I’m Not Anti-Motherhood, but This is Disturbing: Putin Offers $16,000 Reward, Honorary Title to Russian Women Who Have Ten Children

I’m Not Anti-Motherhood, but This is Disturbing: Putin Offers $16,000 Reward, Honorary Title to Russian Women Who Have Ten Children 

This is so gross.

Though I’m a conservative, I can imagine a contingent of Conservatives (like Tucker Carlson and a few hyper, pro nuclear family types) extolling this and saying how the U.S. government should do the same thing. BARF.

(Link): Putin offers $16,000 reward, honorary title to Russian women who have 10 children

August 18, 2022
by Andrew Mark Miller

The Russian government announced this week it is bringing back a Soviet-era honorary title and financial reward bestowed upon Russian women who have 10 or more children.

In a decree this week that Russian President Vladimir Putin signed, it was announced that the title of “Mother Heroine” will again be awarded to Russian women who “birth and raise” 10 Russian citizens.

The title will come with a reward of 1 million Russian Rubles, equating to roughly $16,645 in U.S. dollars, once the tenth child turns one year of age. Recipients will also earn a five-pointed golden star medal, the decree states.

Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job

Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job

Being a parent does not make a person more loving, ethical, responsible, or godly.

I say this because too often other conservatives and hyper-pro-nuclear family advocates, such as Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox (of “National Marriage Project” and “Institute for Family Studies”) keep pumping out propaganda that society could only be vastly improved if everyone would marry and have children – because they believe marriage and parenthood automatically confer good character into a person – which is not true.

If you’re willing to sell a baby for cash to get a nose job, quite obviously, being a parent didn’t make you less selfish, more loving, etc.

(Link): Mom busted for selling newborn baby to pay for $3,600 nose job

by Andrew Court
July 11, 2022

Big nose, small heart.

A ruthless Russian woman has reportedly been arrested for selling her newborn baby to pay for a $3,600 rhinoplasty.

The 33-year-old woman — whose name has not been disclosed by Russian media — was taken into custody in late May on suspicion of human trafficking, the Daily Star reports.

The mom is said to have given birth to a baby boy on April 25 at a hospital in the southern city of Kaspiysk, before selling him off just five days later to a local couple looking to become parents.

Grandma, 61, and Younger Husband, 24, are Ready to Have a Baby

Grandma, 61, and Younger Husband, 24, are Ready to Have a Baby

This news story seems very familiar. I could’ve sworn I blogged about this couple a few months ago, but I can’t locate the post at the moment (I think this was the post).

I don’t approve of “May December” relationships, in which one spouse or significant other is much older than the other, regardless if it’s an older male with a younger woman or an older female with a younger man.

It’s so gross, and I suspect the older people in such relationships have nefarious motives (ie, it’s usually easier to control a much younger partner), or they are riddled with insecurity, or, they are terribly shallow.

🤮🤮🤮

(Link): Grandma, 61, and younger husband, 24, are ready to have a baby

June 15, 2022

A granny has revealed she is married to a 24-year-old bloke and they are ready to have a baby.

Cheryl, 61, and Quran McCain from Georgia have hit headlines thanks to their 37-year age gap.

The couple have racked up over 2.2million followers on their @kingqurannewpage TikTok page, but insist their love is genuine.

Last July, Quran proposed to Cheryl using a ring that was Crowdfunded by his online fans, and they tied the knot in September.

They had a riverside ceremony in Tennessee, and the event was livestreamed to over 20,000 people.

Now they say they are ready to take the next step and have a baby together – either by adoption or by using a surrogate – and have been pram shopping.

Sperm Donor With Incurable Condition Who Fathered 15 Children Unmasked by Judge to Stop More Women Responding to His Online Ads

Sperm Donor With Incurable Condition Who Fathered 15 Children Unmasked by Judge to Stop More Women Responding to His Online Ads

(Link): Sperm donor fathered 15 children despite DNA condition

Excerpts:

May 31, 2022

A man fathered 15 children after advertising his sperm on social media despite having an inheritable condition, a court has heard.

James MacDougall has a genetic condition which means his children could have learning difficulties.

At the court hearing last week, he was told he would not be able to contact three of his children.

(Link): Sperm donor fathered 15 kids without telling moms he has genetic IQ disease

May 31, 2022
By Brooke Steinberg

A Facebook sperm donor fathered 15 children but never told the mothers he has an inheritable condition that causes learning disabilities.

James MacDougall, 37, fathered children with lesbian women through private donations advertised on social media despite knowing he had incurable Fragile X syndrome, a genetic disorder that leads to low IQ and developmental delay.

MacDougall’s identity came out in a family court battle in Derby, United Kingdom, after he applied for parental responsibility and child arrangement orders for four of his children — even though he originally signed an agreement saying he didn’t want contact with some of his children.

I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)

I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)

Before I get to the link and the letter, I wanted to say…

The article below – via The Guardian – doesn’t make it clear, but the following appears to be an e-mail or a letter from a married mother who has low self esteem, and she’s writing to this paper for advice, guidance, and help.

I’m sorry this lady is not doing well, but I want you to take away from this that being married and being a mother (having children) will not necessarily make you happy, or bring you joy, inner peace, or a healthy sense of identity.

I’m afraid that a lot of conservatives – especially Christians – keep promoting these false notions to women, from the time we are girls, that if we just marry (and/or have children), that being married and a parent will bring us permanent happiness and purpose in life, but clearly, that is not the case.

I am not “anti family” nor “anti motherhood,” but I figured out a long time ago that being a parent or married may not bring you fulfillment in life, and it is that expectation that a lot of “pro family,” “pro motherhood” type of conservatives continue to hold up – it is misleading, false hope and propaganda.

I’ve got other examples on my blog of women who married (or who are mothers), and yet, being married (or being a mother) didn’t bring them happiness, but they were still left feeling overlooked, depressed, or lonely – in some cases, because the man they married doesn’t meet their emotional needs regularly, but spends all his day wrapped up in his hobbies or watching television.

I have blog posts of women who admit that they regret motherhood!

I think if you’re someone who had hoped or expected to marry (or have children) it can be painful  or very disappointing if that did not happen for you, but if you can accept it,
and permit yourself to go through a grieving process and determine to move on in life and determine to enjoy life anyway (in spite of life not turning out how you had hoped), that you can ultimately find joy, happiness, fun, and peace without a spouse and without children.

You can find other avenues of joy, meaning, and happiness in life that don’t involve being married or having children. I made that transition myself years ago, though it took me several years of grappling with unhappiness to get there, but it can be done.

But again, notice, that although the woman letter writer here married and had children, that she is STILL depressed, feels like a failure, feels like a “loser,” and thinks she is not enough.

Being a wife and a mother – contrary to what a lot of excessively pro-family, pro-natalism Christian conservatives bang on about – did not fill that empty void she has, nor increase her self image to a healthy level.

(Link): I appear successful, but since having kids I feel I’ve lost myself

Excerpts:

Squashing your anger down is exhausting. Try using your free time to do what makes you feel good, and see what shifts

May 20, 2022
by Annalisa Barbieri

[This appears to be a question from a writer to an advice columnist named Annalisa Barbieri? – the article doesn’t make it clear]:

[Dear Advice Columnist,]

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens and have had therapy and medication on and off since I was 17 (I am now 37). I’m aware of deep-rooted low self-esteem and shame.

I feel worthless. I never want to draw attention to myself and have a paralysing fear of confrontation.

I have managed to maintain a few close friendships, have worked in the past, and am married with two kids. So I appear “successful” on the surface.

America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

(Link): America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

Excerpts:

Research suggests that falling fertility in the U.S. is not tied to demographics, economics or policy. But the impact could hit all three

 April 29, 2022

The U.S. birthrate keeps hitting new lows. While an average of 2.1 births per women of childbearing age is considered the replacement rate that would keep the population stable, America is now well below that, at an average of 1.6 children each.

And the desire to have children has also fallen, according to a new research brief for the Institute for Family Studies. Today, nearly 1 in 4 childless adults says “No thanks.”

In  (Link, off site, PDF): “No Honey, No Baby: The Relational and Economic Factors Associated With Having Children in America,” Wendy Wang, the institute’s director of research, looks for an explanation of a trend that now seems to buck some of the usual suspects: demographics, economics and family-friendly policy. Her research suggests a lot of separate factors are mingling to lead many young American adults to say “I don’t” to marriage and raising families.

“The decline of marriage goes hand in hand with falling fertility rates, simply because married women have a much higher fertility rate than unmarried women,” Wang writes, noting research by demographer Lyman Stone that shows about half the decline in fertility since 2008 tracks with a much lower marriage rate.

Sexist, Lunatic In-Law Family Members Refuse to Acknowledge that Sex of Unborn Baby is Female – They Were Hoping for a Male

Sexist, Lunatic In-Law Family Members Refuse to Acknowledge that Sex of Unborn Baby is Female – They Were Hoping for a Male

A lady wrote into the AITA (Am I The Asshole) advice section of Reddit to ask if she should apologize to her husband’s family.

After having read her ordeal, I’d say NO. Her in-laws are flaming, delusional assholes who should be apologizing to her!

(Link): “Am I Wrong For Walking Out Of The Baby Shower My In-Laws Threw For Me?”

April 4, 2022
Denis Tymulis and Liucija Adomaite

A Gallup poll revealed that 54% of American men between the ages of 18 and 49 would prefer a boy.

Knowing the gains women have made in education, suffrage and business, rooting for one gender is deeply problematic. And as it turns out, sometimes it’s the in-laws who’re rooting for one gender for a mom at an ultrasound appointment.

This twisted story comes from a 27-year-old woman who’s expecting her first baby. While the pressure from her in-laws about having a boy was building up, the doctor’s appointment came and it turned out to be a girl.

First it was her husband who broke down crying in the car and couldn’t break the news to his parents right away.

Then, it was the in-laws who ghosted her for days and “then started coming over and visiting, constantly referring to my daughter as my son, claiming the results were false and basically pretending it’s a boy.”

First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

Disclaimer (if you’re new to the blog): I am not “anti-family.”
If people, of their own informed volition, decide to have children, that is fine by me.
But I am opposed to the guilt tripping or shaming by some adults (who are usually religious or conservative) to pressure other adults (and it’s usually women who are the targets of pro-natalism propaganda) into having children.

I found some of the reasons the young, childfree or anti-natalist people cited in this article below for not having children to be strange or idiotic, but it’s not my place – or yours – to dictate to them if they have children or not.

(Link): First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

Inside America’s Baby Bust. Meet the young women who never want to have kids.

October 2021

… Americans are making fewer babies than we’ve made since we started keeping track in the 1930s. And some women, like Diamond, are not just putting off pregnancy but eliminating the possibility of it altogether.

Last year, the number of deaths exceeded that of births in 25 states — up from five the year before. The marriage rate is also at an all-time low, at 6.5 marriages per 1,000 people.

Millennials are the first generation where a majority are unmarried (about 56%). They are also more likely to live with their own parents, according to Pew, than previous generations were in their twenties and thirties.

They also aren’t having sex. The number of young men (ages 18 to 30) who admit they have had no sex in the past year tripled between 2008 and 2018.

Cities like New York, where young, secular Americans flock to to build their lives, are increasingly childless. In San Francisco, there are more dogs than children.

Couple Who Asked For Female Embryo Sues Fertility Clinic Over Baby Boy

Couple Who Asked For Female Embryo Sues Fertility Clinic Over Baby Boy

This is a switch. I usually see headlines about fathers angry that their wife gave birth to a girl and not a boy. Here we have a lesbian couple who are upset they had a baby boy.

(Link):  Couple Who Asked For Female Embryo Sues Fertility Clinic Over Baby Boy

by Amy Klein
March 27, 2022

Heather Wilhelm-Routenberg said she would only have kids with her wife Robin (Robbie) Routenberg-Wilhelm if they could have girls — because Heather was still traumatized from being sexually assaulted on two different occasions after college.

Heather and Robbie say that CNY fertility clinic in Latham, NY, assured the Buffalo couple it would not be a problem: The lab could determine the sex of any embryo, created using an egg from Robbie and donor sperm, before it was transferred into Heather.

But when Heather was 15 weeks pregnant — having been assured by the clinic that the embryo was female, she says — they found out she was carrying a boy.

The news sent her into a dark depression.

Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

To anyone who may be new to this blog:
I am not anti-nuclear family, anti-marriage, or anti-parenthood, but I do oppose conservatives, Christians, or any person or group who deifies any of those things, or who pressures or shames people into getting married and having children.

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I think pieces like the one below put to bed the common Christian “marriage fairy tale” narrative (that used to be more common in secular culture too), that if you just marry (and have children), that you will find happiness and meaning; all your dreams will come true.

You have all these married people in these confessions below who still are not happy, in spite of the fact they are married, and some of them have children, too.

(Link): Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

Excerpts:

“Having children has made me hate him.”

by Liz Richardson

A while back, redditor u/dusty_ninja asked the internet, “What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?” Several married people shared shocking secrets they’ve been keeping from their spouses — and some of them are heartbreaking.

Here are some of the most surprising ones:

…2. “I’m afraid to tell my husband that before we met and got married, I was hooking up with a married man.”
“It happened at a time when I wasn’t in a good place (I know it’s bad what I did). Even if my husband is not judgmental at all and doesn’t care about past behaviors, I’m afraid he might see me differently.”

—tidissik

3. “That having children has made me hate him.”

“He loves his kids and provides for them financially, but I do everything else — and he only helps if I ask or direct him to. It’s exhausting, and I’ve never been more resentful/angry at someone else so much in my entire life.”

Married Couple Takes DNA Test, Discovers They’re First Cousins, Confront Family Who Kept It A Secret

Married Couple Takes DNA Test, Discovers They’re First Cousins, Confront Family Who Kept It A Secret

Another time you’re glad to be never-married and celibate. No chance of this happening.

(Link): Married Couple Takes DNA Test, Discovers They’re First Cousins, Confront Family Who Kept It A Secret

Excerpts:

Speaking of which, a Redditor recently shared a story of how he ended up figuring the latter out by simply gifting his wife a DNA test kit.

… While DNA tests are great gifts, they can turn on you and point out that the person you married is actually a cousin or something

Reddit user u/PM_MeMyPassword recently went to the TIFU, or Today I Effed Up, subreddit with quite a unique story.

So, both OP and his wife grew up in a small town in the South. Both of their families have been living there for quite some time now.

Both of these lovely individuals also had previous marriages and 3 kids each from those marriages, and there are no plans for any more now that they are together.

Last year OP got his wife an Ancestry DNA kit as a gift. Apparently, she wanted to know more about her European roots, and her sister decided to do the same.

In this case, that is exactly what happened to this man, leading to his now-viral post on the TIFU subreddit

Family Sues Doctor After DNA Test Shows Adults IVF Baby Isn’t Related to Her Father

Family Sues Doctor After DNA Test Shows Adults IVF Baby Isn’t Related to Her Father 

(Link): Family Sues Doctor After DNA Test Shows Adults IVF Baby Isn’t Related to Her Father 

Feb 3, 2022
By Jesse O’Neill

An Ohio couple claimed a fertility doctor used sperm from a stranger during the 1991 insemination procedure that resulted in the birth of their daughter.

Jeanine and John “Mike” Harvey said they learned their daughter Jessica was not biologically related to her father after a DNA test showed “no genetic relation” between the two, according to a lawsuit filed Wednesday.

The Harveys accused Dr. Nicholas Spirtos and Summa Health System of malpractice, negligence and fraud, alleging they failed to “properly collect” and “safeguard” John’s genetic material.