The Authors at The Federalist Site Often Don’t Get It: Joy Pullman is Fine With Men Harassing Women Who Wear Headphones In Public – Part 1

The Authors at The Federalist Site Often Don’t Get It: Joy Pullman is Fine With Men Harassing Women Who Wear Headphones in Public – Part 1

I am quoting portions of an essay at The Federalist site in order to offer a rebuttal to it. Link is below.


The Federalist is a conservative web site.

I’m a conservative.

However, I am a conservative who is truly and actually repulsed by sexism against women – and yes, many conservatives will say they are as well – but then they go on to mock and ridicule the very legitimate concerns raised by other women, which means, ultimately, they are supporting and defending sexism despite their avowed concern for women and girls.

Lets’s examine one example of this very thing. From the right wing site The Federalist comes this editorial written by a Joy Pullman:

(Link): Even Women With Headphones May Want A Man To Chase Them

Here is the obnoxious sub-heading on that page, which was published in September 2016:

Back off, uptight whiners, and stop making public and romantic life so much less fun for everyone. Some ladies like a good chase.
–(end quote)–

I’m surprised a woman wrote this piece, because it conveys a lot of the stupidity, the ignorance of women, and wrong, sexist assumptions many men have of women, but this is written by a conservative woman – so maybe I should not be surprised.

A lot of conservative women (I myself am conservative, but please recall, I don’t agree with them on all topics) hold this bizarre and wrong position that the automatic, correct position on any topic pertaining to gender that feminists, or all women as a group (which may or may not include feminists), are championing or upset about, must be to adopt the direct, opposite position.

And that is an incredibly stupid and irresponsible position for conservatives to take, for, like broken clocks, (Link): even liberal feminists are correct at least twice a day.

Continue reading “The Authors at The Federalist Site Often Don’t Get It: Joy Pullman is Fine With Men Harassing Women Who Wear Headphones In Public – Part 1”

What Is The #HusbandNotDad (hash tag)? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag by P. Frank

 

What Is The #HusbandNotDad? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag by P. Frank

If your spouse is five (especially ten) more years younger or older than you are, IMO, that is gross gross gross gross.

I have never supported “May-December” relationships, and I blogged about it (Link): here. I’m usually a pretty live and let live type of person, but the age gap thing has always grossed me out.

When you are 20 and your husband is 40, I sure hope you enjoy things when you’re 40 and changing his adult diapers when he’s 60. Or the ages are 60 and 80. Good luck with that.

(Link): What Is The #HusbandNotDad? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag

Excerpts:

Welcome to a unique pocket of the internet, where women in heterosexual, monogamous relationships enact the decorum of outsiders.

…The hashtag: #HusbandNotDad.

It’s a short and confusing collection of words. But the tag’s meaning couldn’t be more straightforward. The man pictured alongside McCullough is her romantic partner, not the man who raised her.

He is husband and definitely not dad.

You might not have asked, but there it is.

Continue reading “What Is The #HusbandNotDad (hash tag)? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag by P. Frank”

Man-Whore Who Claims To Have Had Sex with 6,000 Women Died While Having Sex

Man-Whore Who Claims To Have Had Sex with 6,000 Women Died While Having Sex

Oh gross, he was 63 and one woman he supposedly was boffing was 23? May-December relationships (Link): are repulsive.

(Link):  Romeo of Rimini Playboy Maurizio Zanfanti dies while having sex with tourist, 23

A man nicknamed the Romeo of Rimini because he slept with so many women has died while having intercourse with a 23-year-old tourist.

Maurizio Zanfanti, Italy’s most famous playboy, was 63 when he died.

He is said to have slept with more than 6,000 women, previously boasting that in a successful summer he could sleep with around 200 women. His highest tally, he said, was 207.

Continue reading “Man-Whore Who Claims To Have Had Sex with 6,000 Women Died While Having Sex”

Wife’s Shock As Husband, 26, Is Caught Cheating With a 72-Year-Old Lover at Premier Inn

Wife’s Shock As Husband, 26, Is Caught Cheating With a 72-Year-Old Lover at Premier Inn

I do not support (Link):  May-December relationships. They are so gross.

And I don’t care which gender is which age in the formula – I am no less grossed out that the older person in this story is a lady, not a dude.

(Link): Wife’s Shock As Husband, 26, Is Caught Cheating With a 72-Year-Old Lover at Premier Inn

A newly-married man aged 26 was caught romping with a 72-year-old lover at a Premier Inn.

The lothario’s wife, 24, from the Birmingham area, had called in private detectives after becoming suspicious about his behaviour.

Continue reading “Wife’s Shock As Husband, 26, Is Caught Cheating With a 72-Year-Old Lover at Premier Inn”

Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances

Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances

Obviously, the murder is horrific – but I also note that the husband is 51 years old, the wife was 29. Here is what I’ve said before about such  (Link): May December relationships?

Any way, if you’re a single woman like me who had wanted to marry, but still find yourself single, such news stories show that being married in and of itself is not a great thing if your husband is an abusive loser, like this guy in this article.

Let this also go to show (yet again) that marriage does not make people more godly, mature, or responsible, as so many Marriage-Idolating, Anti-Singles Christians and conservative think tanks like to argue.

(Link): Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances

April 2018

A British man has been arrested in Thailand for allegedly kicking his wife to death after she refused to have sex with him.

Kevin Smitham, 51, had been staying with wife Kanda Smitham, 29, and their parents in Ubon Ratchathani, Thailand, during the Songkran new year holiday.

But he is said to have flown into a drunken jealous rage — accusing his wife of cheating on him when she refused to have sex on Sunday evening.

Continue reading “Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances”

Girlfriend, 26, Chops Off Her 40 Year Old Boyfriend’s Penis With Garden Shears

Girlfriend, 26, Chops Off Her 40 Year Old Boyfriend’s Penis With Garden Shears

One headline I saw for this story (via another site) said the girlfriend claimed this was part of a “sex game.”

I’m trying to feel sorry for this guy, but … I’m on record for despising (Link): May-December Relationships, but my heart just cannot manufacture the cares. Dude should be dating chicks closer to his own age.

Stories like this one sure do make singleness and celibacy look better by comparison.

This (Link): photo (Mirror UK site image link) was used to illustrate one of the articles, though I don’t think it’s the guy in the news story.

(Link):  Woman cuts off musician’s penis and testicles with garden shears

(Link): Woman, 26, ‘chopped off her boyfriend’s penis with a pair of pruning SHEARS as he slept’

(Link): Girlfriend, 26, Chops Off Her 40 Year Old Boyfriend’s Penis With Garden Shears

Nov 27, 2017

A 26-year-old Argentine woman has been arrested after cutting off her lover’s penis with a pair of gardening shears.

Continue reading “Girlfriend, 26, Chops Off Her 40 Year Old Boyfriend’s Penis With Garden Shears”

Roy Moore Allegations Prompt Reflections on Fundamentalist Culture in Which Some Christian Men Date Teens By J. Zauzmer 

Roy Moore Allegations Prompt Reflections on Fundamentalist Culture in Which Some Christian Men Date Teens By J. Zauzmer 

This article unfortunately (Link): quotes Brad Wilcox. The only positive thing I can say about Wilcox’s contribution to this article: at least he was not defending teen girls dating or marrying 30 year old men.

(Link): Roy Moore Allegations Prompt Reflections on Fundamentalist Culture in Which Some Christian Men Date Teens

Excerpts:

….That courtship of underage girls is especially common in conservative religious communities.

“We should probably talk about how there is a segment of evangelicalism and home-school culture where the only thing Roy Moore did wrong was initiating sexual contact outside of marriage. 14 year old girls courting adult men isn’t entirely uncommon,” Kathryn Brightbill, who works for the Coalition for Responsible Home Education, tweeted Friday, prompting a flurry of responses from other people who also had watched teenagers date much older Christian men.

…The culture of courting that Easter and Brightbill described is one limited mostly to fundamentalist religious communities, including certain Christian groups and those of other religions, such as some Orthodox Jewish or Mormon communities.

For most evangelical Christians, relationships between older men and teenage girls are viewed as wholly inappropriate.

Continue reading “Roy Moore Allegations Prompt Reflections on Fundamentalist Culture in Which Some Christian Men Date Teens By J. Zauzmer “

Sex Robots Are Being Made to Look Like Customers’ Dead Wives

Sex Robots Are Being Made to Look Like Customers’ Dead Wives

I do not find this touching. It’s gross and weird.

(Link): Sex robots are being made to look like customers’ dead wives… and one firm insists it’s the best way to help with their grief

by G Harrison

For many people, the social aspects of owning a sexbot are far more important than the physical side of things

SEX robots have become so lifelike that bereaved men are flocking to order dolls designed to resemble their dead partners.

Continue reading “Sex Robots Are Being Made to Look Like Customers’ Dead Wives”

Study:  Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years

Study:  Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years

I generally do not support May-December relationships, as I’ve written about before.

(Link):  Study:  Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years

Age DOES matter in relationships: Big gaps can turn a marriage sour in just six years as partners struggle to agree and have different viewpoints

August 2017

    • Study found men who are married to younger wives were initially most satisfied
    • But the marriage can go can sour in just six to ten years, researchers found
    • Similarly-aged couples are better at dealing with difficult decisions, study found
    • Marriages with large age gaps are less resilient in during economic downturns

Marriages with a large age gap are less likely to work than when the couple is a similar age, according to new research.

Although men might be happier with a younger wife in the early stages of marriage, it can sour in just six to ten years, the study found.

Similarly-aged couples are better at dealing with difficult decisions as they are more in sync and will do much better in the long-run.

Continue reading “Study:  Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years”

Woman Forwards Man’s Unsolicited D-ck Pics To His Mother

Woman Forwards Man’s Unsolicited D-ck Pics To His Mother

(Link): Woman Forwards Man’s Unsolicited D-ck Pics To His Mother

…Frustrated single woman Madi Kohn, a college student living in Arizona, was sick of receiving random penis pics on Tinder.

She updated her bio on the dating application to make it clear that any unwanted snapshots of a man’s junk would be forwarded to his mom.

And when a man she didn’t know filled her inbox with a self-portrait of his penis, that’s exactly what she did.

Continue reading “Woman Forwards Man’s Unsolicited D-ck Pics To His Mother”

Husband Slept With Dead Wife For Six Nights

Husband Slept With Dead Wife For Six Nights

(Link): Heartbroken husband slept next to dead wife for six nights as family gave ‘beautiful and comforting’ farewell

A heartbroken husband has told how he slept next to his dead wife’s body in the same room for six days – because he did not want her to be taken to a mortuary.

Russell Davison, 50, decided he wanted to be in control of what happened to his partner’s corpse after she passed way from cancer on April 21.

Continue reading “Husband Slept With Dead Wife For Six Nights”

Thirteen Things Men Should Stop Doing. Immediately. (via Indp.)

Thirteen Things Men Should Stop Doing. Immediately. (via Indp.)

(Link): Thirteen Things Men Should Stop Doing. Immediately. (via Indp.)

Excerpts (to see the complete list, please visit their site):

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that relations between men and women aren’t always harmonious. 

While we’re moving away from the old “men are from Venus, girls are from Mars” trope, gender still divides us more than just biologically.

Inevitably, some men will do some things that will irritate some women, and vice versa.

Continue reading “Thirteen Things Men Should Stop Doing. Immediately. (via Indp.)”

Married Church Staffer Arrested for Secretly Filming Upskirt Videos of Girls, Women in Church Bathroom and While They Kneeled During Services – Equally Yoked is BUNK

Married Church Staffer Arrested for Secretly Filming Upskirt Videos of Girls, Women in Church Bathroom and While They Kneeled During Services – Equally Yoked is BUNK 

Way farther below in this post is a link to a news story about a married church staff guy who was a pervert. (I think I first saw this news story via @watchkeep’s Twitter account.)

My Christian parents brought me up to think if I wanted to marry, that the best place for me to meet potential spouses would be at a church. I suppose the assumption with that is that the type of men who attend church regularly are going to be “safer” or better moral choices than the type of dude you might meet at a bar.

However, in the last few years of running this blog, I have seen (Link): so many news stories of church-going Christian men who get arrested for abuse or perversion, I now have my doubts about that.

Secondly, single women out-number single men in churches. I know that every church I’ve been to in person, I’ve been one of the few singles there. The only men in attendance and 80 years old, which would be fine if I were 80 too, but I’m not, and May December relationships (Link): make me want to barf.

Below  is a news report of a church staffer who was caught secretly filming “upskirt” videos of girls and women in church bathrooms and during church services. That is bad enough as-is, but the report says that the church discouraged the women from contacting the police over this.

Continue reading “Married Church Staffer Arrested for Secretly Filming Upskirt Videos of Girls, Women in Church Bathroom and While They Kneeled During Services – Equally Yoked is BUNK”

NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’ -Say Good-Bye to the Equally Yoked Teaching

NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’ -Say Good-Bye to the Equally Yoked Teaching

I see no value or benefit for Christian singles to follow the “equally yoked” teaching, especially in regards to dating or marriage, when so many professing Christians are slime ball weirdos, such as the pastor in this news story.

I’d rather marry a polite, kind, non-slime ball atheist than a guy like this. (This is not to say that all atheist men are great – certainly some I’ve known and read about are sexist jerks or creepers too. You need to judge a guy on his character and how he treats you, not his religious beliefs per se.)

Also, as every women raised Christian knows, Christian single men are in short supply anyway, so you might not have a choice but to marry a Non-Christian anyway.

Recall that much of the Christian invented “Billy Graham Rule” presupposes that single women are threats to married Christian men, when the reality is that usually, married Christian men are attacking or trying to rape single (or married) women. Maybe Christians need to invent a (Link): Reverse Billy Graham Rule.

I’m not sure if the pastor in this story is married or a father, but he probably is: if so, this goes to show that marriage and parenthood do not necessarily make a person more mature, godly, or ethical – as Christians teach.

Further, if this pervert preacher is married, it also goes to show that the common Christian belief that married people are more sexually pure or restrained than adult singles is untrue.

I’d also add that Baptists go around crowing about “family values” all the time, but here you have a Baptist preacher sexually preying on women patients, which is in opposition to “family values.”

(Link):  Church pastor charged with inappropriately touching woman

  • The pastor of a Salisbury church has been charged with inappropriately touching a woman he was supposed to be counseling, according to a Salisbury Police report.

(Link):  Minister accused of groping woman he was counseling, police say

  • by M Becker
  • SALISBURY, N.C. —
  • Police in Salisbury have charged a local minister with sexually assaulting a woman whom he was counseling.
  • Police arrested the Rev. Kenneth Darrell Worley Tuesday and charged him with misdemeanor sexual battery more than three months after the woman said he groped her in her home in Salisbury.
  •  “I kick myself now, but he seemed so trustworthy,” the woman told Eyewitness News on Wednesday.
  • She said she met Worley in the waiting room of a local hospital where she was having a medical procedure, and he suggested that he could counsel her further at her home.
  • She said they spoke for about two hours at her kitchen table, but as he got up to leave, he asked if he could give her a hug, then pushed her down onto her couch.
  •  “He started sticking his tongue in my ear, licking on my neck. He was groping me,” she said.
  • She got free and called police, but the investigation took more than three months before officers signed a warrant charging Worley with misdemeanor assault.
  • A spokesman at New Hope Baptist Church in Salisbury said Wednesday that officials there were not ready to comment, but Worley is still the senior pastor there.

(Link): NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’

  • BETHANIA PALMA MARKUS
    12 MAY 2016 AT 16:39 ET
  • A North Carolina pastor has been accused of sexually assaulting a woman after she entrusted him to counsel her, (Link): WSCOTV reports.
  • Police arrested Rev. Kenneth Darrell Worley after the woman claims he came to her house in the town of Salisbury to provide her with counseling.
  • After a two-hour talk, the woman, who was not identified, told WSCO that Worley asked her if he could give her a hug.
  • “That seemed okay, you know? Sure,” she said. But then Worley tried to force himself on her, pushing her backward onto her sofa.
  • “He started sticking his tongue into my ear, licking on my neck, he was groping me,” she told the station. She called police but the investigation dragged on for months before she was informed they had charged Worley with misdemeanor sexual battery.
  • Worley is still the senior pastor at his church, New Hope Baptist Church.
  • She said she is speaking out now because she fears there are other victims.

————————-

Related Posts:

Update 2: (Link):  Church Knew of Preacher’s [Tullian Tchividjian’s] Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet 

(Link): Think The “Billy Graham Rule” Would Have Saved Tullian? Think Again… (Billy Graham rule has all Christians treating single adult women as though they are harlots who cannot be trusted)

(Link):  Update on Christian Rapist Man Who Used Christian Mingle Site To Pick His Victims (he liked to discuss Jesus and the Bible with them before raping them – other details in update) Equally Yoked Teaching IS A FARCE 

(Link): Christian Ladies: Be Equally Yoked to Christian Men Who Like To Have Sex With Dogs! (Re: Jerald Hill news story)

(Link): Forget About Being Equally Yoked: “My Abusive Christian Marriage”

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

 

Salvation Army Bans Duggar / Quivering Cult’s ‘Retreat’ (Called ‘Get Them Married’) that Promoted Arranged Marriages for Teen Girls – Quivering Advocates Are Anti-Adult Singleness and Anti-Celibacy

Salvation Army Bans Duggar / Quivering Cult’s ‘Retreat’ (Called ‘Get Them Married’) that Promoted Arranged Marriages for Teen Girls – Quivering Advocates Are Anti-Adult Singleness and Anti-Celibacy 

Before I present you with the links to the news reports about this story (which are much farther down the page), I wanted to make some introductory comments in general, and a few specific comments refuting a few points from a pro-Quivering page about celibacy.

In regards to the specific news story I am blogging about today, this Quivering group is completely overlooking Apostle Paul’s comments in (Link): 1 Corinthians 7 that it is better for people to remain single than it is to marry – and Paul does not say that this teaching is in regards only to “a few,” or only a “minority” of people.

The Bible nowhere states that marriage is “a norm,” or that God expects or wants all, or most, people to marry.

It just so happens that in other cultures thousands of years ago, most people did happen to marry – one should not deduce from this cultural situation that God supported it or wanted it to be so. It just was what it was.

If the Bible said that all or most ancient Jews painted their bodies green once a year and balanced weasels on their heads while jumping up and down on a watermelon one week out of a year, one should not assume from this that

  • 1. God created that cultural practice and/or that
  • 2. God wanted Americans in the year 2016 to practice these things as well.

The Quivering group’s position on marriage, celibacy, and singleness is unbiblical, not to mention disturbing.

According to this article (linked to much farther below), the Quivering group was going to call this event, (where they set up marriages for little girls to marry), “Get Them Married.”

Why not have an event called, per 1 Corinthians 7, “It Is Better To Stay Unmarried”?

Am I opposed to marriage? No.

Is the God of the Bible against marriage? No.

But the Bible does not say that being married is better or more holy for girls, women, or culture, than being single, but a lot of Christian groups, and these wacky Christian cults, insist otherwise.

Christians need to do a better job of recognizing adult singleness and celibacy as legitimate, godly, biblical lifestyles and choices for all persons (and not only meant for a small minority of people who were supposedly “gifted” with it), instead of promoting marriage and natalism as the only legitimate avenues or as ways of fixing culture, the nation, or as pleasing God.

Continue reading “Salvation Army Bans Duggar / Quivering Cult’s ‘Retreat’ (Called ‘Get Them Married’) that Promoted Arranged Marriages for Teen Girls – Quivering Advocates Are Anti-Adult Singleness and Anti-Celibacy”

Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles

Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles

I skimmed over this really long blog post, on Brent Detwiler’s site (link much farther below), about a guy, Caffery, who was jailed for pedophilia. Caffery has more than one victim, if I remember right.

Caffery wrote a book at one point claiming that belief in Christ changed his life for the better, and so on and so forth (amazingly, he was molesting kids while writing this book – during the same time frame).

Caffery also wrote (in a book or a letter to his church elders, I forget which) that he was afraid if his wife gave birth to a daughter, he would molest his own daughter, so he prayed and asked God for sons. His wife went on to give birth to all sons. (I think the blog post says he later had a daughter by his second wife.)

Let me pause here to say: if I were dating or engaged to a guy who told me this upfront, that he is afraid he might molest any kids we had together, I would take him at his word and dump his ass.

(I don’t know if the woman this guy married knew beforehand or not, I’m just saying if this happened to me, I would NOT stay with a guy who confessed such a thing to me.

Never, ever stay with a guy out of pity or a sense of duty – don’t feel sorry for Mr. “I might molest our kids if we have kids together” Pervert. Helping him or redeeming such a deviant is not your responsibility. Part of the reason I got sucked into my last disaster of an engagement was that I felt sorry for the guy.)

The part that really stood out to me in this blog post by DeWiler was when Caffery said after one wife divorced him, he went looking for a new wife at a large Christian church. I found this alarming and creepy.

Continue reading “Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles”

Minister Spanked Naked Bottoms to Administer ‘Spiritual Discipline’, Court Hears

Minister Spanked Naked Bottoms to Administer ‘Spiritual Discipline’, Court Hears

I first saw this tweeted by DefendTheSheep’s account, then by Watchkeep.

I can’t say as though I am sorry to be about done with church. Look at all the perverted, kinky wackos in churches.

(Link):  Minister spanked naked bottoms to administer ‘spiritual discipline’, court hears

  • by Harry Farley
  • An evangelical pastor spanked women’s bare bottoms to administer “spiritual discipline”, a court has been told.
  • The beatings were to satisfy Rev Howard Curtis’ “desire for power and sexual satisfaction”, according to the prosecution. The 73-year-old former minister of Coulsdon Christian Fellowship ran the church in Wallington, south London, as a “cult”, Croydon Crown Court heard.
  • Prosecutor Toby Fitzgerald said he had ordered one woman to strip naked before slapping her naked bottom until she collapsed.

Continue reading “Minister Spanked Naked Bottoms to Administer ‘Spiritual Discipline’, Court Hears”

Romantic Comedies: When Stalking Has a Happy Ending (from The Atlantic) / Men Who Mistake Platonic Friendliness For Flirting – So Annoying

Romantic Comedies: When Stalking Has a Happy Ending (from The Atlantic)

Some people confuse what this article from The Atlantic terms “persistent pursuing” with courtship. That is, men do it all the time, and some women, due to Hollywood Rom Coms, have been conditioned to view this as normal, romantic behavior.

May I add another related issue: men who mistake platonic chit chat with flirting?

That drives me up the wall. It’s one reason I am usually loathe to enter into pleasantries with men I don’t know when I’m in stores or sitting around in waiting rooms, because many men mistake idle, polite banter for,

  • “Oooh, this lady is into me, she is warm for my form, she wants to marry me and make babies with me, I am one sexy beast, grrrrr.”

So these men ask for your phone number or they get all flirty back. And you, the woman, are like, “I did NOT send this dude any sexy signals, where is this coming from?”

No, dude, my romantic interest is only in your imagination. (Duran Duran (Link): sang of this very concept.)

Me saying stuff like, “Wow, some crazy weather we’ve been having lately, huh?” as we’re sitting in Wal-Mart’s auto care center waiting for our tires to be rotated is not me hitting on you.

Me hitting on you, men of the world, consists of me putting one hand behind my head, one hand on a jutted out hip, head tilted back, eyes narrowly parted, and me saying something (in a seductive sounding, cat like purr), like, “Hey there big boy, you come here all alone? Mama likes what she sees! May I have your phone number? Are you free for a date this Saturday?”

Think (Link): this.

Yes, (Link): this is what a woman who is flirting with you looks like, the facial expression and mannerisms.

About men who refuse to take “no” for an answer from a woman they are interested in, who confuse pursuing with stalking: other than entitlement, I wonder if what drives some of these men is a sense that they HATE to be alone and MUST have a romantic partner to “complete them.”

I know this sort of thinking is very common among a lot of women. I think secular society (and Christian culture) does try to convince people there is no way they can be whole and happy single. There is a lot of pressure on people to pair up and date or marry.

Culture (especially through movies and TV shows) and churches need to stop sending this bogus message that there is something wrong, flawed, or second class about being single as an adult.

There is no disgrace in being single. I understand if you are single and lonely and pine for a significant other how hard it can be at times, but you are okay on your own.

You are not some loser or in-complete if you don’t have a mate, contrary to the messages Christians and Hollywood like to send us all.

(Link):  Romantic Comedies: When Stalking Has a Happy Ending by Julie Beck

Excerpts:

  • Overly persistent pursuit is a staple of movie love stories, but a new study shows that it could normalize some troubling behaviors.
  • …Reasonable people know that rom-coms aren’t what love is really like, just as reasonable people know that porn is not what sex is really like. But these movies still create an image of romance that leaks into the atmosphere and may subtly shape people’s perceptions and expectations of love.
  •  One troubling way they may do that is by making stalking behaviors seem like a normal part of romance, according to (Link): a new study by Julia Lippman, a postdoctoral fellow in the department of communication studies at the University of Michigan.
  • …[Lipman says] “Indeed, they may be seen as reflecting one of the great cultural myths of romantic love: that no matter how big the obstacle, love will conquer all.”
  • The website TV Tropes, which tracks, wiki-style, frequently-used narrative devices—not just on TV, but in all kinds of fiction—has a page for this. It’s aptly titled (Link): “Stalking Is Love.”Lippman files stalking under the broader umbrella of “persistent pursuit,” which can also encompass “more benign and even positively regarded behaviors such as some types of romantic courtship,” she writes.

    Continue reading “Romantic Comedies: When Stalking Has a Happy Ending (from The Atlantic) / Men Who Mistake Platonic Friendliness For Flirting – So Annoying”

Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

The letter is much farther below. I wanted to comment on it first.

Here is the set up:

A friend of a divorced guy wrote to Hax, an advice columnist.

 I’m not sure if this friend is a man or woman; let’s just assume it’s a man for my post.

My interest in this letter is not in the advice aspect: friend is upset because divorced guy keeps asking him for advice but then gets offended and explodes in anger when Friend gives him advice.

My interest in this letter pertains to two or three other facets:

The letter writing friend says his divorced friend is age mid-40s, while the wife who dumped him was in her early 30s.

I am (Link): not a  believer in “May December” relationships, for starters.

A mid- 40s guy should be dating women who are age early- to- late 40s, not an early- 30s woman.

And what in the hey is the age early- 30s woman doing even considering dating some dude who is 14, 15 years her senior?

This is something I have pondered since thinking about dating again: the rebound issue. There is no way I’d date a guy who was divorced (or widowed) for only two years, or less.

If you date a guy who just divorced (or his wife died) two weeks ago, or six months ago, he is not ready for a serious relationship – he’s not even ready for a healthy, casual, fun one.

Continue reading “Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships”

Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis Preacher Doug Wilson

Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis  Preacher Doug Wilson

I have blogged on this subject before, or something very similar to it, the weird and worn preoccupation with Christian men with women’s looks and sexuality. Of course, Non Christian men can be just as bad about this and sometimes are.

One of the reasons I am writing this blog post is due to this recent post at Christianity Today:

-But more on that specific post farther below.

There was recently a story in the media about two or three weeks ago about a woman on a site, Linked In, which is a site for professionals to network. This woman received a response from a much-older man on that site who told her how attractive she was in her Linked In site photo.

When this woman wrote him back and told him how sexist and inappropriate his message was, and this story somehow made its way into the public eye, this woman started getting screamed at and criticized by other parties online.

Her story resulted in editorials such as this:

(Link): LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site (from August or Sept 2015)

  • The case against your dad’s favorite social-media platform being used to “connect” with younger women

The reason I have a difficult time taking articles like the following seriously…

Is precisely because of stuff like this is still taking place:

(Link): LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site

  • The case against your dad’s favorite social-media platform being used to “connect” with younger women

If we were REALLY living in a society where men were terrified of being accused of sexual harassment by women (especially in the workplace), would we still find men using professional work sites such as Linked In to tell women they don’t even know how gosh-durn sexy – purty they are? No, I think not.

Men are still acting in a sexist and inappropriate fashion towards women, even on professional job-based web sites. Ergo, men cannot be all that afraid of being smacked with sexual harassment labels or lawsuits as the other article is claiming.

That article once more:

Excerpt from that page:

  • Tellingly, Elsesse [female author] adds that companies themselves are contributing to this mess, as they are now so terrified of legal action they send staff on sexual harassment training courses, and are duty-bound to follow up on any allegation, however minor.Ludicrously, Elsesser cites examples of men who have been dragged in by their HR departments for simply opening a door for a female colleague or complimenting her on a new suit. “Stories like these spread around workplaces, instilling a fear that innocent remarks will be misinterpreted,” she says.

Why would a male co-worker find it necessary to tell a female co-worker that her suit is snazzy? Why not instead tell her what a killer job she did on Tuesday’s staff meeting presentation?

You know, praise the woman’s brains, skills, accomplishments or job performance – instead of her appearance?

I am not a left winger, nor am I a secular feminist. I am right wing.

Any time a woman complains about getting a comment about her physical appearance from a man, even if it is a positive comment, my fellow right wingers will howl in protest. They cannot fathom how or why any woman would find getting compliments on her looks to be derogatory, demeaning, unwanted, or annoying.

You are thought to be overly sensitive, or a woman’s studies major who never shaves her arm pits, or a bra-burning, man hating harpy, if you object to a man telling you in any way, shape or form, that you are pretty or sexy.

My fellow right wingers chalk up any female dissent on receiving compliments on looks from a man as being from a left wing, frothing at the mouth, man-hating feminist.

Reminder: I am a right winger who disagrees with secular left wing feminists over 90% (or more) of the time on 90-95% of topics, but on this one, they are totally correct: as a socially conservative, right wing woman, I find it insulting when men call attention to my looks – even in a personal capacity, let alone a professional one.

I don’t like guys on the internet telling me I am hot, sexy, or pretty (which they have done on sites where I have used photos of myself and my real name, and this is not even on dating sites), nor do I enjoy men I don’t know in stores or streets cat-calling me or making comments about my appearance.

Hell, I grew to resent my ex fiance’s continual ‘You are so beautiful’ comment to be tiresome. I asked him several times to stop commenting on my looks, and that if he wanted to praise me, to do so based on some other quality, like my achievements at my job, my sense of humor – anything but my looks.

But the moron would never do it. It made me feel as though he only valued me for my looks, not my personality or anything else I brought to the table (well, he did love my bank account).

In my particular case, I was an ugly duckling as a kid -by some people’s standards- when I was a pre-teen. I was picked on.

I eventually slimmed down, got contact lenses, started wearing mascara, and boom, the male gender suddenly changed their minds about me. I really don’t like being judged or valued primarily or solely upon my physical appearance, but this has happened repeatedly from my teen years into my adult years.

Men don’t get this, they do not comprehend it. They don’t seem to care to know what it feels like to be accepted or rejected based on their looks alone (or primarily), yet this happens to women from the time we are girls and only grows worse as we get to our pre-teen and teen years and older.

It’s very frustrating and dehumanizing to be evaluated only on your physical appearance. Not to have people notice your intellect, your wit, your talents, your skills, to be appreciated for YOU, for who you are, not for what you look like.

One of the things I find annoying about the usual right wing, anti-feminist come-back to women who object to receiving comments from men about their looks is that such women should chill out and learn to appreciate a compliment.

One of the objections I have to that position: it assumes I need or want male validation and at that, for my appearance, and in a job setting.

However, I do not need or want a man’s validation about my physical appearance, especially not in a work-related context.

Continue reading “Weird, Sexist PreOccupation with Female Physical Appearance, Including Christian Males – vis a vis Preacher Doug Wilson”