There Are Ways to Deal With the Sting of Unrequited Friendship by K. Sackville

There Are Ways to Deal With the Sting of Unrequited Friendship by K. Sackville

(Link): There Are Ways to Deal With the Sting of Unrequited Friendship

Excerpts:

We’ve all experienced unrequited friendship in some form, from reaching out to someone who doesn’t reciprocate our interest, to fending off an approach from an acquaintance we don’t particularly like.

Unrequited friendship can be extremely awkward, and surprisingly painful when you’re the one being rejected.

I’ve been unrequited, and it’s demoralising and confusing.

Continue reading “There Are Ways to Deal With the Sting of Unrequited Friendship by K. Sackville”

Dear Prudie: Help! My Boyfriend Refuses to Do Any Housework.

Dear Prudie: Help! My Boyfriend Refuses to Do Any Housework.

When your boyfriend won’t help do housework, you dump him.

But let’s see what Prudie has to say.

(Link): Dear Prudie: Help! My Boyfriend Refuses to Do Any Housework.

By DANIEL MALLORY ORTBERG

Q. The second shift in 2019? When I’m 23? My boyfriend and I live together and we’re incredibly happy.

We’re in our early 20s and live in New York with two full-time jobs and side hustles. We’re both equally ambitious and serious about our future, both professionally and as a couple.

I typically beat him home from work, and while I admit I tend to be the neater roommate and more inclined in the kitchen, we have fallen in the habit of me taking over the cleaning and cooking.

My boyfriend vocalizes that he’s appreciative of everything I do but groans and drags his feet when I ask him to help out too.

Continue reading “Dear Prudie: Help! My Boyfriend Refuses to Do Any Housework.”

Hax Column: 30-Something Guy Refuses to Marry Anyone Who’s Already Been Married

You have to like these guys who sound like awful people but who are very demanding and picky about who they want to date and marry.

Like the guy described in this letter.

DEAR CAROLYN (Hax):

My brother has been dating a woman for about a year, and my entire immediate family does not like her. Even my super easygoing husband thinks she is terrible. I am serious. She is manipulative, passive-aggressive, immature, and has a self-righteous streak that goes for miles.

My mom is just crushed that this girl will likely marry my brother. I think if he thinks she is so great then let him make this HUGE mistake.

He is 34 and complains that there are so few women out there who have never married and have no kids (requirements for him), so I think he is feeling a bit desperate.

Continue reading “Hax Column: 30-Something Guy Refuses to Marry Anyone Who’s Already Been Married”

I’m In My 40s, Want To Marry, But Never Like A Guy More Than A Year (Letter to Advice Columnist)

I’m In My 40s, Want To Marry, But Never Like A Guy More Than A Year (Letter to Advice Columnist)

(Link):  I’m in my 40s, want to marry, but never like a guy more than a year. (Letter to Advice Columnist)

Prudie advises a letter writer who is fortysomething, wants to marry, but never likes a guy for more than a year.


[Dear Prudie]:

Q. Uncertain: I’m in my early 40s, never married, no kids, but always wanted both. I’m in a relationship of 10 months. The guy could not be sweeter or a person of better character.

He loves me and treats me well. I was so in love the first six months but he is increasingly getting on my nerves—he is a bit quirky and goofy. And I don’t always find it amusing; increasingly I find it irritating.

Continue reading “I’m In My 40s, Want To Marry, But Never Like A Guy More Than A Year (Letter to Advice Columnist)”

Dear Abby: Parents Stole my Child Support Cash

Dear Abby: Parents Stole my Child Support Cash

Many times, conservative Christians and my fellow social conservatives and right wingers like to insist that parenthood (and marriage) is necessary to ‘fix’ culture or to make people more mature, responsible, and godly.

Problem is, parenthood and marriage does not necessarily make anyone more mature, ethical, and so on, than someone who is single, who never marries, or who never has children.

On this blog, I have link after link (in (Link): other posts on the blog) showcasing numerous real-life examples of married people and/or parents who cheat on each other, abuse children, get arrested for child porn, for soliciting prostitutes, for murdering their spouses or kids, and on and on.

There is nothing intrinsic in the state of being married or being a parent that makes a person more likely to be responsible, mature, or loving. If that were so, Jesus Christ would not have said that humanity’s problem is sin (Jesus Christ did not cite being single and childless as the cause of problems in the world).

To the woman who wrote this letter: your parents are dishonest slime balls who cannot be trusted. If or when you can, break off contact with them! Your parents are toxic and don’t care about you or your needs.

(Link):  Dear Abby: Parents Stole my Child Support Cash

DEAR ABBY: My parents and I were always close. However, recently they stole my debit card, my PIN and child support check. They forged my signature and spent the entire check, which was more than $1,000.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: Parents Stole my Child Support Cash”

Married Couple is Drifting Apart (Ask Amy Letter)

Married Couple is Drifting Apart (Ask Amy Letter)

This guy who wrote the Ask Amy advice columnist has been married for about ten or more years and says he and his wife are drifting apart. (I have pasted a copy of the letter much farther below in this post.)

He essentially says his wife is bored by him and his company and spends a lot of time away from him, out at night, with friends, or else, she’s on the phone a lot with her friends.

I was engaged to a guy for a few years – I ended up dumping the guy. While we were a couple, I could sit in the same room as him and yet still feel all alone.

The guy I was engaged to was terribly self-absorbed. My ex-fiance never took an interest in me, my opinions, my job, my life. He never paid me compliments, never gave me encouragement. I felt single and alone, even though I was in a relationship with him.

I so often see this assumption by Christians, in Hollywood movies, TV shows, and relationship advice books and articles, that you’ll never, ever be lonely if only you could just find a romantic partner. This notion is a bunch of nonsense. The truth is you can be in a relationship with someone and still feel lonely and unfulfilled.

Your partner might be a self-absorbed twit like my ex was, or your partner may be so emotionally troubled (or have an alcohol or drug addiction problem), which will leave you so busy catering to your partner’s needs, that he or she will be unable to meet yours (because your partner is too drunk, high on drugs, or psychologically damaged to be able to do so).

Continue reading “Married Couple is Drifting Apart (Ask Amy Letter)”

Woman Says Her Formerly (Supposed) Womanizing Husband Claims He’s Not Interested in Having Sex With Her (Ask Amy)

Woman Says Her Formerly (Supposed) Womanizing Husband Claims He’s Not Interested in Having Sex  With Her (Ask Amy)

This is a Nov. 2016 letter from a married woman to advice columnist “Ask Amy.”

The woman’s husband was quite the horn dog prior to meeting her, or so he says. The husband claims he slept around a lot, prior to them marrying.

I would avoid a guy like this like the plague, but this woman actually found it “touching” or sweet when the guy told her out of the bazillions of women he’s slept with before, she seems special to him – so she married him (sounds like a cheap line a player would use to me, but I digress).

Anyway. The woman is now writing Amy to say their marriage has turned sexless.

I suspect that the guy is probably having affairs with other women, which is one possibility Amy tosses out.

Regardless of his motivations, it remains that this woman is in a sexless marriage.

I never heard things like this from Christians when I was a kid, teen, or older.

All I ever heard growing up was the propaganda that if a woman remains a virgin until marriage, that the married sex will be Fantastic! Roof shattering! Frequent! Always satisfying! Great!

Well apparently, married sex is not what it’s cracked up to be. If you marry, your husband may have so much extra-marital sex with other women, he won’t be interested in having sex with you any longer. Or, the husband may be under so much job stress he won’t want to have sex. Or, he might have depression, which can sap a person’s libido.

There could be any number of reasons why a spouse won’t “put out” in a marriage any more, which will leave you, the other half, sex-less. I seldom see Christians admit that this is a thing, that it happens to couples, which I feel is dishonest of them.

Being married is not – contrary to a lot of conservative Christian propaganda – a guarantee of receiving hot, regular, great sex.

You can read the woman’s letter here:

(Link):  Ask Amy: Wife ponders mystery of husband’s behavior

Dear Amy: I fell madly in love with a wonderful, kind man. He told me that he had been with 30-plus women in his 55-plus years, primarily for sex.

When he told me he really loved me and had never truly felt this way before about any other woman, it won me over, and now we are married.

I am seven years younger than he is and had been divorced for about 15 years. My issue is that now my husband is not interested in having sex with me at all.

He states that he has already had that and now he just wants love.

I have cried, talked and asked for counseling, to no avail. I am ready to walk away. I feel ugly and undesirable.

He has promised to make changes, but in 10 months nothing has changed.

I love him deeply, but my heart is telling me that this is now becoming toxic.

I don’t understand how he can have sex with so many women he didn’t love, but not with the woman he loves.

Do you have any guidance?

Feeling Abandoned

Your husband is not a “wonderful, kind” man. He’s a user and a sexist pig, lady. A wonderful, kind man does not sexually use woman or sleep around to the point he’s bagged 30 plus women over his life. You married a dud.

And by the way, if the guy is saying he will make changes, but ten months later, none have been made, that is your two by four over the head: the man has NO INTENTION of changing. Leave now. Stop wasting your time on this guy. Divorce. Learn to be happy being single.

The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile by S. Farris

The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile by S. Farris

I would also add to the list on the page I am linking to:

Hetero Men who are seeking women on dating sites and apps: do not send women unsolicited penis photos; do not have anything mentioning sex on your profile, and do not mention (or joke about) sex in any of your “must have” lists on dating sites or any part of your profile.

I don’t care if you are totally into sex and think sex is mucho importante in a relationship, any mention of sex (even if you think it’s funny to put vulgar jokes on your profile) is a turn-off (and / or creepy) to most women.

You wait until you have been dating a person for awhile to bring sex up, and even then, you should be TASTEFUL about it, not crass or perverted or weird.

(Link): The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile

Excerpts:

  • They show up for dates looking nothing like their pictures. They tell long, rambling stories about their “psycho exes” or spend the entirety of the evening talking about their material possessions.
  • Men who date online never fail to surprise the women they meet, but they seem to be blissfully ignorant of the fact that they’re scaring people off.
  • With men now (Link): drastically outnumbering women on many dating apps, can guys afford to offend the few female users they might attract?
  •  

    Working with April Masini, a New York City-based relationship expert and psychotherapist, we analyzed responses from women who are currently active on the online dating scene.

  • Masini regularly offers dating advice to people of both genders through her website (Link): AskApril.com. She reviewed the lines women hate to see most on online dating profiles and gave her advice on how men can better phrase them.
  • 1. “No drama.”
  • By the time people join online dating sites, they’ve often had a wealth of experiences that include breakups, job transitions, and possibly even parenthood.

Continue reading “The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile by S. Farris”

Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)

Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)

Letter to advice columnist Hax from some woman, April 2016.

This letter made me cringe for the singles-shaming attitudes in it.

Hi, Carolyn:

I feel sad and worry about my sons, who are around 30. Both have college degrees, promising careers and a decent network of friends, and both have had past relationships.

But each lives alone and neither is in a committed relationship.

Continue reading “Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)”

Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros – Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book

Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros –  Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book

(This post has been edited to add several new comments and a link or two)

Aug 2017 – (Link): Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man


If you are new to my blog: I am right wing, I don’t agree with most secular feminism, but I do think secular feminism is correct on a point here or there.

This article I link you to farther below is about a book a woman wrote (I believe she is right wing), and it reads like one of those “blame feminism” type works. The book is by Andrea Tantaros, and its title is “Tied Up in Knots: How Getting What We Wanted Made Women Miserable.”

I have not read the book; I have only read the author’s article about the book, which you see linked to farther down the page. I take it that her article is a sort of preview about what one can expect to see in the book.

This article argues that most women got what they wanted (via feminism), and they are miserable as a result: they are not getting men. Women want marriage and are not getting married. The women want to have great careers, but they also want a manly- man who will marry them and sometimes take care of them; they want a partner to share life with.

Continue reading “Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros – Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book”

Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

It sure does seem that a lot of guys think they are owed sex.

A lot of Christian men not only feel that they are entitled sex (once married), but both before and after marriage, they feel entitled to everything from women: they expect to have their egos stroked all the time, for instance.

Do you Christian men who arrogantly expect women to uplift you and tell you how great you are, ever consider encouraging women in your lives, whether they are single or married?

Women sometimes need or want some external validation, yet whiny men (including Christian ones) seldom consider giving any to women. They rudely assume God put women here only to meet men’s needs. Nope: it goes both ways.

Women have needs too. Women have days or phases in their lives when they get tired, discouraged, worn down and could use a kind word or a helping hand.

(Link):  Men Aren’t Etitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist fit at woman who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

Excerpts:

  • Even if he buys her dinner, even if she asks him out, even if she flirts—there’s no excuse for this behavior
  • …That he turned on a dime to insult her should tell us that he only saw her as an object he wanted available for his pleasure, whether to stroke his ego or stroke other body parts. The moment she rejects him, even though she doesn’t say a single negative thing toward him, he interprets that as pretty much the worst thing a woman could do to him. Her not wanting sex automatically means, in his mind, she’s basically an evil bitch who’s wasted his time.
  • Another obvious statement: her not wanting to have sex with him doesn’t automatically mean she didn’t like him, or didn’t have a good date. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t, but by treating sex as the one and only arbiter of success, he turned what could have been a fun night into a nightmare.

Continue reading “Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel”

Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage

Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage

Holy guacamole did I ever find a post by a Christian guy who really knows how to slam never-married or “single again” adults.

I was astounded by parts of this guy’s post.

I almost re-tweeted a link to his blog post about divorce from my Twitter page (I saw someone else share it on Twitter), thinking someone may find it helpful (judging from the title alone, it sounded like it might be a good page) but thankfully, I skimmed it first.

I left a reply under the guy’s post, and his blog says my post is awaiting moderation. Who knows if he will approve it to appear or not.

(August 2016 update: my comment on his blog, that I made in April 2016, is STILL tagged with the “awaiting moderation” comment on his blog. Unreal.)

I have copied in my reply farther below. I tried to be civil in my reply.

I’m going to try to be charitable here on my own blog: maybe this guy does not realize how deeply insulting his blog post is – the parts where he talks about divorced people or the never-married.

This guy should realize that upholding marriage or discouraging divorce does not necessitate INSULTING SINGLE PEOPLE.

You do not have to scare married people out of divorce by suggesting that all “single again” or never-married adults out there are great big, scary losers who have a lot of baggage, so if married people divorce, they won’t be able to find a great partner.

Continue reading “Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage”