33 Stories From Couples That Have Little To No Sex That Are So Important To Hear, Because Sex Is Not The Be All, End All Of Relationships
May 14, 2022
“Some people just aren’t driven by a need for sex.”
by Hannah MarderBuzzFeed Staff
It might seem like *everyone* is having sex these days, and there is constant messaging in our society and pop culture that sex is necessary to make a romantic relationship work. But…that’s not always the case.
Sex positivity is great, but it’s also important to remember that such a societal prioritization and glamorization of sex — especially penetrative sex — can feel really alienating to people who are on the asexuality spectrum, can’t have certain types of sex (or sex at all) due to medical reasons, or are dealing with trauma.
Because the truth is, sex is great! But it’s not necessary for a relationship — as we can see from the stories here. In case you’re wondering how that works, take a look at these 33 stories from couples who have little to no sex.
Responses were aggregated from this Reddit thread that asked, “Couples in loving relationships who rarely have sex, how do you make it work?” and comments from the BuzzFeed Community!
WARNING: This post contains sexual content and mentions of sexual assault.
1. “I have vaginismus, and my husband and I have been married for two years. We haven’t had penetrative sex, but I take care of him, and I use toys. Eventually, I would like to have penetrative sex, but there’s no rush for us. :)”
2. “A combination of repressed Catholic guilt, childhood trauma, and sexual abuse, and low libidos mean that sex happens somewhat infrequently (but I’m not even sure what the baseline standard is, who’s to say really?), BUT when it does, it’s sweet and enjoyable for both of us. Some people just aren’t driven by a need for sex. We’ve been together for 13 years, married for six.”
3. “I’m sex-repulsed