Spain Is Outraged Because a 68-Year-Old TV Star Had a Surrogate Baby With Son’s Sperm – Also: Woman Has Sperm Extracted from Dead Fiance To Make a Baby

Spain Is Outraged Because a 68-Year-Old TV Star Had a Surrogate Baby With Son’s Sperm – Also: Woman Has Sperm Extracted from Dead Fiance To Make a Baby

These news stories seem rather weird and creepy .

Other than that, I’m not quite sure what to make of this, except to say I find conservative pearl clutching about it hypocritical, since my fellow conservatives are forever pressuring women to marry and make babies – you’d think they’d be THRILLED that these women want to bring another baby into the world, even if the fathers of the infants are dead.

You cannot win with some conservatives – if you stay single and celibate (hence, no pregnancies for you), or you are single, sexually active but use birth control, they get upset and angry with you, and they bleat on about you supposedly being selfish or complain about falling birth rates.

But if you do have a baby – while single, or via your dead son’s or dead fiance’s sperm – they don’t like that, either.

(Link): Spanish actress uses dead son’s sperm to conceive baby, works around Spain’s surrogacy ban

(Link): Socialite reveals her surrogate baby is actually her dead son’s

Ana Obregón, 68, says she could have as many as ‘five children’ using her deceased son’s sperm as this was his ‘last wish’

(Link): Fiancée Of Slain Reporter Plans To Create Fatherless Baby Using Sperm Harvested Hours After His Death – via The Federalist

Excerpt:

If Casey Fite conceives a child with the sperm she had harvested from her deceased fiance, she will be knowingly welcoming a child into fatherlessness.

by Jordan Boyd, March 9, 2023

The fiancée of slain Florida TV reporter Dylan Lyons hired someone to harvest his sperm hours after his death and plans to use it to manufacture a child in a lab.

The same day a rogue gunman shot and killed her 24-year-old future spouse while he was on the job, the grieving Casey Fite, along with Lyons’ mother, Beth Lyons, began researching how she could posthumously extract his biological matter and have his baby.

U.S. Maternal Death Rate Rose Sharply in 2021, CDC Data Shows, and Experts Worry that Problem is Getting Worse

U.S. Maternal Death Rate Rose Sharply in 2021, CDC Data Shows, and Experts Worry that Problem is Getting Worse

Since I’ve been running this blog, for over a decade now, it seems that about once every few years, a new study comes out saying that maternal deaths are on the rise in the USA.

I would like to remind the reader that I am not against people having babies, if that is their honest to goodness desire in life, and I’m not pro-choice regarding abortion, but – in light of the fact that a woman can still lose her life due to pregnancy is a pretty sobering fact, and while the left needs to stop pushing abortion, the right needs to stop shaming or pressuring women to have children.

Unless I am mis-reading the infographics included with some of the articles below, Hispanics have lower maternal death rates than Whites, yet all the news reports I’ve seen so far keep contrasting this as “Black Women Vs. White Women.”

(Link): COVID Worsened a Health Crisis Among Pregnant Women

Excerpts:

March 16, 2023
by Roni Caryn Rabin

…The National Center for Health Statistics reported Thursday that 1,205 pregnant women died in 2021, representing a 40% increase in maternal deaths compared with 2020, when there were 861 deaths, and a 60% increase compared with 2019, when there were 754.

The count includes deaths of women who were pregnant or had been pregnant within the last 42 days, from any cause related to or aggravated by the pregnancy. A separate report by the Government Accountability Office has cited COVID as a contributing factor in at least 400 maternal deaths in 2021, accounting for much of the increase.

Even before the pandemic, the United States had the highest maternal mortality rate of any industrialized nation. The coronavirus worsened an already dire situation, pushing the rate to 32.9 per 100,000 births in 2021 from 20.1 per 100,000 live births in 2019.

The Chelsea Handler Childless Woman Upset: Other Conservatives Wrongly Conflating Married Motherhood with Womanhood or Happiness, Meaning, Purpose

The Chelsea Handler Childless Woman Upset: Other Conservatives Wrongly Conflating Married Motherhood with Womanhood or with Happiness, Meaning, or Purpose

After entertainer Chelsea Handler uploaded (Link): a Tweet with a video of herself listing the numerous ways she enjoys life due to being childless – I didn’t see anything in the video mentioning abortion – a lot of other conservatives jumped to shame and scold Handler for being happy about being childless and publicly expressing that happiness.

Others have said that Handler had two or three abortions in the past. The fact that Handler previously had abortions does not change the substance of my problems with conservative reaction to Handler’s video.

I am pro-life, not pro-choice, so I don’t agree with Handler’s actions to terminate her pregnancies.

However, again, I don’t recall Handler’s “happy to be childless” video advocating abortion or mentioning anything about abortion.

I don’t think her video criticized or shamed women for being mothers or for wanting to be mothers.

The only possible, even remotely “anti motherhood” take away one can get from her video is that mothers – assuming they are good, non-abusive mothers – invest a lot of time in child-rearing, but Handler doesn’t frame it in an anti-motherhood way.

It’s Okay For Women to Be Childless at Any Age and to be Happy About Being Childless, Just Like It’s Okay For Mothers to Be Happy About Being Mothers

Handler was just showing ways she has more free time because she doesn’t have to participate in childcare – which is not the same thing as being “anti-motherhood,” or telling other women they are wrong to be mothers.

It’s perfectly fine for a woman to be single and childless and to be happy about it.

Women can and should find meaning and purpose apart from marriage and motherhood. It’s unhealthy for any person to wrap up all their happiness, meaning, or purpose into one identity, station of life, or role.

If you are a married mother, your children will grow up, move out, and seldom visit you once they’re gone. Your husband may develop dementia, abuse you, or cheat on you, so that you will be without emotional support or you will have to divorce him.
In all these situations, you will be left with yourself, by yourself, and god help you if you never forged purpose, identity, happiness, or meaning apart from a spouse and children.

There’s no reason to criticize or shame an adult, man or woman, for being single and childless and for being happy about it and posting about it.

My fellow conservatives often push motherhood (via podcasts, tweets, magazine articles, church sermons, blog posts, etc) to a loopy, creepy, fevered pitch, about how super awesome, fulfilling, and wonderful motherhood supposedly is – but goodness forbid a childless woman lists or publicizes the ways she’s happy with being childless – and do so without criticizing motherhood or mothers. That’s a huge double standard.

I also didn’t agree with Handler’s mockery of single women who choose to remain virgins until marriage or to remain chaste (I blogged about that (Link): here a few years ago).

Unfortunately, in the midst of criticizing Handler, a lot of conservatives today were conflating “womanhood” to married motherhood. 

However, a woman remains a woman regardless if she has a child or is infertile, childless, or childfree, or whether she wants to have children or not.

The Bizarre, Misguided Shaming of Single and Childless or Childfree Women by Pro-Lifer Abby Johnson – (Not All Single, Childless Women are Liberal, Pro-Choice Feminists)

The Bizarre, Misguided Shaming of Single and Childless or Childfree Women by Pro-Lifer Abby Johnson – (Not All Single, Childless Women are Liberal, Pro-Choice Feminists)

When I was on Twitter the other day, someone who I follow on Twitter commented on a Tweet by a lady calling herself Abby Johnson.

A reminder: I sometimes follow people on social media who I don’t fully agree with on all topics. I’m a conservative, but I follow some liberals and progressives, including women who call themselves “radical feminists.” A lot of those radical feminists are pro-choice; they support abortion, I do not.

Like me, most of those radical feminists do not support “sex work” (strip clubs, prostitution, etc), and they do not support transgender activism.

Here is how Abby Johnson is currently describing herself on her Twitter bio (@AbbyJohnson):

Planned Parenthood Director turned Pro-Life Advocate! CEO of @ATTWNministry
. Global Ambassador for @COL1972official
. Best selling author & speaker. Mama/Wife
— end Twitter bio —

I am sincerely glad to hear that Johnson flipped her opinion on abortion, that she went from being pro-choice to pro-life.

Johnson seems a bit familiar. I think I may have seen her interviewed on Christian television program “The 700 Club,” in one of their CBN news segments, or perhaps I saw her on Fox News at some point?

At any rate, I am dismayed by her Twitter feed. Unfortunately, she, like many of my other fellow conservatives, falsely equates motherhood and wifehood with womanhood. I corrected her on that under a few of her other tweets.

(I’m not sure if Johnson is a Christian or not, but from her tweets, I can see that she leans right – as I do – and she also is pro-life, does not support transgenderism. I too am pro-life, and I sure as heck do not support progressive transgenderism, ie, allowing biological men who say they are women into women’s prisons, women’s locker rooms and so forth).

Also like a lot of other conservatives, Johnson holds a lot of false stereotypes about secular, liberal feminists. Not all feminists support trans activism, are anti-men, anti-nuclear family, and so on. There are actually women feminists who are married mothers.

If you’ve followed my blog, you will already know that I am middle-aged, I am single by circumstance (not by choice – not that men or women who choose to be single should be criticized for that, either), I am a conservative, I am anti-progressive trans agenda, and I am pro-life.

I am not opposed to The Nuclear Family, parenthood, and marriage, but I am opposed to the deification of such by other conservatives.

(Yes, most conservatives have unfortunately turned “the family,” motherhood, fatherhood, and marriage into idols, and they frequently love to make negative assumptions about, and insult anyone, who isn’t married or who doesn’t have children).

Let’s look at some of Johnson’s tweets – here’s the first one that I saw the other day, because someone I followed on Twitter commented below it (link to her tweet):

So, what does Johnson do with conservative, pro-life, anti- leftist transgender activism, middle-aged never married women such as myself, who was a devout Christian for decades, who had expected to get married, never met the right guy, remained faithful to biblical sexual ethics – no sex outside of marriage, hence no pregnancies?

Why is Johnson lumping pro-life, conservative, single, childless women, such as myself, into the same group with progressive, pro-choice, pro-progressive- gender- ideology women? Which is what she’s doing, because she’s equating being a woman, and/or a decent, happy woman, with being married and a mother.

Johnson is unnecessarily insulting other pro-life, conservative women who never did marry, who may never marry, and who do not have children, and she’s doing this to score a few points against what she terms “radical feminists,” who she (like many of my other fellow conservatives) wrongly assume, are all man-hating, baby-hating, single women who are lonely, miserable Cat Ladies.

(The Cat Lady trope is very sexist and needs to die off already. I usually see men tossing this at women. It feels a little more gross to see a woman tossing this sexist stand-by at other women to insult them with.)

In trying to score points against radical feminists, many of whom are actually married with children (and possibly cats) of their own, Johnson creates collateral damage.

Meaning…
Not all conservative, anti-trans agenda, pro-life women are married, can get married, or want to get married. Not all conservative, anti-trans agenda, pro-life women have children, can have children, or want to have children.

Why is Abby Johnson throwing such conservative women under the bus? To get some cheap shots in at liberal, feminist, pro-choice women?

I’m a conservative, and while I do not agree with feminists (radical or otherwise) on every issue, I am not okay with Johnson (or other conservatives) shaming or insulting liberal or pro-choice women over their marital or parenting status, or that of mine or that of other conservative women.

I cannot imagine how Johnson hopes to change any pro-choice minds by carrying on like she is?

University Hosts ‘Abolish the Family’ Book Talk – Progressives are in Error to Be Opposed to the Nuclear Family Just as Much as Conservatives are in Error for “Over” Promoting It

University Hosts ‘Abolish the Family’ Book Talk – Progressives are in Error to Be Opposed to the Nuclear Family Just as Much as Conservatives are in Error for “Over” Promoting It

Both Progressives and Conservatives hold some incorrect attitudes or feelings about or towards The Nuclear Family.

I’m a conservative.

I can see how too many conservatives have put far too much emphasis upon The Nuclear Family (as well as upon parenthood, marriage, and natalism) to an unhealthy degree, to the point they marginalize or shame any adult who remains single (or childless) into their 30s and older, which is wrong.

The Bible does NOT hold The Nuclear Family (or marriage, natalism) up to the insane degree that so many Christians and secular conservatives do. Secular and religious conservatives have turned parenthood, marriagehood, children, and The Nuclear Family into idols.

On the other hand, the Bible is not opposed to parenthood, marriage, or The Nuclear Family.

Bible or not, I myself am not against parenthood, marriage, or The Nuclear Family and don’t see a good reason to be opposed to any of them.

So I don’t take kindly to any progressive person or group who runs around shaming anyone for being married with children, or for wanting to marry and/or have children, or for promoting arguments insisting that The Nuclear Family should be altogether abolished.

I also do not agree with or support Marxism, either. A lot of this anti-Nuclear Family garbage by leftists is usually under-girded by their promotion of Marxism, identity politics, state control, etc.

(Link): University Hosts ‘Abolish the Family’ Book Talk

(also via (Link): Campus Reform)

Dec 9, 2022
By Georgia Lucas

Sophie Lewis, an author and professor, spoke at UMass Boston on November 16 to discuss her book “Abolish the Family: A Manifesto for Care and Liberation.”

Lewis is a faculty member at the Brooklyn Institute for Social Research where she “teaches courses on feminist, trans and queer politics and philosophy.”

“Abolish the Family” suggests that the nuclear family is racist and sexist.

Her scholarship also argues that children should have more say in healthcare choices such as gender transitions.

Ideas from “Abolish the Family: A Manifesto for Care and Liberation” stem from utopian socialist and sex radical Charles Fourier, communist family abolitionist Alexandra Kollontai, feminist Shulamith Firestone, and “queer marxists bringing family abolition to the twenty-first century” according to Verso Books.

Lewis’ book suggests that “Nobody is more likely to harm you than your family.”

I’m Not Anti-Motherhood, but This is Disturbing: Putin Offers $16,000 Reward, Honorary Title to Russian Women Who Have Ten Children

I’m Not Anti-Motherhood, but This is Disturbing: Putin Offers $16,000 Reward, Honorary Title to Russian Women Who Have Ten Children 

This is so gross.

Though I’m a conservative, I can imagine a contingent of Conservatives (like Tucker Carlson and a few hyper, pro nuclear family types) extolling this and saying how the U.S. government should do the same thing. BARF.

(Link): Putin offers $16,000 reward, honorary title to Russian women who have 10 children

August 18, 2022
by Andrew Mark Miller

The Russian government announced this week it is bringing back a Soviet-era honorary title and financial reward bestowed upon Russian women who have 10 or more children.

In a decree this week that Russian President Vladimir Putin signed, it was announced that the title of “Mother Heroine” will again be awarded to Russian women who “birth and raise” 10 Russian citizens.

The title will come with a reward of 1 million Russian Rubles, equating to roughly $16,645 in U.S. dollars, once the tenth child turns one year of age. Recipients will also earn a five-pointed golden star medal, the decree states.

Sperm Donor With Incurable Condition Who Fathered 15 Children Unmasked by Judge to Stop More Women Responding to His Online Ads

Sperm Donor With Incurable Condition Who Fathered 15 Children Unmasked by Judge to Stop More Women Responding to His Online Ads

(Link): Sperm donor fathered 15 children despite DNA condition

Excerpts:

May 31, 2022

A man fathered 15 children after advertising his sperm on social media despite having an inheritable condition, a court has heard.

James MacDougall has a genetic condition which means his children could have learning difficulties.

At the court hearing last week, he was told he would not be able to contact three of his children.

(Link): Sperm donor fathered 15 kids without telling moms he has genetic IQ disease

May 31, 2022
By Brooke Steinberg

A Facebook sperm donor fathered 15 children but never told the mothers he has an inheritable condition that causes learning disabilities.

James MacDougall, 37, fathered children with lesbian women through private donations advertised on social media despite knowing he had incurable Fragile X syndrome, a genetic disorder that leads to low IQ and developmental delay.

MacDougall’s identity came out in a family court battle in Derby, United Kingdom, after he applied for parental responsibility and child arrangement orders for four of his children — even though he originally signed an agreement saying he didn’t want contact with some of his children.

I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)

I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)

Before I get to the link and the letter, I wanted to say…

The article below – via The Guardian – doesn’t make it clear, but the following appears to be an e-mail or a letter from a married mother who has low self esteem, and she’s writing to this paper for advice, guidance, and help.

I’m sorry this lady is not doing well, but I want you to take away from this that being married and being a mother (having children) will not necessarily make you happy, or bring you joy, inner peace, or a healthy sense of identity.

I’m afraid that a lot of conservatives – especially Christians – keep promoting these false notions to women, from the time we are girls, that if we just marry (and/or have children), that being married and a parent will bring us permanent happiness and purpose in life, but clearly, that is not the case.

I am not “anti family” nor “anti motherhood,” but I figured out a long time ago that being a parent or married may not bring you fulfillment in life, and it is that expectation that a lot of “pro family,” “pro motherhood” type of conservatives continue to hold up – it is misleading, false hope and propaganda.

I’ve got other examples on my blog of women who married (or who are mothers), and yet, being married (or being a mother) didn’t bring them happiness, but they were still left feeling overlooked, depressed, or lonely – in some cases, because the man they married doesn’t meet their emotional needs regularly, but spends all his day wrapped up in his hobbies or watching television.

I have blog posts of women who admit that they regret motherhood!

I think if you’re someone who had hoped or expected to marry (or have children) it can be painful  or very disappointing if that did not happen for you, but if you can accept it,
and permit yourself to go through a grieving process and determine to move on in life and determine to enjoy life anyway (in spite of life not turning out how you had hoped), that you can ultimately find joy, happiness, fun, and peace without a spouse and without children.

You can find other avenues of joy, meaning, and happiness in life that don’t involve being married or having children. I made that transition myself years ago, though it took me several years of grappling with unhappiness to get there, but it can be done.

But again, notice, that although the woman letter writer here married and had children, that she is STILL depressed, feels like a failure, feels like a “loser,” and thinks she is not enough.

Being a wife and a mother – contrary to what a lot of excessively pro-family, pro-natalism Christian conservatives bang on about – did not fill that empty void she has, nor increase her self image to a healthy level.

(Link): I appear successful, but since having kids I feel I’ve lost myself

Excerpts:

Squashing your anger down is exhausting. Try using your free time to do what makes you feel good, and see what shifts

May 20, 2022
by Annalisa Barbieri

[This appears to be a question from a writer to an advice columnist named Annalisa Barbieri? – the article doesn’t make it clear]:

[Dear Advice Columnist,]

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens and have had therapy and medication on and off since I was 17 (I am now 37). I’m aware of deep-rooted low self-esteem and shame.

I feel worthless. I never want to draw attention to myself and have a paralysing fear of confrontation.

I have managed to maintain a few close friendships, have worked in the past, and am married with two kids. So I appear “successful” on the surface.

America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

(Link): America’s Fertility Dilemma by Lois M. Collins

Excerpts:

Research suggests that falling fertility in the U.S. is not tied to demographics, economics or policy. But the impact could hit all three

 April 29, 2022

The U.S. birthrate keeps hitting new lows. While an average of 2.1 births per women of childbearing age is considered the replacement rate that would keep the population stable, America is now well below that, at an average of 1.6 children each.

And the desire to have children has also fallen, according to a new research brief for the Institute for Family Studies. Today, nearly 1 in 4 childless adults says “No thanks.”

In  (Link, off site, PDF): “No Honey, No Baby: The Relational and Economic Factors Associated With Having Children in America,” Wendy Wang, the institute’s director of research, looks for an explanation of a trend that now seems to buck some of the usual suspects: demographics, economics and family-friendly policy. Her research suggests a lot of separate factors are mingling to lead many young American adults to say “I don’t” to marriage and raising families.

“The decline of marriage goes hand in hand with falling fertility rates, simply because married women have a much higher fertility rate than unmarried women,” Wang writes, noting research by demographer Lyman Stone that shows about half the decline in fertility since 2008 tracks with a much lower marriage rate.

First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

Disclaimer (if you’re new to the blog): I am not “anti-family.”
If people, of their own informed volition, decide to have children, that is fine by me.
But I am opposed to the guilt tripping or shaming by some adults (who are usually religious or conservative) to pressure other adults (and it’s usually women who are the targets of pro-natalism propaganda) into having children.

I found some of the reasons the young, childfree or anti-natalist people cited in this article below for not having children to be strange or idiotic, but it’s not my place – or yours – to dictate to them if they have children or not.

(Link): First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

Inside America’s Baby Bust. Meet the young women who never want to have kids.

October 2021

… Americans are making fewer babies than we’ve made since we started keeping track in the 1930s. And some women, like Diamond, are not just putting off pregnancy but eliminating the possibility of it altogether.

Last year, the number of deaths exceeded that of births in 25 states — up from five the year before. The marriage rate is also at an all-time low, at 6.5 marriages per 1,000 people.

Millennials are the first generation where a majority are unmarried (about 56%). They are also more likely to live with their own parents, according to Pew, than previous generations were in their twenties and thirties.

They also aren’t having sex. The number of young men (ages 18 to 30) who admit they have had no sex in the past year tripled between 2008 and 2018.

Cities like New York, where young, secular Americans flock to to build their lives, are increasingly childless. In San Francisco, there are more dogs than children.

Couple Who Asked For Female Embryo Sues Fertility Clinic Over Baby Boy

Couple Who Asked For Female Embryo Sues Fertility Clinic Over Baby Boy

This is a switch. I usually see headlines about fathers angry that their wife gave birth to a girl and not a boy. Here we have a lesbian couple who are upset they had a baby boy.

(Link):  Couple Who Asked For Female Embryo Sues Fertility Clinic Over Baby Boy

by Amy Klein
March 27, 2022

Heather Wilhelm-Routenberg said she would only have kids with her wife Robin (Robbie) Routenberg-Wilhelm if they could have girls — because Heather was still traumatized from being sexually assaulted on two different occasions after college.

Heather and Robbie say that CNY fertility clinic in Latham, NY, assured the Buffalo couple it would not be a problem: The lab could determine the sex of any embryo, created using an egg from Robbie and donor sperm, before it was transferred into Heather.

But when Heather was 15 weeks pregnant — having been assured by the clinic that the embryo was female, she says — they found out she was carrying a boy.

The news sent her into a dark depression.

Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

To anyone who may be new to this blog:
I am not anti-nuclear family, anti-marriage, or anti-parenthood, but I do oppose conservatives, Christians, or any person or group who deifies any of those things, or who pressures or shames people into getting married and having children.

---

I think pieces like the one below put to bed the common Christian “marriage fairy tale” narrative (that used to be more common in secular culture too), that if you just marry (and have children), that you will find happiness and meaning; all your dreams will come true.

You have all these married people in these confessions below who still are not happy, in spite of the fact they are married, and some of them have children, too.

(Link): Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking

Excerpts:

“Having children has made me hate him.”

by Liz Richardson

A while back, redditor u/dusty_ninja asked the internet, “What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?” Several married people shared shocking secrets they’ve been keeping from their spouses — and some of them are heartbreaking.

Here are some of the most surprising ones:

…2. “I’m afraid to tell my husband that before we met and got married, I was hooking up with a married man.”
“It happened at a time when I wasn’t in a good place (I know it’s bad what I did). Even if my husband is not judgmental at all and doesn’t care about past behaviors, I’m afraid he might see me differently.”

—tidissik

3. “That having children has made me hate him.”

“He loves his kids and provides for them financially, but I do everything else — and he only helps if I ask or direct him to. It’s exhausting, and I’ve never been more resentful/angry at someone else so much in my entire life.”