Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey

Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey

I’ve noted in older posts how terrible Christian advice on the subjects of dating, marriage, and relationships are – if you’d like to see my posts on those subjects, some of them are linked to below, at the bottom of this post under the “Related Posts” section.

By the way, I would ask you to click on this link below to go to the page and read it, but, be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to read any posts by single adults who leave comments, including one comment by a 60 year old lady with the screen name “janep75_2173,” who has been divorced for 20+ years, on how badly her local church treats her for being single.

(Link): Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized

What’s missing from Christian books on dating, singleness, and purity

Excerpts:

…. [The author discusses having read numerous Christian books about dating, marriage, and relationships when she was a teen-ager]

….Our theology of singleness and the “not-yet-married” has gone unmonitored, unchanged, and unimpressive for too long. Much of it is built on outdated gender roles and unhelpful clichés that don’t apply easily to today’s dating world.

For example, many of these books assume that sexual attraction is the “burden” of men and not something women struggle with.

Or, many of these books assume that men will lead a dating relationship and women will follow. Others encourage men and women to avoid and fear each other to avoid “stumbling.”

The Media Should Stop Ignoring When Sexual Misconduct Perpetrators Are Married

The Media Should Stop Ignoring When Sexual Misconduct Perpetrators Are Married

Yes, and conservative Christians should stop ignoring that some adulterers and sexual perverts are MARRIED, and they are cheating on their spouses, in some cases, with OTHER MARRIED PEOPLE.

Why do I feel Christians should stop ignoring this?

Because most Christians continue to stigmatize single adults – especially single women – because they feel that single adults present a threat to married people. They believe that all single women want to strike up affairs with married men, that all unmarried individuals are horn-dogs who have sex with 54 different people per week.

(Link): The Media Should Stop Ignoring When Sexual Misconduct Perpetrators Are Married

Excerpts:

by Timothy P. Carney
June 14, 2018

There’s a new detailed account of how New York Times reporter Glenn Thrush repeatedly would fondle or kiss journalistic colleagues after hours, or take home inebriated women. But you have to read about 3,000 words to learn one detail: He’s married.

Even then, that fact is mentioned only once, in passing, in a quote. And the lack of care for that fact is the norm. A separate Vanity Fairstory on Thrush this week is 1,300 words and it never mentions his marital status.

NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’ -Say Good-Bye to the Equally Yoked Teaching

NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’ -Say Good-Bye to the Equally Yoked Teaching

I see no value or benefit for Christian singles to follow the “equally yoked” teaching, especially in regards to dating or marriage, when so many professing Christians are slime ball weirdos, such as the pastor in this news story.

I’d rather marry a polite, kind, non-slime ball atheist than a guy like this. (This is not to say that all atheist men are great – certainly some I’ve known and read about are sexist jerks or creepers too. You need to judge a guy on his character and how he treats you, not his religious beliefs per se.)

Also, as every women raised Christian knows, Christian single men are in short supply anyway, so you might not have a choice but to marry a Non-Christian anyway.

Recall that much of the Christian invented “Billy Graham Rule” presupposes that single women are threats to married Christian men, when the reality is that usually, married Christian men are attacking or trying to rape single (or married) women. Maybe Christians need to invent a (Link): Reverse Billy Graham Rule.

I’m not sure if the pastor in this story is married or a father, but he probably is: if so, this goes to show that marriage and parenthood do not necessarily make a person more mature, godly, or ethical – as Christians teach.

Further, if this pervert preacher is married, it also goes to show that the common Christian belief that married people are more sexually pure or restrained than adult singles is untrue.

I’d also add that Baptists go around crowing about “family values” all the time, but here you have a Baptist preacher sexually preying on women patients, which is in opposition to “family values.”

(Link):  Church pastor charged with inappropriately touching woman

The pastor of a Salisbury church has been charged with inappropriately touching a woman he was supposed to be counseling, according to a Salisbury Police report.

(Link):  Minister accused of groping woman he was counseling, police say

by M Becker
SALISBURY, N.C. —

Police in Salisbury have charged a local minister with sexually assaulting a woman whom he was counseling.

Police arrested the Rev. Kenneth Darrell Worley Tuesday and charged him with misdemeanor sexual battery more than three months after the woman said he groped her in her home in Salisbury.

 “I kick myself now, but he seemed so trustworthy,” the woman told Eyewitness News on Wednesday.

She said she met Worley in the waiting room of a local hospital where she was having a medical procedure, and he suggested that he could counsel her further at her home.

She said they spoke for about two hours at her kitchen table, but as he got up to leave, he asked if he could give her a hug, then pushed her down onto her couch.

 “He started sticking his tongue in my ear, licking on my neck. He was groping me,” she said.

She got free and called police, but the investigation took more than three months before officers signed a warrant charging Worley with misdemeanor assault.

A spokesman at New Hope Baptist Church in Salisbury said Wednesday that officials there were not ready to comment, but Worley is still the senior pastor there.

(Link): NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’

BETHANIA PALMA MARKUS
12 MAY 2016 AT

A North Carolina pastor has been accused of sexually assaulting a woman after she entrusted him to counsel her, (Link): WSCOTV reports.

Police arrested Rev. Kenneth Darrell Worley after the woman claims he came to her house in the town of Salisbury to provide her with counseling.

After a two-hour talk, the woman, who was not identified, told WSCO that Worley asked her if he could give her a hug.

“That seemed okay, you know? Sure,” she said. But then Worley tried to force himself on her, pushing her backward onto her sofa.

“He started sticking his tongue into my ear, licking on my neck, he was groping me,” she told the station. She called police but the investigation dragged on for months before she was informed they had charged Worley with misdemeanor sexual battery.

Worley is still the senior pastor at his church, New Hope Baptist Church.

She said she is speaking out now because she fears there are other victims.

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Related Posts:

Update 2: (Link):  Church Knew of Preacher’s [Tullian Tchividjian’s] Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet 

(Link): Think The “Billy Graham Rule” Would Have Saved Tullian? Think Again… (Billy Graham rule has all Christians treating single adult women as though they are harlots who cannot be trusted)

(Link):  Update on Christian Rapist Man Who Used Christian Mingle Site To Pick His Victims (he liked to discuss Jesus and the Bible with them before raping them – other details in update) Equally Yoked Teaching IS A FARCE 

(Link): Christian Ladies: Be Equally Yoked to Christian Men Who Like To Have Sex With Dogs! (Re: Jerald Hill news story)

(Link): Forget About Being Equally Yoked: “My Abusive Christian Marriage”

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

Think The “Billy Graham Rule” Would Have Saved Tullian? Think Again… (Billy Graham Rule Has All Christians Treating Single Adult Women as Though They Are Harlots or Temptresses Who Cannot be Trusted)

hink The “Billy Graham Rule” Would Have Saved Tullian? Think Again… (Billy Graham rule has all Christians treating single adult women as though they are harlots who cannot be trusted)

I saw Janet Mefferd (who is a lovely person) tweet this link you see below. She and a few others didn’t seem to like this editorial.

While I do respect Mrs. Mefferd, I disagree with her dislike of this editorial.

Mrs. Mefferd is a married lady, and I assume she’s probably been married for 20 or more years? I do know she has a husband and two or three children.

By contrast, I am over 40 years of age, have never married, have never had sex, have never had children – believe me, when you are a married woman, you have NO IDEA how insulting and terrible churches and Christian culture treats single and/or childless women.

I know because I am single and childless, and I see and encounter the ugly stereotypes and being excluded all on the basis of my single status. Married people are blind to these prejudices against single women, or don’t take them seriously, because they have “Married People Privilege.”

One of the biggest misconceptions and LIES about single adult women is that we are harlots or minxes, we are on the prowl to bed married men.

Again, I’m over 40 and a virgin. If I can and have controlled my libido this long, what on earth gives Christians the right to tell married men to refuse to meet with me alone because I will probably try to rip their pants off? I find this so deeply insulting.

Married Christian women tend to treat single ladies such as myself as threats, even though we are not threats.

Single women such as myself get cut off from getting help or from fellowship because preachers refuse to meet with us alone, not even over a cup of coffee at a Starbuck’s for pete’s sake.

The married women at church treat us single women like we all want to climb into bed with their husbands – news flash: we don’t. So, we don’t get invited over to hang out with the married people.

The Pharisees (religious leaders of Jesus’ day) had similar opinions about women, and how men should handle women: avoid women.

There are ancient accounts of religious leaders (from Jesus’ culture) so averting their gaze to avoid looking at women that they would walk into walls and so forth.

Jesus totally up-ended such stupidity by meeting with all women, even allowing women with questionable pasts to talk to him and touch him (such as the woman who cried on his feet and wiped his feet with her hair).

I will also add that sexual sin performed by a man is that man’s fault. Christians, stop blaming WOMEN for any and all sexual sins committed by men!

It does not matter if a woman is dressed a certain way, or even if she does in fact flirt with a man – at the end of the day, God gives you self control and free will. It is up to you to practice self control and walk away. Stop blaming women for men’s sexual failings!