The Chelsea Handler Childless Woman Upset: Other Conservatives Wrongly Conflating Married Motherhood with Womanhood or Happiness, Meaning, Purpose

The Chelsea Handler Childless Woman Upset: Other Conservatives Wrongly Conflating Married Motherhood with Womanhood or with Happiness, Meaning, or Purpose

After entertainer Chelsea Handler uploaded (Link): a Tweet with a video of herself listing the numerous ways she enjoys life due to being childless – I didn’t see anything in the video mentioning abortion – a lot of other conservatives jumped to shame and scold Handler for being happy about being childless and publicly expressing that happiness.

Others have said that Handler had two or three abortions in the past. The fact that Handler previously had abortions does not change the substance of my problems with conservative reaction to Handler’s video.

I am pro-life, not pro-choice, so I don’t agree with Handler’s actions to terminate her pregnancies.

However, again, I don’t recall Handler’s “happy to be childless” video advocating abortion or mentioning anything about abortion.

I don’t think her video criticized or shamed women for being mothers or for wanting to be mothers.

The only possible, even remotely “anti motherhood” take away one can get from her video is that mothers – assuming they are good, non-abusive mothers – invest a lot of time in child-rearing, but Handler doesn’t frame it in an anti-motherhood way.

It’s Okay For Women to Be Childless at Any Age and to be Happy About Being Childless, Just Like It’s Okay For Mothers to Be Happy About Being Mothers

Handler was just showing ways she has more free time because she doesn’t have to participate in childcare – which is not the same thing as being “anti-motherhood,” or telling other women they are wrong to be mothers.

It’s perfectly fine for a woman to be single and childless and to be happy about it.

Women can and should find meaning and purpose apart from marriage and motherhood. It’s unhealthy for any person to wrap up all their happiness, meaning, or purpose into one identity, station of life, or role.

If you are a married mother, your children will grow up, move out, and seldom visit you once they’re gone. Your husband may develop dementia, abuse you, or cheat on you, so that you will be without emotional support or you will have to divorce him.
In all these situations, you will be left with yourself, by yourself, and god help you if you never forged purpose, identity, happiness, or meaning apart from a spouse and children.

There’s no reason to criticize or shame an adult, man or woman, for being single and childless and for being happy about it and posting about it.

My fellow conservatives often push motherhood (via podcasts, tweets, magazine articles, church sermons, blog posts, etc) to a loopy, creepy, fevered pitch, about how super awesome, fulfilling, and wonderful motherhood supposedly is – but goodness forbid a childless woman lists or publicizes the ways she’s happy with being childless – and do so without criticizing motherhood or mothers. That’s a huge double standard.

I also didn’t agree with Handler’s mockery of single women who choose to remain virgins until marriage or to remain chaste (I blogged about that (Link): here a few years ago).

Unfortunately, in the midst of criticizing Handler, a lot of conservatives today were conflating “womanhood” to married motherhood. 

However, a woman remains a woman regardless if she has a child or is infertile, childless, or childfree, or whether she wants to have children or not.

The Truth About How Baby Girls Are Being Exterminated In the United States…Are We Becoming China? by P. McMurray

The Truth About How Baby Girls Are Being Exterminated In the United States…Are We Becoming China? by P. McMurray

(Link): The Truth About How Baby Girls Are Being Exterminated In the United States…Are We Becoming China? 

Excerpts:

By Patty McMurray
Jan. 30, 2023

100 Percent Fed Up reports – Did you know that between 1970 and 2017, there were 45 million “missing” female births due to prenatal sex selection? This information came from a British Medical Journal Global Health in-depth study in 2021. It was based on examining 3.26 billion birth records.

Over 95% of these missing births were in China or India.

What about the United States?

Sex-selective abortions are abortions performed for the purpose of eliminating an unborn child of an undesired sex. Usually, females are the “undesired” sex. Only seven states in the U.S. ban sex-selective abortions.

Those who advocate the bill say that the U.S. already bans sex discrimination, and PRENDA would simply extend this protection to females in the womb.

Opponents say it is unnecessary because abortions based on sex- selection are rare. So, not worth passing a law to ban it.

But they don’t tell you the whole story.

A pro-life organization, Live Action, went undercover to various Planned Parenthood clinics in 2012 to determine if sex-selective abortions were being performed. They indeed were with the only reason for them was the “sex of the baby.”

Watch: (Link  video on You Tube):  Sex-Selective Abortion: Part 2 – Undercover in NYC

(More content below this video, please keep scrolling):

Also, the way in which the ratio of male to female births is determined by looking at the sex ratios at birth or SRB. Globally, there are 103 male births per 100 female births.

But, in Asian nations, the SRB rises from 123 males to 100 females, an astounding imbalance! China and other Asian nations are now banning doctors from telling women the sex of their unborn children.

If SRB data is examined for the U.S., foreign-born populations show a similar preference for male children. Not so for U.S.-born parents.

SRBs have increased since the 1990s in the U.S.

There are other sex-selective methods to be concerned about. There is Preimplantation Genetic Diagnostics or PGD, which is also known as “sperm sorting.” PGD is when the doctor tests the sperm to see if it has an X or Y chromosome.

MIT Researchers Creating Robots that Give Birth to Other Robots

MIT Researchers Creating Robots that Give Birth to Other Robots

I guess these are sexually active robots? So, other robots are celibate? 😂

(Link): MIT researchers creating robots that give birth to other robots

by Paul Best
Nov 29, 2022

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) researchers are building swarms of tiny robots that have built-in intelligence, allowing them to build structures, vehicles, or even larger versions of themselves.

The subunit of the robot, which is being developed at MIT’s Center for Bits and Atoms, is called a voxel and is capable of carrying power and data.

Trans Australian Child Sex Abuser Had ‘Depraved’ Sex Abuse Content Involving Babies

Trans Australian Child Sex Abuser Had ‘Depraved’ Sex Abuse Content Involving Babies

(Link): Trans Australian child sex abuser had ‘depraved’ sex abuse content involving babies

An Australian trans woman has admitted to an Adelaide court to filming herself masturbating her penis next to a young child, and possessing dozens of child porn content depicting victims as young as toddlers and babies.

October 16, 2022
by Andy Ngo

An Australian trans woman has admitted to an Adelaide court to filming herself masturbating her penis next to a young child, and possessing dozens of child porn content depicting victims as young as toddlers and babies.

Josh Dean French, who uses the name “Jayda Dean,” pleaded guilty in the Adelaide District Court to one count of aggravated producing child exploitation material and two counts of possessing child exploitation material.

Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job

Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job

Being a parent does not make a person more loving, ethical, responsible, or godly.

I say this because too often other conservatives and hyper-pro-nuclear family advocates, such as Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox (of “National Marriage Project” and “Institute for Family Studies”) keep pumping out propaganda that society could only be vastly improved if everyone would marry and have children – because they believe marriage and parenthood automatically confer good character into a person – which is not true.

If you’re willing to sell a baby for cash to get a nose job, quite obviously, being a parent didn’t make you less selfish, more loving, etc.

(Link): Mom busted for selling newborn baby to pay for $3,600 nose job

by Andrew Court
July 11, 2022

Big nose, small heart.

A ruthless Russian woman has reportedly been arrested for selling her newborn baby to pay for a $3,600 rhinoplasty.

The 33-year-old woman — whose name has not been disclosed by Russian media — was taken into custody in late May on suspicion of human trafficking, the Daily Star reports.

The mom is said to have given birth to a baby boy on April 25 at a hospital in the southern city of Kaspiysk, before selling him off just five days later to a local couple looking to become parents.

Grandma, 61, and Younger Husband, 24, are Ready to Have a Baby

Grandma, 61, and Younger Husband, 24, are Ready to Have a Baby

This news story seems very familiar. I could’ve sworn I blogged about this couple a few months ago, but I can’t locate the post at the moment (I think this was the post).

I don’t approve of “May December” relationships, in which one spouse or significant other is much older than the other, regardless if it’s an older male with a younger woman or an older female with a younger man.

It’s so gross, and I suspect the older people in such relationships have nefarious motives (ie, it’s usually easier to control a much younger partner), or they are riddled with insecurity, or, they are terribly shallow.

🤮🤮🤮

(Link): Grandma, 61, and younger husband, 24, are ready to have a baby

June 15, 2022

A granny has revealed she is married to a 24-year-old bloke and they are ready to have a baby.

Cheryl, 61, and Quran McCain from Georgia have hit headlines thanks to their 37-year age gap.

The couple have racked up over 2.2million followers on their @kingqurannewpage TikTok page, but insist their love is genuine.

Last July, Quran proposed to Cheryl using a ring that was Crowdfunded by his online fans, and they tied the knot in September.

They had a riverside ceremony in Tennessee, and the event was livestreamed to over 20,000 people.

Now they say they are ready to take the next step and have a baby together – either by adoption or by using a surrogate – and have been pram shopping.

I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)

I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)

Before I get to the link and the letter, I wanted to say…

The article below – via The Guardian – doesn’t make it clear, but the following appears to be an e-mail or a letter from a married mother who has low self esteem, and she’s writing to this paper for advice, guidance, and help.

I’m sorry this lady is not doing well, but I want you to take away from this that being married and being a mother (having children) will not necessarily make you happy, or bring you joy, inner peace, or a healthy sense of identity.

I’m afraid that a lot of conservatives – especially Christians – keep promoting these false notions to women, from the time we are girls, that if we just marry (and/or have children), that being married and a parent will bring us permanent happiness and purpose in life, but clearly, that is not the case.

I am not “anti family” nor “anti motherhood,” but I figured out a long time ago that being a parent or married may not bring you fulfillment in life, and it is that expectation that a lot of “pro family,” “pro motherhood” type of conservatives continue to hold up – it is misleading, false hope and propaganda.

I’ve got other examples on my blog of women who married (or who are mothers), and yet, being married (or being a mother) didn’t bring them happiness, but they were still left feeling overlooked, depressed, or lonely – in some cases, because the man they married doesn’t meet their emotional needs regularly, but spends all his day wrapped up in his hobbies or watching television.

I have blog posts of women who admit that they regret motherhood!

I think if you’re someone who had hoped or expected to marry (or have children) it can be painful  or very disappointing if that did not happen for you, but if you can accept it,
and permit yourself to go through a grieving process and determine to move on in life and determine to enjoy life anyway (in spite of life not turning out how you had hoped), that you can ultimately find joy, happiness, fun, and peace without a spouse and without children.

You can find other avenues of joy, meaning, and happiness in life that don’t involve being married or having children. I made that transition myself years ago, though it took me several years of grappling with unhappiness to get there, but it can be done.

But again, notice, that although the woman letter writer here married and had children, that she is STILL depressed, feels like a failure, feels like a “loser,” and thinks she is not enough.

Being a wife and a mother – contrary to what a lot of excessively pro-family, pro-natalism Christian conservatives bang on about – did not fill that empty void she has, nor increase her self image to a healthy level.

(Link): I appear successful, but since having kids I feel I’ve lost myself

Excerpts:

Squashing your anger down is exhausting. Try using your free time to do what makes you feel good, and see what shifts

May 20, 2022
by Annalisa Barbieri

[This appears to be a question from a writer to an advice columnist named Annalisa Barbieri? – the article doesn’t make it clear]:

[Dear Advice Columnist,]

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens and have had therapy and medication on and off since I was 17 (I am now 37). I’m aware of deep-rooted low self-esteem and shame.

I feel worthless. I never want to draw attention to myself and have a paralysing fear of confrontation.

I have managed to maintain a few close friendships, have worked in the past, and am married with two kids. So I appear “successful” on the surface.

America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

(Link): America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

Excerpts:

Research suggests that falling fertility in the U.S. is not tied to demographics, economics or policy. But the impact could hit all three

 April 29, 2022

The U.S. birthrate keeps hitting new lows. While an average of 2.1 births per women of childbearing age is considered the replacement rate that would keep the population stable, America is now well below that, at an average of 1.6 children each.

And the desire to have children has also fallen, according to a new research brief for the Institute for Family Studies. Today, nearly 1 in 4 childless adults says “No thanks.”

In  (Link, off site, PDF): “No Honey, No Baby: The Relational and Economic Factors Associated With Having Children in America,” Wendy Wang, the institute’s director of research, looks for an explanation of a trend that now seems to buck some of the usual suspects: demographics, economics and family-friendly policy. Her research suggests a lot of separate factors are mingling to lead many young American adults to say “I don’t” to marriage and raising families.

“The decline of marriage goes hand in hand with falling fertility rates, simply because married women have a much higher fertility rate than unmarried women,” Wang writes, noting research by demographer Lyman Stone that shows about half the decline in fertility since 2008 tracks with a much lower marriage rate.

It’s Okay If You Don’t Have Baby Fever! by Olga Khazan

It’s Okay If You Don’t Have Baby Fever! By Olga Khazan

The Atlantic is one of those sites that periodically publishes some material I agree with and enjoy, but ever since Trump was in (and now out of) office, they seem to go the other route and publish some bat sh*t insane leftist material.

The following article seems okay to me, though. But please don’t assume that if or when I share an article or editorial at The Atlantic that I always agree with all of their content.

(Link): It’s Okay If You Don’t Have Baby Fever – via The Atlantic

Excerpts:

A deep, sudden longing for babies is certainly real, but it’s not a prerequisite for having kids.
By Olga Khazan

Dec 22, 2021

….But some people—research and, frankly, real life shows—will get pregnant this winter without getting baby fever, without even thinking about babies, and indeed without really meaning to at all.

And I’m here to tell you that’s also totally normal and fine.

Being a woman of what obstetricians charmingly call “advanced maternal age,” I have tried to detect the mysterious force that is baby fever, so far to no avail.

At first, I thought I’d get baby fever when I woke up on the first day of my 35th year, my body suddenly deciding that I would enjoy changing diapers more than watching TV. That didn’t occur…

50-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth to First Child: ‘We Wouldn’t Give Up’

50-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth to First Child: ‘We Wouldn’t Give Up’

(Link): 50-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth to First Child: ‘We Wouldn’t Give Up’

Nov 24, 2021
By Ann W. Schmidt

Susie Troxler always wanted to be a mother. Now, at the age of 50, she is.

Troxler gave birth to her first child, Lily, on Sept. 29 at Cone Memorial Hospital in Greensboro, North Carolina.

“It was so surreal,” Troxler said in a press release from the hospital. “Everything had come together for that moment to happen. It’s hard to wrap our heads around. We’re no longer just husband and wife, we’re ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’”

Troxler and her husband Tony, 61, were married in 2008 and tried multiple times to have children at first, naturally. Then, about two years ago, she started in-vitro fertilization treatment and later, egg donation, FOX Television Stations reported.

US Birth Rate Hits All-Time Low: What’s Behind the Decline?

I thought I just posted an article to the blog a few months ago saying that number of babies being born in the USA is on the increase?

Anyway, cue the conservative and Christian whining about how culture is not worshipping babies and marriage enough.

Christian TV host Pat Robertson will exploit this news story to shame singles into marrying and have ten children.

(Link): US Birth Rate Hits All-Time Low: What’s Behind the Decline?

The number of babies being born in the United States continues to fall, with the birth rate reaching a new record low in 2017, according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Last year, about 3.8 million babies were born in the U.S., which is 2 percent lower than the number born in 2016, and the lowest recorded number of births in 30 years, according to the report.

Why More Women Are Having Babies at 50 and Beyond

Why More Women Are Having Babies at 50 and Beyond

(Link):  Why More Women Are Having Babies at 50 and Beyond

Excerpts:

….Duckworth [Sen. Tammy Duckworth, D-Ill] is expected to deliver her second child a few weeks after she turns 50, a time when many woman expect the end of fertility and the beginning of menopause to be around the corner.

The Senator said she delayed having children to pursue her career and, by the time she was ready, she had to overcome infertility.”The early part of my career, which was also, [like] for most women, your twenties and early thirties, your prime fertility years,” she told ABC station WLS in Chicago, “were also my career-building years.”

She is not alone. Duckworth is among a growing number of women, including celebrities like Janet Jackson and Sophie B. Hawkins, tackling motherhood in their fifties.

Overall birthrates in the United States have been declining for years, reaching a record low in 2016, according to National Bureau of Health Statistics, and provisional data suggests a new low for 2017.