People Calling ‘Canadian Susan’ the Worst Bride Ever After Bizarre Facebook Rant Goes Viral
She is entitled and sounds like a nightmare.
People Calling ‘Canadian Susan’ the Worst Bride Ever After Bizarre Facebook Rant Goes Viral
She is entitled and sounds like a nightmare.
An Update On My Self-Absorbed Ex Friend “Doug” – The Friend Who Made My Mother’s Death All About Himself
Here is the background on this post – if you want to know more about Doug (not his real name), and why I am angry at Doug, please see this previous post for the details:
(Link): People Really Hack Me Off (Part 2) The Clueless Christian Who Likes To Send You Upbeat Updates About Himself In Reply To Your Announcement of Your Mother’s Death (ex friend of mine named “Doug”)
The very, very short of that post is that…
Doug was a Christian guy who is very self-absorbed, ever since I knew him back in our twenties when we went to college together, and he later made my mother’s death all about him.
He sent me an insensitive reply to my e-mail telling everyone on my e-mail account that my mother had passed, and I had sent this e-mail within a few days of the funeral.
He wrote back to send me a very chipper, upbeat response going on and on about how great his life was going.
“Doug” didn’t care about me or what I was going through. He didn’t hardly comment on my mother’s passing – his e-mail reply was mainly about him, him, him, and him.
For the next two to three years, I stopped all contact with Doug, until I finally sent him a link to a page about how NOT to talk to someone in grief.
I told him in that e-mail he was guilty of doing to me what that page said NOT to do.
Doug wrote back, defended himself, dug his heels in, and he actually had the audacity to lecture me on how he thinks I should be handling and reacting to my own mother’s death.
(At that point in time, he had not even lost anyone close to him, so he was in no place to offer such condescending advice.)
I wrote him back, chewed him out over that, and told him never to write me again.
I heard from Doug (not his real name) a few weeks ago (July 2018, or maybe late June).
He sent me some kind of private request on Facebook.
It was not a friend request, but some kind of request to talk to me privately on Facebook’s messenger system or something.
There was an “accept” and a “decline” button attached to that notification.
My Fiancé Postponed our Wedding, Secretly Bought a House—and Told me I Could Pay Rent By Quentin Fottrell
What a jerk-face loser.
(Link): My fiancé postponed our wedding, secretly bought a house—and told me I could pay rent By Quentin Fottrell
They were due to get married on April 18, but he delayed the wedding and bought a house instead
I have never been married or bought a home before. The guy I am with said we would marry on April 18.
He then decided to delay and buy a foreclosure and told me this all on April 16.
I was shocked, to say the least. He owns a home already and said that he did not plan to put me on the mortgage or deed even after we were married. I, again, was in shock. He said I could just pay some of the bills and “rent” to him.
Five Signs The Person You Are Dating Is Using You by L. Rose
I’m only going to provide excerpts, so if you want to see all five reasons, please use the link to visit their page.
Here’s what you need to look out for.
And actually, feeling good with the person is also a sign that you are not being used.
The person you’re with should build you up, make you feel happy and like life is better than it is without them.
When Your Husband Doesn’t Care About Your Sexual Desires by S. Gregoire
This belies the usual Christian commentary that if a person just reserves sex for marriage, that the marriage will be great, frequent, etc. The truth is I regularly see letters to editors by married women who are dissatisfied with their husband’s sexual performance in the bedroom. Another example:
(Link): When Your Husband Doesn’t Care About Your Sexual Desires by S. Gregoire
What do you do if your husband isn’t interested in hearing your sexual fantasies or desires–let alone acting on them?
…In a healthy marriage, spouses care about the other person’s pleasure and desires.
…When we make sex only about one person’s experience, though, then we’re totally erasing what God said sex was for. Sex is not just about meeting a man’s sexual needs; sex is about helping both of you feel super close.
So why do so many people seem to only focus on their own sexual needs?
Some people think that their experience of sex is the only right one
It may not be that they’re entirely selfish. It may honestly be that they don’t understand how their spouse works sexually.
Self-Absorbed Man Hi-Jacks Wedding Ceremony
There goes the stereotypical evangelical Christian propaganda that the reason you’re still single past the age of 30 is because you’re still too (insert one or more: selfish, immoral, irresponsible, immature, ugly) to get a spouse, and God won’t send you one ’til you get your stuff together.
Forget that. The idiot in this following story was proposing marriage to someone…
The Internet is (Link): straight-up livid about this egregious wedding etiquette offense, and you will be too.
A recent bride wrote in to (Link): Slate’s advice columnist Dear Prudence (a.k.a. Mallory Ortberg) about “John” ― her huband’s best friend, best man, and wedding officiant ― who had the audacity to propose to his longtime girlfriend and announce their pregnancy DURING the ceremony.
On top of that, “John” ― not his real name ― found other ways to make the rest of the day about him and his fiancée “Jane.” The bride explained:
Go to Counseling to Deal With that Man-Child You Married (Hax Column)
(I got a notification from Word Press that today is this blog’s Seventh Year Anniversary. Yay me, I guess.)
My views about divorce have changed over the last two or three years. I still think people should take marriage seriously. I don’t think I want to spend much time in THIS post discussing those changes – I’ll try to keep this short.
I was raised in a Christian tradition that taught that adultery was the only reason a person could divorce and not be in sin. Suffice it to say, I used to sort of buy into that view, too, but that was when I was younger and a little more naive about relationships and people.
Take the letter below as an example. The woman’s husband had an affair, and on those grounds, a lot of Christians (not all, but many) would say she has a “biblical” right to divorce the dude. Other than the adultery, based on what the wife says, the husband sounds like an arrogant, uncaring, selfish jackass.
Actor Supposedly Too Self-Absorbed to Get or Keep a Girlfriend
I’m not sure if this is true or not – it comes via a celebrity site.
While some women can be very self-absorbed, I think this is more of a male tendency, because it is culturally supported.
Most of us American women are taught while still in childhood that it is selfish for us to get our own needs met, that we should only cater to the needs of those around us, and we should be really nurturing and supportive to those around us. Boys do not usually get this same sort of conditioning.
So, these boys grow into men who are accustomed to females catering to them and listening to them chatter away about themselves endlessly.
Most women are not happy with this, by the way.
We women grow to resent and loathe giving men un-reciprocated emotional support more and more the older we get.
A lot of our culture and god knows gender complementarian Christian churches advocate this view that women exist merely to serve, cheer on, and encourage men.
So, a lot of you men just assume a woman should be there for you, listen to you talk about yourself and your problems for hours on end, and offer words of support.
My ex fiance’ was certainly like this – he was very self absorbed and dominated all of our phone and in-person conversations, and never asked about me or how I was doing.
My ex expressed NO interest in me or my life, but he would sure expect me to sit and listen to him gab about him and his hobbies, job, etc, all the time. It was so very annoying.
I grind my teeth just thinking about all the times I sat there for an hour or longer listening to him go on and on about himself in phone calls or over dinner dates.
If you are a man who is dating around and you’re puzzled as to why you cannot get a girlfriend, it may just be because you are too self-absorbed and don’t show an interest in the women you are with.
You may be spending too much time talking about yourself and you don” ask the woman you’re with about her thoughts or about her life.
This actor they are discussing (who a lot of women find very sexy) played “Superman” in a few movies:
Playing Superman has clearly gone to the Brit actor’s head, pals say.
May 3, 2017, by R. Sanchez
Playing Superman has gone to Henry Cavill ’s head: The Brit actor is so full of himself, sources say, he’s having trouble finding a girlfriend.
Eight Obvious Signs Your Partner is Taking Advantage of You
I’m including the parts that remind me of my ex fiance’, who, aside from a certain family member of mine, is THE most self-absorbed person I’ve ever known or met. He never cared about my needs, but he expected me to meet HIS needs.
He also expected me to help him pay his bills (which I did on occasion), but he didn’t help me pay mine, when I fell on hard times. What a selfish, entitled jerk. But a lot of men are socialized by culture and their churches or parents to think this is normal – that the woman exists to meet the MAN’S needs, but he isn’t expected or required to reciprocate.
(Link): Eight Obvious Signs Your Partner is Taking Advantage of You by H. Rose
…No one deserves to be taken advantage of, over-ruled or degraded. If your significant other is constantly tearing you down and causing you to dwell on negative emotions, leave the relationship.
You deserve the best. If your relationship contains any of these eight signs, seek help and get out of your relationship… fast!
…It is all about your partners needs
Does your partner ever call to ask how your day went? Do they go out of their way to make sure you are genuinely doing OK? Do they ask you about the small details about your life? Continue reading “Eight Obvious Signs Your Partner is Taking Advantage of You by H. Rose”
Being ‘Selfish’ in My Dating Was the Best Decision I Could Have Made by Z. Zane
Here is the link:
(Link): Being ‘Selfish’ in My Dating Was the Best Decision I Could Have Made by Zachary Zane (excerpts farther below)
This piece was written by a man, and he might be a homosexual, based on the stock photo illustrating it, which shows a man walking down the street and laughing with another man – after skimming more of the article, yes, he appears to be homosexual (he talks about dating men).
If this guy is homosexual, I can say as a hetero woman, I related to most of what he wrote.
I am a recovering codependent – and it sounds to me as though the guy who wrote this page, Zane, is also a codependent, or was one at one time.
Codependency usually seems to affect women, but some men can be codependent also.
A lot of stereotypes women are expected to live out and uphold by churches, Christians (under “gender complementarian” or “biblical womanhood” teachings), and secular culture, are actually facets of codependency, and some examples of that are: being passive, compliant, thinking it’s selfish to put yourself first and get your own needs met, and so forth.
If you continually put the needs of another person ahead of your own, you will grow resentful of it eventually, and either explode in anger at the other person or break things off (such as seeking a divorce).
A Comedian Started a ‘DeadDadTinder’ Instagram to find out if Men Actually Read her Dating Site Bio
Before I paste the link in and the excerpts, I wanted to say a few things.
In my years with online dating (I joined two or three sites and was a paying member of at least two for about a year), I did find that most men, most of the time, do NOT read a woman’s profile.
All most men do is look at the photo of the woman on the dating site and decide if they find her attractive enough to want to date. That is incredibly SEXIST, men. Knock that shit off pronto. Women can usually tell if you’ve actually read our profiles or not, and it’s annoying and insulting when we know you’re only contacting us based on our photos.
Regarding the link I am pasting into this post: I read of a similar experiment by another woman a few years ago. She put a bunch of weird stuff in one of her dating profiles, saying things like she’s a serial killer and so on, but men still wanted to date her ANYWAY.
She tried to make herself sound as dangerous, unglued, disturbed, and messed up and UN-dateable as possible, but most men just ignored her commentary to message her, based on her photo.
(The 700 Club episode I am discussing in this post: Air date Feb 21, 2017)
Women of America are STILL writing Pat Robertson for relationship advice. A phenomenon which prompted me to write this months ago:
For the love of pickles, people of America, stop sending this guy your questions about dating, love, marriage, and divorce! Anyway.
Regarding the first letter on the video: Contra Pat Robertson, the Bible does NOT teach that the “husband is the head of the household.”
But I am writing this post in regards to the second or third letter on this video (embedded below; Link to Video, You Tube).
Additional commentary by me is below this letter:
My husband and I have been married for 21 years but have been together for 28.
We have two children, ages 26 and 25. Our 25 year old son is autistic and mentally disabled and needs constant care.
I alone care for our son.
My husband does not work or help in anyway. I struggle to make ends meet.
Why Women Are Tired: The Price of Unpaid Emotional Labor by C. Hutchison
(Link): Why Women Are Tired: The Price of Unpaid Emotional Labor by C. Hutchison
My comments about this subject, before copying some excerpts from the link above:
Another form of Male Entitlement: expecting the women around you to cheer you up, listen empathetically as you tell them about your problems. (Though other women can also be guilty of this at times, as I wrote of (Link): here).
In a (Link): much older post I wrote, where I linked to and excerpted an article from elsewhere, some guy in the article admitted that when he went to a local bar after a day at work, he enjoyed the female bartender more than the male ones, because any time he tried to talk about his problems (and receive empathy for his problems) from the males, the male bartenders would tell him to shut up and get over it.
However, when the lady bartender was on duty, she would listen to him and offer sympathy, he said. He relied on and appreciated her willingness to listen and respond with empathy.
My ex-fiance talked non-stop (as I wrote of (Link): here). He always wanted me to listen to him talk about his life, he never cared about mine, and he never asked about my views on anything. My ex expected me to stroke his ego and cheer him up in his ups and downs in life – but he was unwilling to do this for me.
My ex college friend made my mother’s death (Link): all about himself when I sent him notice of my mother’s passing. He talked about himself in his reply to me, instead of just doing what he should have and said, “I’m sorry for your loss.”. This ex friend making everything about himself was a pattern for him.
Even before my mother died, my ex college friend would e-mail me and talk about himself – he would ask me a question or two about me, but when I would write back commenting on HIS life – as well as responding to his questions about my life – he would never comment on my replies ABOUT ME.
I got the feeling he was asking about me only out of a sense of politeness. I don’t think he really cared about me or what I was up to or what I was thinking.
While some women can be very self absorbed and can be emotional vampires (I’ve been friends with a few and am related to one), I think at least most women are aware that they’re doing this to another women (and women tend to be aware of how it can be draining to be someone’s emotional support), but men seem to have a blind spot in this area.
Jaded, Bitter, Entitled Sam The Single Man Claims that All Women Who Say “They Aren’t That Kind of Girl” Are Liars
The guy who wrote this letter to ‘Ask Amy’ sounds like a bitter, cynical, entitled sexist ass-hat.
I for one “am not that kind of girl.” Women such as me do in fact exist. If you date me, and I turn down sex on the basis of, “I’m not that kind of girl,” I am speaking the truth.
I am over the age of 40 and still a virgin. Even though now my views on sex have relaxed, and I’d be willing to have sex prior to marriage, but not on a first date, or even a second date, but only within the context of a steady, committed relationship.
So yes, to you assh*le who wrote this letter to Ask Amy, “Sam,” some women are in fact “not that kind of girl” and do not have sex with a man they’ve just met.
I think you don’t want a steady relationship but a one-night stand, in which case, stop using dating sites like eHarmony, Yahoo Personals, or Match and stick with “Booty Call .com” or “Tindr,” which are designed specifically for casual sex, you idiot.
When two people first meet and the guy wants to have sex, why is it that many women say, “I am not that kind of girl, and I need to get to know you better“?
That is actually a big lie that women tell. After all, if the guy who wanted to have sex with them was George Clooney, it’s unthinkable that they would say, “I’m not that kind of girl.”
Every woman is “that kind of girl” with a select few men under the right circumstances.
Love-Sick Teenager Who Won’t Take No For an Answer is Finally Shut Down by his Ex-Girlfriend’s FATHER in an Epic Text Exchange – Men of All Ages Need To Learn to Handle Rejection and to Respect Other People’s Boundaries in Dating
If there are any MEN reading this – especially men over the age of 21 – you need to realize that some of you are just as bad in your online behavior, especially on dating sites and apps, as this 15 year old kid is.
See how obnoxiously persistent this teen kid is, how he keeps dragging this exchange on and on with the teen girl’s father? This is how 90% of you men over the age of 21 behave towards grown women online, especially on dating sites.
You men refuse to take “no” from women for an answer, or to choose to view a woman turning you down as the ultimate insult.
You men take rejection by women far too personally, and send negative, nasty, insulting comments to some women, all for merely politely turning you down on a site, for refusing to give you their number, or going on a date with you.
Women you don’t know (single women) don’t owe you squat in life – women don’t owe you a smile, flirtation, chit chat, their phone numbers, sex, emotional support, or dates.
You will be turned down as you go through life by various women you flirt with or ask on dates – it’s a reality. Get over it. Learn to let go, accept defeat graciously, and stop taking it so damn personally.
Learn to respect other people’s boundaries. If a woman or girl tells you “no” or “not interested,” just let it go. Don’t send the girl or woman nasty, insulting messages if or when she turns you down. Just move along.
Continue reading “Love-Sick Teenager Who Won’t Take No For an Answer is Finally Shut Down by his Ex-Girlfriend’s FATHER in an Epic Text Exchange – Men of All Ages Need To Learn to Handle Rejection and to Respect Other People’s Boundaries in Dating”
‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner
(Link): ‘It’s not me, it’s you’: a loser’s guide to dealing with rejection by The Guyliner
Advances in technology, and the urge to express ourselves as loudly as possible, mean rejection has never been so easy to dole out. Swiping left on Tinder, blocking on Twitter, marching to the polling booth: a firm no is never far away, but the bitter sting never fails to shock.
We’ve witnessed an unusually high level of public rejection over the last few turbulent weeks, from politicians discovering their posses were lacking compadres and feeling their ambition turn to ash in their mouths, to the much-maligned EU, sadly opening its Dear John letter from 52% of the UK, all calls going straight to voicemail.
Rejection can teach you a lot about yourself and those around you. “No” may never be music to your ears, but you can learn to take it with dignity. Or, at the very least, store up ample fuel for your revenge.
….On a dating app
“Why don’t they love me?” I’d cry when I was single, throwing myself on to a fainting couch whenever someone I’d contacted didn’t reciprocate.
The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile by S. Farris
I would also add to the list on the page I am linking to:
Hetero Men who are seeking women on dating sites and apps: do not send women unsolicited penis photos; do not have anything mentioning sex on your profile, and do not mention (or joke about) sex in any of your “must have” lists on dating sites or any part of your profile.
I don’t care if you are totally into sex and think sex is mucho importante in a relationship, any mention of sex (even if you think it’s funny to put vulgar jokes on your profile) is a turn-off (and / or creepy) to most women.
You wait until you have been dating a person for awhile to bring sex up, and even then, you should be TASTEFUL about it, not crass or perverted or weird.
Working with April Masini, a New York City-based relationship expert and psychotherapist, we analyzed responses from women who are currently active on the online dating scene.
Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel
It sure does seem that a lot of guys think they are owed sex.
A lot of Christian men not only feel that they are entitled sex (once married), but both before and after marriage, they feel entitled to everything from women: they expect to have their egos stroked all the time, for instance.
Do you Christian men who arrogantly expect women to uplift you and tell you how great you are, ever consider encouraging women in your lives, whether they are single or married?
Women sometimes need or want some external validation, yet whiny men (including Christian ones) seldom consider giving any to women. They rudely assume God put women here only to meet men’s needs. Nope: it goes both ways.
Women have needs too. Women have days or phases in their lives when they get tired, discouraged, worn down and could use a kind word or a helping hand.
Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler
The following blog post contains strong profanity in places and some frank sexual talk.
Not that I object to this editorial per se, but it’s being carried by the same site (a pro-life site) that (Link): usually denigrates female virginity – because they put too high a premium on people pro-creating, and if a woman is remaining chaste, she is, in their opinion, in sin, or error or some sort, for not having sex and making babies, because supposedly, a woman’s only purpose in life is to make babies (even though the Bible no where teaches this concept).
But here is a guest editorial they are featuring where the author is defending a person’s right to sexually abstain, and it’ okay.
(Link): Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin
New Hampshire Man Kills Woman After She Refuses His Sexual Advances
New Hampshire Man Kills Woman After She Refuses His Sexual Advances
Men of the world: women do not owe you anything. Women do not owe you sex. Not a date. Not their real name. Not moral support. Not encouragement.
Not their phone number. Not their real life friendship. Not their Facebook friendship, nothing. You are not entitled to anything from women.
I sure do not skip through life feeling as though men owe me anything – except courtesy and to respect my boundaries. I do not feel as though men owe me dates or anything like that.
I sometimes even see self-professing Christian men who have a huge sense of entitlement when it comes to women. They really expect women to rush to their aid and defense, or make their life easier and cater to their whims, and to act as their cheer-leading squad. Women don’t get, or expect these things from men, yet men expect and demand these things from women.
(Link): Testosterone-Deficient Gamma Male Whines About the ‘Friend Zone’ (post from The Other McCain) – AKA, Ugly, Fat, Weird, Awkward, or Poor Nice Guys Who Unrealistically Expect to Attract Rich, Pretty, Thin, Socially Normal Women