Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together

Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together

I don’t blame her.

By the way. Marriage and parenthood do not make people more responsible, godly, loving, or ethical. Some married people are very entitled.

(Link): I absolutely REFUSE to switch my airline seat to help families and couples sit together – even when they start yelling, says single traveler JACI STEPHEN in a hilarious confession. So, do YOU sympathize with her?

August 25, 2022
By Jaci Stephen

Every summer, it happens: a family who hasn’t had the nous to book seats together on a plane asks a single passenger to move, in order to accommodate them.

This week, it’s Irish model and mother-of-three Vogue Williams, who publicly berated a fellow passenger for not wishing to give up his aisle seat and move to the window so that she could sit with her family. She was flying to London from Gibraltar, for goodness sake.

It’s a three-hour flight. Read a magazine. Order Duty Free. It’s not his fault that you’re so disorganized you can’t read a plane seat map.

I travel a lot. I have very specific seats I always choose (ask Virgin Atlantic; if I can’t get 8A, I’ll change planes). I like an aisle seat when traveling domestically because I need to use the rest room a lot.

I like to be at the front because I don’t like crowds and invariably need to disembark quickly. I spend weeks, sometimes months, making sure I have my favorite seat.

But I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been singled out as a single woman on her own and asked to change my seat. I suspect it’s because people think we’re going to be the softest touch. Wrong.

Continue reading “Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together”

Pastor Appears To Berate Congregation For Not Buying Him A High-Priced Watch In Viral Clip

Pastor Appears To Berate Congregation For Not Buying Him A High-Priced Watch In Viral Clip

It didn’t become clearly apparent to me until after my mother died when I was in my late 30s just how incredibly selfish, self absorbed, and narcissistic people are, including Christ-professing Christians who may even attend church regularly.

Yes, I had brief flashes and intuitions in my youth and 20s and 30s prior to my mother dying that people could be jerks or selfish and so on, but I did not realize HOW COMMON it was among so many people, including Christians, until after my Mom died.

Until Mom died, I had assumed that most people (Christians in particular) were empathetic people I could turn to if I was ever hurting, in a bind, and in need of emotional support (and my Mom kind of led me to believe I could count on other people, especially family, for support) – boy wow was that expectation ever shattered.

The Christians I went to in my grieving process time (whether extended family of mine or people I met at churches I attended) were insensitive, callous,  unempathetic, or selfish (some acted like sparing 30 to 60 minutes of their time every several months for me to to talk to them about me missing my Mom would be a huge, huge burden to them).

I know better now. I really had my eyes opened to the fact that most people, including Christians, are selfish, unempathetic tools.

In light of all that, I can’t say as though I am shocked by the selfishness and entitled attitude of this church preacher:

(Link): ‘False prophet’ pastor berates congregation for not buying him pricey new watch 

August 17, 2022
By Natalie O’Neill

Time for a new preacher!

A Missouri pastor was caught on camera berating his “broke” congregation for failing to buy him an expensive Movado watch — sparking criticism that he wants to make a profit, not be a prophet.

Pastor Carlton Funderburke of the Church at the Well in Kansas City was giving a fiery sermon about “honoring God’s shepherds” when he scolded his followers for being too poor to give him the pricey timepiece he’d requested, according to now-viral TikTok footage.

(Link): Missouri pastor says congregation is ‘poor, broke, busted’ for not buying him a luxury Movado watch

Carlton Funderburke, the senior pastor at Church at the Well, issued an apology video Tuesday for his “inexcusable” remarks in an Aug. 7 sermon.

August 17, 2022

A Kansas City, Missouri, pastor who said his congregation was “poor, broke busted and disgusted” for not buying him the luxury watch he wanted has issued an apology after his remarks caused a stir on social media.

Carlton Funderburke, the senior pastor at Church at the Well, issued an apology video Tuesday for the “inexcusable” remarks he made in an Aug. 7 sermon.

Continue reading “Pastor Appears To Berate Congregation For Not Buying Him A High-Priced Watch In Viral Clip”

Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job

Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job

Being a parent does not make a person more loving, ethical, responsible, or godly.

I say this because too often other conservatives and hyper-pro-nuclear family advocates, such as Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox (of “National Marriage Project” and “Institute for Family Studies”) keep pumping out propaganda that society could only be vastly improved if everyone would marry and have children – because they believe marriage and parenthood automatically confer good character into a person – which is not true.

If you’re willing to sell a baby for cash to get a nose job, quite obviously, being a parent didn’t make you less selfish, more loving, etc.

(Link): Mom busted for selling newborn baby to pay for $3,600 nose job

by Andrew Court
July 11, 2022

Big nose, small heart.

A ruthless Russian woman has reportedly been arrested for selling her newborn baby to pay for a $3,600 rhinoplasty.

The 33-year-old woman — whose name has not been disclosed by Russian media — was taken into custody in late May on suspicion of human trafficking, the Daily Star reports.

The mom is said to have given birth to a baby boy on April 25 at a hospital in the southern city of Kaspiysk, before selling him off just five days later to a local couple looking to become parents.

Continue reading “Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job”

The Obnoxious Abuse Survivor Community Is Targeting Julie Roys Again – this time begun by R L Stollar

The Obnoxious Abuse Survivor Community Is Targeting Julie Roys Again – this time the witch hunt was begun by R L Stollar

The “abuse survivor community” has taken their pitchforks out again, and again their pitchforks and torches are for journalist Julie Roys.

This time, the bullying is being carried out by a R L Stollar, a name I’ve seen on twitter off and on in the last few years.

I believe he originally began speaking out against harms caused by Christian homeschooling? Good on him for that (I mean that, that was not snark).

Beyond that, though, I’m not familiar with Stollar. He may have even tweeted a few things in the past I saw shared by others I follow on Twitter that I agreed with.

To Julie Anne (“Defend the Sheep” on twitter) – why are you  participating in this continued pile on?

(Edit: I believe Julie Anne “Liked” some of the comments in that thread, or I saw her share it on her Twitter account, which is how I became aware of it in the first place)

Why are you, Julie Anne, continuing to associate with people who behave this way?
I’m sorry if you feel that Roys did not credit you or friends of yours or whatever on older reportage she did (which she tried to discuss with you), but what is the deal with cozying up to the people singling her out every few weeks?

Anyway. Roys is being bullied online again, and this time it was started by Stollar.

Yes, I said “again” – see (Link): my previous post about this weird, disturbing anti-Roys obsession from the Amy Smiths, Ashley Easters, and other so-called abuse survivor advocates.

If you take note of this obnoxious behavior, as I did, (that is, noting their bullying and mob mentality where they target someone), some of them will erroneously misconstrue you as being a “Julie Roys Stan,” or use that as an ad hominem against you (see embedded tweets below for more on that).

Birth Control Movie

Now, the “abuse survivor community” is targeting Roys for having once appeared in a several years old (conservative created, I believe) movie about birth control and the sexual revolution.

I’ve not seen the movie they are referring to, but I did watch and listen to a clip of Roys presumably from the film (that clip located in a tweet by someone else here), and the comments Roys made were pretty conventional.

There was  nothing “far out” there by Roys in that clip, not unless, I suppose, you’re operating from a faulty, far left liberal paradigm, in which case pointing out that sexual behaviors with little- to- no boundaries can result in things like disease or other harmful ramifications will sound judgmental, fuddy duddy, and stodgy.

Speaking of which:

(Link): Monkeypox virus could become entrenched as new STD in the US – via ABC News (warning: auto-playing video file with audio on that page)

Excerpts:

The spread of monkeypox in the U.S. could represent the dawn of a new sexually transmitted disease, though some health officials say the virus that causes pimple-like bumps might yet be contained before it gets firmly established

By Mike Stobbe AP Medical Writer
July 22, 2022

… So far, more than 2,800 U.S. cases have been reported as part of an international outbreak that emerged two months ago. About 99% have been men who reported having sex with other men, health officials say.
— end excerpts —

Secular Criticisms of Birth Control and the Sexual Revolution

In the past year, a few secular books criticizing the consequences of the sexual revolution (including the role of the advent of birth control pills) have been published
(which I’ve blogged about here (Where the Sexual Revolution Went Wrong by Maria Albano) and here (The Sexual Revolution Has Backfired on Women by S. Moore),
so it’s not only those evangelicals all you hipster “Exvangelicals” despise pointing out the flaws and dangers with no-holds-barred sexual behavior.

In the past few years, more and more liberals and feminists have been speaking out about the excesses and harms of loose sexual behavior; these are just a couple of examples on my blog:

(Link): Why Sex-Positive Feminism is Falling Out of Fashion by S. Greenberg – excerpts via New York Times

(Link): Did Hell Freeze Over?: Liberal Rag Promotes Idea that Celibacy is Acceptable, and a Valid Life Choice / Re: 2016 Study Says Millennials Aren’t Having Much Sex

Progressives / Abuse Advocates Define Christianity to = Democrat Party, Progressive Values and Views

Many of the abuse advocates under consideration in this blog post I am discussing are politically driven (or some have left-leaning sympathies).

They conflate Christianity with leftism, progressive views, causes, and the Democratic Party, and reject anyone who doesn’t agree with all their socio-political views.

Here is my reaction to what got the ball rolling (tweet link – my comment – and here is a link to the original R L Stollar comment I was replying to):

Link to Tweet embedded below.

So this Stollar guy initially did a tweet with a link to this page (also linked to below, with excerpt) at Right Wing Watch – of course he did.

Does Stollar ever follow sites with names like “Left Wing Watch” (i.e., any accounts that are critical of progressive ideology?) – probably not.

Continue reading “The Obnoxious Abuse Survivor Community Is Targeting Julie Roys Again – this time begun by R L Stollar”

Narcissistic Men Are More Prone to Premature Ejaculation: Study

Narcissistic Men Are More Prone to Premature Ejaculation: Study

(Link): Narcissistic men are more prone to premature ejaculation: study

July 6, 2022
By Adriana Diaz

Narcissistic men are more prone to premature ejaculation and trouble orgasming, a new study found.

The study, “Narcissism, sexual response, and sexual and relationship satisfaction” published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, was conducted with 1,287 men ages 18 to 35 answering questions about their sexual activity in the last 12 to 24 months.

They were rated using the Hurlbert Index of Sexual Narcissism and asked questions including “In sex, I like to be the one in charge” and “Pleasing yourself in sex is most important.”

Continue reading “Narcissistic Men Are More Prone to Premature Ejaculation: Study”

Victim Blaming Codependents, or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors

Victim Blaming Codependents or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors

The concept of Codependency is not victim-blaming.

The concept of Codependency does not pathologize domestic abuse survivors,  targets of narcissistic abuse, or other victims of other types of abuse, contrary to a lot of online rhetoric I have seen, and I don’t care what psychiatrist with what degree behind his name has stated things like, “Codependency is victim blaming and pathologizing!” – that psychiatrist, despite his eight years in medical school, is wrong.

He is wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong.

I disagree with him entirely. And I do not have to have a medical degree to see where he’s wrong, and to know that he’s wrong.

I am a recovered codependent, and I remain astounded at people, especially therapists, psychologists, and abuse survivor advocates, who should know better, who never-the-less keep peddling this trope that the concept of Codependency is victim blaming, or it’s too broad in scope to be of much use.

(There are actually other mental health professionals out there who do not believe that Codependency is useless, too broad, or that it pathologizes anyone.)

A few months ago, when news stories about Anna Duggar were more prominent – she’s married to convicted child pornography user Josh Duggar, former reality television show star
– and then, a little later, when so-called abuse survivor advocates, such as Ashley Easter started commenting on that and victim blaming Anna Dugggar, and Amy Smith of Watchkeep began attacking journalist Julie Roys, I kept seeing these people, and others who follow them, showcase a very stunning misunderstanding of, or in some cases, a lack of awareness of, Codependency.

I may in the future do more posts – ones specific to Ashley Easter, Anna Duggar, and the Amy Smith – Julie Roys fiasco from months back – but for this post, I wanted to address this topic via at least two videos I saw on Dr. Ramani’s You Tube Channel.

Dr. Ramani is a psychologist who specializes in treating victims of narcissistic abuse.

I actually like Dr. Ramani quite a bit, and I’ve seen and listened to many of her videos. I like her on a personal level, and I think she’s quite astute.

I do  not feel comfortable being critical of someone who I usually agree with often, and who I find to be personable, but Dr. Ramani made a few comments in some of her videos here and there, pertaining to codependency, which I didn’t entirely agree with.

And no, I myself do not have to be a psychologist or have a mental health degree to form opinions or conclusions based upon what I hear and see!

While I do not have a mental health degree, I am college educated, and I did spend the past several years researching mental health topics. I did take psychology courses in college, but that is not what I earned my degree in.

So, I may not be an “expert” on mental health topics (in a degreed sense), but I am not an entirely uninformed person.

Continue reading “Victim Blaming Codependents, or Victim Blaming People Who Exhibit Codependent Behaviors”

Guy Cheated On His Girlfriend After She Gave Him One Of Her Kidneys To Save His Life 

Guy Cheated On His Girlfriend After She Gave Him One Of Her Kidneys To Save His Life 

What an ingrate. What male entitlement. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a narcissist or sociopath.

I’d be seething with rage if I were her. – At least for awhile, but in situations like these, if you stay in that anger and rage, it can end up eating you up inside and you can waste precious time that way.

In the long run, it can be best for your mental health if, after you allow yourself time to grieve or feel enraged, to eventually let it go so you can move on.

It’s also stories like this one below that make me feel better about walking away from codependency a few years ago.

Back when I was a codependent, (because my mother and gender complementarian church I was raised in encouraged me to think that being a “godly woman” meant being a doormat, so they instilled all sorts of codependent behaviors into me and my thinking), I was taken advantage of constantly, by so many people – by my ex fiance, co-workers, family, friends.

I could totally see myself having done something like donate a kidney to a friend or boyfriend I knew years ago. These days? Nope. No way. Good luck with your dialysis!

The following story comes from the Bored Panda site, which has a bad habit of telling the main part of their news stories by embedding images (screen captures) from IG, Twitter, texts, and e-mails. I am not going to type all that, so if you want the full context of this story and see the comments this man and woman made to one another, click the link and view the screen caps on the page.

I think the guy in this story claimed to be a Christian – this is another strike against the Christian “equally yoked” rule. Your average Non-Christian guy is apt to treat you better than this so-called “Christian” one.

(Link): Guy Cheated On His Girlfriend After She Gave Him One Of Her Kidneys To Save His Life 

July 15, 2022

by Robertas Lisickis and Saulė Tolstych

… Donating an organ is considered one of the most altruistic things anyone could do, so you’d think there’d also be a high degree of gratitude in response, right?

Meet 30-year-old Colleen Le from Yorba Linda, California, with whom Bored Panda got in touch. Not too long ago, Colleen shared a video in satire form with the caption “excited my boyfriend gets a second chance at life after getting my kidney”. Plot twist, the last fraction of the second part of the video shows Colleen planking on the bed with the caption “cheats on me”.

Oof.

Well, there is context, so let’s rewind.

Continue reading “Guy Cheated On His Girlfriend After She Gave Him One Of Her Kidneys To Save His Life “

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “Married or single, everyone is greedy,” by Esther Wickham, An Essay Which Misrepresents Adult Singles

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “Married or single, everyone is greedy,” by Esther Wickham, An Essay Which Misrepresents Adult Singles

Here is a link to the piece:

(Link): Married or single, everyone is greedy by Esther Wickham

Already, I have to object to the headline alone.

The author, Wickham, acknowledges within the essay that (Link): studies that show that married people are more likely to be selfish than adult singles, to not do things like volunteer at charities or help others, than are single adults.

Studies Show That It’s Married Persons, Not Singles, Who are Self Absorbed

Yet, Wickham tries to depict single adults as being “greedy” too.

No, I’m sorry, no. Studies show the opposite.

This isn’t to say that every single adult single is giving and self-less, but as a group, studies have shown that no, singles, as a group, are not “greedy.”

Conservatives: Old Strategy to Promote Marriage By Depicting Single Adults as Being Selfish, Greedy, or Maladjusted

Also, for decades now, it’s been a staple in conservative Christian circles, in various denominations, that all tend to be “hyper-” pro- marriage and “hyper” pro- nuclear family, to bolster the case for marriage by bashing singleness, and this has increased in the last several years, as marriage rates are on the decline.

Christians (and many conservative think tanks that are hyper pro-nuclear family and pro-marriage) think the way to “sell” and to market marriage to single adults is to make single adults think that singleness is terrible, singleness is greedy and selfishness, and that (Link): singles will supposedly be happier and healthier if they just hurry up and marry already.

(I happen to be a conservative myself, and I am not opposed to marriage or to parenthood, but I am in opposition to these essays by conservatives that bash singleness or single adults, or that exaggerate the benefits of marriage and the nuclear family.)

So one way many conservatives, both secular and Christian, tend to try to pressure or convince singles to marry, or to defend marriage itself, is to portray adult singles as being “selfish,” defective, immature, or as (Link): “ugly losers”.

See Also:

(Link): Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

(Link):  Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

Secular and  Christian conservatives also play the same game with childfree or childless people, women in particular:

Women who are single and/or childless past the age of 25 are often falsely portrayed by conservatives as intentionally choosing to be single and childless (when the reality is, plenty would’ve like to have been married but couldn’t meet an eligible mate), and are further inaccurately depicted in Christian blogs, radio shows, and so on as hating all men, hating babies, or as having chosen career over marriage.

Al Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, has gone so far as (Link): to shame single Christian women for being single off and on over the years, in various blog posts or speaking engagements he’s given, and (Link): has suggested that childless adults are not “fully human.”

Gender Imbalance In Conservative Religious Circles Keeps Women Single

A big reason why a lot of religious women remain single into their 30s and older is that there has been a gender imbalance going on for decades now: there are more single women than single men in many houses of worship.

That is, there are plenty of single women who’d like to marry, but there are no compatible single men for them to marry. They’re not all deliberately choosing to opt out of marriage.

More here:

(Link):  What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue) 

(Link): It’s Not Your Imagination, Single Women: There Literally Aren’t Enough Men Out There – Re: Man Shortage – Follow Up Interview 

(Link): Some Adult Singles Have No Choice But to Delay Marriage Because They Are Too Busy Acting As Caretakers to Elderly Family

(Link): Married to the Job: How a Long-Hours Working Culture Keeps People Single and Lonely by S. Jaffee

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians | Re: Marriage Not Happening for Hetero-sexual Christians Over the Age of 30

(Link):  How the Dating Scene Became Stacked Against Women– via CT, by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link):  Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

I have articles and studies on this blog explaining that there has been a gender imbalance among Mormons and conservative Jews for years now, and this is also the case for conservative Christians.

Some Christians have been waking up to the fact that many Christian single women who’d like to marry aren’t marrying due to lack of suitable male partners,
so we get idiot Christian sociologists such as Mark Regnerus arguing in his articles that Christian women should lower their mate selection criteria:
he actually says if a Christian single woman is opposed to marrying a known pornography addict, that she should ditch that criteria and go ahead and marry a known porn addict.

More on that here:

(Link):  Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage

The Christians who are aware of the lack of potential male mates for single women are actually asking Christian women to abandon Christian sexual ethics or their own personal convictions, all to get married to a man, any man will do, so desperate are these Christian pundits to guilt trip and pressure women into marrying because marriage rates have fallen. It’s disgusting.

The Christian ‘Equally Yoked’ Rule and “Just Have Faith and Wait” Advice Keeps Christian Single Women Single Indefinitely

Christian women especially are brainwashed by evangelical and Baptist Christian sermons and Christian literature to believe in something called the “equally yoked rule,” which states that a Christian single adult should only marry another Christian.

I was raised Southern Baptist (Christian), and I definitely was taught the “equally yoked” rule in dating and marriage sermons and Christian dating advice books when younger.

I was also taught by Christians to expect that if I prayed and trusted God to send me a husband, and if I lived a godly lifestyle, had faith, and attended church regularly, that God would provide me with a Christian husband, most likely at a church.

I followed all the Christian advice about how to live life, that taught me if I just followed it, God would bless me with a husband – but although I followed all that Christian advice, had faith, went to church, and lived a clean lifestyle (and later even tried Christian dating sites), I have never married to this day, and I am now a 50-something.

I wrote more about that here:

(Link):  Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work

Related to that:

(Link): Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

(Link):  Never-Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers To Send Him A Wife

What happened over the course of my life is that every church I attended (I moved around growing up) there were no single men I attended at the churches I went to.

The only men in attendance at Baptist churches I went to when I was in my 20s and 30s were married men, or 82 year old widowed men, or a smattering of really weird, socially awkward, obese and smelly, socially mal-adjusted, creepy, 30- to- 50 something year old single men (but mostly, the ones I kept running into were men who were married or else way too old for me).

If I had married in my 20s, I was obviously wanting to marry a man in his 20s, not an 82 year old man.

Christian Women Brainwashed to be Pathologically Giving, Empathetic (Non-Selfish) – Codependency for Women is Enshrined Via Incorrect Biblical Interpretations and the Gender Complementarian Doctrine

I spent years being very codependent (which I am (Link): no longer).

My mother and the complementarian Baptist churches I was raised in presented “biblical womanhood” as being near identical to codependency, which means I was pathologically non-greedy, and un-selfish for over 35 years.

It wasn’t until my late 40s, due to life experience, and having read books and articles by psychologists about codependency, that I started, finally, in a healthy way, began prioritizing my own needs, dreams, and goals in life, instead of feeling obligated to run around rescuing other people and helping them meet their goals in life at the expense of my goals and dreams.

I spent over 35 years being non-greedy as an un-married adult – not greedy, but non-greedy.

Yes, Married People Tend to Run Self Absorbed, Because Unlike Singles, They Can Afford to Do So

And yes, anecdotally, (research studies aside), and I know that the author, Wickham, may not want to hear this, but the reality is, I can tell you that many married couples are, yes, “insular,” which makes them “greedy.”

Married couples turn to each other to get their emotional needs met, as well as companionship needs met.

Married couples do not like to hang out with single adults… but they will do selfish, self serving things such as phone their single adult friend when their spouse goes out of town on a business trip or deployment for weeks or months, because they get lonely without their spouse around.

The moment that married friend’s spouse returns, though, they go back to basically ignoring you, their single friend, because they were just “using” you so long as their spouse was out of town and they felt lonely.

I’ve had single adult women friends who began to ignore me 99% of the time the moment they got a boyfriend or got married – and then they stopped staying in touch with me (unless their spouse left for a business trip, as I just explained).

More here:

(Link): Women Who Dump Women Friends As Soon As They Get A Spouse or Boyfriend (Letter to Advice Columnist)

And to all you married people out there that keep turning to your spouse and get lazy at developing your relationships outside of your marriage: your spouse is going to die one day, perhaps before you.

I am constantly seeing “married with young children” couples complain about how exhausting it is to be a parent.

This is particularly true of the mothers who write (Link): these cloying essays on various sites begging their adult single women friends to run over and play “free babysitter” for them, or do housework for them, so they can take a nap.

I see many extremist, pro-Family Christians write articles going back decades and books advising single adults (especially women) that it’s our duty or obligation, as a single woman, to act as free maid service or free baby sitters to the married mothers out there.

I never, ever see Christians writing books or articles telling married couples with kids or no to provide help or assistance to their single and childless adult friends. This “help” only runs one way, and (Link): never in the direction of the single and childless adults.

After having re-read the essay by Wickham, I don’t think she has a full picture of why some remain single, and it’s not fully because “the institutions that traditionally provided couples with support” are on the wane.

The very first and crucial hurdle many women face, especially conservative religious women, is just finding a suitable, single conservative religious man to start with – such men are not in churches.

Most religious women are not going to try to find a man in a night club or bar. Dating sites are filled with perverts and weirdos, including self-professing Christian ones.

I will be returning to commenting more on Wickham’s essay below these excerpts:

Excerpts from the essay:

(Link): Married or single, everyone is greedy by Esther Wickham

Marriage — it’s an institution that a majority of people desire for themselves but one that struggles to flourish in a society that prioritizes individualism and scorns the institutions that traditionally provided couples with support. No wonder, then, that some have decided they’re better off without it.

In a recent interview with the Atlantic, Dr. Bella DePaulo, 68, who worked as a psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, admitted she’s spent her whole life as a single person with no desire for marriage.

… Yet DePaulo pointed out that many of the married couples who are supposed to be happier than her have begun to disconnect from their communities and isolate themselves. Their marriage, she said, becomes greedy.

…. Research suggests DePaulo is, in some ways, correct. A New York Times article “found that married respondents were significantly less likely than the unmarried to contact or see their parents and siblings. … The married are also less frequently spent time with or helped friends and neighbors. … More than 80% of never-married individuals said they’d called or written to their parents in the last month, compared with just 60% of married people. Likewise, around 70% of unmarried people but only 30% of the married had socialized with friends in the last month.”

However, DePaulo overstated her case. Married people inevitably have different priorities than those who are single. They are often focused on raising children and building a home, both of which are time-intensive responsibilities.

Moreover, it is normal for married couples to spend what free time they do have on each other.

… To be sure, married couples should make their communities a priority and resist the temptation to isolate themselves. But to say that most married couples are greedy for spending too much time with their spouses and not enough with family and friends is to misunderstand the very purpose of marriage.

Surely in a society that overemphasizes “self-love,” couples who prioritize each other should be viewed favorably. There’s nothing wrong with a “greedy marriage,” nor is there anything wrong with singlehood — so long as both lifestyles are lived in moderation, of course.
— end excerpts —-

DePaulo was right on the money and was not “over stating” her case.

History of Marriage in the USA

Contrary to what this author writes, no, marriage was not “always that way.”

I’ve read other research and studies that explain that in the past, in the United States, couples did not spend as much time with each other as they’ve been doing the last 50 or so years – they would invest more time with extended family and so on than they do now.

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding the Essay “Married or single, everyone is greedy,” by Esther Wickham, An Essay Which Misrepresents Adult Singles”

I Woke From a Coma After Five Months To Find Out My Fiance’ Had Ghosted Me and Moved in With Someone Else, Woman Reveals

I Woke From a Coma After Five Months To Find Out My Fiance’ Had Ghosted Me and Moved in With Someone Else, Woman Reveals

And yet, even in 2022, there are some people who suggest that being married is necessary to feel or to be complete, or to be ethical, mature, or godly.

You can find someone who you believe is your “soul mate” and still end up being abused or let down by that person.

So these people out there pushing marriage as making people more happy, healthy, content, or whatever, than not being married, should stop promoting such bogus views.

I do relate to, and can sympathize with, the woman’s comments about her fiance’ ghosting her making it difficult for her to trust people any more.

I went through a situation or two in my life that were quite eye opening and made me see clearly for the first time how very selfish and self absorbed most people are, and it can be difficult to trust people once you see this.

(Link): Brie Duval wakes up from coma to find partner blocked her on social media

by Yaron Steinbuch

An Australian woman has revealed how her long-term boyfriend blocked her on social media and shacked up with another woman while she was in a coma after a devastating accident.

Perth native Brie Duval, 25, was living in Canada with her partner of four years when she fell headfirst from a parking garage after a night out with friends on Aug. 29, 2021, the UK’s Mirror reported.

Deval was rushed by helicopter to the University of Alberta Hospital, where she was placed on life support with a traumatic brain injury and multiple broken bones.

Continue reading “I Woke From a Coma After Five Months To Find Out My Fiance’ Had Ghosted Me and Moved in With Someone Else, Woman Reveals”

Dear Prudence: “Help! My Sister Thinks I Should Give Up a Promotion to Continue Being Her Free Babysitter.”

Dear Prudence: “Help! My Sister Thinks I Should Give Up a Promotion to Continue Being Her Free Babysitter.”

I’m a conservative, I am not against motherhood or women wanting to have children.

Having said that, I’ve noticed that some of the most entitled (or rude) a-holes I’ve ever seen online (aside from “anti theist atheists,” men’s rights groups, and trans activists) are mothers.

But not all mothers are awful – my own mother was pretty wonderful, and I’ve been friends with women who have children and who are perfectly wonderful people, too.

There are, though, some mothers who are entitled, un-sympathetic, demanding, a-holes.

I have other examples on my blog of entitled parents (usually mothers) acting like spoiled, demanding, bratty a-holes towards their childless and/or single friends or siblings.

The married with children sister as described in the letter below sounds like a big, honking narcissist – she’s very self absorbed and entitled.

The single, childless sister doesn’t owe her continual, free baby-sitting…

(what is it with so many mothers whining about how tiring motherhood is and expecting all their friends and family – usually the single ones – to drop everything to be free baby sitters?
If you can’t handle the responsibility of having children, you should be sexually abstinent or should’ve used birth control),

… the sister certainly does not deserve or is entitled to free baby sitting services at the expense of her sister’s job promotion!

Please be sure to see the additional comments I made BELOW the following link with excerpts:

(Link): Help! My Sister Thinks I Should Give Up a Promotion to Continue Being Her Free Babysitter.

Excerpts:

It’s not my fault her life is a mess.

Advice By R. Eric Thomas
JUNE 02, 2022

Dear Prudence,

I am happily single, while my sister is married to the biggest man-baby on the planet. He thinks putting a dirty dish in the sink is worthy of a parade and being a good parent is telling my sister the baby is crying before going back to his video game.

Both work full time, but my sister takes care of the kids, the house, and the dogs, and she constantly leans on me to help out (while complaining about her husband refusing to).

I have been watching and raising my young nieces since they were born when my sister can’t.

I love them to pieces—but I have been waiting for them to get old enough so my sister doesn’t have to pay for expensive infant care.

I am tired of being expected to pick them up from school five days a week and to take care of them when my sister works weekends while my brother-in-law goes camping with his friends.

My sister has gone back and forth about getting a divorce for years, and I have tried to be as neutral as I could possibly be, but we have fought about it. She tells me I can’t understand that a marriage is about compromise and companionship—I don’t get an opinion.

Continue reading “Dear Prudence: “Help! My Sister Thinks I Should Give Up a Promotion to Continue Being Her Free Babysitter.””

Working Millennial Moms Complain Their Husbands Treat Them Like Housewives

Working Millennial Moms Complain Their Husbands Treat Them Like Housewives

Another news piece pointing out that motherhood is not fun, relaxing, or rewarding – certainly not consistently. Nor is marriage.

(Link): Working millennial moms complain their husbands treat them like housewives

May 19, 2022
By Jeanette Settembre

… Millennial moms are opening up about how motherhood strikes a blow to their equitable marriages, where babies seem to transform their supposedly feminist husbands into old-school, hands-off, 1950’s-style dads.

Despite remaining outwardly supportive of their wives’ careers, these secret traditionalists want partners who do all the childcare, cooking and cleaning, the women say, expecting them to kick off from work and turn into June Cleaver from “Leave it to Beaver.”

Continue reading “Working Millennial Moms Complain Their Husbands Treat Them Like Housewives”

An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful

An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful

A link to this article, from a site and Twitter account called “Truth Over Tribe,” came through my Twitter feed today.

I don’t think I am following these guys; this was a suggestion by Twitter that appeared in my timeline. The “Truth Over Tribe” site says on their site that they are “too liberal for conservatives and too conservative for liberals.”

Okay… I’m somewhat in the same place. I’m a conservative who occasionally disagrees with other conservatives, but I sure don’t agree with many positions of progressives.

After having skimmed over some articles on this site – the site owner and author seems to be a Patrick Miller – he seems to lean left of center.

I can tell he’s left of center from some of the commentary and language he’s used – for one, in the article below, he puts his Intersectional Feminism (a left wing concept) on full display by talking about how “self care” was really started by black people, white women love it, and these days, only white woman can (financially) afford it. (Though I didn’t quote those portions of his article below, but they are over on his site.)

(Does Miller realize that left wing darling BLM (Black Lives Matter) is misleading people financially or that they spend more on transgenderism than on race related issues?)

At any rate, let’s get on to the article on this site that alarmed me, and I will provide a few excerpts, and then I will comment on them to explain why I feel this piece goes horribly wrong:

(Link):  Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness

Excerpts:

by Patrick Miller

“To be happy, you need to leave toxic people behind.” The preaching Peloton instructor continued, “I’m talking about people who take more than they give. People who don’t care about your dreams. People whose selfishness impedes your ability to do what you want to do.”

 Oh crap. She just described my two-year-old. I guess it’s time to cut him off.

This is the gospel of self-care. The notion that the most important person in my life is me, and anyone who impedes my happiness is an existential threat to my emotional and physical well-being. …

… What’s the Religion of Self Care?

Continue reading “An Assessment of the Article “Why the Religion of Self-Care is Really Sanctified Selfishness” – Christian Author is Indirectly Promoting Codependency, Which is Harmful”