of the Take Heart Tulsa social and adventure club those adventures include wine tastings, rock climbing, glassblowing, paint-and-sip classes, scavenger hunts, even volunteering, zip-lining and grape-stomping.
She founded her company on the belief that “it’s far easier to meet others who share your passions if you meet while pursuing them,” she said.
….Those easing back into dating should seek out activities or groups that share their interest, said McGuire. Often, when people are getting back into the dating scene, they are also going through a period of self-exploration, so finding new hobbies or revisiting old ones is a win-win.
When seeking out activities where you’re trying something new or something you’re passionate about, talking to the new people around you becomes second nature.
“I like to call it an organic icebreaker,” McGuire said. “Trying a more casual, lighthearted approach to meeting new people and dating can take a lot of pressure off.”
She also suggested looking at community calendars, which are a great way to find groups and events that match your interests. Browsing a few the day we spoke, she found book clubs, hiking groups, groups that talk about their travels and volunteer groups.
Going online to find someone is “huge,” said Rachel Wagner, a local etiquette expert and namesake founder of Rachel Wagner Etiquette and Protocol.
In a recent New York Daily News article she read, one-third of those wed between 2005 and 2012 met online, Wagner said compared to 21 percent who met at work, 19 percent via mutual friends and only 9 percent at bars.
Regarding that 19 percent, always be open to the mutual-friend thing because your friends know you and have your best interest at heart.
As for online dating, don’t reject a person after one date someone smart, respectful and fun just because he or she didn’t meet every criteria on your online dating perfect date list, Wagner said.
“Don’t lower your standards but if there’s no really big red flag, then perhaps a subsequent date may be in order,” she said.
Once you and your date go out to dinner or lunch, observe how he or she treats the wait staff.
“It’s a good indicator of this person’s sense of courtesy and respect toward those working in service jobs,” Wagner said. “And, of course, you want to be treated with courtesy and respect, as well, including holding a door open, seating you, taking care of the tab.”
Trust your gut
On more than one occasion, Stephen Hemmert has gone off to fix a date a drink and returned to find her naked.
“I’m not a prude,” said Hemmert, a Tulsa native and graduate of the University of Tulsa who resides outside of Los Angeles. “But the thing is, I know I want to get to know this person.”
Following Hemmert’s divorce, he dated about 15 women over the course of several years, which led him to write his recently published “Dating and the 50-Year-Old Man.” In it, he imparts his dating observations.
Dating in his 50s is “nothing like the animal” he knew in his 20s when he married, he said during a recent phone interview.
The biggest difference: Women are more aggressive. The old stereotypical template of the guy being the lead asking a woman out, buying her roses is gone.
Often, he finds women offering their number before he has a chance to ask for it.
“I won’t say I didn’t enjoy some of it,” he said. But guys need to be careful of the “physical emotion,” which can fool you getting sidetracked by beauty and sexuality, which can cause you to miss some red flags before heading into a relationship.
That’s why it’s important to acknowledge intuition, he said.
Don’t travel in a pack
“Ladies, I’m talking to you,” McGuire said. You wonder why the gender riots are so XX chromosome-heavy at events, and, to top it off, you don’t get approached? It’s because you brought your best friend, your sister, your cousin and your cubical mate, and were glued to their sides the whole time. Approaching one person is daunting enough but three or four? Terrifying.
Don’t drink too much
There’s a reason people are tired of going to bars and clubs to meet people.
Read more tips (Link): here
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