‘My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men’ – So Hetero Marriage is Responsible For Creating More Homosexuality

‘My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men’ – So Hetero Marriage is Responsible For Creating More Homosexuality

Obviously, a lot of conservative Protestant, Baptist, and evangelical and secular conservative talking points and propaganda about the nuclear family and marriage are not truthful or accurate.

Here we have a married guy who has been married to a woman for 45 years, but now, he’d like to have sex with men (see link/letter much farther below).

Your average conservative Christian would have you believe that marriage makes people more godly, mature, and ethical.

Those marriage and nuclear family conservative and Christian advocates would have you believe that once you marry (they always assume you will marry, they usually take no notice of adults who remain single over the age of 30), that you’ll be having sex with your spouse, and that the married hetero sex you have will be regular and of great quality.

Obviously, this man being discussed below who is married to a woman didn’t make him any less reluctant or less interested in having sex with other men.

It’s become apparent with each year I get older and see more and more news stories and advice columns like this one, that being married is not, contrary to what most Christians teach and believe, a guarantee for sexual satisfaction in life, nor does it guarantee happiness or make a person better or more godly, responsible, or mature.

It’s also evident that Marriage and The Family are not going to fix the culture, as so many talking Christian heads keep arguing.

And, another kicker that I find even more annoying and amusing in light of this article / advice column below:
A few years ago, I saw an editorial or two where the conservative or Christian authors were blaming heterosexual single adults for the seeming proliferation of homosexuals in our culture, or for the widespread acceptance of homosexuality.

Those conservative commentators were trying to blame Hetero singles (yes, heterosexuals) for homosexuality becoming more commonplace in the USA. (You can read one of those posts (Link): here.)

But here we have a letter from a Hetero married guy who wants to be Homosexual. This is not an un-married man. He is not already homosexual. He was married TO A WOMAN and yet STILL wants to engage in homosexual sex acts.

Obviously, adult singles of the Hetero (or Homo) variety did not “cause” this guy to go LGBT – he’s already married to a woman and by his own account had been having hetero married sex for 45 years… and yet, he wants to have sex with other men. Singleness and single adults can in no way be blamed for this.

(Link): My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men

SEPT 05, 2019

Dear How to Do It,

I am a 68-year-old man who has been married to a woman for 45 years, with three grown kids.

Over the course of our marriage, we have been very active sexually, but for various reasons over the past five or six years, our sexual activity has declined dramatically.

Continue reading “‘My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men’ – So Hetero Marriage is Responsible For Creating More Homosexuality”

Conservative Christians Are Now Blaming Homosexual Marriage on Heterosexual Single Adults

Conservative Christians Are Now Blaming Homosexual Marriage on Heterosexual Single Adults

I have a link much farther below from a recent post by a Christian magazine where there are quotes by a conservative Christian group spokesperson that seems to be blaming adult, hetero singles or singleness itself, for the spread of homosexual marriage.

In years past, I have seen a segment of conservative Christians moan, gripe, and complain about the fact that heterosexual people are either not marrying at all, or are delaying age of first marriage until late 20s or older, and hence, a minority of these Christians (such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler and others) is screeching at 15 year old kids to marry by the time they are 25 years of age (this is called “early marriage”).

In the past few months though, I’ve started to see a few articles here and there where Christian writers are blaming the spread or support of homosexual marriage on HETERO adult singleness.

This is coming from conservative Christians, who claim to believe sola scriptura, to claim to believe in the authority and truth of Scripture, to claim to have the utmost respect for the Bible, who believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, written by God through men.

And yet, by blaming hetero adult singles for homosexual marriage, they are denying some of the very teachings of the very Bible they claim to believe in.

So, if you are a never married, hetero, adult over the age of 30, many conservative Christians either assume you yourself are a homosexual (one of many negative assumptions they make about singles), but now, here they are assuming YOU, the hetero single, are to blame for homosexuality.

The problem as I see it is that homosexuality has gained ground in many churches because churches ONLY preach or support hetero marriage, rather than the whole counsel of God regarding relationships, which includes support for HETERO adult singleness and celibacy.

Never do I hear of Protestant or Baptist churches offering regular sermons or ministries about or for adult singles, the topic of singlehood and adult celibacy. Most all content, sermons, etc, are geared towards MARRIED COUPLES WHO HAVE CHILDREN.

Conservative Christians are loathe to defend adult (hetero) celibacy because they are oddly preoccupied with baby making, and this due to two reasons (or possibly more, but these are two that jump to mind as I write this):

1. Christian Gender Complementarianism.

Yes, a stubborn refusal to seriously consider the claims of Christian gender egalitarianiasm continually has most Christians prescribing very narrow roles and views for women.

Most comps (Christian gender complementarians) assume a woman’s only role or purpose in life is to crank out children.

You, as a woman, are reduced in Christian gender complementarianism to the level of a broodmare.

Comps do this because they think it will ward off an encroachment of secular feminists; so, they dig their heels in even harder to defend rigid gender roles which forever casts women into “Wife and Mommy” positions.

(I do not object to women being wives and mothers if they freely choose to do so. I do not support it if done so out of guilt, feeling of obligation, church or Christian brainwashing, or fear.)

Comps will claim in their material they do not feel that women can be only a “Wife And Mommy,” but their conferences, books, sermons, speeches, and blogs on women belie this, for 99% of the topics they address routinely consists of headings such as,

-“How To Be a More Submissive Wife,”

-“How to bake healthy peanut butter cookies for your children while reading Bible stories to them,” or

-“Remember to stay thin with long hair, because God wired your husband to be visually oriented”

(Yes, seriously, Christian gender complementarian material contains such dreck (one minor example here), and it gets worse and worse the more fringe the group is, if they are into “quivering” like the Duggars, for example, or into Reconstructionism.)

(Plus, their sexist views of women underlie much of these assumptions, and they find misinterpreting Bible verses a handy way of keeping women down and out.)

Complementarians have no clue what other purpose or role to assign women in churches or in life in general – it’s either baby making or casserole baking. They have no idea what to tell women who never marry, women who are celibate, women whose husbands die, or what to say to a woman who is infertile or who willingly chooses to forgo procreation.

2. Using babies to “out breed” opponents.

I have written of this subject before, so I shall not write of it here – search my blog to find posts about Christians who think Christian women should breed like rabbits for the sole or primary purpose to out produce Muslims and other peoples.

Here is one example of this new trend in reporting I am referring to:

(Link): We Can’t Blame the Gay Agenda for This Troubling Marriage Trend


  • 11:00AM EDT 10/23/2014
  • More and more Americans are staying single longer, or choosing not to wed at all, and American Family Association says the trend is alarming and harmful to the bedrock of the American institution of the family—the cornerstone of any society.New data from the U.S. Census Bureau shows that more young people are waiting to marry, and the percentage of adults who have never been married has hit an all-time high. For example, in 1960, about one in 10 adults over the age of 25 were single; in 2012, that same statistic jumped to one in five.“This disturbing trend works against the family,” said AFA President Tim Wildmon. “It has negative implications for adults because God designed marriage for companionship and as a way to show His love to our spouses. And it’s detrimental for kids, as God created marriage and family so that we could raise children in godly, loving homes. On a cultural level, numerous studies have shown that those in traditional, healthy marriages and families fare far better that those who are not.”

    Researchers and experts don’t know exactly what’s driving the declining marriage numbers, though many have theories, including economical reasons, financial security and the fact that out-of-wedlock cohabitation and childbearing are more accepted today.

Notice the many un-biblical, insulting views that the AFA spokesperson, Wildmon, has about the purpose of marriage, the body of Christ, and singleness.

Here is the reply I left on the page – I could have written more, but it was already getting pretty long:

  • This editorial gets a few things wrong. Be careful that in defending “traditional marriage” that you do not do so at the expense of adult singles or singleness. Jesus Christ remained single and celibate his whole life – he did not marry or have children. Your editorial would accuse Jesus himself of “working against the family.”Jesus Christ died on the cross over sin, not to defend traditional marriage or the nuclear family. How often conservative evangelical Christians and fundamentalists forget that, or choose to ignore it.The Bible shows a great deal of respect for adult singleness and celibacy, see for instance 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 where apostle Paul says remaining single is in some ways easier and more beneficial than in marrying.

    Marriage is fine if someone wants to marry, but the Bible also presents lifelong singleness as a viable, godly option, and shame on Christian writers like the one on this page saying singleness is wrong.

    The church body is supposed to provide companionship for all believers, marriage is not supposed to be the basis of that. See Jesus’ remarks on who is his brother, who is his mother in Matthew chapter 12 verse 47-50,

  • “Someone said to Him [Jesus], “Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You.”
  • 48 But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” 4
  • 9 And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers!
  • 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.””

EDIT. Oct 28, 2014.

Here is yet another conservative editorial blaming hetero singles for cultural issues, vis a vis delayed marriage or no-marriage:

(Link): How the Decline in Marriage Is Fueling Inequality – from the Daily Signal site, and tweeted by The Heritage Foundation

The problem with editorials such as that is they assume that many or most singles do not want to be married.

There are plenty of single women, ages 30 and older, such as myself, who would like to marry, but we cannot find partners our own ages – dating sites have not worked, attending singles classes at churches have not worked.

Telling us that marriage confers wonderful benefits or advantages is preaching to the choir. Stop telling me I should be married, and start publishing pointers on how to get to the altar, and I don’t mean insulting tips that assume I am still single because I am flawed (see (Link): this page for more on that).

See also:

(Link): Preachers and Christian Media Personalities: Re: Marriage – You’re missing the point stop trying to argue or shame singles into getting married

Related posts:

(Link): “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site

(Link): ‘My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men’ – So Hetero Marriage is Responsible For Creating More Homosexuality

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians | Re: Marriage Not Happening for Hetero-sexual Christians Over the Age of 30

(Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States (2014)

(Link):  Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?

(Link): A Response by Colon to Regnerus Re: Misguided Early Marriage Propaganda

(Link): A Case Against Early Marriage by Ashley Moore (editorial)

(Link): The Nauseating Push by Evangelicals for Early Marriage

(Link): Rush to early marriage feeds Utah’s higher-than-average divorce rate (article)

(Link): Christian Early Marriage Position Advocates A Low View of Celibacy and Virginity and Adult Singleness – another example: Justin Deeter Blog about Early Marriage

(Link):  Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family) (article)

(Link):  Why Christians Need To Stress Spiritual Family Over the Nuclear Family – People with no flesh and blood relations including Muslims who Convert to Christianity – Also: First World, White, Rich People Problems

(Link): Preacher Mark Driscoll Basically Says Only Married Men May Serve, that, No, Single Christian Males Cannot or Should Not Serve as Preachers / in Leadership Positions – Attempts to Justify Unbiblical, Anti Singleness Christian Bias

(Link):  Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link) Have we made an idol of families? by A. Stirrup (copy)

(Link): Is The Church Failing Childless Women? by Diane Paddison

(Link): Why Singles Belong in Church Leadership by L. Ferguson

(Link):  Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian? by Duke Taber

(Link):  The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): A Response to the Hemingway Editorial ‘Fecundophobia’ – conservatives and Christians continue to idolize children, marriage – which is unbiblical

(Link):  Misapplication of Biblical Verses About Fertility (also mentions early marriage) – a paper by J. McKeown

(Link):  If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link):  When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

(Link):  Family as “The” Backbone of Society?

(Link): Christian Patriarchy Group: God Demands You Marry and Have Babies to Defeat Paganism and Satan. Singles and the Childless Worthless (in this worldview).

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link):  Southern Baptists Pushing Early Marriage, Baby Making – Iranians Pushing Mandatory Motherhood – When Christians Sound Like Muslims

(Link):  Singles Shaming at The Vintage church in Raleigh – Singlehood Shaming / Celibate and Virgin Shaming

(Link): The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage (and “family”) by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Misuse of Terms Such As “Traditional Families” by Christians – Re: Kirk Cameron, Homosexual Marriage, and the 2014 Grammys

(Link):  The Changing American Family (article)

(Link): Conservative Christianity Stuck in 1950s Leave it To Beaver-ville