views and thoughts on topics, especially ones pertaining to christianity – with an emphasis on how most christians either ignore or discriminate against unmarried christians – and how christians have turned marriage and parenting into IDOLS and how there is no true support for sexual purity, virginity, or celibacy among christians – this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don't debate dissenters ————-
I don’t agree with all the views of the woman named Kenney who is quoted in this. Kenney wrongly assumes that being a virgin, or choosing to be one due to religious reasons or what have you, makes you repressed, or she assumes you have been brain-washed by the patriarchy.
The article makes a point that people who read about her story on social media were “divided” about it.
If people are touchy about virginity and celibacy it’s because most of the culture is extremely sexualized, puts far too much weight on sex, assumes that having sex is necessary to be “normal” or to be mature. Further, any and all forms of sexual acts have been normalized by broader culture now to the point that anyone who chooses not to partake in the hedonistic sexual free-for-all is thought to be a weirdo, loser, or wet blanket.
I’m expect to support and respect the behavior of people who have kinky sex, homosexual sex, promiscuous sex, etc and what all, but all the people who demand me expect that refuse to respect adult virginity or adult celibacy.
Millennial Explains Why She’s Still A Virgin at 27 Years Old: “It’s Partly Circumstance, It’s Partly Choice’
“I think it’s partly circumstance and partly choice,” she told hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield.
“I think when it comes to losing your virginity there are two camps of thought, when one wants it to mean something and wait for the right person, and obviously some people don’t care.
“I guess I was in the first category, I wasn’t looking for the man I was going to marry, but I wanted something that wasn’t going to be a one night stand, a connection more than sex. I guess I just never found the right person.”
Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson
About me and this blog:
If you are new to my blog: I have been a conservative my entire life. I’ve never voted Democrat. I was a Republican until a few years ago. I am no longer in any political party.
I sometimes critique secular, left wing feminists on my blog (such as but not limited to (Link): this post and (Link):this one), but there are times when I believe other conservatives get feminists wrong, and feminists are actually correct on some issues.
I was brought up in a traditional values, conservative, Christian family where my parents brought me to Southern Baptist churches as I was growing up, where I was taught to believe in gender complementarianism, which I did for many years, until I finally realized how (Link): wrong and sexist complementarianism is.
Because I grew up as a complementarian, I am quite familiar with what they think and why they think as they do.
My current religious beliefs are somewhat “up in the air,” as I am waffling between being agnostic, (or a deist), and the Christian faith. (Note: I am not an atheist.)
I am by no means anti- Nuclear Family, anti- motherhood, or anti- marriage, though I do posit that many to most conservatives – especially the religious ones – have gone to un-biblical lengths and have turned the Nuclear Family, marriage, natalism, and motherhood and fatherhood into idols which is wrong of them.
— end introduction to me and this blog —
I saw a link to this essay go through my Twitter feed today:
On one level, this essay – “Advice for Incels” was okay.
However, I think that while the guy who wrote it has his heart in the right place, I think he gets a lot of things wrong and is naive about how Baptist and conservative Protestant and evangelical churches are for adult singles.
I’ve spent the last several years on this blog covering these topics – I’d encourage Williamson and anyone who read his NRO piece to read the books (Link): “Singled Out” by Field and Colon and“Quitting Church” by Christian author Julia Duin for even more information.
Smartphone apps We-Consent and Sa-Sie were among the first to attempt a digital solution with apps that allowed partners to check “yes” when they agreed to sex.
Now, LegalFling is joining the consent-by-click market, with the added cachet of being blockchain-based. The company says it will be available for download in the Apple and Android app stores in the next month.
Sure, it can be awkward to stop and talk about consent in the heat of the moment, which is why partners rely on non-verbal cues to give and interpret it.
“Carelessness” and “brutality” are two words that certainly typify the sexual “moment” we are in as a culture. How we expect to live in a 50 Shades sexual fantasy world while also managing to avoid it’s unintentional (but by no means unforeseen) ugly consequences totally escapes me.
…I rejoice that with the #MeToo movement we are seeing at least the beginnings of a reckoning—of society’s attempt to say, with a unified voice, “This we will not tolerate.”
But is #MeToo enough? It seems obvious to me that it is not.
As long as the roots of the problem are left unaddressed, the same ugly fruit will continue to spring up from polluted earth—now in one way, now in another. We will keep recycling brutality and abuse.
Amethyst Realm, a 27-year-old Brit, is getting slut-shamed for claiming to have had sex with at least 20 ghosts — whom she purportedly prefers to living men.
Realm, from Bristol, England, went on the British TV show “ITV This Morning” on Thursday to discuss her out-of-body-on-body experiences. She says it all began in 2005, when she moved into a haunted home with her then-fiancé.
HIV Positive Homosexual Guy Allegedly Cut Tips Off Condoms to Infect His Grindr Dates
I most usually focus on hetero-sexuals or heterosexual related issues, but there’s this story (another example of why being celibate isn’t so bad, you don’t have to worry about someone deliberately trying to give you a STI):
Ten Things Every Twenty-Something Virgin is Tired of Hearing by Alice Riley
You don’t have to be in your 20s to find these sorts of things obnoxious and annoying. You can be over the age of 30, a virgin, and still be faced with these types of platitudes and put-downs and incredulity.
When it comes to losing your virginity, some people meet their first love at 15, date for X months before deciding they’re ‘ready’, and do the deed.
Others, however, were on the shy side, went through education with a gender ratio that didn’t work out in their favour, or were just a bit unlucky, and therefore managed to make it into their twenties (or beyond), without having, well, done it yet.
A woman in England stands accused of trying to completely disembowel her ex-husband in an attempt to stop him from leaving the country with their young daughter.
Taxi driver Mohammed Bilal Miah relayed during proceedings at Birmingham Crown Court in the U.K. on Monday how his wife, 35-year-old Dalya Saeed, sliced open his stomach and yanked out part of his small intestine after she requested for him to stop by her Moseley apartment in 2015, the Daily Mailreports.
Did Hell Freeze Over?: Liberal Rag Promotes Idea that Celibacy is Acceptable, and a Valid Life Choice / Re: 2016 Study Says Millennials Aren’t Having Much Sex
The following editorial comes from left wing site Salon, known for publishing pieces by left wing feminist Marcotte, who likes to insist everyone respect women’s sexual choices except for virginity and celibacy – she thinks it’s okay to mock those (see this link and this link for more on that).
Most of the time, liberals are loathe to admit that it’s okay for adults (or kids) to be virgins or celibates. They often portray the state of being abstinent as being sexually repressed or weird. They get all judgey-judgemental about it, but at the same time ask us not to “slut shame” the people, especially women, who boink around like dogs in heat.
So, I was quite surprised to see this liberal editorial defending the idea that it’s okay for people to be chaste, and that people need to stop pressuring everyone to have sex. This sort of editorial from a left wing site is very, very rare.
Everyone calm down and stop judging young adults for “missing out on a good time”
….While the study’s findings are of cultural interest about changing sexual practices, an unfortunate side effect is the concurrent media sex panic. To wit: a Washington Post headline asked if this means “(Link): the end of sex?” while (Link): The Cuttouted “Millennials Confirm That Sex Is No Longer Cool.”
“My boyfriend was intimidated by my sexual history. So I dumped him.” by T. Hornung
I’m not going to take the usual, secular, left wing feminist standard here (for one thing, I’m right wing and don’t always agree with secular feminists), where I’m supposed to say a woman’s sexual history is not a boyfriend’s business, or the boyfriend should not be upset by his girlfriend’s sexual past, and say, “Rah rah, women’s sexual freedom.”
I am forever amazed that “sex positive” feminists, whether they are men or women, assume that their previous sexual choices should not, or will not, have any consequences upon them or the people around them.
Some of us are more “serious” about sex than other people – sex actually means something to us, so yes, we find it troubling, and I suppose this is doubly so, if we are virgins over 35 years of age, and have to grapple with the fact that our current partner has had sex with other people in the past.
“‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ [Book] Told Me to Stay Pure Until Marriage. I Still Have a Stain on My Heart” – Regarding: Dating Book by Author Josh Harris (with other related links about the IKDG book) and Criticizing “Purity Culture”
August 24, 2016 update: I added a new link at the bottom of this post: people continue to attack the idea of sexual purity by publicizing backlash against the Harris IKDG book.
I myself have never read the IKDB book, which was written by Harris. I have read about the book on other sites in the past, and it is my understanding the book discussed how to date, and other such topics, and is not strictly about sex or virginity.
The author uses this review of the IKDG book to bash “purity culture,” and in so doing, touches on the topic or staying chaste until marriage.
I am in the middle of this debate. I cannot completely agree with all the critics of “purity culture,” depending on what they are criticizing about it and why.
I believe that the Bible teaches both male and females are to sexually abstain until marriage, so I don’t believe in tossing out this teaching all because some young women feel they have been hurt or oppressed by it.
On the other hand, how some Christians have taught about sexual purity has been lop-sided – males are typically not addressed, only females – and Christians could do a better, or more sensitive job, in how they present the concept of remaining a virgin until marriage.
With that introduction, here is the link, with some excerpts (and note, I am not in complete agreement with all views in this piece; however, I’m not a supporter of a lot of Christian dating advice. Christian dating advice tends to act as an obstacle to singles who want to someday marry):
In 1997, Joshua Harris published “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” a book that was in part a warning about the harm that relationships before marriage could cause. Harris evoked images of men at the altar bringing all their past partners with them into the marriage to reinforce the point that love and sex before marriage took pieces of your heart and made you less.
At the time, Harris was just 21, but he was already a rising star.
…He [Harris] was what we, as young evangelicals, wanted to be. And so we strove passionately to attain the ideal of premarital purity he laid out for us. Now, almost 20 years later, even Harris appears to be questioning whether his advice did more harm than good.
…But Harris’s book was hugely influential.
…On the surface, I am a purity-culture success story: I am a heterosexual woman, a virgin until marriage, now with two small children and a husband I deeply love. We attend church. We believe in God. And yet, for me, the legacy of purity culture is not one of freedom but one of fear.
Purity culture taught me that I ought to be passed down from father to husband, more an inheritance than a human.
I was taught that men are my cover and my shield, when for the most part they have been the ones causing damage through molestation, rape and abuse.
I was taught that my holy calling was to open my legs for one and only one and bear him children. Barring that, I was to keep them closed and never express desire or lust or fear or longing.
So many women in my life cracked under the untenable pressure, often giving up on God all together. Others were forced into marriages with men who hit them and hid their abuse behind another message of the church borne from purity culture, that God hates divorce.
WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This
This story comes from NewsBusters, which is discussing a column written for Washington Post newspaper by columnist Kristen Page-Kirby about the new Ghostbusters movie.
The original Ghostbusters movie, released in the 1980s, contained four male leads. The reboot version of the movie, which was released July 15, 2016, contains four women leads instead.
Unfortunately, over a year or more ago, when news came out that there would be four women leads in the film, some of the sexist jerkwads who inhabit the internet started lambasting the movie all over You Tube, Twitter, and where ever else – not because the move was bad (it wasn’t even released yet), but because they were incensed that Hollywood was cramming some form of feminism down their throats.
Interestingly, I didn’t see as much backlash over the main character of the new Star Wars film, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” being a woman – Rey.
At any rate, I will be discussing two or three different topics in this post that are related to this new film, or mentioned by the conservative essayist at the NewsBusters site.
This is another story where I am in the middle. I can’t say as though I’m completely on one side or another in regards to some aspects of this story, depending on what is under discussion.
I am currently a moderate right-winger (I used to be more to the right than I am currently. In the last few years, I’ve been reconsidering if some of my former political and Christian beliefs are wrong.)
I’ve been more open the last few years to hearing the criticisms and views of liberals and Non-Christians – which is not to say I agree with everything I see left wingers and Non-Christians espousing or arguing in favor of.
I sometimes think secular, liberal feminists have good points on some topics, but I normally disagree with them.
As far as the Ghostbusters film reboot is concerned, I do think some of the backlash against the movie does in fact stem from sexism. But then, I do think some people may honestly feel that the movie is genuinely bad due to having a poor story line, or what have you.
I have not seen the movie yet. I don’t go to movie theaters that much anymore.
I usually wait until movies air on cable television; I’m willing to bet that this Ghostbusters reboot will probably be shown on F/X channel, or SyFy, or some other cable network in the next two years, and I have cable television, so I don’t know if I want to invest my time and cash into driving down to a theater to see this, since it will eventually be on television.
I saw the original Ghostbusters in a movie theater when it was in theaters in the 1980s. I was a kid at the time.
The original was okay, it was quite enjoyable and plenty of fun, but it was no movie masterpiece, so to all the men online who were griping about the reboot featuring all women leads: get the hell over it already.
And yes, you were, or are, being sexist douche bags about it. I don’t buy for a moment that ALL male griping about the film is based on non-sexist reasons, like shoddy trailers, or supposed poor CG work.
The vast majority of the professional reviews (and I have read a ton of them) for the new Ghostbusters film have deemed it “okay.” -Not terrible. Not great. But just “meh.” It’s so-so, most reviews have said.
What I don’t appreciate is that the columnist for WaPo who was discussing male backlash about the movie is using virginity as an insult.
A man who was acquitted on rape charges following a retrial in 2015 claims he is going on a hunger strike after being informed he must notify the police 24 hours before having sex.
According to (Link): Newsweek, the unidentified man, living in North Yorkshire, England, is subject to a “sexual risk order” applied to anyone police feel poses a risk of sexual assault — even if they have never been convicted.
A new study by a pair of Notre Dame economists received some media attention this week. It found that school districts that instituted condom distribution programs in the early 1990s saw significant increases in the teen-fertility rate [as well as an increase in sexually transmitted diseases].
….Of all the study shows, the most out-of-place finding doesn’t relate to sex but to virginity. Nearly 40 percent of college students claim they’ve never had sex.
Only five years ago, as the Esquire editorial notes, a (Link): 25-year, “exhaustive” study called “Sex Lives of College Students: A Quarter Century of Attitudes and Behaviors,” found that college students who say they’re virgins made up only 13 percent. If both numbers hold up, that’s a startling, 27 percent jump in a really short time span.
….They continue: “It’s as if sexual freedom has become a burden as well as a gift.”
Abstinence advocacy groups say a new (Link):study criticizing virginity pledges misses the point of abstinence education.
The study, “Broken Promises: Abstinence Pledging and Sexual and Reproductive Health,” published on the website of the Journal for Marriage and Family, reports that the vast majority of virginity pledgers break their promise to save sex for marriage.