Old School Cheesy ‘True Love Waits’ Video and Non-Christian Reaction (Christian video about Virginity and Sex)

Old School Cheesy ‘True Love Waits’ Video and Non-Christian Reaction

The reason I have stayed a virgin, and I’m past 40, is due to several reasons, but one of them is not due to cheesy videos such as the one below, which appears to have been filmed in the 1990s, or possibly the 1980s, judging upon the appearance of the clothing, music, and bands interviewed.

TLW (“True Love Waits”) is a little after my time. I was in my twenties when TLW started. I found it a little odd at the time and still do.

Support for celibacy/virginity comes by treating singles (celibates) as equals, and doing things such as inviting lonely, adult singles over for holiday dinners, permitting them equal leadership positions in churches, and not by gimmicky, schlocky TLW videos.

If you look at the comments left by visitors below the video on the You Tube page, most people are scoffing at the video for one reason or another.

I first became aware of this video on a page that found it via the CN -“Christian Nightmares” – blog.

It’s been a while since I’ve read about the CN blog, but if memory serves, the person behind it is either an atheist who never was a believer, or is an ex Christian (I don’t remember which).

But the point is that this video below is on a blog conducted and usually visited by people who are hostile towards Christianity or towards Christians, who feel that most Christians are unloving, hypocritical, or judgmental.

Sometimes I do think that critics of Christianity have valid complaints about the faith or how Christians in general behave, and at other times, I find their complaints unfair or exaggerated.

Most people leaving comments under the video on the video’s You Tube page make fun of the clothing of the people in the video or what have you, but there are attitudes such as this:

    MisterInfide
    l8 months ago

    Brilliant scam for controlling people. First, go after teenagers because their mental faculties aren’t fully formed yet and they long for acceptance and approval. Then take one of their natural impulses and build all kinds of taboos around it. Then force it into a tiny, restrictive box and heap guilt and shame upon any expression that falls outside the box. Then use that guilt and shame to coerce them into a lifetime of unthinking conformity and, incidentally, ten percent of their income.

Granted, having a cheese-ball video like this TLW video may not do much to foster positive attitudes towards virginity and celibacy, but I feel “MisterIndidel8” and those like him toss the baby out with the bathwater.

I am so tired of living in a culture that holds certain attitudes, such as, all Christian kids (or adults) who abstain from sex are only doing so because they were brainwashed or are too ignorant to know better.

I made a decision for me when I was a kid to wait until marriage, largely based upon reading what the Bible had to say about sexual morality, so it’s not entirely true that I was “brainwashed.”

I do think Christian culture left me with some warped ideas and broken promises, though, which I’ve mentioned in previous posts.

Those warped ideas (about sex, marriage, dating) I was presented with as a teen and early 20 something have played a partial role in why I have now reconsidered some of my views pertaining to Christianity in general and sexuality in particular, now that I am over age 40.

The fact that this TLW video was even on a site such as “Christian Nightmares” tells me that more than likely, some ex- Christians (or atheists) think the concepts of virginity and celibacy are naive, stupid, and idiotic.

It also teels me that there is possibly a lack of respect for an individual having strong sexual boundaries and choosing to abstain, which I find hypocritical, since often times, Non Christian society expects every one not only to tolerate the sexual choices and behaviors of Non Christians, but to CELEBRATE those choices and behaviors, or risk being thought a homophobe, repressed, or a prude.

While I am not necessarily a supporter of phenomenons such as “True Love Waits,” or gimmicks shown in the video, such as having teenagers drive pegs into the lawn as a gesture representing their commitment to hold on to their virginity, I also can’t get on board with people who would ridicule or joke about those people’s decisions to abstain.

Non-Christians, and some Christians (such as liberals, anti virginity conservatives, feminist Christians, and emergents), do not want to be judged for their sexual actions and sexual choices, or those of their friends, but they sure as hell have no qualms about mocking or judging the sexual choices of virgins or celibates. This is a double standard I see time and again.

My one other criticism of the video or entire TLW movement is that you’ll notice that it is youth-focused. Not that I’m saying I’m in agreement with the TLW approach (eg, making videos), but it’s another bit of evidence of ageism in the church that there are no similar programs or videos giving encouragement for adults past 30 who are holding on to their virginity.

It is always assumed by the majority of Christians that everyone will marry by the age of 25 or 30 and start having sex, when some adults find ourselves unwillingly still single past our mid 30s, and yes, some of us are still virgins.

In the video, I heard several comments by various adults that sounded suspiciously close to the usual propaganda and platitudes Christians give teens about sex (ones which I’ve blogged about before), such as one adult in the video who says something such as, “waiting for marriage is worth it!,” which is a variation on the Christian line, “married sex is mind blowing, so wait until you get married, kids!” As I’ve posted about several times, people who are virgins until marriage don’t always have a spectacular sex life.

(Link): True Love Waits video, Million Virgin March (on You Tube)


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Related posts this blog:

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): The Contemporary Church Undervalues Celibacy / Virginity

(Link): Discouraging the Virtuous by Julia Duin – Sex and Never Married Single Christians

(Link): Famous Historical Christian Figure Expects Everyone To Fail At Sexual Purity

(Link): Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link): The Activist Who Says Being Gay Is Not A Sin – double standards for homo singles vs hetero singles

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): Singles and the Church: Why It Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked (from The Sexy Celibate blog)

(Link): The Trivialization of Sex (a post by A. Hamilton)

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link): Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts

(Link): Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity

(Link): Being Equally Yoked: Christian Columnist Dan Delzell Striving to Keep Christian Singles Single Forever

(Link): Obnoxious and Sexist Preacher Mark Driscoll Wants Christian Singles to Stay Single Indefinitely – And Even Though Unwanted, Prolonged Singleness has Been a Huge Issue For Christian Singles for A Couple Decades Now – Driscoll: ‘Christians should not marry pro choicers’

(Link): Preachers and Christian Media Personalities: Re: Marriage – You’re missing the point stop trying to argue or shame singles into getting married

(Link): Regarding the post “Abstinence is unrealistic and old fashioned” at The Matt Walsh Blog vis a vis Stuff Christian Culture Likes group

(Link): To Get Any Attention or Support from a Church These Days you Have To Be A Stripper, Prostitute, or Orphan

(Link): Sex is Always the Solution – supposedly, according to Christian writers and preachers. (Also: Christian married men feel entitled to sex, contra 1 Corinthians 7:5.)

(Link): Her Marriage is Sexless While She Cares For Sick Elderly Father

(Link): Wife Writes to Ask Amy About Her Sexless Marriage October 2013

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

British Church for Atheists Sounds Sadly Like Most Seeker Friendly or Evangelical U.S. Churches – but they are getting one thing correct

British Church for Atheists Sounds Sadly Like Most Seeker Friendly or Evangelical U.S. Churches

This British church for atheists sounds pretty similar to many evangelical, Baptist, and seeker friendly churches in America.

The article (linked to much farther below in this post) describes a group of atheists who want weekly community (some of the atheists are former Christians), and these atheists sing rock songs during their “church” services.

If that doesn’t sound like American churches today I don’t know what does.

A lot of seeker friendly, Baptist, and evangelical American churches have turned into nothing but impersonal, social clubs with cool rock bands, with the sermon consisting of mainly pop culture references and a series of practical how-to steps (like how to get a raise at work).

Not that I am opposed to rock music in church (though I prefer traditional music in church myself), nor am I opposed to a little humor being interjected into a church service, but.

If your church service is identical to that of this atheist church in Britain, you may be doing church wrong.

I do think the “atheist church” is doing at least one thing correctly that Christian churches have failed to do: meet the emotional needs of every day people.

This article mentions how atheists want to meet with each other regularly to discuss any difficulties in life they are experiencing; they need friendship to help them through tough times.

The Bible instructs Christians to do this very thing for other Christians: to bear one another’s burdens and to weep with those who weep, to provide a community and a sense of belonging to all, regardless of age, marital status, etc. Churches have failed at this.

People are lonely, and not everyone has a flesh and blood family to turn to. A lot of adults such as myself have never married, and I’m in my 40s now, and some of my family have died off already.

Churches, however don’t give a crap about meeting my needs.

They don’t care about older, childless, never married adults, or other demographics that fall outside their nauseatingly cherished “mommy and daddy with 2.5 children at home”.

Depending on which denomination or church one belongs to, some Christian groups have a “suck it up” attitude towards the ‘average Joe’ hurting Christians: many Christians don’t care to help the average Joe, middle class, guy or gal who is having a problem.

If you’re an average Joe who just got laid off from your job, and you’re afraid and nervous and need financial help or just need to vent about this situation to someone, Christians doesn’t want to hear it.

Most Christians won’t even offer to help you through your tough financial time, either, such as, by giving you free groceries from the church pantry for a couple months. (I have not been in this situation myself but have seen it played out by others.)

If you are an average Jane Christian who has been hurt because a loved one just died, your spouse divorced you, or whatever issue you are having, and you are needing emotional support (or even would appreciate concrete help, such as your rent paid a month, someone from the church mowing your lawn for you while you recover from surgery in bed), you can forget about it.

Most Christians do not give a rat’s ass about an average Joe or average Jane Christian who is going through a trial in life.

Most Christians only show and demonstrate compassion to a very narrow set of groups:
domestic abuse victims; child abuse victims; homeless drug addicts and alcoholics; sex workers (adult and child); starving and homeless orphans in Africa and third world nations.

For example: (Link): Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church Is on Mission to Fulfill Isaiah 58 – this story says Osteen’s church is giving free toiletries to homeless people in his city. That is great, but how do his church members help other church members? Do they do anything to help the never married, childess adults among them? Here’s a quote from the page about Osteen’s church:

    Members of Pastor Joel and Victoria Osteen’s Lakewood Church who have a calling for missions take part in a variety of local opportunities to serve their community, and many were volunteering their time and spiritual gifts on Saturday, wearing T-shirts that read “Serve God, help people, Isaiah 58” at Feed the Children food pantry, the Beacon, a support center for the homeless, and ministering through street evangelism outside a Harris County jail.

Again, that is all great, but what is that church doing to help the Christians among them, and Christians from other churches or other non-church-attending Christians in their area?

Is Osteen’s Lakewood church offering to pay the rent for an elderly church member who is on a fixed income and so on? If all they are doing is running around helping Non Christians in their city, they are failing.

One reason Christianity is supposed to look appealing to Non Christians is that they should see Christians loving and helping each other. If I were a homeless person, I don’t think I’d see the benefit in joining a church or believing in Christ, if His own followers are not even helping one another.

If you’re a Christian already, and do not belong to any one of those groups I mentioned above (such as homeless person, starving African orphan, stripper at a sex club, etc.), most Christians will not help you, even if you go to them and ask.

Rather, most American Christians will chide you, accuse you of having a “pity party” (one wonders if they would ever consider telling one of their precious orphan Africans, homeless crack addicts, or stripper women they minister to: “stop having a pity party!”); or, they will feed you religious cliches (Romans 8.28 is always a favorite); they will give unsolicited, heartless advice, and all in all, refuse to sit with you as you weep, which is what you really need (and maybe practical assistance, like money or free food). You know, like the Lord commands them in the Bible to do.

No, no, American Christians don’t actually want to love their Christian neighbor as themselves.

The vast majority of American Christians only want to love on African orphans as themselves, but see, that’s easier, because it only involves sending a check or a bucket of rice over the mail.

Mailing off a check to some charity, or visiting a homeless shelter once a month for an hour, doesn’t take as much effort and time investment as inviting a hurting Christian to your home for a few hours a month and letting them talk to you, uninterrupted and without judgement, as they pour their heart out over whatever they’re going through.

Churches are failing to provide honest to God community and support that people are looking for and really need.

Most churches are headed by greedy preachers who only care about how much money they can make off their members and they treat church as though it’s a business.

Of course, the members are at fault here. A lot of them don’t care to create a real community. They want to zip in for their 40 minute service, not get really close to anyone, and zip out. Some of them want to be entertained with rock bands and preachers wearing Hawaiian print shirts. The preachers are happy to oblige.

I do think there are a lot of Christians who want a real church, not the whiz bang entertainment spectacle, but I fear there are some Christians who do want the shallow church experience because they’re not willing to do the deeper work, which means, investing lots of time with relationship building with people they are not related to by blood.

Volunteering once a month at a domestic violence shleter where you read a Bible story for an hour to a group of the shelter residents does not make you a stellear Christian especially if you are ignoring and blowing off the everyday Christians with everyday problems who come across your path who ask you for on-going help (ie, emotional support/friendship) but you blow them off with speeches and platitudes.

Continue reading “British Church for Atheists Sounds Sadly Like Most Seeker Friendly or Evangelical U.S. Churches – but they are getting one thing correct”

Christians and Non Christians Attacking Rick Warren in His Time of Grief

Christians and Non Christians Attacking Rick Warren in His Time of Grief – along with militant Non-Christian, homosexual lunatics. (This is my second attempt at posting this. WordPress would not publish it yesterday)

(This post may contain strong language, so if you’re one of those delicate little flower Christians who doesn’t care for cuss words or crude terms, please click away now. If not, read ahead at your own risk, don’t complain to me about the language. Thanks.)

I’ve (Link): written before about Christians who vilify and attack people, including Rick Warren.

I’ve read Rick Warren’s “Purpose Driven Life” book and didn’t see anything objectionable in it, nothing unbiblical. He essentially spends the book telling people their meaning is to be found in Christ alone, not in money, career, marriage, or fame.

I have read that some Christians have been hurt by Warren’s “church driven” strategy, which is, if I understand it properly, to make drastic changes to a church and unceremoniously kick out any members, even “long timers,” who disagree with the new approach. If this is true, I’m sure this approach has created hurt Christians, and I’m sorry for that.

However, as this reporter discusses in the page I’ve linked to, after the suicide of Rick Warren’s 20-something son this past week, Warren has been getting harassed over it and receiving hateful comments on the internet not only from Non-Christians, but also from professing Christians.

Link: Christian Leaders Appalled at Hurtful Responses to Rick Warren’s Family Tragedy

Before I discuss the hate mail he’s been getting from Christians: according to a different news source I saw yesterday, most of the Non-Christians sending Warren hate mail in the aftermath of his son’s passing are perturbed because Warren does not support homosexual marriage (I think Warren supported Prop 8 in California, and that is their grudge against the man?).

Continue reading “Christians and Non Christians Attacking Rick Warren in His Time of Grief”