Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – on Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – On Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

This following letter to an advice columnist (which is linked to and excerpted much farther down this blog post) is interesting, because I guarantee you had the guy written to “Ask Amy” of the “Ask Amy” column with the same concern, Amy would  not have been sympathetic to the guy.

Amy would’ve raked him over the coals for not oozing with love and compassion for the misbehaving stepchild.

Amy, as I’ve seen, always sides with the kids or the biological parent.

If you are a person married to someone who has a bratty kid who is driving you crazy (and even to the point of wanting to divorce!), Amy will shame you terribly over it.

Amy will scream and yell about you being selfish, and she will ask you to empathize with the misbehaving, rotten kid.

(That I can recall in all my years of reading her advice column, Amy has never shown empathy to the adult who is stressed and whose marriage is strained over a hard- to- handle step-child.)

This advice columnist,  though, takes the opposite approach and blames the biological mother; he holds her accountable for the poor marital dynamics.

Ask Amy: These Sex-Crazed Weirdos Turned Me Off Internet Dating

Ask Amy: These Sex-Crazed Weirdos Turned Me Off Internet Dating

Hey, me too! I was also turned off of internet dating because of all the sex-crazed and vulgar weirdos who were on the dating sites.

Self-professing Christian men I came across on dating sites were so disgusting. They had crass, sexually charged jokes in their profiles, some of them stated sexual preferences right up front in the early stages of online dating or had such things listed on their profiles, so I gave up on dating sites.

I had a few other reasons why I gave up on online dating, but that was one of them.

(Link):  Ask Amy: These Sex-Crazed Weirdos Turned Me Off Internet Dating

(alt link)

DEAR AMY:

I am just coming out of an eight-year relationship with a man I met through an internet dating site.

Back then, all of my friends (and therapist) were aggressively urging me toward internet dating. I said I would try it for a month.

Before the month was up, I met “Don.”

Although the “plus” of this experience was meeting Don, I felt the rest of it was awful. I met a number of “single” men who were married.

I met a number of “50- and 60-” year-olds who were actually in their 70s or 80s.

Needy Single Mom Feels Abandoned By Church Family (Ask Amy)

Needy Single Mom Feels Abandoned By Church Family (Ask Amy)

In an older post, I mentioned how it is that some older adults do not recognize just how poorly churches and Christian culture treats single adults until those older adults become single again via divorce or widowhood:
Then they notice how absolutely marriage-centric churches are, and how utterly horrid Christians are about meeting the needs of single adults.

Then you have your married parents who don’t realize how Obsessed With the Nuclear Family most churches are until their (Link): own kids grow up and move out and stop attending church with them.

Then and only then do some Christian married couples wake up to see how absolutely terrible churches are about neglecting single adults or the childless.

The woman who wrote this letter to “Ask Amy” had to go through a divorce before she noticed how anti-singles friendly her church was. Amazing.

Also, I could’ve told this woman that Christians in general are awful at showing concern, care, and empathy for people who are in pain or under-going some stress in life.

Lonely Woman Wonders How to Make Friends (letter to Ask Amy)

Lonely Woman Wonders How to Make Friends (letter to Ask Amy)

(Link):  Lonely Woman Wonders How to Make Friends (letter to Ask Amy)

Dear Amy:

I am a 61-year-old woman, divorced for years. I have an adult daughter, and a small immediate family.

Years ago, I had lots of friends. Some moved, some got married, a lot of them are very involved with their large families, etc.

Here I am — alone. I am a very active, friendly and interesting person. I have volunteered, gone to church, participated in meet-ups, taken classes, etc.

Single Mom Writes to Ask Amy: She’s Into Her Best Friend, But He’s Using Her

It sounds to me as though this guy is stringing her along, and she’d be better off without him.

It’s the second letter on this page:

DEAR AMY: I am a single mom. I’m in love with my best friend. He means more to me than anything, but the one thing he can’t give up is his freedom of being single. He loves me, but wants his cake and to eat it, too.

When I try to move on and date other people, he pulls me back into thinking that he wants to be with me.

I love him so much that I keep letting him play with my heart.

My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

(Link): My parents excluded me when I was single — now they’re doing it to my sister (Ask Amy column)

DEAR AMY: I am a 35-year-old woman. I live in the same town as my parents.

My sister lives nearby. She married young, while I traveled and enjoyed the single life.

My parents spent a lot of time with my sister and her husband. They shared dinners, vacations and holidays. I have generally not been invited or included, as these were “couple things,” though I fail to see how Christmas is a “couples-only” event.

Clueless, Naive, 52 Year Old Idiot Cheats on “Woman Of His Dreams”

Clueless, Naive, 52 Year Old Idiot Cheats on “Woman Of His Dreams”

If you felt like this woman was the “girl of your dreams,” there was no reason to cheat on her – well, not that cheating in other contexts is okay. I am baffled. He says this new girlfriend was the “girl of his dreams,” but he still cheated on her? Idiot.

He feels that getting re-baptized at a church would some how convince her to stay with him and not break up. Clueless.

He complains in this letter about being in “two weeks of loneliness” ever since his girlfriend broke up with him.

Oh boo hoo and SHUT UP. I’ve spent much, much longer (over a decade) single and alone, so don’t come crying to me or someone else about being single for TWO WEEKS, you dolt.

(Link): Source for the following letter.

DEAR AMY: I am a 52-year-old divorced man.

A year ago I met “Carla,” the woman of my dreams. Then last summer, I lost my job. I was under a lot of stress.

I started texting with an old girlfriend. Some conversations became sexual. I consider myself a good guy with strong morals, but I failed. The woman forwarded the texts to Carla. She was devastated and ended our relationship.

I have sent cards, flowers and many texts. Carla said she’s moving on and that I should, too. But what I did affected me so much that I was baptized at my church because I needed a fresh start.

I need to show the love of my life that I’m not playing around anymore.

I will do anything to get my girl back. It has been two weeks of loneliness, but it feels like a lifetime.

I know I shouldn’t push too hard. But I don’t want to be forgotten.

Signed,

Devastated

What an idiot.

Jaded, Bitter, Entitled Sam The Single Man Claims that All Women Who Say “They Aren’t That Kind of Girl” Are Liars

Jaded, Bitter, Entitled Sam The Single Man Claims that All Women Who Say “They Aren’t That Kind of Girl” Are Liars

The guy who wrote this letter to ‘Ask Amy’ sounds like a bitter, cynical, entitled sexist ass-hat.

I for one “am not that kind of girl.” Women such as me do in fact exist. If you date me, and I turn down sex on the basis of, “I’m not that kind of girl,” I am speaking the truth.

I am over the age of 40 and still a virgin. Even though now my views on sex have relaxed, and I’d be willing to have sex prior to marriage, but not on a first date, or even a second date, but only within the context of a steady, committed relationship.

So yes, to you assh*le who wrote this letter to Ask Amy, “Sam,” some women are in fact “not that kind of girl” and do not have sex with a man they’ve just met.

I think you don’t want a steady relationship but a one-night stand, in which case, stop using dating sites like eHarmony, Yahoo Personals, or Match and stick with “Booty Call .com” or “Tindr,” which are designed specifically for casual sex, you idiot.

DEAR AMY:

When two people first meet and the guy wants to have sex, why is it that many women say, “I am not that kind of girl, and I need to get to know you better“?

That is actually a big lie that women tell. After all, if the guy who wanted to have sex with them was George Clooney, it’s unthinkable that they would say, “I’m not that kind of girl.”

Every woman is “that kind of girl” with a select few men under the right circumstances.

Single, Adult Woman Lies on Church Employment Form About Pre-Marital Sex and Sexual Orientation, Says Friend – Letter to Ask Amy Advice Column

Single, Adult Woman Lies on Church Employment Form About Pre-Marital Sex and Sexual Orientation, Says Friend – Letter to Ask Amy Advice Column

I’ll paste in the letter below, and probably Amy’s response. I think Amy dropped the ball on her reply, for the most part.

I’m using this letter not so much as it pertains to homosexuality, but the phenomenon of singles (or anyone, I guess) lying about their sexual habits or pasts, especially in a church context.

When I was growing up, my parents encouraged me to seek a marital partner at church. The thought being that I could meet a decent, kind, stable man at a church and marry the guy.

The problem is (as I’ve detailed on this blog time and again) is that churches attract all sorts of weirdos, perverts, and losers (and liars).

If you are a single Christian woman who insists on meeting a single man at a church, you better be well aware that just because a guy is attending church, works at said church, or says he loves Jesus and is a Christian, does not mean he is a nice guy or is honest. He might be a child rapist, a woman abuser, or have a raging pornography addiction.

The letter below is about a lesbian woman who misrepresented herself (her sexual nature / sexual history) to a church to get hired, contra to  Ask Amy’s spin on it (you can read a copy of this letter here):

• Dear Amy:
• I have a huge dilemma. “Jane” and I have been good friends since middle school. I love her like a sister.
• Recently, Jane accepted a job at a church as the youth director in the town where we attend college. She is good with youth and is very outgoing.
• However, Jane was not fully truthful when applying for this job.
• The church asked all applicants to affirm its faith statement and a code of behavior that prohibits premarital sex. Jane signed the code of behavior, indicating that she would not have premarital sex.
• To further confuse the issue, she told them that she did not have a boyfriend. In truth, Jane does have sex. However, she is a (quiet) lesbian.

60 Year Old Lady Contracted Herpes from Cheating Husband

60 Year Old Lady Contracted Herpes from Cheating Husband

Another example of how it can pay off to be single and celibate. Letter to advice columnist Ask Amy.

Jan 2016:

• Dear Amy:
• I am a 60-year-old divorced woman. My cheating ex-husband gave me herpes. Because of this I have been reluctant to date.
• I have visited a website for people with similar conditions but didn’t find it acceptable. My question is, at what point in a relationship do you tell a potential partner that you have a sexually transmitted disease?
• Signed,
• Full of Fear and Loathing
• Dear Full of Fear and Loathing:
• I hope you will find a way to shed the stigma of having this STD, which is quite common (estimates are that 1 in 6 adults have genital herpes, though many don’t know it). You have done nothing wrong.

Boyfriend is Insecure About Girlfriend’s [Sexual] Past (Ask Amy Letter)

Boyfriend is insecure about girlfriend’s past (Ask Amy Letter)

Yes, sex sometimes means something to some people. Some people don’t believe in having numerous sexual partners, having casual sex, or what have you.

Some people can be troubled to know that their partner has a sexual history – or maybe can sort of compartmentalize it and suppress it, if they don’t get subjected to details about it.

Here we have a letter from a woman who says her current boyfriend is troubled by her sexual past.

Not everyone holds casual attitudes about sex.

Boyfriend is insecure about girlfriend’s past

Dear Amy:

I am seeking advice on a very touchy subject between me and my boyfriend of two years.

I am 24 years old. When I was 21, I was living in a different town and had a sexual relationship with another female.

This relationship did not last long, because I became conflicted and eventually determined I was just not interested in that lifestyle.

My boyfriend is everything to me! From our values to spirituality, he is my perfect match.

We have always been open and honest with each other. He has a daughter from a previous relationship, so he likes to make the point that he can’t hide his past.

I opened up about my past sexual history with the female. Now he seems to be struggling with a lot of insecurity.

I’m not sure what else I can do to comfort him, in that I am not gay. I was a young lady in a weird spot in life and experimented (like a lot of us do at that age).

But he is taking this very hard.

Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

From a November 2015 Ask Amy column.

Dear Amy:

I have two adult daughters, ages 32 and 36. Both are cute, intelligent and kind, and yet neither one has had a boyfriend — or has even gone out on a date — for five years.

Although friends and family have frequently offered to fix them up with people, both daughters have always refused, and now people have stopped offering.

Neither daughter will use an online dating program, although they both know of friends and family who have met their spouse/significant other this way.

This is a very sensitive topic for both of my daughters. They overreact strongly when I try to bring up the subject, telling me to “mind my own business.”