Life in prison for Satanist who dismembered and ate mother-of-three after taking her back to his house for sex – The Flip Side to Be Equally Yoked

Life in prison for Tennessee satanist who dismembered and ate mother-of-three after taking her back to his house for sex

(Link): Life in prison for Tennessee Satanist who dismembered and ate mother-of-three after taking her back to his house for sex

For all my pontificating on this blog about how stupid, unnecessary, possibly dangerous and limiting the “Be Equally Yoked” teaching is for and among single Christians, I do NOT mean to otherwise imply that any and every NON-Christian man is a safe bet for dating, companionship, or marriage.

If you are a single Christian woman, you need to be careful about the men you associate with regardless of that man’s religious beliefs.

There is no “safe bet.”

Continue reading “Life in prison for Satanist who dismembered and ate mother-of-three after taking her back to his house for sex – The Flip Side to Be Equally Yoked”

Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews – Equally Yoked

Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews

It’s interesting to see people of other faiths question this (intermarriage).

(Link): Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews

As for Christians, I no longer accept or agree with the “Be Equally Yoked” teaching.

If you’d like to know why I’m no longer on board with it, I have several posts on that topic, including, but not limited to these posts:

If you do a search for the phrase “equally yoked” using this blog’s search feature, you can find even more, similar posts.

I’ve also done posts about Mormon women having problems finding Mormon husbands – there are more Mormon, single women than there are Mormon, single men.

When you tell women it is sin or wrong for them to marry outside of their faith, you are dooming them to a life time of singleness.

And I use the word “doom” there because some religious ladies want very much to marry – I was one. I find myself single past age of 40, however.

I’ve had to learn to grieve and cope with and accept being single, and there were next to no resources for me; I had to find my way alone. Most literature by Christians about singles like me shames and blames me for my singleness, rather than help me navigate my life as it is.

(Link): Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews

A few excerpts:

  • Jan 08, 2015 by Lauren Markoe
  • (RNS) Whether Jews should only date and marry other Jews is not a new question, but it’s one that has come into stark relief in recent weeks.

    In two separate instances in December, groups within Conservative Judaism—the second-largest movement of American Jews—appeared to challenge some of their own rules that discourage interfaith dating and matrimony:

    • A prominent Conservative rabbi asked his Massachusetts congregation to consider allowing him to preside at weddings between Jews and non-Jews, as long as the couples committed to raising Jewish children.
    • The Conservative movement’s youth group adopted a policy that seemed to relax a ban prohibiting its leaders from dating non-Jews.
  • Unlike rabbis in Reform Judaism, the largest American stream of Judaism, Conservative rabbis may not preside at interfaith marriages. Conservative Judaism has stood fast on this, even as it has embraced female rabbis and same-sex weddings and welcomed the non-Jewish spouses of congregants into its synagogues.
  • But Rabbi Wesley Gardenswartz of Temple Emanuel in Newton, Massachusetts, said he floated the proposal because he wanted to keep families connected to his synagogue.
  • … “Jewish tradition says Jewish marriage occurs between Jewish people,” she said. “As rabbis, our role is to teach, inspire, and promulgate that tradition.”
  • … To Rabbi Rick Jacobs, head of the Union for Reform Judaism, the Conservative movement stands at the same crossroads where the Reform stood about a generation ago. As he put it, an increasing number of Jews are recognizing that “intermarriage is a fact of life, as gravity is.”

That paper also contains quotes from conservative Jews who bemoan this (ie, intermarriage) as an affront to Judaism. Christians who are staunchly against Unequally Yoked marriages are the same way.

Once you start putting your religion, or rules, or the institution of marriage, above the welfare and happiness of human beings, you’ve made an idol out of marriage.

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Related:

(Link): When Mormonism Sounds Like Gender Complementarian Christianity – Also: Man Shortage in Mormonism Just Like Christianity

(Link): Should Christian Women Marry Non Christian Men? (discussed at another blog) Be Not Unequally Yoked Dangerous Teaching to Single Christian Women

(Link): ‘Chained wives,’ refused Jewish divorces by their husbands, take to social media

(Link):  Forced Child Marriages in Canadian Jewish Cult

(Link): Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’ (written by a lady at another blog)

(Link): Wife of Christian Preacher Shoots, Kills Him, Recounts Years of Physical and Sexual Abuse – So Much for the Equally Yoked Teaching and the Notion that Christian married sex is Mind Blowing

(Link): Christian Host Pat Robertson Tells Christian Woman Who Married Christian Man Who Turned Out to Be Totally Unethical That She has Discernment of a Slug – Single Women: toss Be Equally Yoked teaching in the trash can

Man Who Worked as Preacher Allegedly Drowned His Pregnant Wife To Be With His Mistress

Man Who Worked as Preacher Allegedly Drowned His Pregnant Wife To Be With His Mistress

Contrary to the usual Christian claim, marriage does not sanctify people. I have many more examples on this blog – go visit the “Marriage Does Not Make People Godly” thread under the “One Stop Threads” tab at the top of this blog for more.

Also, as Christian men – like this man who worked as a pastor – are not necessarily more trustworthy than Non Christian men, there is no need for Christian single women to marry only Christian men (“equally yoked”).

In addition, this story betrays the usual conservative Christian narrative that getting married and becoming a father makes a man more mature, loving, and godly – this man who killed his wife did so while she was PREGNANT. If fatherhood magically made a man more sensitive, mature, and loving, would this jerk have drowned his pregnant wife in the tub?

(Link):  Crown argues ex-pastor Philip Grandine drowned his pregnant wife

Excerpts

  • Disguised in a banana smoothie was a sedative — not enough for an overdose, but enough to make Anna Karissa Grandine drowsy and confused, the Crown told the jury in closing arguments on the final day of the first-degree murder trial.
  • That’s when Philip Grandine carried or coaxed his 20-weeks pregnant wife, to the bathtub, Crown prosecutor Donna Kellway said.
  • The former pastor and retirement home nurse may have gently held her head under the water until she drowned, or let gravity pull her non-resistant body below the surface, Kellway said.
  • Either way her death on Oct. 17, 2011 “was no accident and no suicide.”Grandine, she said, acted with “intent to kill” the 29-year-old woman who stood in the way of him being with his mistress.

    The defence has argued that Karissa, as she was known, took the sedatives herself, defence has argued amid a depression caused by husband’s ongoing affair with a woman who was a member of his parish. Grandine had recently resigned as a pastor because of the affair.

    Grandine, who sat behind his lawyer and kept his gaze focused on Kellway, has pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder.

Marriage and parenthood do not make people more mature, godly, loving, or ethical!

Married parents can be complete deviants. There’s nothing about having a spouse or child that automatically makes a person behave in a more moral fashion than someone who is single and childless.

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Related:

(Link): Baptist missionary and husband murders wife on Valentine’s Day so he could be with his mistress – Tell me again why Christian women should only date or marry Christians when garbage like this keeps happening?

(Link): Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says – Single Xtian Ladies: Kick that Be Equally Yoked Teaching to the Curb! Also: Marriage and Parenthood do not make people more godly or mature or loving or ethical

Update on Christian Rapist Man Who Used Christian Mingle Site To Pick His Victims (he liked to discuss Jesus and the Bible with them before raping them – other details in update) Equally Yoked Teaching IS A FARCE

Update on Christian Rapist Man Who Used Christian Mingle Site To Pick His Victims

As if you, a single Christian woman who desires marriage, needed another reason to stop believing in “equally yoked.”

According to one news story below:

  • … After the verdict, Deputy District Attorney David Williams III called Banks a “very dangerous Internet predator” who talked about Jesus and the Bible with the woman he met through ChristianMingle.com before going to her apartment.

Also:

  • She [one of his victims] added, “I pray for him every day. I pray that he changes.”During his trial, the woman testified that she met Banks on ChristianMingle because she “believed in God, Scripture, going to church, reading the Bible, and … wanted someone who had those same interests.”

What have I been saying on this blog all along? It matters not if a man is a “true” or “real” Christian or not, you have to judge a man by his BEHAVIOR, not his professed beliefs.

A man who talks about Jesus and reads a Bible is no less likely to rape you than a man who does neither of those things – this story is just one more indication of that. Some rapists and murderers work as preachers or elders in churches (I have examples on this blog, go to this page)

You cannot trust a man based on his profession of faith, if he reads and believes the Bible, and attends church regularly.

Here is an update to a story I posted about a year or more ago:

(Link): Christian date-site rapist gets 37 to life 

  • By Pauline Repard12:03 P.M.NOV. 7, 2014
  • Updated1:15 P.M.
  • A Del Mar man who raped two women he met on a Christian dating website was sentenced Friday to 37 years to life in prison after he challenged one victim to take a lie-detector test.

    Sean Patrick Banks spoke briefly at his sentencing hearing, saying he would consider giving up appealing his conviction if one victim, identified in court as KK, “can pass a polygraph on the salient parts of this case.”

  • …. But Goldstein said Banks’ statements to investigators showed him as an angry man whose “hatred for women is appalling.”

    Prosecutor David Williams III called Banks a sexual predator who has shown no remorse for his attacks.

    … Goldstein imposed a middle-term sentence on Banks, who was convicted by a jury in June of meeting KK through Christianmingle.com and RO through Match.com and forcing himself on them in separate encounters.

  • … Allred told reporters she and Kuhlman “want other potential victims to be aware of the risk of online dating. We don’t want what happened to Katie happen to anyone else, and if it does, we urge other victims of predators to immediately report what happened to police.”

    Allred declined to comment on whether she would be filing suit against Christianmingle.com

(Link): Man sentenced for raping women he met online

  • Sean Patrick Banks, 39, was convicted in June of raping a La Mesa woman in her apartment after they met on ChristianMingle.com in November 2012 and raping another woman he met on Match.com in 2009.
  •  After the verdict, Deputy District Attorney David Williams III called Banks a “very dangerous Internet predator” who talked about Jesus and the Bible with the woman he met through ChristianMingle.com before going to her apartment.
  • The woman Banks met on Match.com said he forced her to have sex after they had dinner and drinks at a La Jolla restaurant.As for the woman he met on ChristianMingle.com, referred to as “KK” in court, she said he raped her in his home.“Sean put his hand tightly around my neck and told me that he thought it was crazy, with just one twist you could snap someone’s neck and kill them,” Katie Kuhlman said.

(Link): Del Mar man gets 37-year sentence for raping women from dating sites

    • A Del Mar man was sentenced Friday to 37 years to life in prison for raping two women he met on the dating sites ChristianMingle.com and Match.com.
    • Sean Banks, 39, a computer technician and former Navy officer, told El Cajon Superior Court Judge Daniel Goldstein that he was willing to drop his appeal if one of the victims would take a polygraph test.
    • Goldstein responded that asking a victim to take a lie detector test showed a lack of remorse. He added that Banks’ statements to La Mesa police showed “his hatred of women.”
    • ..She [one of his victims] added, “I pray for him every day. I pray that he changes.”During his trial, the woman testified that she met Banks on ChristianMingle because she “believed in God, Scripture, going to church, reading the Bible, and … wanted someone who had those same interests.”
    • For their first date in October 2012, she testified, she invited Banks to her apartment in La Mesa to watch a movie. He quickly began making physical advances, she said.”I didn’t believe that was happening and I said at the top of my lungs” for him to stop, she said.

(Link):  Man Sentenced to 37 Years in Christian Mingle Rape Case

Christian student ‘decapitated 19-year-old friend because he thought he practiced witchcraft’

Christian student ‘decapitated 19-year-old friend because he thought he practiced witchcraft’

Obviously, this weirdo was acting in opposition to New Testament teachings, but he apparently feels that he is a sincere Christian, regardless

“Be equally yoked” is a joke. Another example.

(Link):  Christian student ‘decapitated 19-year-old friend because he thought he practiced witchcraft’

Southern Baptist Church Music Minister in Kentucky, Age 62, Pays Father of 11 Year Old Girl For Sex Several Times

For anyone new to this blog:

This news story touches on two common themes I comment on here.

First of all, many conservative Christians harbor this unbiblical, untrue idea that marriage and being a parent somehow makes a person more loving, godly, ethical, or compassionate than someone who never marries, or is not yet married, or who is childless.

Secondly, Christians will tell you that you are in sin or in error if you are a Christian and marry a Non-Christian (the be equally yoked teaching).

The problem with this yoked teaching is that there are not enough Christian men for the ladies who wish to marry, leaving the ladies to go through life single unless they are willing to marry Non Christians.

Secondly, many Christian men are perverts – they are porn addicts, wife abusers, they rape children and so forth, so that I see no advantage in a Christian woman holding out for a Christian mate, all based on one or two Bible verses that mention in passing “equally yoked” and “a woman should only marry in the lord when husband number one dies.”

I firmly believe a Christian woman, or any woman, needs to consider a man’s character, his past, and his actions more so than any professed belief in Jesus, or whatever other deity. You cannot be guaranteed of getting a steady, reliable, loving partner just based on the fact if the guy says he believes in Jesus, reads the Bible, prays, or teaches Sunday School at the local church.

Another example below.

(And notice the reactions of the people who went to church with this pervert, who were interviewed: they say they are stunned, because the information that he is a deviant “does not fit with the man they knew at church.”)

And what kind of father sells his 11 year old daughter for sex at $100 a pop (or at any amount, or hey, giving her away for sex for free would also be reprehensible)? See, being a parent does not make a person necessarily more “godly” or responsible than being a non-parent.

(Link): Southern Baptist Church Music Minister in Kentucky, Age 62, Pays Father of 11 Year Old Girl For Sex Several Times

Excerpts (to read the full article, please use the link above):

  • A Southern Baptist music minister in Kentucky faces federal charges stemming from alleged sexual exploitation of a 10-year-old girl.
  • By Bob Allen
  • A Southern Baptist music minister remains in custody after his Oct. 16 arrest by the FBI’s Child Exploitation Task Force in LaGrange, Ky.
  • Howard Key Chambers, 62, minister of music at DeHaven Baptist Church in La Grange, Ky., was (Link): denied bail Oct. 22 in U.S. District Court.
  • …At last week’s hearing in Louisville, prosecutors claimed Chambers posted an ad describing a sex fantasy on Craigslist, and through it met a man who offered to let him pay to have sex with his 10-year-old daughter. Chambers allegedly engaged in sex acts with the girl, now 11, seven or eight times during the past year, paying $100 to $200 to the father in exchange.

    … The father also faces federal charges, but he is not being identified out of concern for the child.

    Members of DeHaven Baptist Church said the allegations against Chambers don’t match the man they know.

  • “This kind of thing just really took the wind out of us,” church member Gary Rawlings told WDRB. Rawlings said he usually ate dinner with Chambers at the church on Wednesday night. “Really a fine, fine fellow,” he said, “was doing a great job as a music minister.”

    DeHaven Baptist Church is affiliated locally with Oldham-Trimble Baptist Association and nationally with the Southern Baptist Convention.

Married Father, who worked as church youth volunteer, charged with owning child pornography

Married Father, who worked as church youth volunteer, charged with owning child pornography

This guy is married, with a teen-aged daughter, and worked as a church youth pastor, and police say the guy owned or shared child pornography.

One thing you can learn from this story and others like it:

Marriage and parenting, contrary to what conservative Christians continually maintain, does not necessarily, or always, make a person more godly, ethical, or mature.

And marriage certainly does not make people immune from committing sexual transgressions.

There is also therefore little point in Christians upholding the “be equally yoked” teaching, where-in they teach that Christians may only marry other Christians, since so many Christian men are abusive, drug addicts, or child pornographers.

I’m not seeing a rationale for the teaching that a Christian may only marry another Christian, nor am I seeing the wisdom in it, how it would be of benefit to a single woman.

(Link):  Church youth volunteer charged with possession of child porn in Monroeville

Excerpts (fair use):

  • Andrew Patterson arrested, resigns from Living Waters Family Worship Center in Irwin
  • UPDATED 7:05 PM EDT Oct 17, 2014
  • A youth group church volunteer has resigned and been arrested after the district attorney’s office charged him with possessing hundreds of images and videos of child pornography, some featuring adults performing sex acts with infants.
  • ….”It’s hard, but I’m just trying to take one day at a time,” Patterson’s wife said.

    “Why? What made you do it?” Patterson’s teenage daughter said Friday. “I love you, but it’s disgusting.”

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Related posts:

(Link):  Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

(Link):  Parenthood Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

Single Woman Meets Stalker Guy at Church – letter to “Ask Amy” Advice Columnist

Single Woman Meets Stalker Guy at Church

Growing up, I heard from my Mom and Dad, who were both Christians, that church is the ideal place for a Christian, single gal to attend if she wants to meet a decent, single, Christian man – if her goal is to marry. Church was supposed to be the primary husband hunting ground for women. That may have been true in the 1950s, but no more.

For one thing, most churches lack single males past 30, and the few who do attend regularly, from what I’ve seen myself, and have read other women discuss online and in books of their church going experience, tend to be weird, terribly over-weight, have severe mental health issues, smell bad, etc. and so on.

The kind of men who do show up to church are often not date-able men.

The solution to how to attract more men to church has nothing to do with women, with what women do or do not do for men, single or married.

Women, single or married, do not owe adult, single, celibate or non-celibate men ego-stroking or emotional support for being celibate singles (see this post for more on that, and I may write another post on this topic in the future).

I do think the church as a whole – that is, church culture – needs to be affirming of lifelong or adult celibacy and singlehood overall, including everyone from the male pastor to the male deacons, elders, and women who teach Sunday School, because God knows they have made marriage, “the family,” and natalism into idols that they never shut up about, but to “single” the single women out for this purpose is sexist and odd.

Yes, really and truly, there are some self-identified adult, Christian, celibate single men who believe that male church attendance would sky rocket if only the mean, horrible, heartless, single adult women would pile on the affirmations to the single, celibate men and sing the praises of adult celibate men.

Oh please. You’re not five years old. Motivate yourself. Single, celibate adult women are not to blame for churches who ignore single, celibate men. Churches ignore both genders, not only the single men. They ignore single women too.

If you’re an adult over 25, stop demanding, like a petulant, whiny, demanding teenager, that adult, unmarried women stroke your ego for being celibate or single.

A lot of adult, single women are finding most churches irrelevant to their needs, so more and more adult single women are dropping out of church. I don’t see celibate, single men or churches in general making single, celibate women feel more welcome.

On the contrary, churches continue to marginalize single, celibate women by continually harping on how God’s only role for women is to marry and have babies.

Anyway. This single, 25 year old woman mentioned in the letter below that she met a single guy at church who is around 35 (I may have gotten his age wrong, I thought I saw the mom say he is ten years older than the daughter), and he turned out to be a stalker – and I have a few more comments to make below these letters:

  • DEAR AMY: My 25-year-old daughter briefly dated a man she met in church last December.
  • After one month, she ended the friendship (he was too emotionally needy).
  • He continues to pursue her by constant texting and e-mailing. She says he alternates between “saying mean things” and then apologizing and begging her to give him another chance.
  • She does not respond and blocked his phone, but he continues to text from different numbers. She does not reply to his e-mails. She moved to a different side of town, and so far he has not shown up at her work.
  • We’re very worried about this. What steps can she take to be safe and get this man to stop contacting her? Should her father confront him? So far we have not gotten involved.
  • — Very Worried
  • DEAR WORRIED: I shared your question with Michele Archer, an expert on stalking with the victim’s advocacy group Safe Horizon, (Link): safehorizon.org. Archer has some suggestions for your daughter: “Keep a stalking log of all incidents, including the date, time, location and a brief description of the incident. Save and print out the e-mails. Save all text messages and document them in the log.
  • “I would suggest not changing her e-mail address, but she may want to open another account and give that to people she trusts. Changing her e-mail address may escalate his behavior, and the e-mails he is sending become evidence of stalking, which she can use if she goes to the police.
  • “If she has concerns about him showing up at her work, she should let her place of employment know. If she has a photo of him (look on the Internet) she can make a color copy and give it to her workplace.
  • “If she uses any social networking sites, make them private and be mindful of what she posts.
  • “If this continues, she may want to contact police. The stalking log is useful for this, and she should also show them the text messages. She can also reach out to a domestic violence organization in her community for support or help advocating with the police (if needed) or the district attorney’s office.”
  • Archer adds, “I can’t comment on whether the father should confront him because I do not have enough information about the individual pursuing her. In general, this is not recommended.”
  • In addition to the above actions, I’d like to encourage your daughter not to let this isolate her. The more support she has from friends, colleagues, family members and local law enforcement, the more secure she will feel — and the more secure she will be.

Whether this guy the 25 year old woman met is a “true” Christian or not is beside the point. Only God can see into someone’s heart.

If a man is play acting and putting on all outward appearances of being an upstanding Christian – he’s in church weekly, reads his Bible regularly, doesn’t use vulgar language, etc, and so forth – a woman may very well assume that the guy is a “true” Christian.

If something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, you’re going to feel safe assuming it’s a duck – only to find out later it’s a turkey in a duck costume.

This gets back to a point I’ve mentioned time and again on this blog: single, Christian ladies need to give up the “be equally yoked” evangelical understanding of marriage, where they feel confined to only marrying another Christian.

Other than the sheer fact that there are not enough Christian men for Christian women, a lot of the men who are Christians are pigs and dogs.

I’ve chronicled on this blog links to numerous stories about preachers and other Christians who have been arrested for wife beating, murdering their wife, owning or producing pedophile pornography, etc. (you can view examples in this thread and also do a search on this blog for the term “equally yoked”).

A man can believe in Jesus, confess Jesus is Lord, believe in the Bible, give money to charity, attend church weekly, and yet be a “slime ball” or an abuser.

Confession or actual possession of Christian faith is not a guarantee that the guy is going to treat you any better than the atheist down the street.

Just because you meet the guy in a church, and you see he’s there weekly, doesn’t mean he’s not a pervert or a nutso stalker guy. Just see the example above – the young lady met the guy at church, and he is at times hostile towards her in texts or at other times, too clingy. He’s stalking her. You can meet nuts and abusers in churches, too.

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Related:

(Link):   Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles

(Link): Older Pervy Dudes Hitting on Younger Women – and they  meet them at church

(Link): Male Entitlement and Adult Virginity: Who has it worse, Male Vs. Female?

(Link): Christian Husband Raped, Beat His Wife, Made Her Sign “Slave Contract” – Why Christian Single Women Should Not Date or Marry Christian Men